TaekJay: And It Goes Around...
Title: And It Goes Around...
Rating: PG-13
Fandom: 2PM
Pairing: Taekyeon/Jaebum
Word Count: 2,705
Summary: They've known each other for what seems like eternity.
Notes: thanks to mandarinorange for being fan-fucking-tastic beta ♥ seriously, this isn't the same fic that left her hands. also thank you to vivamandashii for their hand holding during the rough bumps ♥
and it goes around...
The first time he meets the other boy it’s in the dance studio of the JYPE building. The trainees are scattered everywhere into groups depending on age, gender and obviously talent. Taekyeon notices him because he stands out - it’s obvious from the way he holds himself. His walk is different from the others, his mannerisms are straightforward; there’s no hiding behind a polite mask because it’s mandatory.
Taekyeon decides to introduce himself to him because the misfits group hasn’t been formed yet. He doesn’t understand why he’s nervous as he walks up to him, why his palms gets all sweaty all of a sudden, why his heart rate speeds up more than what’s necessary.
“Hi, my name is Ok Taekyeon,” he says and suddenly regrets it.
This other boy looks at him through squinted eyes, his jaw clenches slightly as he takes in Taekyeon’s appearance. Taekyeon suddenly feels like there’s loser stamped on his forehead in big, bolded font.
The boy nods his head. “Hi, my name is Park Jaebum.”
The awkward silence creeps up on them faster than Taekyeon expected. So, he tries to make conversation. It fails.
“What did you do in your audition to get into JYPE?”
Jaebum stares at Taekyeon with a blank expression on his face, his eyebrows coming together slowly in what looks like confusion.
“I… uhm … fuck.”
Taekyeon’s surprised when he hears English, especially a swear word. Taekyeon watches as Jaebum struggles internally for the right words to come out of his mouth, to find the right switch in his brain that connects English and Korean together - Taekyeon understands.
“I speak English too,” Taekyeon tells him, smiles wide as he pushes his glasses back up the bridge of his nose. “So, you’re from America?”
And this is how the band of misfits form - the Korean Nerd and the Second Generation American.
Taekyeon thinks it’s crazy how it feels like he’s known Jaebum for more than a lifetime. He doesn’t know how it’s possible how he knows Jaebum’s pet peeves, quirks - (cringes his face when he doesn’t understand, licks his lips constantly when he’s nervous) before he gets the chance to see for himself.
Maybe, Taekyeon thinks too much.
Joseon Dynasty: The King and the Clown
“I’m bored,” the King states one day during court - and in the middle of a performance, no less. He hears the Ministers cluck their tongues in disapproval, a few agreeing with him while the rest have a mild panic attack.
“Your highness,” the Minister of Finance says beside him - Jaebum thinks his name is Wooyoung, he’s not sure - “we’ve tried hard to get these performers from the North to get here. Please, just wait this out for a little while longer.”
Jaebum sighs loudly, clearly displeased and leans his head against his arm in pure and utter boredom. He’s about two seconds away from yelling for these idiotic performers to be executed because he’s bored out of his mind. Yet, he holds back, just for a little while. And as the performance drags on, Jaebum’s eyes start to close on him and he figures, enough is enough.
“I’m leaving.” He gets up from his throne and the Ministers and the Nobles at court look around at each other, distressed and confused. His servants rush to their feet, following him with the sun umbrella as he stalks to the entrance of the palace.
“Sire,” Wooyoung calls, running to catch up with him, “Sire, you can’t just leave in the middle of a performance!”
Jaebum stops walking instantly, turns around to glare at him. “Yes, actually, I can.” He eyes the other Ministers who’ve stopped in their tracks and are now bowing their heads to avoid his glare. “I am the King and if the King is bored, then so is everyone else.”
“I … I understand, your highness.” Wooyoung nods his head, sighing. “What would you like me to do with them?”
Jaebum wants to say throw them in a fire but he knows that he’ll wake up the next day feeling slightly regretful about it. So, instead he says, “Just kick them out of the palace.”
“Yes, your highness,” Wooyoung says as he bows, before turning around to leave.
“Wait-” Jaebum calls out.
“Yes?”
“I want different entertainers for tonight after dinner.”
“Yes, sire.”
“If they’re boring-”
“They won’t be,” Wooyoung says hurriedly. “I promise.”
“Good.”
*
Jaebum is sitting on his throne again, his head propped up by his hand, already bored. Obviously, he can’t rely on his stupid Ministers to find some decent entertainment for him. The only things that are keeping him entertained are the torches burning beside him. Just when he’s about to storm out once again, possibly yell out for their execution he notices something among the clowns. It’s a guy - he’s tall, has short hair with his ears protruding from it. He gets more intrigued as this guy gets on the thin rope line and starts jumping on it, starts cackling like a madman as he tells sexual jokes-he told her to ride his horse-that have tears coming from the corners of Jaebum’s eyes.
Once their number is finished, Jaebum is on his feet giving a standing ovation. Jaebum is so excited that he runs down the stone steps from where his throne is, to the center of the open stage. He approaches the tall clown who backs away from him slightly, bowing his head.
“You,” Jaebum says pointing, “what is your name?”
The clown’s head shoots up, he stares at Jaebum - looks him directly in the eyes. Jaebum raises his eyebrows, smirking as the clown looks away again in obvious fear.
“I asked for your name, clown.” Jaebum pretends he’s angry, but he really isn’t. He’s secretly enjoying the way the clown is cowering.
“Ok Taekyeon,” he says hurriedly and then bows again. “It’s Ok Taekyeon, sire.”
Jaebum can’t hide his grin any longer. “You, Ok Taekyeon the Clown, will be my personal entertainer from now on!”
*
Jaebum has Taekyeon come to his quarters daily to play with him after dinner. Taekyeon and his band of clowns entertain the court after lunch and during tea. Once night has settled in the candles are lit in the King’s room, and through the shoji doors Jaebum and Taekyeon’s shadows can be seen.
At first it starts off innocent - playing with dolls, Taekyeon telling jokes that has Jaebum foaming at the mouth in laughter. One night, Jaebum throws the dolls on the floor and knocks down the miniature stage he and Taekyeon made two weeks ago. His lips twitch, looking at Taekyeon through hooded eyes.
Taekyeon is scared but says nothing and awaits Jaebum’s next orders. Jaebum is leaning against the wall next to his bed and beckons Taekyeon closer with the crook of his finger; satisfied when the clown rushes over.
“Come closer,” Jaebum whispers.
“This is as close as I can go, sire,” Taekyeon says softly, insecurity laced into his voice and posture.
Jaebum sits up right, takes a hold of Taekyeon’s hand and drags him so he’s pressed close to his body. Jaebum isn’t sure of what he’s doing, not sure why his hand is reaching into the opening of Taekyeon’s robes, while his other hand is untying the sash that holds the robes together. He hears Taekyeon breathing heavily and knows that Taekyeon won’t deny him this - whatever this is.
“Your highness,” Taekyeon whispers, voice shaking, “what - what are you doing?”
“Ssh.” Jaebum’s face draws near to Taekyeon’s, lips inching dangerously close and Taekyeon’s eyes drift closed. Jaebum closes the space between them, entertains the little jump inside of him only for a moment before squashing it down completely.
*
Jaebum wakes up with whispers in his ear, kisses hastily scattered all over his face. Opening his eyes wearily, he’s surprised to see the outline of Taekyeon’s body contorted by shadows.
“Taekyeon?” he says and starts to sit up. “What are you doing here? Light a candle-”
“I’m sorry, your highness, but I can’t.” Taekyeon’s voice shakes when he sees Jaebum’s head snap towards him. Despite the darkness, he can see Jaebum’s eyes narrow.
“Taekyeon, I am your King-”
“Sire, I’m leaving the palace,” Taekyeon tells him hurriedly.
“You’re what?” Jaebum gets out of bed quickly, trying to look for a match to light this damned candle.
“Sire, please-” Taekyeon looks around them frantically - “no one can know that we’re leaving and-”
“Then why are you telling me? Why are you leaving me!”
Taekyeon wets his lips, grinds his teeth, looking away from Jaebum.
“Taekyeon?” Jaebum reaches out and snatches at Taekyeon’s wrist, pulling him forward.
“Taekyeon?”
“I just-” Taekyeon tears his eyes away from the floor to look at Jaebum. “I … the others are leaving, too. I have to leave with them.”
“No, you’re not leaving. This is ridiculous! Absolutely ridiculous!”
“I have to-”
“As your King, Taekyeon, I order you to stay here in this palace!”
Jaebum feels Taekyeon pulling out of his hold. Just as Taekyeon is about to pull out of his hold, Jaebum grabs onto Taekyeon’s hand; his fingers slipping into the spaces between Taekyeon’s own. “I am your King, Taekyeon. I am giving you an order.”
“They are my friends.”
“You would disobey your King for your friends?”
Taekyeon nods, biting his lip. “I’m sorry.”
Before Jaebum lets out a scream of rage at his disobedience; Taekyeon pulls Jaebum closer to him, covering Jaebum’s mouth with his own. The kiss is rough, with teeth digging into lips roughly, with tongues pushing at each other for dominance and still, Jaebum is clinging onto Taekyeon. Jaebum lets go of Taekyeon’s hand, places them behind Taekyeon’s neck and pulls him closer just as Taekyeon backs away.
“I’m sorry,” Taekyeon repeats one last time before he leaves forever.
*
Korean War: Soldiers
They meet just as Taekyeon is signing in as a new recruit. The Lieutenant introduces Taekyeon to Jaebum.
“Sergeant Park,” Lieutenant Jinyoung says. “This is my nephew, Ok Taekyeon.”
Jaebum bows at the Lieutenant and nods his head at Taekyeon. “Hi.”
“Sergeant Park, I am putting my nephew under your command. Please teach him well.”
“I will try, sir.”
When Lieutenant Jinyoung leaves Jaebum with Taekyeon, Jaebum can’t help but feel uncomfortable. He looks at Taekyeon, studies his face, squints at his broad shoulders and big ears and -
“Something interesting about my face, sir?”
Jaebum just shakes his head.
*
The battle is starting, and they’re at the forefront of all the guns and the shooting but they’re hidden. They’re huddled together behind a fallen tree, exchanging ammo and giving each other pep talks.
“Okay, you take four grenades and I’ll take the rest,” Jaebum says as he gives them to Taekyeon. “I’ll go in first, okay? You stay behind me.”
Taekyeon shakes his head. “You need more grenades, you’re at the front. It doesn’t make sense if I take them.”
“No, shut up! I know what I’m doing.”
Jaebum shoves them into Taekyeon’s hands forcefully. “I’m the boss here, Taekyeon. I’ll go in first, ok? You can back me up from behind, we can do this. Together.”
Taekyeon gulps but nods his head anyway. “Ok, ok.”
“Good.”
Jaebum fixes his gun that’s slung onto his shoulder. He takes one last breath and looks at Taekyeon who has his eyes closed. Jaebum takes in this image of his friend one last time; because he’s sure it is the last time. He brings a hand down onto Taekyeon’s shoulder, squeezes it hard, comforting before rolling onto his knees.
“On the count of three.”
“One.” Taekyeon begins the countdown.
“Two.”
“Three.”
Jaebum rushes up onto his feet, adrenaline pumping into his veins as he rushes forward into the sea of bullets. He’s shooting aimlessly, he knows, but he doesn’t care. One less enemy, one less person in his way - that’s just how he thinks.
Except - he doesn’t notice the enemy soldier with the grenade in his hand, doesn’t notice until it’s too late because Taekyeon is shrieking his name, yelling to get the fuck down, Jaebum! but it’s too late.
All Jaebum can see is black.
As Little Children
Taekyeon is playing in the sandbox by himself like usual. He pushes his glasses up the bridge of his nose, plops his butt down onto the sand and continues building his sandcastle.
“Can … can I help you?”
Taekyeon looks up to see another little boy with red shorts and a yellow and black tiger t-shirt. He’s peering into the sandbox, staring at Taekyeon’s poorly built sandcastle.
“Yeah, sure!” Taekyeon exclaims and hands the other boy his extra shovel. “My name is Taekyeon.”
“I’m Jaebum.”
They build the sandcastle together, they talk about Spiderman and Batman (No way! Batman is way cooler than Spiderman, Taekyeon!), their favourite foods (…I’ve never had a hamburger before) and how old they are (I’m your hyung!), which leads to -
“Taekyeon-ah,” Jaebum says suddenly as their sandcastle is coming closer to being finished. “Don’t worry, I’ll protect you from scary things at night!” He puffs out his chest. “Just like Batman!”
*
Jaebum doesn’t come to the park the next day like he promised Taekyeon, or the day after that, or the day after that, or the day after that.
2PM - Current Stage: 1:59PM
Taekyeon isn’t sure how this is supposed to go. He’s not sure why there’s a deep pulsating pain in his chest as he says goodbye to Jaebum. He’s not sure why he has this feeling like he’s done this before, one too many times. Taekyeon wants to yell, wants to scream for him to stay in Korea, to stay because he needs him so much, so much but there’s nothing he can do about it. Taekyeon loves Jaebum like a brother, like a friend, like something much more, something much deeper - but it can’t go any farther than that.
It’s been months since he’s last seen Jaebum, months since he’s last told jokes with him, months since he’s felt the calm presence of his leader. But Taekyeon holds it all in, takes it and goes through it slowly on an hourly basis. He doesn’t show the others that he’s breaking inside because he misses Jaebum, that he’s in just as much pain as them; he doesn’t show anything.
So, when 2010 starts to ring in Taekyeon can’t help but feel cheated. It’s a start of a new year and this is the first time in five years that he’s spent it without Jaebum. He’s about this close to buying a plane ticket to Seattle just so -
The doorbell rings and Taekyeon grudgingly goes to open it, when it’s clear that no one else will.
Taekyeon thinks he’s seeing a ghost. There’s this man in front of him wearing baggy grey sweats with a baggy white tee, an Atlanta hat tilted to the side on his head. He has luggage surrounding him, which makes him look smaller than usual. Taekyeon is sure this is a ghost.
Same height, same elfish ears, same cat eyes, same everything. Taekyeon brings a hand up to Jaebum’s shoulder, squeezes it hard to make sure he’s real. When Taekyeon realises that it’s not his imagination, that he’s real, that he’s actually squeezing the life out of a human being’s shoulder he chokes up.
“I’m back,” Jaebum says softly, looks down at his sneakers, scuffing them against the hallway carpet.
“You’re back,” Taekyeon repeats. “You’re back.”
*
(There’s shrieking, tears and tackles going around when Jaebum steps through the front door with a teary-eyed Taek. There’s a space that was half-filled in his absence that struggles to be drained once it becomes official that the leader is back. There’s an unwilling power struggle in order to acknowledge his place once again.
During his absence, Jaebum realises, they’ve grown - man’d up like he’s yelled at them to, even if it had been only for jokes at the time. They’ve learnt to stand on their own, together, without their leader but never forgetting. Jaebum feels out of place all of a sudden but is quickly brought out of this as realization hits him once again.
They’ve never stopped needing him.)
*
merry christmas, everyone ♥
Rating: PG-13
Fandom: 2PM
Pairing: Taekyeon/Jaebum
Word Count: 2,705
Summary: They've known each other for what seems like eternity.
Notes: thanks to mandarinorange for being fan-fucking-tastic beta ♥ seriously, this isn't the same fic that left her hands. also thank you to vivamandashii for their hand holding during the rough bumps ♥
and it goes around...
The first time he meets the other boy it’s in the dance studio of the JYPE building. The trainees are scattered everywhere into groups depending on age, gender and obviously talent. Taekyeon notices him because he stands out - it’s obvious from the way he holds himself. His walk is different from the others, his mannerisms are straightforward; there’s no hiding behind a polite mask because it’s mandatory.
Taekyeon decides to introduce himself to him because the misfits group hasn’t been formed yet. He doesn’t understand why he’s nervous as he walks up to him, why his palms gets all sweaty all of a sudden, why his heart rate speeds up more than what’s necessary.
“Hi, my name is Ok Taekyeon,” he says and suddenly regrets it.
This other boy looks at him through squinted eyes, his jaw clenches slightly as he takes in Taekyeon’s appearance. Taekyeon suddenly feels like there’s loser stamped on his forehead in big, bolded font.
The boy nods his head. “Hi, my name is Park Jaebum.”
The awkward silence creeps up on them faster than Taekyeon expected. So, he tries to make conversation. It fails.
“What did you do in your audition to get into JYPE?”
Jaebum stares at Taekyeon with a blank expression on his face, his eyebrows coming together slowly in what looks like confusion.
“I… uhm … fuck.”
Taekyeon’s surprised when he hears English, especially a swear word. Taekyeon watches as Jaebum struggles internally for the right words to come out of his mouth, to find the right switch in his brain that connects English and Korean together - Taekyeon understands.
“I speak English too,” Taekyeon tells him, smiles wide as he pushes his glasses back up the bridge of his nose. “So, you’re from America?”
And this is how the band of misfits form - the Korean Nerd and the Second Generation American.
Taekyeon thinks it’s crazy how it feels like he’s known Jaebum for more than a lifetime. He doesn’t know how it’s possible how he knows Jaebum’s pet peeves, quirks - (cringes his face when he doesn’t understand, licks his lips constantly when he’s nervous) before he gets the chance to see for himself.
Maybe, Taekyeon thinks too much.
Joseon Dynasty: The King and the Clown
“I’m bored,” the King states one day during court - and in the middle of a performance, no less. He hears the Ministers cluck their tongues in disapproval, a few agreeing with him while the rest have a mild panic attack.
“Your highness,” the Minister of Finance says beside him - Jaebum thinks his name is Wooyoung, he’s not sure - “we’ve tried hard to get these performers from the North to get here. Please, just wait this out for a little while longer.”
Jaebum sighs loudly, clearly displeased and leans his head against his arm in pure and utter boredom. He’s about two seconds away from yelling for these idiotic performers to be executed because he’s bored out of his mind. Yet, he holds back, just for a little while. And as the performance drags on, Jaebum’s eyes start to close on him and he figures, enough is enough.
“I’m leaving.” He gets up from his throne and the Ministers and the Nobles at court look around at each other, distressed and confused. His servants rush to their feet, following him with the sun umbrella as he stalks to the entrance of the palace.
“Sire,” Wooyoung calls, running to catch up with him, “Sire, you can’t just leave in the middle of a performance!”
Jaebum stops walking instantly, turns around to glare at him. “Yes, actually, I can.” He eyes the other Ministers who’ve stopped in their tracks and are now bowing their heads to avoid his glare. “I am the King and if the King is bored, then so is everyone else.”
“I … I understand, your highness.” Wooyoung nods his head, sighing. “What would you like me to do with them?”
Jaebum wants to say throw them in a fire but he knows that he’ll wake up the next day feeling slightly regretful about it. So, instead he says, “Just kick them out of the palace.”
“Yes, your highness,” Wooyoung says as he bows, before turning around to leave.
“Wait-” Jaebum calls out.
“Yes?”
“I want different entertainers for tonight after dinner.”
“Yes, sire.”
“If they’re boring-”
“They won’t be,” Wooyoung says hurriedly. “I promise.”
“Good.”
*
Jaebum is sitting on his throne again, his head propped up by his hand, already bored. Obviously, he can’t rely on his stupid Ministers to find some decent entertainment for him. The only things that are keeping him entertained are the torches burning beside him. Just when he’s about to storm out once again, possibly yell out for their execution he notices something among the clowns. It’s a guy - he’s tall, has short hair with his ears protruding from it. He gets more intrigued as this guy gets on the thin rope line and starts jumping on it, starts cackling like a madman as he tells sexual jokes-he told her to ride his horse-that have tears coming from the corners of Jaebum’s eyes.
Once their number is finished, Jaebum is on his feet giving a standing ovation. Jaebum is so excited that he runs down the stone steps from where his throne is, to the center of the open stage. He approaches the tall clown who backs away from him slightly, bowing his head.
“You,” Jaebum says pointing, “what is your name?”
The clown’s head shoots up, he stares at Jaebum - looks him directly in the eyes. Jaebum raises his eyebrows, smirking as the clown looks away again in obvious fear.
“I asked for your name, clown.” Jaebum pretends he’s angry, but he really isn’t. He’s secretly enjoying the way the clown is cowering.
“Ok Taekyeon,” he says hurriedly and then bows again. “It’s Ok Taekyeon, sire.”
Jaebum can’t hide his grin any longer. “You, Ok Taekyeon the Clown, will be my personal entertainer from now on!”
*
Jaebum has Taekyeon come to his quarters daily to play with him after dinner. Taekyeon and his band of clowns entertain the court after lunch and during tea. Once night has settled in the candles are lit in the King’s room, and through the shoji doors Jaebum and Taekyeon’s shadows can be seen.
At first it starts off innocent - playing with dolls, Taekyeon telling jokes that has Jaebum foaming at the mouth in laughter. One night, Jaebum throws the dolls on the floor and knocks down the miniature stage he and Taekyeon made two weeks ago. His lips twitch, looking at Taekyeon through hooded eyes.
Taekyeon is scared but says nothing and awaits Jaebum’s next orders. Jaebum is leaning against the wall next to his bed and beckons Taekyeon closer with the crook of his finger; satisfied when the clown rushes over.
“Come closer,” Jaebum whispers.
“This is as close as I can go, sire,” Taekyeon says softly, insecurity laced into his voice and posture.
Jaebum sits up right, takes a hold of Taekyeon’s hand and drags him so he’s pressed close to his body. Jaebum isn’t sure of what he’s doing, not sure why his hand is reaching into the opening of Taekyeon’s robes, while his other hand is untying the sash that holds the robes together. He hears Taekyeon breathing heavily and knows that Taekyeon won’t deny him this - whatever this is.
“Your highness,” Taekyeon whispers, voice shaking, “what - what are you doing?”
“Ssh.” Jaebum’s face draws near to Taekyeon’s, lips inching dangerously close and Taekyeon’s eyes drift closed. Jaebum closes the space between them, entertains the little jump inside of him only for a moment before squashing it down completely.
*
Jaebum wakes up with whispers in his ear, kisses hastily scattered all over his face. Opening his eyes wearily, he’s surprised to see the outline of Taekyeon’s body contorted by shadows.
“Taekyeon?” he says and starts to sit up. “What are you doing here? Light a candle-”
“I’m sorry, your highness, but I can’t.” Taekyeon’s voice shakes when he sees Jaebum’s head snap towards him. Despite the darkness, he can see Jaebum’s eyes narrow.
“Taekyeon, I am your King-”
“Sire, I’m leaving the palace,” Taekyeon tells him hurriedly.
“You’re what?” Jaebum gets out of bed quickly, trying to look for a match to light this damned candle.
“Sire, please-” Taekyeon looks around them frantically - “no one can know that we’re leaving and-”
“Then why are you telling me? Why are you leaving me!”
Taekyeon wets his lips, grinds his teeth, looking away from Jaebum.
“Taekyeon?” Jaebum reaches out and snatches at Taekyeon’s wrist, pulling him forward.
“Taekyeon?”
“I just-” Taekyeon tears his eyes away from the floor to look at Jaebum. “I … the others are leaving, too. I have to leave with them.”
“No, you’re not leaving. This is ridiculous! Absolutely ridiculous!”
“I have to-”
“As your King, Taekyeon, I order you to stay here in this palace!”
Jaebum feels Taekyeon pulling out of his hold. Just as Taekyeon is about to pull out of his hold, Jaebum grabs onto Taekyeon’s hand; his fingers slipping into the spaces between Taekyeon’s own. “I am your King, Taekyeon. I am giving you an order.”
“They are my friends.”
“You would disobey your King for your friends?”
Taekyeon nods, biting his lip. “I’m sorry.”
Before Jaebum lets out a scream of rage at his disobedience; Taekyeon pulls Jaebum closer to him, covering Jaebum’s mouth with his own. The kiss is rough, with teeth digging into lips roughly, with tongues pushing at each other for dominance and still, Jaebum is clinging onto Taekyeon. Jaebum lets go of Taekyeon’s hand, places them behind Taekyeon’s neck and pulls him closer just as Taekyeon backs away.
“I’m sorry,” Taekyeon repeats one last time before he leaves forever.
*
Korean War: Soldiers
They meet just as Taekyeon is signing in as a new recruit. The Lieutenant introduces Taekyeon to Jaebum.
“Sergeant Park,” Lieutenant Jinyoung says. “This is my nephew, Ok Taekyeon.”
Jaebum bows at the Lieutenant and nods his head at Taekyeon. “Hi.”
“Sergeant Park, I am putting my nephew under your command. Please teach him well.”
“I will try, sir.”
When Lieutenant Jinyoung leaves Jaebum with Taekyeon, Jaebum can’t help but feel uncomfortable. He looks at Taekyeon, studies his face, squints at his broad shoulders and big ears and -
“Something interesting about my face, sir?”
Jaebum just shakes his head.
*
The battle is starting, and they’re at the forefront of all the guns and the shooting but they’re hidden. They’re huddled together behind a fallen tree, exchanging ammo and giving each other pep talks.
“Okay, you take four grenades and I’ll take the rest,” Jaebum says as he gives them to Taekyeon. “I’ll go in first, okay? You stay behind me.”
Taekyeon shakes his head. “You need more grenades, you’re at the front. It doesn’t make sense if I take them.”
“No, shut up! I know what I’m doing.”
Jaebum shoves them into Taekyeon’s hands forcefully. “I’m the boss here, Taekyeon. I’ll go in first, ok? You can back me up from behind, we can do this. Together.”
Taekyeon gulps but nods his head anyway. “Ok, ok.”
“Good.”
Jaebum fixes his gun that’s slung onto his shoulder. He takes one last breath and looks at Taekyeon who has his eyes closed. Jaebum takes in this image of his friend one last time; because he’s sure it is the last time. He brings a hand down onto Taekyeon’s shoulder, squeezes it hard, comforting before rolling onto his knees.
“On the count of three.”
“One.” Taekyeon begins the countdown.
“Two.”
“Three.”
Jaebum rushes up onto his feet, adrenaline pumping into his veins as he rushes forward into the sea of bullets. He’s shooting aimlessly, he knows, but he doesn’t care. One less enemy, one less person in his way - that’s just how he thinks.
Except - he doesn’t notice the enemy soldier with the grenade in his hand, doesn’t notice until it’s too late because Taekyeon is shrieking his name, yelling to get the fuck down, Jaebum! but it’s too late.
All Jaebum can see is black.
As Little Children
Taekyeon is playing in the sandbox by himself like usual. He pushes his glasses up the bridge of his nose, plops his butt down onto the sand and continues building his sandcastle.
“Can … can I help you?”
Taekyeon looks up to see another little boy with red shorts and a yellow and black tiger t-shirt. He’s peering into the sandbox, staring at Taekyeon’s poorly built sandcastle.
“Yeah, sure!” Taekyeon exclaims and hands the other boy his extra shovel. “My name is Taekyeon.”
“I’m Jaebum.”
They build the sandcastle together, they talk about Spiderman and Batman (No way! Batman is way cooler than Spiderman, Taekyeon!), their favourite foods (…I’ve never had a hamburger before) and how old they are (I’m your hyung!), which leads to -
“Taekyeon-ah,” Jaebum says suddenly as their sandcastle is coming closer to being finished. “Don’t worry, I’ll protect you from scary things at night!” He puffs out his chest. “Just like Batman!”
*
Jaebum doesn’t come to the park the next day like he promised Taekyeon, or the day after that, or the day after that, or the day after that.
2PM - Current Stage: 1:59PM
Taekyeon isn’t sure how this is supposed to go. He’s not sure why there’s a deep pulsating pain in his chest as he says goodbye to Jaebum. He’s not sure why he has this feeling like he’s done this before, one too many times. Taekyeon wants to yell, wants to scream for him to stay in Korea, to stay because he needs him so much, so much but there’s nothing he can do about it. Taekyeon loves Jaebum like a brother, like a friend, like something much more, something much deeper - but it can’t go any farther than that.
It’s been months since he’s last seen Jaebum, months since he’s last told jokes with him, months since he’s felt the calm presence of his leader. But Taekyeon holds it all in, takes it and goes through it slowly on an hourly basis. He doesn’t show the others that he’s breaking inside because he misses Jaebum, that he’s in just as much pain as them; he doesn’t show anything.
So, when 2010 starts to ring in Taekyeon can’t help but feel cheated. It’s a start of a new year and this is the first time in five years that he’s spent it without Jaebum. He’s about this close to buying a plane ticket to Seattle just so -
The doorbell rings and Taekyeon grudgingly goes to open it, when it’s clear that no one else will.
Taekyeon thinks he’s seeing a ghost. There’s this man in front of him wearing baggy grey sweats with a baggy white tee, an Atlanta hat tilted to the side on his head. He has luggage surrounding him, which makes him look smaller than usual. Taekyeon is sure this is a ghost.
Same height, same elfish ears, same cat eyes, same everything. Taekyeon brings a hand up to Jaebum’s shoulder, squeezes it hard to make sure he’s real. When Taekyeon realises that it’s not his imagination, that he’s real, that he’s actually squeezing the life out of a human being’s shoulder he chokes up.
“I’m back,” Jaebum says softly, looks down at his sneakers, scuffing them against the hallway carpet.
“You’re back,” Taekyeon repeats. “You’re back.”
*
(There’s shrieking, tears and tackles going around when Jaebum steps through the front door with a teary-eyed Taek. There’s a space that was half-filled in his absence that struggles to be drained once it becomes official that the leader is back. There’s an unwilling power struggle in order to acknowledge his place once again.
During his absence, Jaebum realises, they’ve grown - man’d up like he’s yelled at them to, even if it had been only for jokes at the time. They’ve learnt to stand on their own, together, without their leader but never forgetting. Jaebum feels out of place all of a sudden but is quickly brought out of this as realization hits him once again.
They’ve never stopped needing him.)
*
merry christmas, everyone ♥