Taekyeon/Changmin: Therapy for Idols
Title: Therapy for Idols
Rating: PG-13
Fandom: 2PM/DBSK
Pairing: Taekyeon/Changmin (DBSK)
Word Count: 4580
Summary: Five times Taekyeon and Shim Changmin ever did anything together.
Notes: There really is no point to this... this is just word vomit ): for pyro_o who likes to give me impossible pairings of all sorts to write. sigh
therapy for idols
i. There’s definitely something wrong with this, Taekyeon thinks as he enters the office to his Therapist. That’s right, Ok Taekyeon has a brand spankin’ new Therapist to help work out his problems because his brain doesn’t click the right way anymore - or so Minjae hyung says. And, according to Chansung he’s been brooding on the balcony by himself with a soju bottle watching the stars sing and dance. Singing and dancing? Really? What fucking moron would believe that Taekyeon would brood, nursing an alcohol bottle waiting for the non-existent stars in Seoul to show themselves?
Well, Minjae is the type of moron to believe Chansung and so is Jinyoung hyung because he arranged for the Therapist. Taekyeon is far from pleased as he sits in a beige chair that looks well worn, and the black paint of the metal arm rests are starting to peel. Taekyeon frowns as he picks at the paint, the least Jinyoung hyung could do is send him to an expensive Therapist and not some cheap bimbo who doesn’t upgrade their furniture.
He looks around the office and notices that the walls are beige as well and Taekyeon can’t help but think boh-fucking-ring. The office definitely needs colour, like fuchsia to make the beige chairs stand out. Or on second thought, Taekyeon fingers the beige fabric and smiles happily, maybe they should change the beige to lime green. Definitely not boh-ring.
The secretary looks up from her desk for the first time since Taekyeon enters and he suddenly remembers that he’s supposed to sign in to say present! It definitely slipped his mind but he gets up anyway and saunters over to the desk in a displeased fashion, because he remembers again why he’s here in the first place. However, Taekyeon instantly perks up as he leans against the counter - he can see down her shirt!
Current total of win for the day stands at the following:
The Universe: 500
Ok Taekyeon: 50000000000000000000000000
Daebak!
“Hi,” he says wagging his eyebrows because he remembers Junsu telling him his eyebrows are one of his greatest features in terms of picking up hot chicks, “my name is Ok Taekyeon.”
The Hot Secretary smiles at him as she pushes her glasses up the bridge of her nose. “Ok Taekyeon-sshi, please take a seat Dr. Wolfe will be with you in a moment.”
Taekyeon nods his head and returns back to his seat. When he sits he looks over at The Hot Secretary again and catches her eye. He gives her his million dollar watt smile and more eyebrow wagging. Taekyeon feels his ego burst as she giggles, blushing and turns away to go back to typing on her computer.
Oh yeah, Taekyeon thinks putting his hands behind his head, she wants the Okcat.
“You’ve got to be kidding me,” he hears a voice say from his side. “That is quite possibly the lamest thing I have ever seen today.”
Taekyeon frowns and turns to look at the douchebag who dare put a damper on his hiking mood. His eyebrows shoot up in surprise when he sees Shim Changmin from Dong Bang Shin Ki.
“Oh, so you can do other things that don’t involve greasy eyebrow wagging,” he says as he turns the page from the magazine in his hand. “I was getting a little worried there for a second.”
“S-Sunbae!” Taekyeon manages to stutter out and then bow his head low profusely several times. Damn Korean customs, he thinks gritting his teeth, if this had been in America he could reach his fist out and bam! Instant knockout!
“Be quiet!” Changmin hisses as he closes his magazine shut quickly and looks around the empty office suspiciously. “No one is supposed to know I’m here!”
Taekyeon raises an eyebrow at him (yes, his eyebrows have many talents, okay, thank you). “Then … shouldn’t you be incognito?”
Changmin frowns at him and opens his magazine again and hides his face in it. He leans closer to Taekyeon and beckons him forward with a crook of his finger. “I am currently disguised.”
Taekyeon looks at Changmin with a look of doubt on his face. The other man is wearing a scarf around his neck and average Joe looking clothes - this is not a disguise. A disguise consists of moustaches and heavy makeup and plant branches attached to Junsu’s ugly hats.
“Well, I don’t think it’s a disguise if I can … you know … recognize you, Sunbae.”
“Shut up, you don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“I don’t see why you’re worried. There’s no one else in this Therapy office besides you and me and The Hot Secretary.” Taekyeon points out. “Wait, wait, hold on a sec. You’re in a Therapy office.”
“Of course I am, Sherlock.”
“Yes, but you’re in a Therapy office.” Taekyeon looks around the office once again and then looks at Changmin, completely and utterly confused. “You’re here for Therapy?”
“My, aren’t you the brightest crayon in the box?” Changmin rolls his eyes.
Taekyeon blinks, looking down at his bright red t-shirt and orange pants and starts to preen. “Thank you.”
“That wasn’t supposed to be a compliment,” Changmin snaps and immediately his hand goes to pinch the bridge of his nose. “Christ, I am getting a headache. This is your fault, Ok Taekyeon.”
“What? I didn’t do anything - oh hey!” Taekyeon grins and if possible, starts to preen even more - sparkle all kinds of fantastic - “you know my name!”
“Of course I do, the secretary just said it five minutes ago.”
Taekyeon’s not listening. “Hey, hey, do you know my band’s name too?”
Changmin smirks. “Of course, isn’t it BEAST? That reject group?”
Taekyeon guffaws loudly. BEAST? Yes, he did portray the beastly image concept on camera but really, shouldn’t people know he wasn’t one twenty-four-seven? Also, reject group?! Doojoon may have been rejected from Oneday but he surely is not a reject, and neither is Junhyung for that matter. Who cares that XING isn’t well received in Korea? They are a big hit in Thailand and god, at least that’s somewhere and Hyunseung too! Hyunseung may have been rejected from THE biggest and greatest and flyest boy band in South Korea, but hey at least he’s somewhere! And yeah, Kikwang failed in his solo debut but look, he’s an actor in Highkick! Also, Dongwoon and Yoseob have never been rejected from a group. Therefore, reject group should only apply if EVERYONE had been rejected. His math is genius, really.
And just as Taekyeon is about to make a scathing remark about this, Hot Secretary Chick interrupts.
“Dr. Wolfe will see both of you now.”
“Both of us?” Changmin asks as he stands up, putting his magazine aside. “We made appointments separately-”
“She said the both of you,” Hot Secretary Chick says and returns to typing on her computer.
Taekyeon is still frowning but he ends up walking next to Changmin to where Hot Secretary Lady pointed. Just as they’re about to go in the room Taekyeon turns to look at Changmin and says, “Your scarf looks stupid you should ask Kikwang to hook you up with some real fly scarves.”
With that he grabs the doorknob and opens the door forcefully. When he steps into the room he’s surprised at the person sitting on the desk, smiling up at him. She’s a small woman with long blond hair and bright blue eyes - and yes, yes, she is most definitely not Korean, which means she’s not Asian.
“Uhhhhh.”
“Please, have a seat,” she says, gesturing to the two seats in front of her desk.
Taekyeon blinks at her thoroughly confused. “What?”
This White Dr. Wolfe Lady just spoke Korean to him. This is by far the weirdest experience he’s ever had.
“What are you doing, moron?” Changmin hisses behind him. “Go sit and stop gawking at her!”
Taekyeon hastily walks over to the two seats - beige, he notes with dissatisfaction - and sits next to Changmin.
“Now, the reason you both are here is because your bands are going through a crisis and your management feels that you two have some bitter feelings about this.” Dr. Wolfe Non-Korean Lady is reading from a clipboard that Taekyeon just wants to grab and smash against the desk because he is most definitely not bitter.
“Now, I have discussed this with your companies and the conclusion is that you two will work together and sort out your feelings since you are going through similar situations.” As she looks up from the clipboard she’s smiling and Taekyeon wishes he were in America, it would be perfectly acceptable for him to smash her face in at this moment.
“We are not going through similar situations,” Changmin says from his side, his face is red and Taekyeon imagines he’ll pop a vein sometime soon. “My band is on the verge of disbandment, his is still intact and-”
“This isn’t a discussion, Mr. Shim.” Dr. Wolfe still has that smile on her face, which Taekyeon finds disconcerting. “It’s already been decided.”
Taekyeon can only chalk this day up to one word: fucking weird.
Okay, so that was two words - sue him. Oh, he definitely shouldn’t say that to Changmin.
ii. They’re supposed to meet at a coffee shop down the street from the Dr. Wolfe’s office. Taekyeon isn’t sure he wants to meet Changmin to discuss his feelings, especially since Changmin is supposed to be this smart-ass guy who’s really intelligent. Yes, he did his research by reading fanfics, thank you. Taekyeon toyed with the idea last night of asking Changmin to meet Yoochun - anyone who used I really want to touch myself as lyric in a song deserves a hi-five.
After consulting with Junsu, however, he ended up deciding against it. There’s a 99.9% chance that Changmin will get offended and, if yesterday is anything to go by, he did not want to offend Changmin. So instead, the questions that he thought of to ask are ones that Nichkhun gave him in between phone calls to America and Thailand.
He is still debating if he should cross out are you really a beast in between the sheets like that one fic described because he is genuinely curious. Taekyeon decides that he’ll make his final decision in the coffee shop.
Upon entering he spots Changmin all the way in the back with the same scarf wrapped around his neck and book in his hand. Taekyeon rolls his eyes and walks over to him, sighing heavily as he plops down on the seat across from Changmin.
“You’re late,” Changmin says without looking up from his book.
“I’m not! You’re just early!”
“Which means you’re late.” Changmin closes his book with a firm snap. “We’ll let’s get this over with.”
“Wait, can’t we order something first?” Taekyeon looks around the shop, waving down one of the hostesses. “I’m starving.”
“Put your hand down, child, she saw you waving she’s coming!”
“I’m not a child, thank you,” Taekyeon huffs. “And we’re the same age.”
“Really? What year were you born in?”
“1987.”
“Month?”
“December.”
Changmin smirks. “I’m still your hyung, I was born in February.”
Really, Taekyeon thinks, Korea is so stupid with their age system. In America there wasn’t this bullshit system and he could reach across the table and wipe that smirk of Changmin’s face without being called disrespectful. He could call it friendship and no one would disagree!
“That doesn’t matter,” Taekyeon mutters under his breath.
“Oh yes it does, Taekyeon,” Changmin says pointedly. “Yes it does matter a lot.”
“Hi, how many I help you?” the hostess asks, her eyes widening when she sees both Changmin and Taekyeon.
Changmin leans forward and smiles up at her. “Please don’t tell anyone that we’re here and we’ll tip you extra.”
The hostess nods and bows profusely, which Taekyeon finds cute - too bad she’s a bit on ugly-needs-a-nose-job-side.
“I’ll have coffee please and double chocolate muffin,” Taekyeon says and looks at Changmin with a raised eyebrow. “You?”
“Just coffee for now.”
The hostess nods and scurries off, probably to tell the rest of her coworkers. “You know she’s going to tell everyone.”
“Of course she is.”
“I was just saying.”
“Of course you were. Now, let’s get these questions over with.”
“These aren’t supposed to be one word answers to questions.” Taekyeon points out as he takes out the piece of paper from his pocket. “They’re supposed to be discussion questions that let us talk about our feelings more.”
“I know this,” Changmin snaps as he places his sheet of paper on the table. “I’ll start off first. Are you bitter about the situation your band is in?”
Taekyeon freezes and mentally crosses off are you a beast in between the sheets off his list. He licks his lips nervously, as he thinks about how to answer this question. Sure, he is a little bit upset about Jaebum leaving. Yes, he is extremely angry at the girl who ruined Jaebum’s career without a second thought. Is he bitter?
Wooyoung is thinner and speaks less and is harsher with his tongue, Nichkhun is more smiles and smiles and words where he lacked in before, Junho is more careful and overly cautious, Chansung eats and eats and works out like Jaebum but Taekyeon can hear him in the bathroom sometimes, Junsu tunes into himself more often than not, which leaves Taekyeon to himself and his laptop.
So, is he bitter?
“Yeah,” he tells Changmin with downcast eyes, “yeah, I’m bitter. Are you?”
“Yes,” Changmin says slowly, “I’m … really bitter.”
Taekyeon nods his head and bites his lip. “Do you … do you blame them?”
He knows he’s treading in shallow water but Taekyeon is a curious cat. And he wonders if he should explain who he means by them but Changmin has his jaw set, his mouth is twitching and Taekyeon knows he’s trying to find the right words. Who would Changmin blame? His three other members who’s on one side of the company that put them together?
“Everyone,” Changmin finally tells him, fingering the white sheet of paper in front of him. “I blame every single person involved in the entire matter.”
“Wouldn’t that mean you blame yourself too?”
“Yeah, I guess that does mean I blame me too.”
They’re both silent as the hostess brings them their orders. They thank her quietly and sip their coffees.
“Did you have a question?” Changmin asks after a while.
“Uhh, yeah.” Taekyeon picks up his yellow notepad paper that’s on the table and skims it. As he reads his questions he mentally crosses them all off (why do they pair you with food or the fridge in fics?) and finally settles on one that Nichkhun gave him. “Which phrase said to you was most unforgettable?”
“Running away won’t solve anything,” Changmin answers promptly.
“Wow, that was fast.”
“I’ve been thinking about it lately.” Changmin shrugs and sips his coffee. “Are you mad at Jaebum for leaving?”
“What? No - Jay wasn’t running away from anything!”
“That’s not what I said.”
“It’s what you implied!”
“No, I wasn’t implying any-”
“Yes, you were! I don’t think-”
“That’s the problem isn’t it? You never think, Taekyeon-”
“Fuck you,” Taekyeon tells him as he slams both his hands on the table and stands up to lean against them. “Fuck you so hard, Shim Changmin. I hope Dong Bang Shin Ki fucking disbands and you die in a burning fire pit.”
Taekyeon storms out of the coffee shop, only remembering later that he didn’t pay the bill. Then again, he didn’t care. Changmin can pay for the damn thing.
iii. They arrange to meet at a park near the Dr. Wolfe’s office. Taekyeon would have rather not met Changmin anymore but Jinyoung hyung gave him plenty of threats and Taekyeon did not doubt that he wouldn’t follow through. He figures Changmin received the same variation of threats because he readily agrees to meet Taekyeon.
So now they’re both sitting in an empty park on a bench that’s freezing Taekyeon’s ass off.
“Are you cold?”
“Yes! What kind of a question is this?” Changmin rubs his arms. “Why did I agree to meet you in a park of all places? Why didn’t you pick a normal place to meet!”
“Uh-”
“Those questions were rhetorical, meaning you’re not supposed to answer them.”
“I knew that.”
“Of course you did.”
“So … what are the things you miss most about your band?” Taekyeon asks.
“Are you serious?” Changmin turns to look at Taekyeon. “This is your question?”
Taekyeon shows him the piece of paper and points to the question quickly before folding it quickly. He still had the sex question on the paper and he hoped to any god out there that Changmin did not see it.
“Well,” Changmin starts, “I guess I miss being all together. The five of us … without curtains or walls or yelling.”
“You didn’t yell at each other before?”
“Of course we did. But this yelling … is different.” Changmin sighs and pulls his scarf around him closer. “Before we were yelling because we were having fun together, as a band - a team, you know?”
“Yeah… I know what you mean.”
“And now it’s different. We yell because we want to be heard and it’s just one big headache after one big fight after one big tear fest after one big - whatever.”
“You just want to be heard…” Taekyeon repeats softly.
“Yes.”
“But do you listen?” Taekyeon asks, bending down to grab at the snow beneath him. “When the others want to be heard do you listen to them?”
“I-” Changmin stutters, and Taekyeon is on his knees making a snowball. He doesn’t look at Changmin as the other tries to find his words, it’s quite rude.
“Of course I listen.”
Taekyeon nods his head and looks up from his snowball. “That’s good because if one of you listens then someone will eventually be heard, you know?”
“Yeah, I suppose so.”
Taekyeon figures that Changmin is still at a loss for words so he continues on making his snowball.
“What do you think?”
“Of what?”
Changmin sighs, blowing out air through pursed lips as he leans against the bench. “About a band disbanding…”
“I think it’s all right,” Taekyeon replies. “I mean look at Fly to the Sky sunbae, they’re doing fine.”
“Yes but they went through a lot of hard times,” Changmin says and as he talks Taekyeon finally understands Changmin’s problem. “They only ever sorted themselves out after their disbandment.”
Changmin, Taekyeon concludes, is a man losing faith.
“Yes, but they’re good friends now aren’t they?” Taekyeon sits back onto the bench with his snowball and hands it to Changmin. “Anyway, I think a group is always made to disband in the future. Despite promises that are made, they’re always broken - promises are made to be broken, too. So, there’s always a day to disband, why not do it on a good note? And only do it after you’ve earned a shit ton of money.”
Changmin looks at him with a smile. “I think that’s the most intelligent thing I’ve heard come out of your mouth.”
“Thank you - mfff!”
Taekyeon wipes the snow off his face. That bastard just threw his precious snowball in his face!
“Now’s a good time to run, Changmin.”
iv. They’re at a restaurant this time for dinner. Taekyeon is throwing meat onto the grill as Changmin asks him questions.
“What’s the one thing you want to do in the future?”
“Make a calculator with my kids.”
Changmin makes an indescribable noise in his throat. “You want to what?”
“Make a calculator with my kids,” Taekyeon repeats slightly miffed. “What? It’s normal!”
“No, it’s not. Most people would say take them to the park for the first time! Or take them to watch their first soccer game! Not make a damn calculator!”
Taekyeon’s mouth twitches. “Yeah, well, what’s wrong with coming home from work and doing something completely mind numbing like making a calculator with my kids? They can each have their own custom made calculator and it’ll be unique and everything!”
“You are perhaps the biggest loser I’ve ever had the displeasure to meet.”
“Well,” Taekyeon says, frowning, as he throws more meat onto the grill, “that was rude.”
“It was honest.”
“And rude.” Taekyeon glares at Changmin, who is staring back at him clearly disinterested.
“Honesty is the best policy.”
“I think being rude is your only policy.”
“That too.”
“I thought you would’ve appreciated my inner geek,” Taekyeon says crossing his arms.
“No, you are a math and science geek,” Changmin points out. “I appreciate literature.”
Taekyeon makes a face at literature. Reading, he never liked it as a child and there is no way he’s about to start liking it now.
“Of course, you would make a disgusted face at literature.” Changmin sighs like he’s just been burdened with the heaviest burden ever.
“I hate reading.”
“I hate problem solving.”
“I hate this stupid restaurant.”
“I hate that you’re cooking my food.”
“I hate that you don’t know how to cook!”
“I hate that you’re yelling!”
“I hate that you’re yelling back!”
“Are you as turned on by me right now, just as I’m so turned on by you?”
“I hate - what? What? What!”
“Nothing,” Taekyeon says quickly as he removes meat, adding in squid and chicken to the grill. “Just erase the last fifteen seconds from your memory.”
“What the hell did you say to me? Turned on by you? Are you drunk? On drugs?”
“No!” Taekyeon hisses, feeling his cheeks burn. “It’s just, I remembered Junho watching The Suite Life of Zach and Cody - this American show that we get on satellite - and there’s this one part where Ashley Tisdale and Jesse McCartney, I think it was, were fighting just how we were fighting. And then at the end Jesse McCartney says ‘Are you as turned on by me right now, just as I’m so turned on by you?’ and Ashley Tisdale says yes and then sparks fly and stuff and they kiss!”
Changmin blinks at him. “You were expecting me to kiss you?”
“What? No, it’s not that - I wasn’t-”
“Just go back to cooking the food.” Changmin points to the grill, his face tingeing pink.
v. This time it’s back at the same coffee shop and this time Taekyeon is early.
He sits in the far back - the original spot Changmin chose in their first meeting. There’s a particular question on his mind and not on the paper. He’s nervous, really nervous because his palms are sweaty. He rubs them against the fabric of his jeans and oh god, he can hear his heart beating in his ears.
Changmin enters the coffee shop, not bothering to hide his surprise when he sees Taekyeon. Taekyeon feels a bit miffed by this but doesn’t say it when Changmin sits down in front of him.
“You’re late.”
“It seems so,” Changmin answers with a hint of a smile. “Are you ordering?”
Taekyeon shakes his head.
“Good, neither was I.”
Taekyeon nods his head.
“Can you stop doing that?”
“Oh, sorry,” Taekyeon mutters.
Great, great, great, this is just fine and dandy now isn’t it? His tongue is now tied in a fucking knot and oh god, he doesn’t know how to untie it. On top of that his stomach is doing flips and turns and swirls! Swirls! Of all things too! Ok Taekyeon! Get a hold of yourself! This is not beastly or manly at all.
“So… what questions do you have today?”
Taekyeon doesn’t answer. He knows that if he opens his mouth at any second he’ll barf all over the table and then his vomit will spill into Changmin’s lap. Changmin will be pissed.
“Okay, I’ll go first…” Changmin gives Taekyeon a weird look. “Are you still in touch with Jaebum?”
This is a question he didn’t expect. “I … yeah. We call each other from time to time.”
“What’s it like?”
“The conversations?”
“Yeah.”
Taekyeon bites his lip as he thinks. “At first it was weird. We had to call each other at odd times during the day because of the time difference … and then, there was a lot of shouting in the beginning. Mostly me shouting, Jaebum … not talking. Sometimes he’d snap though, he’d snap and tell me to shut the fuck up-” Taekyeon laughs - “but then he’d say sorry. He never stops.”
“Never stops what?”
“Apologizing,” Taekyeon whispers and as the word leaves his mouth he realises how true it is. No matter what, Jaebum will always say sorry for something - anything. He’ll find a way to squeeze the damn word into their conversations and it doesn’t alleviate the guilt that Taekyeon has, it only adds to it. But Taekyeon never tells him, Jaebum would only apologize.
“I see.” After a while Changmin says, “Do you miss him?”
“Yes,” Taekyeon answers automatically. “God fucking yes.”
“How badly?”
“Really, really, badly.” Taekyeon looks at Changmin through narrowed eyes. “What’s the point of these questions?”
“I’m going to Seattle in a few days for something,” Changmin informs him, leaning closer to Taekyeon and lowering his voice. “And I was … curious.”
“You’re going to Seattle…”
“Yes,” Changmin answers. “And I was wondering … if you wanted me to pass a message along, you know?”
“Yeah,” Taekyeon says, letting it sink it. “Yeah, I’d like that.”
Changmin smiles at him and reaches out across the table to grab Taekyeon’s hand. When their hands touch, Taekyeon swears he sees the sparks fly off their skin and if Changmin noticed he says nothing. Taekyeon starts to realise that he’s leaning in closer, so close in fact that the table is starting to become a real problem for him.
“Hey, Taekyeon-”
“Do you like me?” Taekyeon asks quickly, stumbling over his words - he’s not sure if he said it in English or Korean or gibberish.
Taekyeon watches as Changmin’s face stills, and then by some form of miracle the corners of Changmin’s lips turn upward. His eyes crinkle, one eye completely disappearing and he nods his head. He nods his head, and then somehow their foreheads touch and Taekyeon angles his face.
Their lips only touch for a brief second but in that one second, that one second of sheer perfection and blood rushing through his veins like lightening, Taekyeon finally understands the phrase I’m so happy I could die.
“On second thought,” Taekyeon says, “can’t you stuff me in your suit case instead?”
“I’d need a really big suitcase,” Changmin deadpans.
“We should go luggage shopping!”
“How about we could stay here.”
“There’s all sorts of luggage-”
“I’d prefer to stay here-”
“I’m excited! Let’s go!”
Taekyeon hauls Changmin to his feet and pushes him out the door of the coffee shop. As they wander the streets of Seoul, Taekyeon makes sure he doesn’t let go of Changmin’s hand. He makes sure to show Changmin that he’s here, here, here and it’s where he’ll always be. He supposes Changmin is trying to tell him the same thing, because his fingers are curled tightly around Taekyeon’s hand - a firm grip on his heart.
(He’s still upset that he hasn’t had the chance to ask Changmin about the beast between the sheets question. He’ll keep that question stored deep within the recesses of his brain for future reference.)
Rating: PG-13
Fandom: 2PM/DBSK
Pairing: Taekyeon/Changmin (DBSK)
Word Count: 4580
Summary: Five times Taekyeon and Shim Changmin ever did anything together.
Notes: There really is no point to this... this is just word vomit ): for pyro_o who likes to give me impossible pairings of all sorts to write. sigh
therapy for idols
i. There’s definitely something wrong with this, Taekyeon thinks as he enters the office to his Therapist. That’s right, Ok Taekyeon has a brand spankin’ new Therapist to help work out his problems because his brain doesn’t click the right way anymore - or so Minjae hyung says. And, according to Chansung he’s been brooding on the balcony by himself with a soju bottle watching the stars sing and dance. Singing and dancing? Really? What fucking moron would believe that Taekyeon would brood, nursing an alcohol bottle waiting for the non-existent stars in Seoul to show themselves?
Well, Minjae is the type of moron to believe Chansung and so is Jinyoung hyung because he arranged for the Therapist. Taekyeon is far from pleased as he sits in a beige chair that looks well worn, and the black paint of the metal arm rests are starting to peel. Taekyeon frowns as he picks at the paint, the least Jinyoung hyung could do is send him to an expensive Therapist and not some cheap bimbo who doesn’t upgrade their furniture.
He looks around the office and notices that the walls are beige as well and Taekyeon can’t help but think boh-fucking-ring. The office definitely needs colour, like fuchsia to make the beige chairs stand out. Or on second thought, Taekyeon fingers the beige fabric and smiles happily, maybe they should change the beige to lime green. Definitely not boh-ring.
The secretary looks up from her desk for the first time since Taekyeon enters and he suddenly remembers that he’s supposed to sign in to say present! It definitely slipped his mind but he gets up anyway and saunters over to the desk in a displeased fashion, because he remembers again why he’s here in the first place. However, Taekyeon instantly perks up as he leans against the counter - he can see down her shirt!
Current total of win for the day stands at the following:
The Universe: 500
Ok Taekyeon: 50000000000000000000000000
Daebak!
“Hi,” he says wagging his eyebrows because he remembers Junsu telling him his eyebrows are one of his greatest features in terms of picking up hot chicks, “my name is Ok Taekyeon.”
The Hot Secretary smiles at him as she pushes her glasses up the bridge of her nose. “Ok Taekyeon-sshi, please take a seat Dr. Wolfe will be with you in a moment.”
Taekyeon nods his head and returns back to his seat. When he sits he looks over at The Hot Secretary again and catches her eye. He gives her his million dollar watt smile and more eyebrow wagging. Taekyeon feels his ego burst as she giggles, blushing and turns away to go back to typing on her computer.
Oh yeah, Taekyeon thinks putting his hands behind his head, she wants the Okcat.
“You’ve got to be kidding me,” he hears a voice say from his side. “That is quite possibly the lamest thing I have ever seen today.”
Taekyeon frowns and turns to look at the douchebag who dare put a damper on his hiking mood. His eyebrows shoot up in surprise when he sees Shim Changmin from Dong Bang Shin Ki.
“Oh, so you can do other things that don’t involve greasy eyebrow wagging,” he says as he turns the page from the magazine in his hand. “I was getting a little worried there for a second.”
“S-Sunbae!” Taekyeon manages to stutter out and then bow his head low profusely several times. Damn Korean customs, he thinks gritting his teeth, if this had been in America he could reach his fist out and bam! Instant knockout!
“Be quiet!” Changmin hisses as he closes his magazine shut quickly and looks around the empty office suspiciously. “No one is supposed to know I’m here!”
Taekyeon raises an eyebrow at him (yes, his eyebrows have many talents, okay, thank you). “Then … shouldn’t you be incognito?”
Changmin frowns at him and opens his magazine again and hides his face in it. He leans closer to Taekyeon and beckons him forward with a crook of his finger. “I am currently disguised.”
Taekyeon looks at Changmin with a look of doubt on his face. The other man is wearing a scarf around his neck and average Joe looking clothes - this is not a disguise. A disguise consists of moustaches and heavy makeup and plant branches attached to Junsu’s ugly hats.
“Well, I don’t think it’s a disguise if I can … you know … recognize you, Sunbae.”
“Shut up, you don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“I don’t see why you’re worried. There’s no one else in this Therapy office besides you and me and The Hot Secretary.” Taekyeon points out. “Wait, wait, hold on a sec. You’re in a Therapy office.”
“Of course I am, Sherlock.”
“Yes, but you’re in a Therapy office.” Taekyeon looks around the office once again and then looks at Changmin, completely and utterly confused. “You’re here for Therapy?”
“My, aren’t you the brightest crayon in the box?” Changmin rolls his eyes.
Taekyeon blinks, looking down at his bright red t-shirt and orange pants and starts to preen. “Thank you.”
“That wasn’t supposed to be a compliment,” Changmin snaps and immediately his hand goes to pinch the bridge of his nose. “Christ, I am getting a headache. This is your fault, Ok Taekyeon.”
“What? I didn’t do anything - oh hey!” Taekyeon grins and if possible, starts to preen even more - sparkle all kinds of fantastic - “you know my name!”
“Of course I do, the secretary just said it five minutes ago.”
Taekyeon’s not listening. “Hey, hey, do you know my band’s name too?”
Changmin smirks. “Of course, isn’t it BEAST? That reject group?”
Taekyeon guffaws loudly. BEAST? Yes, he did portray the beastly image concept on camera but really, shouldn’t people know he wasn’t one twenty-four-seven? Also, reject group?! Doojoon may have been rejected from Oneday but he surely is not a reject, and neither is Junhyung for that matter. Who cares that XING isn’t well received in Korea? They are a big hit in Thailand and god, at least that’s somewhere and Hyunseung too! Hyunseung may have been rejected from THE biggest and greatest and flyest boy band in South Korea, but hey at least he’s somewhere! And yeah, Kikwang failed in his solo debut but look, he’s an actor in Highkick! Also, Dongwoon and Yoseob have never been rejected from a group. Therefore, reject group should only apply if EVERYONE had been rejected. His math is genius, really.
And just as Taekyeon is about to make a scathing remark about this, Hot Secretary Chick interrupts.
“Dr. Wolfe will see both of you now.”
“Both of us?” Changmin asks as he stands up, putting his magazine aside. “We made appointments separately-”
“She said the both of you,” Hot Secretary Chick says and returns to typing on her computer.
Taekyeon is still frowning but he ends up walking next to Changmin to where Hot Secretary Lady pointed. Just as they’re about to go in the room Taekyeon turns to look at Changmin and says, “Your scarf looks stupid you should ask Kikwang to hook you up with some real fly scarves.”
With that he grabs the doorknob and opens the door forcefully. When he steps into the room he’s surprised at the person sitting on the desk, smiling up at him. She’s a small woman with long blond hair and bright blue eyes - and yes, yes, she is most definitely not Korean, which means she’s not Asian.
“Uhhhhh.”
“Please, have a seat,” she says, gesturing to the two seats in front of her desk.
Taekyeon blinks at her thoroughly confused. “What?”
This White Dr. Wolfe Lady just spoke Korean to him. This is by far the weirdest experience he’s ever had.
“What are you doing, moron?” Changmin hisses behind him. “Go sit and stop gawking at her!”
Taekyeon hastily walks over to the two seats - beige, he notes with dissatisfaction - and sits next to Changmin.
“Now, the reason you both are here is because your bands are going through a crisis and your management feels that you two have some bitter feelings about this.” Dr. Wolfe Non-Korean Lady is reading from a clipboard that Taekyeon just wants to grab and smash against the desk because he is most definitely not bitter.
“Now, I have discussed this with your companies and the conclusion is that you two will work together and sort out your feelings since you are going through similar situations.” As she looks up from the clipboard she’s smiling and Taekyeon wishes he were in America, it would be perfectly acceptable for him to smash her face in at this moment.
“We are not going through similar situations,” Changmin says from his side, his face is red and Taekyeon imagines he’ll pop a vein sometime soon. “My band is on the verge of disbandment, his is still intact and-”
“This isn’t a discussion, Mr. Shim.” Dr. Wolfe still has that smile on her face, which Taekyeon finds disconcerting. “It’s already been decided.”
Taekyeon can only chalk this day up to one word: fucking weird.
Okay, so that was two words - sue him. Oh, he definitely shouldn’t say that to Changmin.
ii. They’re supposed to meet at a coffee shop down the street from the Dr. Wolfe’s office. Taekyeon isn’t sure he wants to meet Changmin to discuss his feelings, especially since Changmin is supposed to be this smart-ass guy who’s really intelligent. Yes, he did his research by reading fanfics, thank you. Taekyeon toyed with the idea last night of asking Changmin to meet Yoochun - anyone who used I really want to touch myself as lyric in a song deserves a hi-five.
After consulting with Junsu, however, he ended up deciding against it. There’s a 99.9% chance that Changmin will get offended and, if yesterday is anything to go by, he did not want to offend Changmin. So instead, the questions that he thought of to ask are ones that Nichkhun gave him in between phone calls to America and Thailand.
He is still debating if he should cross out are you really a beast in between the sheets like that one fic described because he is genuinely curious. Taekyeon decides that he’ll make his final decision in the coffee shop.
Upon entering he spots Changmin all the way in the back with the same scarf wrapped around his neck and book in his hand. Taekyeon rolls his eyes and walks over to him, sighing heavily as he plops down on the seat across from Changmin.
“You’re late,” Changmin says without looking up from his book.
“I’m not! You’re just early!”
“Which means you’re late.” Changmin closes his book with a firm snap. “We’ll let’s get this over with.”
“Wait, can’t we order something first?” Taekyeon looks around the shop, waving down one of the hostesses. “I’m starving.”
“Put your hand down, child, she saw you waving she’s coming!”
“I’m not a child, thank you,” Taekyeon huffs. “And we’re the same age.”
“Really? What year were you born in?”
“1987.”
“Month?”
“December.”
Changmin smirks. “I’m still your hyung, I was born in February.”
Really, Taekyeon thinks, Korea is so stupid with their age system. In America there wasn’t this bullshit system and he could reach across the table and wipe that smirk of Changmin’s face without being called disrespectful. He could call it friendship and no one would disagree!
“That doesn’t matter,” Taekyeon mutters under his breath.
“Oh yes it does, Taekyeon,” Changmin says pointedly. “Yes it does matter a lot.”
“Hi, how many I help you?” the hostess asks, her eyes widening when she sees both Changmin and Taekyeon.
Changmin leans forward and smiles up at her. “Please don’t tell anyone that we’re here and we’ll tip you extra.”
The hostess nods and bows profusely, which Taekyeon finds cute - too bad she’s a bit on ugly-needs-a-nose-job-side.
“I’ll have coffee please and double chocolate muffin,” Taekyeon says and looks at Changmin with a raised eyebrow. “You?”
“Just coffee for now.”
The hostess nods and scurries off, probably to tell the rest of her coworkers. “You know she’s going to tell everyone.”
“Of course she is.”
“I was just saying.”
“Of course you were. Now, let’s get these questions over with.”
“These aren’t supposed to be one word answers to questions.” Taekyeon points out as he takes out the piece of paper from his pocket. “They’re supposed to be discussion questions that let us talk about our feelings more.”
“I know this,” Changmin snaps as he places his sheet of paper on the table. “I’ll start off first. Are you bitter about the situation your band is in?”
Taekyeon freezes and mentally crosses off are you a beast in between the sheets off his list. He licks his lips nervously, as he thinks about how to answer this question. Sure, he is a little bit upset about Jaebum leaving. Yes, he is extremely angry at the girl who ruined Jaebum’s career without a second thought. Is he bitter?
Wooyoung is thinner and speaks less and is harsher with his tongue, Nichkhun is more smiles and smiles and words where he lacked in before, Junho is more careful and overly cautious, Chansung eats and eats and works out like Jaebum but Taekyeon can hear him in the bathroom sometimes, Junsu tunes into himself more often than not, which leaves Taekyeon to himself and his laptop.
So, is he bitter?
“Yeah,” he tells Changmin with downcast eyes, “yeah, I’m bitter. Are you?”
“Yes,” Changmin says slowly, “I’m … really bitter.”
Taekyeon nods his head and bites his lip. “Do you … do you blame them?”
He knows he’s treading in shallow water but Taekyeon is a curious cat. And he wonders if he should explain who he means by them but Changmin has his jaw set, his mouth is twitching and Taekyeon knows he’s trying to find the right words. Who would Changmin blame? His three other members who’s on one side of the company that put them together?
“Everyone,” Changmin finally tells him, fingering the white sheet of paper in front of him. “I blame every single person involved in the entire matter.”
“Wouldn’t that mean you blame yourself too?”
“Yeah, I guess that does mean I blame me too.”
They’re both silent as the hostess brings them their orders. They thank her quietly and sip their coffees.
“Did you have a question?” Changmin asks after a while.
“Uhh, yeah.” Taekyeon picks up his yellow notepad paper that’s on the table and skims it. As he reads his questions he mentally crosses them all off (why do they pair you with food or the fridge in fics?) and finally settles on one that Nichkhun gave him. “Which phrase said to you was most unforgettable?”
“Running away won’t solve anything,” Changmin answers promptly.
“Wow, that was fast.”
“I’ve been thinking about it lately.” Changmin shrugs and sips his coffee. “Are you mad at Jaebum for leaving?”
“What? No - Jay wasn’t running away from anything!”
“That’s not what I said.”
“It’s what you implied!”
“No, I wasn’t implying any-”
“Yes, you were! I don’t think-”
“That’s the problem isn’t it? You never think, Taekyeon-”
“Fuck you,” Taekyeon tells him as he slams both his hands on the table and stands up to lean against them. “Fuck you so hard, Shim Changmin. I hope Dong Bang Shin Ki fucking disbands and you die in a burning fire pit.”
Taekyeon storms out of the coffee shop, only remembering later that he didn’t pay the bill. Then again, he didn’t care. Changmin can pay for the damn thing.
iii. They arrange to meet at a park near the Dr. Wolfe’s office. Taekyeon would have rather not met Changmin anymore but Jinyoung hyung gave him plenty of threats and Taekyeon did not doubt that he wouldn’t follow through. He figures Changmin received the same variation of threats because he readily agrees to meet Taekyeon.
So now they’re both sitting in an empty park on a bench that’s freezing Taekyeon’s ass off.
“Are you cold?”
“Yes! What kind of a question is this?” Changmin rubs his arms. “Why did I agree to meet you in a park of all places? Why didn’t you pick a normal place to meet!”
“Uh-”
“Those questions were rhetorical, meaning you’re not supposed to answer them.”
“I knew that.”
“Of course you did.”
“So … what are the things you miss most about your band?” Taekyeon asks.
“Are you serious?” Changmin turns to look at Taekyeon. “This is your question?”
Taekyeon shows him the piece of paper and points to the question quickly before folding it quickly. He still had the sex question on the paper and he hoped to any god out there that Changmin did not see it.
“Well,” Changmin starts, “I guess I miss being all together. The five of us … without curtains or walls or yelling.”
“You didn’t yell at each other before?”
“Of course we did. But this yelling … is different.” Changmin sighs and pulls his scarf around him closer. “Before we were yelling because we were having fun together, as a band - a team, you know?”
“Yeah… I know what you mean.”
“And now it’s different. We yell because we want to be heard and it’s just one big headache after one big fight after one big tear fest after one big - whatever.”
“You just want to be heard…” Taekyeon repeats softly.
“Yes.”
“But do you listen?” Taekyeon asks, bending down to grab at the snow beneath him. “When the others want to be heard do you listen to them?”
“I-” Changmin stutters, and Taekyeon is on his knees making a snowball. He doesn’t look at Changmin as the other tries to find his words, it’s quite rude.
“Of course I listen.”
Taekyeon nods his head and looks up from his snowball. “That’s good because if one of you listens then someone will eventually be heard, you know?”
“Yeah, I suppose so.”
Taekyeon figures that Changmin is still at a loss for words so he continues on making his snowball.
“What do you think?”
“Of what?”
Changmin sighs, blowing out air through pursed lips as he leans against the bench. “About a band disbanding…”
“I think it’s all right,” Taekyeon replies. “I mean look at Fly to the Sky sunbae, they’re doing fine.”
“Yes but they went through a lot of hard times,” Changmin says and as he talks Taekyeon finally understands Changmin’s problem. “They only ever sorted themselves out after their disbandment.”
Changmin, Taekyeon concludes, is a man losing faith.
“Yes, but they’re good friends now aren’t they?” Taekyeon sits back onto the bench with his snowball and hands it to Changmin. “Anyway, I think a group is always made to disband in the future. Despite promises that are made, they’re always broken - promises are made to be broken, too. So, there’s always a day to disband, why not do it on a good note? And only do it after you’ve earned a shit ton of money.”
Changmin looks at him with a smile. “I think that’s the most intelligent thing I’ve heard come out of your mouth.”
“Thank you - mfff!”
Taekyeon wipes the snow off his face. That bastard just threw his precious snowball in his face!
“Now’s a good time to run, Changmin.”
iv. They’re at a restaurant this time for dinner. Taekyeon is throwing meat onto the grill as Changmin asks him questions.
“What’s the one thing you want to do in the future?”
“Make a calculator with my kids.”
Changmin makes an indescribable noise in his throat. “You want to what?”
“Make a calculator with my kids,” Taekyeon repeats slightly miffed. “What? It’s normal!”
“No, it’s not. Most people would say take them to the park for the first time! Or take them to watch their first soccer game! Not make a damn calculator!”
Taekyeon’s mouth twitches. “Yeah, well, what’s wrong with coming home from work and doing something completely mind numbing like making a calculator with my kids? They can each have their own custom made calculator and it’ll be unique and everything!”
“You are perhaps the biggest loser I’ve ever had the displeasure to meet.”
“Well,” Taekyeon says, frowning, as he throws more meat onto the grill, “that was rude.”
“It was honest.”
“And rude.” Taekyeon glares at Changmin, who is staring back at him clearly disinterested.
“Honesty is the best policy.”
“I think being rude is your only policy.”
“That too.”
“I thought you would’ve appreciated my inner geek,” Taekyeon says crossing his arms.
“No, you are a math and science geek,” Changmin points out. “I appreciate literature.”
Taekyeon makes a face at literature. Reading, he never liked it as a child and there is no way he’s about to start liking it now.
“Of course, you would make a disgusted face at literature.” Changmin sighs like he’s just been burdened with the heaviest burden ever.
“I hate reading.”
“I hate problem solving.”
“I hate this stupid restaurant.”
“I hate that you’re cooking my food.”
“I hate that you don’t know how to cook!”
“I hate that you’re yelling!”
“I hate that you’re yelling back!”
“Are you as turned on by me right now, just as I’m so turned on by you?”
“I hate - what? What? What!”
“Nothing,” Taekyeon says quickly as he removes meat, adding in squid and chicken to the grill. “Just erase the last fifteen seconds from your memory.”
“What the hell did you say to me? Turned on by you? Are you drunk? On drugs?”
“No!” Taekyeon hisses, feeling his cheeks burn. “It’s just, I remembered Junho watching The Suite Life of Zach and Cody - this American show that we get on satellite - and there’s this one part where Ashley Tisdale and Jesse McCartney, I think it was, were fighting just how we were fighting. And then at the end Jesse McCartney says ‘Are you as turned on by me right now, just as I’m so turned on by you?’ and Ashley Tisdale says yes and then sparks fly and stuff and they kiss!”
Changmin blinks at him. “You were expecting me to kiss you?”
“What? No, it’s not that - I wasn’t-”
“Just go back to cooking the food.” Changmin points to the grill, his face tingeing pink.
v. This time it’s back at the same coffee shop and this time Taekyeon is early.
He sits in the far back - the original spot Changmin chose in their first meeting. There’s a particular question on his mind and not on the paper. He’s nervous, really nervous because his palms are sweaty. He rubs them against the fabric of his jeans and oh god, he can hear his heart beating in his ears.
Changmin enters the coffee shop, not bothering to hide his surprise when he sees Taekyeon. Taekyeon feels a bit miffed by this but doesn’t say it when Changmin sits down in front of him.
“You’re late.”
“It seems so,” Changmin answers with a hint of a smile. “Are you ordering?”
Taekyeon shakes his head.
“Good, neither was I.”
Taekyeon nods his head.
“Can you stop doing that?”
“Oh, sorry,” Taekyeon mutters.
Great, great, great, this is just fine and dandy now isn’t it? His tongue is now tied in a fucking knot and oh god, he doesn’t know how to untie it. On top of that his stomach is doing flips and turns and swirls! Swirls! Of all things too! Ok Taekyeon! Get a hold of yourself! This is not beastly or manly at all.
“So… what questions do you have today?”
Taekyeon doesn’t answer. He knows that if he opens his mouth at any second he’ll barf all over the table and then his vomit will spill into Changmin’s lap. Changmin will be pissed.
“Okay, I’ll go first…” Changmin gives Taekyeon a weird look. “Are you still in touch with Jaebum?”
This is a question he didn’t expect. “I … yeah. We call each other from time to time.”
“What’s it like?”
“The conversations?”
“Yeah.”
Taekyeon bites his lip as he thinks. “At first it was weird. We had to call each other at odd times during the day because of the time difference … and then, there was a lot of shouting in the beginning. Mostly me shouting, Jaebum … not talking. Sometimes he’d snap though, he’d snap and tell me to shut the fuck up-” Taekyeon laughs - “but then he’d say sorry. He never stops.”
“Never stops what?”
“Apologizing,” Taekyeon whispers and as the word leaves his mouth he realises how true it is. No matter what, Jaebum will always say sorry for something - anything. He’ll find a way to squeeze the damn word into their conversations and it doesn’t alleviate the guilt that Taekyeon has, it only adds to it. But Taekyeon never tells him, Jaebum would only apologize.
“I see.” After a while Changmin says, “Do you miss him?”
“Yes,” Taekyeon answers automatically. “God fucking yes.”
“How badly?”
“Really, really, badly.” Taekyeon looks at Changmin through narrowed eyes. “What’s the point of these questions?”
“I’m going to Seattle in a few days for something,” Changmin informs him, leaning closer to Taekyeon and lowering his voice. “And I was … curious.”
“You’re going to Seattle…”
“Yes,” Changmin answers. “And I was wondering … if you wanted me to pass a message along, you know?”
“Yeah,” Taekyeon says, letting it sink it. “Yeah, I’d like that.”
Changmin smiles at him and reaches out across the table to grab Taekyeon’s hand. When their hands touch, Taekyeon swears he sees the sparks fly off their skin and if Changmin noticed he says nothing. Taekyeon starts to realise that he’s leaning in closer, so close in fact that the table is starting to become a real problem for him.
“Hey, Taekyeon-”
“Do you like me?” Taekyeon asks quickly, stumbling over his words - he’s not sure if he said it in English or Korean or gibberish.
Taekyeon watches as Changmin’s face stills, and then by some form of miracle the corners of Changmin’s lips turn upward. His eyes crinkle, one eye completely disappearing and he nods his head. He nods his head, and then somehow their foreheads touch and Taekyeon angles his face.
Their lips only touch for a brief second but in that one second, that one second of sheer perfection and blood rushing through his veins like lightening, Taekyeon finally understands the phrase I’m so happy I could die.
“On second thought,” Taekyeon says, “can’t you stuff me in your suit case instead?”
“I’d need a really big suitcase,” Changmin deadpans.
“We should go luggage shopping!”
“How about we could stay here.”
“There’s all sorts of luggage-”
“I’d prefer to stay here-”
“I’m excited! Let’s go!”
Taekyeon hauls Changmin to his feet and pushes him out the door of the coffee shop. As they wander the streets of Seoul, Taekyeon makes sure he doesn’t let go of Changmin’s hand. He makes sure to show Changmin that he’s here, here, here and it’s where he’ll always be. He supposes Changmin is trying to tell him the same thing, because his fingers are curled tightly around Taekyeon’s hand - a firm grip on his heart.
(He’s still upset that he hasn’t had the chance to ask Changmin about the beast between the sheets question. He’ll keep that question stored deep within the recesses of his brain for future reference.)