FIC: The Decision (R)
Title: The Decision
Type: Fic
Age-Range Category: Two
Characters: Severus Snape, Lucius Malfoy, Voldemort, The Lestranges, Avery
Author: debjunk
Beta(s): steelersgirl
Rating: R
Click to View [Warning(s)]Graphic Depictions of Violence and death.
Note(s): I wanted to examine what Severus' decision to join the Death Eaters might have been like. Was it all perfect until he heard the prophecy, or did he have misgivings from the start?
Summary: How did Severus receive the Mark, and how long did it take for him to regret his choice?
Lucius Malfoy leveled a glance at Severus Snape.
"He won't wait forever, you know. Once the Dark Lord extends an invitation, he expects an answer quickly, not an I'll think about it."
Severus rolled his eyes. "I simply asked for a couple weeks to consider it."
"Merlin, Severus, how long does it take to make a decision? We've been talking about this for years now."
Frowning, Severus looked at Lucius seriously. "I want to make sure I'm doing the right thing. This is a major decision that I will not take lightly. I understand that it's a lifelong commitment."
Lucius huffed and stood. "Just don't take too long," he declared before turning toward the door.
Severus rose as well and walked his friend over to it. Lucius stopped and turned back to him. "You know what the right choice is, Severus. Just make it."
And with that, the older man waltzed out of the flat. Severus eyed him as he elegantly strutted down the hallway before closing the door. His hand pressed against the surface, and he leaned his head against it. He knew that Lucius was right. There was no reason for him to ignore or refuse the Dark Lord's invitation, but something just niggled at him. He truly couldn't understand it. Everything he'd heard about the Death Eater Organization was exactly what he'd been looking for.
He could have power, be important, and have a hand in shaping the future of the Wizarding World. It was all he'd wanted since he was a boy… the ability to not be taken advantage of or made fun of; the idea of having respect and camaraderie among the Death Eaters; it was intoxicating.
But yet, there was the doubt. Was he making a mistake? Were the Death Eaters and Voldemort actually the evil ones like Lily had said? He couldn't help but think he was making a terrible mistake by taking the Mark.
Lifting his head, he grabbed his jacket and left the apartment. He needed to talk to someone. He quickly walked down the street and into a nearby alley. Spinning, he Disapparated away. A few seconds later, he appeared in front of a brick two story. Quickly walking up to the door, he knocked.
"Oy, who is it?" he heard from the other side of the door.
"It's Severus. May I come in?"
After a moment, the door swung open magically, and he entered the home. There were four young men sitting around, sipping on beers. He looked over at his school chum.
"Avery, I need a word."
The blond flicked his hair back, set down his ale, and stood. He motioned to the stairs.
"Come on, then."
Severus followed Avery up the stairs to his room. He watched the other man sit down on the bed and motion for him to sit on a pile of clothes. Severus lowered himself uncomfortably and looked at Avery.
"What's it like?" Severus asked finally.
"What's what like?" Avery asked.
"Being with Voldemort. What's it like?"
"Ohhh. It's absolutely amazing! He's got such ideas! His vision will bring our world into the future."
"So, what do you do in your meetings?"
Avery grinned at him. "Why don't you join up and find out?"
"I'm considering it," Severus admitted.
Avery leaned in. "What's the holdup?" he asked.
Severus shrugged. "I'm not sure. I want to, but I want to know what it's all about, and Lucius is very tight-lipped about what goes on during the meetings."
"That's because he's one of the big-wigs. He's not supposed to say what goes on. Not me, though." His eyebrows narrowed. "I mean, I guess we all take a vow to keep mum about it, but you're almost one of us, yeah?"
Severus nodded tentatively.
"So, it all starts out with the Dark Lord telling us the new plans and how we're going to take over everything. Then he tells some of us to do things."
"What kind of things?"
"Oh, you know, stuff."
Severus arched a brow. "What kind of stuff?"
"Well, he had me and Mulciber go out and…" he paused. "Oh, never mind."
"What did you do?"
Avery furrowed his brow and looked down for a minute. "We started a rally in Diagon Alley. We got everyone excited about Pureblood power. It was amazing."
"Did you gain any permanent followers?" Severus asked.
"We're still working on that," Avery replied as he looked to the ground.
Severus mulled over what Avery said. That didn't seem too bad. He could rally troops. He could do that.
"What else has he asked you to do?" Severus asked.
Avery shrugged. "I really can't talk about it. That is part of what we vow not to discuss."
Severus huffed. "Can you say if it's dangerous?" he queried.
"Sorry, Sev. I can't really say anything more."
Severus nodded and furrowed his brow.
"What are you worried about?" Avery cried. "It's the Dark Lord! He will give us power, and when he's in control, guess who gets to be in control with him?"
"I know. I know. I just…"
Avery waited.
"I just have this feeling that it's not the right thing for me right now."
"Blimey, Sev, when will it be the right thing?"
Severus shrugged. "I don't know. I'm conflicted."
"Mate, I can guarantee you won't regret it. You always said you wanted people to listen to you. To respect you. That's what this is all about! Being in the brotherhood means you automatically have respect. As you work your way up, that just increases."
Severus mulled over what Avery was saying. Finally, he nodded. "You're right, of course. It's what I've wanted for a long time. It's just the unknown that's keeping me from moving forward, but as you've said, I've been working toward this for a while."
Avery smiled and chuckled. "Glad I could be of help, Sev. Are you gonna do it soon?"
Severus shrugged. "I suppose. Lucius was bugging me to give him an answer earlier."
"There's a meeting next week. You can join then."
Severus nodded. "I'll speak to Lucius tonight. Thanks mate."
He rose and shook hands with his friend. "I guess I'll see you soon."
"Damn straight," Avery remarked.
The week passed almost in an instant for Severus. Nervously, he Apparated to where Lucius had told him to go. Evidently, the group was meeting outdoors today. From what Lucius said, they changed their location for every meeting so no one could track them down.
Severus looked around. Lucius had Apparated with him, and was standing next to him, looking his usual, regal self. Severus saw Avery off in the distance, talking to their friend Mulciber. There were small pockets of people spread around, talking with one another.
Lucius turned to Severus. "Follow me, and don't say much," he ordered.
Lucius paraded around with Severus, introducing him to those who were there. Severus nodded or said hello, but didn't say anything more, as Lucius had advised. He was introduced to Igor Karkaroff, a man close to his age, from Bulgaria. Next were Barty Crouch Jr., and the Lestrange family.
Severus took them all in. There were many who were around his age or within ten years of him. Towards the back of the group several older men stood. He recognized Avery and Mulciber's fathers. Lucius pointed to the older group.
"You probably recognize your friends' parents. The others are Nott, Rosier, and Dolohov. They are the Dark Lord's first followers."
Severus gave a quick nod, acknowledging the introductions from afar. His eye caught Bellatrix Lestrange wander away. Wondering where she was going, he turned to ask Lucius, but before he had a chance to open his mouth, she returned arm in arm with Lord Voldemort. She fawned all over him, and Severus mused that she was nothing but a kiss-up.
He'd never seen the Dark Lord in person before. He'd only heard about what he looked like. The descriptions didn't even come close to what Lord Voldemort appeared to be. His skin was a greyed color, his nose almost nonexistent, but his eyes were the most startling feature on the man. They were red, and the most disturbing thing about them were his pupils. They were slits instead of circles. They looked like cat eyes.
Severus didn't wonder why everyone feared the man. He was frightening just to gaze upon. A chill ran down his spine as the Dark Lord made eye contact with him. He felt a subtle nudging in his brain. He wouldn't have noticed it if he hadn't been practicing Legilimency himself, having heard the Dark Lord used it. He'd also dabbled in Occlumency, so he'd know how to counter such an invasion, but he had nothing to hide from the Dark Lord, so he left his mind open to exploration.
Lord Voldemort turned his gaze away from him and looked to Bellatrix.
"It seems we have a new follower," he remarked.
Bellatrix gave Severus an appraising look.
"Not much to look at, is he?" she chided.
"I sense great magical strength in him. I care not what he looks like, just what he can add to our group."
Turning to Severus again, he continued.
"Severus Snape, step forward."
Severus tentatively approached the man with his head bowed.
"Look at me," Voldemort demanded.
Severus raised his head and looked Voldemort in the eye.
"You want to join our ranks?" the Dark Lord asked.
"Yes," Severus replied deferentially.
"Why should we accept you as one of our brethren?" Voldemort continued.
"As you say, my Lord, I am a powerful wizard. I also have an aptitude in potions and can be helpful to you in that aspect."
"Yes, Severus, we can certainly use your skill in potions. None of my followers have that aptitude."
Severus bowed his head deferentially.
"Severus Snape," the Dark Lord commanded.
Severus' head snapped back up.
"Give me your arm," Voldemort drawled slowly.
Severus extended his arm and the Dark Lord grasped it. He placed the tip of his wand on Severus' pale flesh.
"Do you, Severus Snape, swear your allegiance to me?"
"I do," Severus replied.
"And do you pledge to be loyal and do as commanded with your fellow Death Eaters?"
Severus didn't like the use of the word commanded, but he continued on with his promises.
"I do."
"And will you, Severus Snape, do all you can to promote the Death Eater goal of making the Wizarding World more powerful."
"I do."
"And will you swear a vow to keep secret those things that are to be kept secret within our society?"
Severus wasn't quite sure what that entailed, but he nodded. "I do."
The Dark Lord muttered a spell under his breath, and Severus felt a sharp burning on his arm. A flash of excitement and pride flowed through him as the Mark formed on his skin. He watched and hid his pain as the outline of the skull and snake formed on his arm and burned into his skin. He tried to contain his pain, but all he wanted to do was scream because it hurt so horridly. He fell to his knees as the spell completed and Voldemort released his arm.
"Go," the Dark Lord commanded. "You will be useless for the rest of the night. Be ready to fulfill your duties at our next meeting."
"Yes… my… Lord," Severus gasped out before struggling to stand.
He withdrew from Voldemort's presence and Lucius led him away from the group.
"Can you Apparate?" the blond wizard asked him.
Severus grit his teeth as he cradled his arm but gave a sharp nod.
"Good. It will look better in our Lord's eyes if you can leave on your own."
Severus nodded.
"I'll see you next week."
"Thank… you, Luc… Lucius," Severus replied before spinning away with a crack.
Appearing in front of his flat, he fell to his knees and grasped his arm against his chest. Gritting his teeth once again, he moaned and fought back the tears that were forming in his eyes. He struggled to get onto his feet and quickly moved to his front door, tapped his wand on the handle, and entered. He closed the door behind him and leaned against it, sliding down onto the floor. He gently held his arm in front of him and cautiously looked down at it.
The Mark was completely red and swollen. He blew on it, but that only served to make a sharp pain shoot through his arm. He sat on the floor for a while, staring at the Mark. Well, he had done it. He was committed now.
He finally belonged to something. Something extraordinary! Lord Voldemort and his followers would change the world. The pride he felt as the Dark Lord set his mark surged through him again. This was an organization he could be proud of. A group that would enact change in the Wizarding World and help to make them a force among not only their world, but the Muggle world as well.
Severus stood among his fellow Death Eaters. A thrill went through him as they all listened to the Dark Lord pontificate about how much better the world would be with their rule. The future looked glorious, and Severus would be a part of it. His chest swelled up with pride.
"Yes, my friends," Voldemort called out to the crowd. "We will prevail and show the world how important having Pureblood leadership will be. Only with a pure society can we grow and prosper!"
The Dark Lord swirled around, his robes sweeping around him.
"Now… for your assignments tonight," Voldemort continued.
Voldemort ran though the groupings and what they were to do that evening. His eyes fell upon Severus.
"And you, our newest recruit. You will join the Lestrange's to understand exactly what our organization is all about," the Dark Lord ordered.
Severus bowed his head in reverence to his Lord. The Dark Lord nodded briskly and turned to another follower and finished his assignments.
Severus made his way over to Rabastan, Bellatrix, and Rodolphus. They regarded him gruffly.
"Don't get in the way, Snape. We've got a lot to do today," Rodolphus grunted.
"I'm here to help," Severus replied.
Bellatrix smiled wickedly at him. "The boy wants to play. Maybe he'll be an asset."
"I am no boy," Severus replied gruffly.
"Oh, now, Snape, don't get all upset. You're just out of Hogwarts! What else do you expect me to call you?"
Severus grit his teeth. "Not a boy," he reiterated.
Bellatrix chuckled at him. "Okay, young man, then. We are going to seek out one of the members of the Wizengamot, Percival Gladship, and help him to see that backing us would be… beneficial."
"Why him?"
Bellatrix grinned evilly. "He's the newest member. We already have several other followers on the court, but having him from the start would be an in with the Dark Lord."
After a quick briefing, the four of them Apparated to the home of Percival Gladship. Rodolphus blasted the door in with a wave of his wand.
Severus frowned, not really sure why they needed to blow the door in instead of simply knocking.
They caught the man unawares in his sitting room. The three Lestranges all had their wands pointing at Gladship before he could even reach for his own. Taking their lead, Severus raised his wand at the man as well. He nervously glanced between Rabastan and Gladship.
The latter was white as a sheet and looked like he was about to piss himself. Rabastan grinned maniacally.
"So, Gladship, you have caught the eye of the Dark Lord. We come with an offer that you can't refuse."
Gladship stuttered for a second before spitting out, "What offer?"
His voice seemed to have risen an octave.
Rodolphus leaned in closer. "Join him… or die."
Severus' gaze snapped to Rodolphus, but he showed no emotion on his face as he continued to point his wand at Gladship. His eyes moved slowly back to the quivering man on the couch. As he looked, Gladship swallowed hard and straightened somewhat on the chair. He got a determined look in his eye.
"The fool is going to talk back!" Bellatrix cackled.
Gladship cringed, but then his determination returned. "I wouldn't join him if he were the last Wizard on earth!" he spat.
"You foul creat…" Bellatrix shouted as she raised her wand.
Rodolphus grabbed her arm before she could cast a spell. "Hold on," he said. "He'll see the light."
Rabastan smirked. "Yes, it would be for the best if he did."
"Now," Rodolphus continued. "What do you have against our Lord?"
Gladship's face contorted into a sneer. "He's an evil despot!" he cried.
"He's our future!" Bellatrix cried as she pulled her wand back again only to be held back once more by her husband.
"You know," Rabastan began, "Getting in with the Dark Lord now would give you an inside track to power in the Ministry. He would be very… appreciative… of your help."
Gladship shook his head. "I don't like the benefits he offers."
Bellatrix made another move toward the wizard, but quickly was restrained a third time by Rodolphus. Severus watched her. She was unhinged. The woman was a bit of a nutter. He hoped she would control herself. He needn't have concerned himself.
Rabastan leaned forward and put his hand on Gladship's shoulder as if they were close friends, and he was giving him some advice.
"You know the alternative if you refuse, right?" he asked in a somewhat gentle manner.
"You don't have to kill me! You could just walk out the door and leave me be. If you kill me, they'll come after you."
Bellatrix laughed. "They'll have to figure out it was us first! We have ways to hide our actions, you know."
A tinge of fear came into the other man's eyes. He swallowed heavily. "I will not follow Voldemort!" he exclaimed.
"Dare you say his name?!" Bellatrix was at it again. Rodolphus almost had to wrestle her wand out of her hand.
"Patience, my love," he whispered into her ear, causing her to relax slightly.
"Last chance," Rabastan urged with an arch of his eyebrow. "If you deny him now, there's no going back. This is your opportunity to effect change!"
"I effect change already as a member of the Wizengamot. I have no interest in your idea of change."
"Tsk, tsk," Rabastan chided. "You've made the wrong decision, and now you won't effect change on anything except the ground you'll be buried in." He turned to look at his sister-in-law. "He's all yours Bellatrix."
"Please, no… there's got to be…"
"Crucio!" Bellatrix cried, effectively stopping the pleas of man on the couch.
He screamed and fell to the floor, curling into a ball as Bellatrix held the curse.
"No! Please!" he managed to cry out as she lifted the curse for a second.
He was rewarded with another Cruciatus, causing him to scream again. Severus cringed internally as he saw the man writhing on the floor. He found he needed to use his Occlumency abilities to hide his disgust at the act.
The man continued to writhe and scream.
"Oy, would you shut up!" Bella demanded. She flicked her wand, severing his tongue.
The man choked on it as blood poured from his mouth. Thankfully Severus' shields were up, or he might have literally thrown up. As it was, with his shields up, he feigned indifference and was able to pull it off.
"Finish him, Bellatrix!" Rodolphus cried.
The witch pulled her arm back slowly, glaring with a wicked grin on her face. "Avada Kedavra!" she cried and cast the curse.
The man stilled, his eyes frozen in terror as he let out his last silent scream, blood gushing from his mouth.
Bellatrix gave a disappointed whine as she gazed upon the dead man. Suddenly, she turned to Severus.
"Cast the Morsmordre, would you, pet?"
Severus woodenly cast the spell so that it hung over the home.
"Make sure we haven't left any clues as to who we are," Rabastan directed.
They scanned the room, but nothing was there that would give away just who had killed the Wizengamot member. They quickly left. The Lestranges all Disapparated, leaving Severus on the stoop.
He grit his teeth before Apparating to where the meeting had been. No one was there. Evidently the meeting ended when the assignments were given, and there was no reporting back. At least not tonight.
Severus Disapparated to his home, ripping his Death Eater garb off and throwing it on the floor. He rushed to the shower and scrubbed himself raw trying to get the ugly feeling that had come over him to disappear. He wasn't successful.
The next day, the Lestranges and Severus were summoned to the Dark Lord's side. Severus entered the salon where the Dark Lord sat on a throne-like chair.
"Well?" Voldemort asked.
"He's dead," Rabastan said blandly.
Rage filled the Dark Lord's face. "I know he's dead. It's all over the Prophet. Why didn't you turn him to our side?"
Bellatrix slinked up to him and placed her hand on his arm. Voldemort's eyes narrowed as he glared at the offending appendage.
"We tried, my Lord. He was stubborn and wouldn't turn. We had to kill him," she explained.
Voldemort pulled his arm from her grasp. "You obviously weren't persuasive enough! Crucio!"
His first curse struck Bellatrix and she crumpled to the ground. Severus was frozen in his place. He knew he couldn't avoid the curse that was to come. He was the next one to receive the curse, followed by Rabastan and Rodolphus, but he didn't notice because the curse was agony, and he was fighting not to pass out.
Voldemort towered over the four writhing bodies on the floor.
"Next time, follow orders!" he hissed before stalking out of the room.
It took Severus a while before he felt he was able to get off the floor. He made it to his knees and noticed that Rabastan had passed out. Bellatrix had disappeared, and Rodolphus was getting to his feet. Severus and he momentarily made eye contact. Rodolphus broke it first and stalked out of the room. Severus struggled to walk; he was still in so much pain.
Finally, he made it to the door and outside. Turning halfheartedly, he Apparated back to his flat, nearly splinching himself. Stumbling to the sofa, he collapsed into it, breathing heavily. He curled into a ball, lying on the sofa while trying to catch his breath.
He couldn't understand what had just happened. They had done as asked, but the Dark Lord punished them nonetheless. The smooth exterior that Severus had come to know from the Dark Lord had disappeared. He'd been almost maniacal in his dealing out curses to all of them.
He'd seemed so charismatic when Severus had taken the Mark and since then. He had felt that the man was a mentor. But this evening's version of the man had been bizarre and frightening.
Severus wondered if all the kindness had been an act, and that this was his first glimpse of the real Voldemort.
Three weeks had passed, and three other raids had occurred. He had been excused from the second one, as the Dark Lord had ordered him to brew some potions for him, but the other two weeks had involved raids where they had burned down a storefront and collapsed a dance hall filled with Muggles, killing many.
Once again, Severus had been paired with the Lestranges, and they had been sent out by the Dark Lord. This time, however, there wasn't a specific target. Nothing specific had been said, but the words of Voldemort to "Teach the Muggles another lesson" had sent the group to the heart of London.
They appeared in a less crowded area of the city and Rodolphus had immediate stunned the first Muggle they had seen alone. They'd dragged the woman to an alley and hit her with a Silencing Charm, and the Cruciatus curse was held on her for a while as she silently screamed.
They left her in the alley and searched out another victim. Person after person was treated the same way until the last of twenty victims. This one, another woman, received the same Cruciatus curse, but then Rabastan grabbed her by the hair, pulling her to her feet.
He looked at Severus as he held the woman's face close to his.
"Go ahead, Snape. End her!"
Severus turned whiter than he normally was. Beginning to stutter, he looked wildly between the three Lestranges. Bellatrix sauntered over to him.
"He's just a baby. He's too afraid to…" She drew near to Severus, her nose almost touching his. "Kill," she finished with an evil smirk.
Turning quickly, she shot the killing curse at the woman. Severus watched the life drain from her face as she slumped to the ground in death. Bellatrix turned back to Severus.
"That's how it's done, little boy," she snarled. "Now go home and make sure you can do this in the future!"
Severus nervously nodded his head and Disapparated immediately. Appearing in front of his flat, he immediately bent over and threw up. He stayed there for a few minutes, vomiting over and over again. When he finally felt he was able to stand up straight, he vanished the mess in front of him and weakly entered his flat.
Once again, he lay on his sofa, wondering what he'd gotten himself into. He wasn't a murderer, and that's exactly what he had been expected to do. The other raids… he hadn't been asked to actually kill anyone. Destroying buildings with people in them had a sort of disengagement to it. He could justify his actions then. But to strike one down with his own wand… with his own Killing Curse. He began to shake. He was not that kind of wizard. He didn't think he'd ever be that kind of wizard.
He closed his eyes in misery. How could this be? He'd spoken to people about joining the Death Eaters. No one had said anything about torturing and killing people!
Avery had tried, though, hadn't he? He'd said he'd taken a vow, and now Severus had taken that vow as well. He wouldn't be able to discuss this with anyone outside the Death Eater organization, and he'd found out in the last couple of weeks, no one was willing to speak about it within the group either. Everyone just sucked it up and did what they were told.
He felt cheated and deceived. Because of the unspoken credo to not discuss anything about meetings, he'd made a terrible mistake. It would take years to rise in ranks with the organization. He wasn't sure how he'd escape having to murder anyone. It seemed like that was an everyday thing. Perhaps if he was paired with a different group? The Lestranges seemed to have an enjoyment for bloodlust.
Severus slowly sat up. He rubbed his temples as he mulled over his new life. It wasn't what he'd signed up for, but it was his life now. He would need to make the best of it and find some alliances within the group. Hopefully, he could avoid having to do something horrendous. He'd need to keep his head down and hope the Dark Lord wouldn't expect something horrid from him.
His fingers grasped his hair in frustration. This wasn't what he'd wanted. His life had been unbearable before, and he'd hoped his entrance into the Death Eater organization would change that. Oh, his life would change all right… but not in any way that he wanted. He'd gone from one miserable existence to another. He couldn't escape this…. He was stuck in lifelong servitude to a madman.