Money causes lots of problems
About 5-years ago my grandpa was in a bad motor vehicle accident involving a car going 90mph hitting him head-on while he was riding his motorcycle. He died on the scene from a severe skull fracture to the back of his head, but God gave him his life back after the paramedics walked away from him to treat the other patients. No one was around, it was no ones "skill" in paramedi-science, God just decided his job wasn't done yet and sent his spirit back into his body. He spent several weeks in the Intensive Care Unit's in two different hospitals and was home and functioning relatively normally within 6-weeks. Yeah. You noticed the length of time too eh? No shit Sherlock, he was home and functioning in 6-weeks; God just decided he needed to be home I guess.
Because of the accident, they were awarded a large amount from the insurance for compensation of damages to his motorcycle, emotional and physical injuries etc. and were wise with their money, investing half in the stock market and keeping half for "spending cash". They have received a monthly balance sheet ever since, and have the stock's pay outs automatically deposited. Since then they've been able to re-invest, and have been required to open multiple bank accounts because the banks have limits on how much each account can hold by law.
As the years have gone on, my grandmother has become increasingly "difficult", and we in the family who're familiar with dementia and alzheimers are really beginning to wonder if she doesn't have something wrong in that area, but another factor is she likes to drink diet soda's so her memory issues could be attributed to this fact to some extent because of the aspertane but she is also a bit on the weird and whacky side to begin with.
Because they have money some of us in the family have been forced to borrow money from them for this or that. My brother bought his car through them for example; but they (grandma) have different attitudes toward each of us... so where-as she was welcoming toward my brother, she looks at my arrival with dread anymore. Not necessarily due to my asking for money all the time, I've only genuinely asked for money one time, she's offered several times but I never asked for that money and it was my understanding that it was not to be paid back, which is probably still true, but my parents have needed to borrow money for this or that several times over the years, and they always pay it back promptly, and always with interest.
The point of all that background stuff to help you understand whats going on is this: My brothers and I all get paid the same amounts; exactly equal, and we all have our own bills to pay, some more than others and Matt has been able to scrimp and save a lot more than the rest of us so he has more possessions that are actually paid for and his clean and clear. Tractors, pick-up trucks, firearms, etc. He is the redneck country boy everyone thinks of when they hear redneck country boy.
Ever since the accident grandpa hasn't been "all there". He's missing memories, doesn't have the dexterity he used to have and his strength is failing (which is kind of a big deal for him) among other things, so Matt goes over almost every day to give him a hand. Matt being 6'6, 260lbs and built like a lumberjack, is as strong as two men and works 3 times harder. He's up at 04:00 every day and doesnt stop working all day except to eat (he eats enough for 6 men) and has so many projects going on that he's constantly thinking about "the next thing". He generally hits the pillow at 23:00 every night, sometimes sooner or later so he averages about 4-hours of sleep for sure, sometimes more if it's the weekend.
Grandpa has come to depend on Matt being around, so he'll wait until Matt arrives home from work (with me) before starting any large projects that he might not be able to handle on his own. Matt got sick awhile ago, and then his phone broke so grandpa didn't have a way to get a hold of him. Wow you'd have thought the world ended the way Matt moped around...
On a daily basis Matt is armed with a K-Bar, an uloo (a round Alaskan skinning knife), a bowie knife, a pocket knife and a leather man and at least one rifle, up to 3. Those of us in the immediate family don't even think about it, we're just used to it, his firearms lay all over the house, the dining room table is always covered in some form of firearms equipment... its just the way it is and we all let it go at that because it's the way Matt is... he's always been one to be over-prepared for situations, even when he was a toddler he would "hoard" things; food, toys etc. so he would "always be prepared". Not to mention how the rest of us walk around... I personally walk around every day with multiple weapons hidden on my person.
Regardless that Matt helps grandpa with all sorts of things, my grandma felt it was her "duty" to yell at my mother (yet again) informing her that she is a bad parent, that she should be ashamed of herself for allowing her "19-year old to walk around and behave the way he does." I have no fucking clue what the fuck that even means!!! My mother, and Dad, are EXCELLENT parents... and I dare my grandmother to go blow for blow with my mother because although mom has twice as many kids as grandma, all of moms kids adore her... unlike grandma's kids! Grandma is the evil witch in our family and we all dance around her.
For years my grandmother has felt it her duty to express her opinions on things that were truly none of her business, butting into private family business on the grounds of "helping". She even went so far as to inform my dad that he should get the sterilization procedure done at Steven's birth, how it should be done, when it should be done. Immediately after my parents 2nd child was born she sought dad out, didn't even wait for him to hold his new son before going to him and telling him "Since we're here you should go up to the 4th floor and have the procedure done right now!! You don't want to have any "accidents" do you?" (now this is dads mother-in-law mind you)... I would have been completely offended... and since I have a mother-in-law from hell at times I can relate on some level but if my husbands mother ever did something like that I would tell her to go to hell and she knows it.
When I explained all of this to Devon after coming home from California (I knew we wouldn't be around her so it wouldn't matter much till we were home). Devon didn't understand initially, but he definitely understands now!! Apparently she has been doing her "magic" on him too... informing him he is worthless, needs to get a job, should be ashamed for not being a good provider for me, should be ashamed for even THINKING of asking me to support us... the list goes on and on... I didn't know any of this, and Devon isn't one to just take crap off people ever since the Marines, but on the one hand it puts us both into a difficult situation because I had to borrow $1600 from my grandparents to pay off my insurance deductible on my car. So it would seem that due to my need for that money she has felt it her right to inform us, but specifically him, of what she thinks on the issues from her perspective.
My grandmother grandparents no one will ever understand what we've gone through, what it's like to have anxiety episodes every day, to be out of control of your own body, to be unable to pull yourself down from freaking out, to wake up so terrified out of your mind that all you can do is try to breathe and pray that your wife or husband (since I am now showing anxiety as well) is there and can help you talk yourself down.
For his birthday, everyone in the family came together and bought him a collectable edition .22 lever action rifle. It generally runs $700 - $800, but with grandpa's discount we got it for less. He needs to go to the doctor, but shooting his gun genuinely helps him. It helps pull him back into balance, helps him calm down and breath, helps him to keep things in perspective... and although at the time I thought a .22 was too small, I have since realized that it was a wise decision to get him a rifle of such a low caliber because it is cheap ammo, and he can shoot to his little hearts content, within reason.
Grandmother decided that it was her job to force him to go to the doctor... so she tried to take his rifle back!! Oh. My. Gosh. I cannot tell you in words how angry that made me... I interceded and it never came to that, and she never was so foolish as to go to him herself... he'd have probably had it out with her. There was an incident where grandmother over-stepped her bounds, again, yelled at Kacey, (his sister) and hurt Kacey's feelings, made her cry, along with an incident hurting MY feelings also resulting in tears... between those two incidents... then the incident this morning resulting in mom crying, and my mother never cries, along with everything else that has happened the situation is becoming very... volatile.
Someday soon... someone is going to lose it on her... and I think it is either going to be my mother, my mother or my mother. Since it's her mom, we're all trying to keep our noses out, and hold our tongues. That combined with the fact she's specifically asked that we leave grandmother alone... which wont be hard for most of us except Matt, and he's not around her that much, he's around grandfather more than grandmother... one of these days though its gonna explode and man oh man I'm gonna sell popcorn and riot shields! LOL BRING IT ON!!! Omigosh this woman is driving me crazy... she needs to learn to keep her mouth shut.