Gift for Roseofthewest

[gelsey]

Gift for: roseofthewest

From: kellychambliss

Title: Of Course
Characters: Severus Snape, Minerva McGonagall, Gilderoy Lockhart
Rating: G
Summary: Severus and Gilderoy exchange Christmas gifts.
Notes: roseofthewest asked for "Snape dealing with absurd situations." So I immediately thought of Gilderoy. Of course.

~*~*~*~*~

Of course Minerva spots it first. She might need spectacles, but she never has a problem seeing whatever you don't want her to see. Of course she bursts out laughing, too; Gryffindors have no self-restraint. But at least she doesn't kiss you.

"Six sprigs of charmed mistletoe following you about," she says, with that Gryffindor knack for stating the obvious. "You must have a secret admirer, Severus."

"Don't be absurd," you snap. "It's clearly a prank. If it turns out to be those Weasley twins--"

But of course it turns out to be worse. It turns out to be Lockhart.

"Happy Christmas, Severus," he bleats, strutting towards you, patting his ridiculous curls. "Did you notice my mistletoe charm?"

Did you notice me hexing your balls green? you want to say, but of course you don't. He'll find out soon enough.

"Our Severus is too shy with the ladies," the idiot prattles to Minerva, who is loving this, of course, damn her laughing eyes. "I thought I'd encourage him."

"It's delightful, Gilderoy," you cut in, before Minerva can be humorous at your expense. "Tomorrow I'll send you a thank-you present. My best hair potion. Septima swears by it."

Babbling about Septima's beautiful hair, the dunderhead beams and toddles off.

Minerva, of course, isn't fooled.

"You're giving him the 'hair' potion you brew for Septima?" she asks, eyebrow raised. "Would that be her sensitive-skin depilatory potion?"

You snatch a hovering bit of mistletoe and crush it as you reply.

"Of course."