Some Crossfire and general Smallville meta
I feel like lj is really a more appropriate place for meta than tumblr, so I'm going to repost what I said earlier here.
I was liveblogging the episode Crossfire and had to pause my DVD after the two scenes in the Ace of Clubs, the scenes covering Lois' date, in order to write about my feelings on the scene, which follow:
Ooooh, Lois’ blind date scene. There is nothing about this that isn’t perfect. Yes, the flirting at the beginning is absolutely wonderful, and Clark’s finally on his game, complimenting Lois, keeping up with the banter. But it gets better from there.
I love the contrast here; I love how Ollie is all smooth talk and smiles, but it’s clear that he’s actually being extremely self centered. He skips all the supposed reasons he loves Lois and essentially just says “I love you because *I* love you.” And Clark, when put on the spot as to what’s lovable about Lois earlier, blanked out on just what to say, but it’s clear that it’s not because it’s hard for him to think of anything, but because it’s hard for him to not think of everything. She’s…Lois. How can he just spout off examples of why someone should love her when there’s nothing about her he doesn’t love? He loves that she’s teasing him about the date, he loves that she’s lying on her form, he loves that she likes movies and beer and monster trucks instead of theater and champagne. He loves her with a sincerity that Ollie lacks.
Ollie, he’s just here for his own satisfaction, basically risking her new job in the process because he’s only thinking of what he needs. Lois reacts absolutely perfectly,though; She’s not going to be with Ollie in a misguided attempt to try and heal him. That would be disingenuous and she has too much self respect for that. She loves Clark, she makes that clear, but she’s not going to let her friend spiral downward as a result of her rejection, either.
And Clark, oh Clark, he’s such a wonderful emotional idiot, he doesn’t understand what’s happening. Lois’ clear signals from before have completely left his mind; all he can think about is that Lois and Ollie did love each other once, and he’s been there. He couldn’t blame her for going back to that love she once had, even though Clark and Lois were on the brink of a breakthrough in their relationship, because those old relationships are familiar and easy, and maybe Lois wants that, and maybe Ollie needs that. Poor, wonderful, Clark, this is his Bride moment, the moment where he thinks that he could have what he wants most only to see it slip away. But like Lois didn’t follow him in Bride, he doesn’t follow her, because who is he to stop her from being with Ollie if that’s what she wants? But he doesn’t like it. His face shows that. This hurts him, but he cares more about how Lois feels than about how he feels.
But then, of course, we get to the end of the episode, and he stops making assumptions and puts himself all the way out there. Lois could be with Ollie, he doesn’t know, but if she’s going to make that choice, he’s going to make sure it’s only after he’s completely played his hand. No more mixed signals. No more “hypothetically speakings” or “like a dates” or “if I askeds.” He wants to tell her on no uncertain terms what he wants and then let her decided but she just won’t stop talking and he can’t help himself and oh - that kiss.
Guuuh, I just love this episode.
...after I posted that, someone replied with the following:
This^^ so much win…personally I believe that Lois suffered so much more than Clark did in his ‘bride’ moment, and it’s kind of unfair but I see how it parallel’s with what Lois went through.
So I had some more to say on that:
Yeah, but here’s the thing - this is love, and love is not a balance sheet. I am not of the camp that thinks that Clark should have had to suffer the same amount Lois suffered before they could get together. Because you know, that’s never going to balance out. Drawing it out so that Clark hurts as long as she did? That’s going to hurt Lois too. Yes, the whole post-Bride mess was tough on Lois, and Clark made mistakes. But the best way for him to make up for those mistakes is to make Lois happy, by being with her and loving her with all his heart, not to partake of any self-flagellatory angst.
Because you don’t earn love; not by suffering, not by waiting, not by spending money, not by anything. It’s a gift you’re given and a gift you give. Love isn’t something that’s “fair.” Thinking of love as something that’s “fair” by the standards of other competitions or whatever is what leads to Nice Guys and the idea of owing someone sex for ____ and people being bitter and angry because the object of their affection should love them because they have done everything right. It makes love into a transaction. And I can’t abide that.
Love isn’t about fairness, or an equal exchange of favors. Falling in love isn’t something you choose to do to reward a person for good behavior. It’s an emotion, a feeling, a need to be with a person, to make them happy, to touch and be touched, physically and spiritually. It’s something you can’t fully control, though you have to make an effort to keep it alive and healthy. And keeping it alive and healthy does not mean misguidedly trying to “earn” your lover’s love by suffering for their sake. Lovers across history may suffer for each other, they may die for each other, they may wait for each other, they may shower each other with gifts…but if it’s really love, they do these things because of the love that is already there, not because they are trying to earn love; they do those things because love bids them do so, and they can’t help but do them even without the hope of reward. They may wish for their love to be returned, but they do not expect it, not as a payment for their actions.
You have to work to keep love alive and healthy, but you do that by loving, by not taking love for granted, by spending time with your love, by making sure they know how much you care for them. And if you have hurt someone you love, as Clark hurt Lois without fully realizing it, it’s not being by yourself and suffering that will make it better. That’s isolating and selfish and easy. Easy because you don’t have to actually face the hurt in their eyes. Selfish for the same reason. And that’s not going to help anyone. You heal that hurt by acknowledging it, and apologizing, and moving forward in love, not by compounding the pain of everyone involved by drawing everyone’s suffering out more and more.
Wow that spun a bit out of control. lol sorry to go off on a ramble there, this is just another one of those subjects I have a lot of feelings~ about - across fandoms, too.
And now I'm done for the night. :P
I was liveblogging the episode Crossfire and had to pause my DVD after the two scenes in the Ace of Clubs, the scenes covering Lois' date, in order to write about my feelings on the scene, which follow:
Ooooh, Lois’ blind date scene. There is nothing about this that isn’t perfect. Yes, the flirting at the beginning is absolutely wonderful, and Clark’s finally on his game, complimenting Lois, keeping up with the banter. But it gets better from there.
I love the contrast here; I love how Ollie is all smooth talk and smiles, but it’s clear that he’s actually being extremely self centered. He skips all the supposed reasons he loves Lois and essentially just says “I love you because *I* love you.” And Clark, when put on the spot as to what’s lovable about Lois earlier, blanked out on just what to say, but it’s clear that it’s not because it’s hard for him to think of anything, but because it’s hard for him to not think of everything. She’s…Lois. How can he just spout off examples of why someone should love her when there’s nothing about her he doesn’t love? He loves that she’s teasing him about the date, he loves that she’s lying on her form, he loves that she likes movies and beer and monster trucks instead of theater and champagne. He loves her with a sincerity that Ollie lacks.
Ollie, he’s just here for his own satisfaction, basically risking her new job in the process because he’s only thinking of what he needs. Lois reacts absolutely perfectly,though; She’s not going to be with Ollie in a misguided attempt to try and heal him. That would be disingenuous and she has too much self respect for that. She loves Clark, she makes that clear, but she’s not going to let her friend spiral downward as a result of her rejection, either.
And Clark, oh Clark, he’s such a wonderful emotional idiot, he doesn’t understand what’s happening. Lois’ clear signals from before have completely left his mind; all he can think about is that Lois and Ollie did love each other once, and he’s been there. He couldn’t blame her for going back to that love she once had, even though Clark and Lois were on the brink of a breakthrough in their relationship, because those old relationships are familiar and easy, and maybe Lois wants that, and maybe Ollie needs that. Poor, wonderful, Clark, this is his Bride moment, the moment where he thinks that he could have what he wants most only to see it slip away. But like Lois didn’t follow him in Bride, he doesn’t follow her, because who is he to stop her from being with Ollie if that’s what she wants? But he doesn’t like it. His face shows that. This hurts him, but he cares more about how Lois feels than about how he feels.
But then, of course, we get to the end of the episode, and he stops making assumptions and puts himself all the way out there. Lois could be with Ollie, he doesn’t know, but if she’s going to make that choice, he’s going to make sure it’s only after he’s completely played his hand. No more mixed signals. No more “hypothetically speakings” or “like a dates” or “if I askeds.” He wants to tell her on no uncertain terms what he wants and then let her decided but she just won’t stop talking and he can’t help himself and oh - that kiss.
Guuuh, I just love this episode.
...after I posted that, someone replied with the following:
This^^ so much win…personally I believe that Lois suffered so much more than Clark did in his ‘bride’ moment, and it’s kind of unfair but I see how it parallel’s with what Lois went through.
So I had some more to say on that:
Yeah, but here’s the thing - this is love, and love is not a balance sheet. I am not of the camp that thinks that Clark should have had to suffer the same amount Lois suffered before they could get together. Because you know, that’s never going to balance out. Drawing it out so that Clark hurts as long as she did? That’s going to hurt Lois too. Yes, the whole post-Bride mess was tough on Lois, and Clark made mistakes. But the best way for him to make up for those mistakes is to make Lois happy, by being with her and loving her with all his heart, not to partake of any self-flagellatory angst.
Because you don’t earn love; not by suffering, not by waiting, not by spending money, not by anything. It’s a gift you’re given and a gift you give. Love isn’t something that’s “fair.” Thinking of love as something that’s “fair” by the standards of other competitions or whatever is what leads to Nice Guys and the idea of owing someone sex for ____ and people being bitter and angry because the object of their affection should love them because they have done everything right. It makes love into a transaction. And I can’t abide that.
Love isn’t about fairness, or an equal exchange of favors. Falling in love isn’t something you choose to do to reward a person for good behavior. It’s an emotion, a feeling, a need to be with a person, to make them happy, to touch and be touched, physically and spiritually. It’s something you can’t fully control, though you have to make an effort to keep it alive and healthy. And keeping it alive and healthy does not mean misguidedly trying to “earn” your lover’s love by suffering for their sake. Lovers across history may suffer for each other, they may die for each other, they may wait for each other, they may shower each other with gifts…but if it’s really love, they do these things because of the love that is already there, not because they are trying to earn love; they do those things because love bids them do so, and they can’t help but do them even without the hope of reward. They may wish for their love to be returned, but they do not expect it, not as a payment for their actions.
You have to work to keep love alive and healthy, but you do that by loving, by not taking love for granted, by spending time with your love, by making sure they know how much you care for them. And if you have hurt someone you love, as Clark hurt Lois without fully realizing it, it’s not being by yourself and suffering that will make it better. That’s isolating and selfish and easy. Easy because you don’t have to actually face the hurt in their eyes. Selfish for the same reason. And that’s not going to help anyone. You heal that hurt by acknowledging it, and apologizing, and moving forward in love, not by compounding the pain of everyone involved by drawing everyone’s suffering out more and more.
Wow that spun a bit out of control. lol sorry to go off on a ramble there, this is just another one of those subjects I have a lot of feelings~ about - across fandoms, too.
And now I'm done for the night. :P