JayKhun: one two three & four
Title: one two three & four
Rating: PG-13
Fandom: 2PM
Pairing: Jaebum/Nichkhun, friendship
Word Count: 9, 554
Summary: AU: Anyband Verse, Jaebum escapes from prison with the help of Nichkhun.
Notes: uhm, this is my take on Anyband, it's slightly twisted and i'm not really sure it fits into the verse tbh, lol. but we'll just call it anyband verse to save me the headache (: also, i apologize for how horrendously long this is! i fear if i look at it anymore i'll just angst and whine some more about it ): i could be persuaded to write a sequel though.
one two three & four
He’s not all too sure when he started calling this stupid excuse of a cell a home. He lost track of time two weeks of being sent to the city prison. Was it two weeks? Two days? Months? Years? Has a year even passed since his arrest?
Jaebum’s not sure.
This feeling of uncertainty is one he’s come to frequently feel, one that he’s gotten used to enough that it becomes second nature. Staying in this cell Jaebum is only sure of one thing: he’s going senile. He only has his thoughts to keep him company, the day and night officers that guard his cell door aren’t that big of a help.
After all, communication is forbidden.
*
There are things about the city prison that makes Nichkhun’s skin crawl with fear. The city prison only houses the prisoners that the government wants under lock and key for eternity. The higher level up the prisoner is the more dangerous. Nichkhun always questioned their definition of dangerous, not that he ever said anything about it in the first place.
Nichkhun doesn’t speak much. Not because he has nothing to say, but because his mouth is soiled with words that the government doesn’t want to be spoken. Nichkhun knows what happens to those that go against the government - shot, dead at the officer’s feet before mercy can escape desperate lips. He’s seen it happen one too many times, it’s why he’s here - cooped up in a hell hole where he sleeps during the day, poking his head out only at night.
He hates the outside world - or what’s left of it. The President gets a sick pleasure watching the lower level prisoners march along the streets, silent but mouthing words that She recites over and over again. No one goes out these days because they don’t want to be caught up in the marching of the prisoners as they go off to the fields or construction sites to work. Not that many people still live in the inner city anyway, only those brave enough - or cowardly.
As for Nichkhun there’s nowhere else for him to call home.
*
Sometimes, Jaebum pretends that the voices in his head are real and they’re not a figment of his imagination. He’ll go along with them because it makes him feel alive again. Jaebum scoffs at the word - alive. He definitely isn’t alive anymore; being alive meant that he’d be among the living. Too bad he’s not.
But god, these voices, these voices sound like the family who left him behind. He hears them in his head stringing words together that sound like stay strong and I believe in you and fight for our dream. When Jaebum closes his eyes just before sleep takes him, the voices become stronger and he’s filled with hope and a sudden spirit of foolishness he never knew he possessed. He thinks I can do it, I can do it as he drifts off to sleep, dreaming of the Blue House and what could have been.
By morning, though, everything is gone.
*
Nichkhun has become nocturnal ever since he’s come to live at the prison. He supposes he should be thankful. He’s clothed and fed and has a place to sleep - yet, he might as well be a prisoner. Except he has no record and no cuffs that bind him to this gloomy building, only a contract and fear that cuts deep into his gut.
He wears his uniform on every day, alternating between the grey and the navy blue that has his name sewed into the denim fabric in black thread. Nichkhun doesn’t remember what happened to the clothes that he used to own before the new government came into power, he’s not even sure if he still has them. Locked away? Maybe.
At night, Nichkhun will come out of his living quarters and take out the supplies he needs from the broom closet. He attaches a black trash bag to his cart, piling cleaning supplies around the cart and starts pushing it down the hallway. And when the officers walk by he hangs his head low, cheeks burning and colouring because they’re important, whereas he’s not, and he’s just embarrassed.
*
Jaebum likes to think he was put behind a steel door because he did something to change the world, he did something that made everyone terrified enough to say hey, this kid is dangerous, let’s cuff him! Jaebum likes to think these things, likes to make up different scenarios that fit better with his arrest than with what actually took place.
But at night, when he hears the officers switch off on their shifts and he closes his eyes to try to sleep, there’s no more acting or pretending. It’s back to that fateful day again, back to being on the streets with his brother and his mother watching the new President on the podium, giving his dream speech to the Republic of Korea. Jaebum is watching his father in awe, his mouth slightly open because he looks like the hero that Jaebum had always been looking for.
And, as his father is wrapping up his acceptance speech for presidency, Jaebum hears the gunshots go off. It all happens in slow motion - the bullet piercing through his father’s new suit; the splatter of blood hitting him in the face, seeping into the black thread of the fabric; his father’s hand gripping at his chest, falling onto his knees; the second bullet ringing past Jaebum’s ears, cutting through skin and embedding itself into a wrinkled temple. Jaebum jumps forward a second too late, pushing his father onto the ground on his back. His hands are everywhere frantically, touching his father’s face and chest and skin and grabbing at black and white and red material.
Jaebum is screaming at the top of his lungs, watching the life die away in his father’s eyes right in front of him.
When Jaebum closes his eyes late at night, he can see the life die over and over and over again.
*
Ever since the assassination of President Park Jungmin the government took a turn for the worst. The city turned dead, everyone rushing to the countryside but even then that was useless. The government took everyone captive; the only ones allowed to walk free were the politicians and their families. Everyone else worked in factories and called them home … or sent to prison.
In the beginning they had been ‘merciful’, were told they had 200 words to use per day. They monitored the word count, sent officers after those that went over the limit. Their orders were shoot to kill - Nichkhun remembers this perfectly.
He had gone over the word limit by accident. He hadn’t been paying attention to his word count monitor attached to his chest, realising only a minute too late when his brother grabbed his name tag and switched it with his own.
Nichkhun remembers his confusion, how realisation slowly dawned on him as the sirens in the factory went off and the officers in charge of the building came out of nowhere. They were in front of his brother in an instant. Nichkhun’s struggling against the officers holding him back, he wants to scream and shout but one of them has a hand covering his mouth, whispering in his ear telling him shut up, shut up, kid or they’ll take away your life too.
And then he hears it - the gunshot loud and clear. The last thing he sees is his brother’s bloody body as he faints. He wakes up he’s in a hospital. The nurse checks his temperature and then leaves, coming back moments later with a tall man in a black suit.
“Your name is Nichkhun, correct?” he asks and Nichkhun nods.
This tall man talks about his brother like he’s filth, and it takes all of Nichkhun’s self control to keep him from jumping out of the bed and beating the guy to a pulp. The tall man talks and talks about being sorry for Nichkhun’s loss but its government policy and it’s the law - nothing Nichkhun does can change that. He then goes on to explain the new law that has been put into place - no talk, no play, no love.
He offers Nichkhun a job at the city prison as a janitor because: “you have no other choice, son. Your family is dead, correct?”
*
After his father died, Jaebum became head of the household. He was the son of the late President Park Jungmin; the title somehow manifested itself next to Jaebum’s name minutes after his father’s death. He’d walk around the Blue House and those who visited to pay their respects whispered Park Jaebum, son of the late President Park Jungmin.
That’s how it used to be at least. They got kicked to the curb after his father’s funeral… and that’s when things took a turn for the worst. Jaebum remembers how the Vice President came into power, turned everything his father had promised into dust. Jaebum remembers the day when the Vice President came on the TV announcing the new laws, taking everything the citizens of Korea have ever known into just a distant memory.
Everything is just a distant memory now. Like Jehan running into the streets one afternoon while Jaebum’s in a meeting with the new President. Jehan running into the streets with a gun in his hand, screaming bloody murder at the top of his lungs, screaming for the assassins of their father to come out and shoot him, shoot me damn it.
He’d been alerted after the meeting. Jaebum can still picture running down the hallway and out the doors, into the car and screaming for his driver to hurry up, hurry up. Jaebum’s yelling into his phone, telling them to tell the officers to hold their fire - tell them to hold their fucking fire! I’m coming, I’ll deal with him okay? Hold your fucking fir -
Jaebum can still hear the whoosh-bang of the bullet through the phone, his heart will still race as he thinks about it, replays it over and over and over. When he gets out of the car his legs are shaking as he walks towards his brother’s dead body. The police step out of the way as Jaebum moves past them and he’s on his knees, touching Jehan’s face and pulling him close.
As he holds Jehan’s dead body to his, it’s hard for Jaebum not to think of his father.
*
The day after the second son of the late President dies, the wife disappears. The government is thrown into a panic because she’s still the First Lady, the new President can’t stake his political claim unless the First Lady hands it over to him on national television. Nichkhun knows this because the officers whisper about it as they walk down the halls at night, and he follows them from behind. Walking slowly, pushing his cart filled with cleaning supplies as quietly as he can. He tries to pick up their words - government … panic … President … furious - but in the end, Nichkhun has to turn the corner to avoid being punished for eavesdropping.
Nichkhun remembers leaving the city prison one night to stock up on cleaning supplies. His boss hands him just enough money to buy them, nothing more than that. His boss is old, balding with a round belly and chest hair protruding from his opened button up shirt. He sneers at Nichkhun as he turns around.
“Remember, kid, you should be thankful,” he says, voice rough and scratching at Nichkhun’s gut, “you work for the government, you’re allowed to speak freely compared to the filth out there.”
Nichkhun smiles, nodding, whispers, “Yes, sir, I’ll keep this in mind.”
“Good.”
When he closes the door behind him, Nichkhun clutches at his chest gasping for air. Nichkhun knows a threat when he hears one - he’s not as stupid as everyone thinks he is. He knows the meaning behind his boss’ words - praise who you work for, talk about their wonders and the good they’re doing, talk before they come after you.
Nichkhun’s not sure if he can talk… he can’t lie. He doesn’t know how.
*
Two days after his brother dies his mother disappears. Jaebum is at a loss for words when he wakes up the next morning to find her gone. He’s standing in the middle of her room, clutching the piece of paper in his hand tightly. The words I’m sorry that inks the paper bleeds into his hand, flows through the blood in his veins and it’s hard for Jaebum to shake it out. He’s filled with anger, betrayal … hurt.
All he can think is why didn’t you take me too?
The Vice President is in a panic, constantly calling and asking Jaebum if he’s found word on his mother. And Jaebum grits his teeth, so hard so hard, saying no, not yet, we’re still trying. Jaebum wants to think that the Vice President is genuinely concerned, wants to think that his people are helping them out too …
He turns on the TV late at night after the fourth day of searching for his mother. He wishes he hadn’t. The words still flash in his mind occasionally - Jung Jooyeon, First Lady found dead in a car accident.
Jaebum doesn’t remember how he arrived at the morgue, just that he got there with a feeling of dread wrapping itself around him. He’ll always remember the old guy pulling open a door of some sort, sliding a body out that’s burned to a crisp - unrecognizable. Jaebum is shaking as he says, no, this can’t be my mother.
He still remembers the flash of the name tag Jang Wooyoung on the lab coat of the guy who hands him his mother’s favourite pearl necklace.
“She was wearing this when they found her.”
Jaebum takes it from the other man’s hands, fingering the necklace between his forefinger and thumb. He observes the black ash that coats the pearls, can still feel the heat as it pulses through his skin. Closing his eyes, Jaebum tries to hold in his emotions, tries to keep himself in check.
All gone … all gone.
Everyone.
*
It becomes a habit for Nichkhun to leave the city prison to stock up on cleaning supplies, something of a habit for him to reply Yes, they treat me well when shop keepers ask how the government treats their employees. They’re all spies, Nichkhun knows this but he pretends that he doesn’t.
He’ll forever remember coming back from his last pit stop to find the First Lady huddled in a bush next to the prison. He thinks his eyes are deceiving him at first - didn’t she die? Wasn’t her son arrested for conspiracy against the former President, his father - her husband?
“You,” she says when she finally notices him creeping up behind her, “do not breathe a word of meeting me here, do you understand?”
Nichkhun doesn’t understand but he nods anyway.
“Good.” She studies Nichkhun closely, her eyes roaming over his body, carefully taking note of his janitor’s uniform making Nichkhun uncomfortable.
“I - erm-”
“I will tell you something, boy, so listen carefully.” She moves closer to him, her hair wild from the wind and her clothes marked with grass stains and mud, her eyes lined with old age. “There’s a rebellion in the making, six months from now something big is going to happen…”
“A rebellion-what-”
“Hush, I’m not done, boy.”
“I’m sorry.” Nichkhun bows instinctively.
“The rebellion is an underground movement comprised of people who hate what our country has turned into ever since my husband’s death.” She places both hands around Nichkhun’s neck, forcefully bringing him down so that they’re at eye-level. “We’re going to restore order.”
She lets go of Nichkhun, looking back at the prison one last time before walking away quickly towards the direction of the forest.
“Wait!” Nichkhun calls out to her, dropping all of his belongings onto the ground. “Wait, take me too! I can’t stay here anymore, I need to get-”
“No,” she tells him, turning around to face him one last time. “No, you’ll have to wait until it’s your turn.”
“My turn? What? What’s the point of telling me about the rebellion if I can’t come with you!”
She smiles softly, a smile he’s seen only on his own mother’s face. “You have someone to save first before you can follow me.”
“How do I know if I should trust you on this…”
“You never know what happens when you trust someone blindly, but if you do so, you’ll be surprised at what happens.”
Nichkhun doesn’t have words as he watches her walk, walk, walk, run.
It’s been four and a half months since that happened… Nichkhun still doesn’t know who he’s saving.
*
Jaebum remembers getting arrested like it just happened yesterday. Waking up to cold water being splashed on his face and rough, calloused hands grabbing at his wrists, and the cool metal being slapped forcefully on him. Jaebum is confused, shouting and yelling at the officers surrounding him with their guns, pointing at him like a criminal.
“Park Jaebum, you are under arrest for the assassination of former President Park Jungmin-”
“Are you kidding me? Murder my own fath-”
“-his late son Park Jehan and his wife Jung Jooyeon-”
“-this is a joke! A fucking conspiracy-”
“-as well as conspiracy against the new President.”
Everything after that is a blur. They’re not giving him the death sentence; they’re just keeping him under lock and key for his entire life. Letting him shrivel up and die in a fucking jail cell and Jaebum has to congratulate them. Their sentence has Jaebum losing his mind, which is probably what they wanted anyway.
But Jaebum knows the real reason that his ass is sitting in prison. The President was scared that Jaebum would decide to overthrow him one day, that one day Jaebum would get over his father’s death and decide to come after that abandoned dream.
He’s right.
Whatever hope he had of taking over his father’s presidency is over, gone because he’s trapped with no way out.
*
The first time Nichkhun is hit with a clue as to who he’s to save is on the twenty-third day of the fourth month nearing the sixth month. On that night, one of the officers guarding the only cell up on level six bumps into Nichkhun by accident. Surprisingly, it’s not Nichkhun that’s bowing profusely in apology - it’s the officer. Nichkhun accepts the apology, giving one of his own with a small smile.
The officer leaves and Nichkhun notices he drops a piece of paper on the floor. Picking it up, he turns around expecting to see the officer so he can return it but the officer is long gone. He looks around him to see if anyone is watching; spotting no one he opens the folded piece of paper. He’s surprised by what’s written on it that he quickly folds it back up and pockets it. He goes about his cleaning duties with his hands shaking.
When he finally finishes his shift, he hurries to his apartment. He’s not stupid; he knows that there are cameras in his apartment to monitor his actions. However, Nichkhun knows two spots in his apartment that the cameras don’t reach. He closes all his blinds like he does before he goes to sleep, making his room entirely pitched black.
Instead of going to bed, however, he walks over to the corner of his apartment where the bookshelf used to sit but is now replaced by a coffee table. Climbing onto the wood of the coffee table, he stands on it, pressing himself as close as he can to the smooth, white of the wall. Trying not to make his movements jerky, he slowly takes the paper out of his pocket. He opens it slowly, taking out the flash-light key chain from his other pocket and shining it carefully over the paper.
Nichkhun’s lips turn upward when he sees what’s on the paper. It’s filled with directions -pictures and instructions. The map tells him how to escape out of the prison without notice. But then he notices something on the map - he has to escape from the sixth floor…
The escape route connects to the only jail cell on the sixth floor.
*
Jaebum is surprised when a piece of paper is slipped under his door one night. He doesn’t know what possesses him to pick it up and walk over to where he knows the camera can’t record him. He stands on top of his pathetic excuse of a bed, pressing himself close to the cold brick, holding the piece of paper up to the moonlight so he can read. Jaebum frowns when he sees what’s written - tell me your name.
*
Nichkhun is ecstatic when he realises just who he’s going to save. He now understands what the First Lady meant by who he was…he was Park Jaebum, her son. Nichkhun starts planning their escape together, pushes pieces of paper in Jaebum’s jail cell at night and receives a response by the time his shift is done. If anyone questions why he’s double checking the sixth floor well … they’ll have to question why he double checks all floors. He’s surprised when his boss calls him in one day to tell him that they’ve been watching him on the camera lately.
At first they had thought his behaviour was suspicious but now they understand it as Nichkhun being careful and finally starting to care about his work here at the prison. Nichkhun doesn’t contradict him, just smiles and nods his head, never once opening his mouth to speak. He doesn’t trust himself to lie to them, he’ll probably end up spilling all of his escape plans out in a matter of two minutes … probably landing himself in a jail cell next to Jaebum.
In the end, he gets a raise for his ‘hard work’. Nichkhun smiles, accepting the cheque that has his week’s worth of monies with an added ten cents. Nichkhun cashes the cheque on his next and last outing. He gathers up all the cleaning supplies that he needs, also buying things that are small enough to fit in pockets in case of emergencies. He buys a flask that fits in a pouch that goes around his waist, taking another one for Jaebum.
When he returns back to the prison he gets ready for his night shift, his last night shift. They planned this perfectly … nothing can go wrong.
There is a broom closet on the sixth floor that has a small door underneath the last shelf of cleaning supplies. Nichkhun manoeuvres himself so that the door ends up closing behind him by accident. He looks back at the closed door, mentally saying goodbye to his old life and crouches down on his knees. He prods the small door, knocking on it three times like they planned and then pushing it open.
“Wait,” he hears someone say, voice hoarse and unused. “Wait a sec the camera can see you come out from there.”
“The camera can detect movement,” Nichkhun tells the person on the other end. “Move to the spot where it can give you the fullest shot and I’ll run to the place where it can’t get me.”
“That’s going to be hard.” He hears Jaebum sigh. “The place where the camera doesn’t touch is on the other side of the room.”
Nichkhun swallows. “I can make a run for it.”
“Do you run fast?”
“Like lightening.”
“Why do I get the feeling that you’re lying to me?”
“I … I’m not?”
“Fine,” Jaebum gives in with a sigh, “just run as fast as you can.”
Nichkhun takes a deep breath, pushing the door open and bolting for the bed that’s within his line of vision. He jumps on top hastily, feeling his breathing hitch when the bed starts to sway under his weight.
“I did it,” Nichkhun whispers. “I did it.”
“Good.”
Looking up Nichkhun sees Jaebum for the first time. Well, not really for the first time. He remembers him from the times he saw him on TV with his family, but this is the first time he sees the other man in person. Jaebum is short compared to Nichkhun, but he’s built where Nichkhun lacks the muscles. Jaebum’s face is cold, pinched into harshness as he studies Nichkhun from the other side of the room. Nichkhun notices one thing about Jaebum that stands out the most - he looks exactly like his mother.
“Where’s the escape route?”
Jaebum nods to the wall next to him. “Do you have the map?”
Nodding his head, Nichkhun pats his pocket. “Right here.”
“All right.” Jaebum takes a deep breath, wringing his hands together. “Let’s do this.”
*
They’re in the tunnel by the time the sirens in the prison go off. Jaebum is on his hands and knees, following Nichkhun around the pitch black.
“Are you sure you know where you’re going?”
“Yes, I’m 100% sure.”
Jaebum sighs as he follows. He remembers why he started trusting Nichkhun in the first place.
Why should I trust you?
You never know what happens when you trust someone blindly, but if you do so, you’ll be surprised at what happens.
Jaebum knows these words like the back of his hand, they’re words that his mother has said to him time and time again. Jaebum clutches at his nose as he bumps into Nichkhun from behind.
“What the hell?”
“We’re here.” Nichkhun breaths, turning around to look at Jaebum. “We’re at the exit.”
*
Nichkhun knows the instructions for their escape inside and out. He’s looked at it so many times the words are burned into the back of his eyes. They were to move at night, never during the day because it made them easier to spot. They also had to stick to the shadows, always stick to the shadows. It’d take three days to get to the end of the city and even then they couldn’t escape through the city gates.
“Are you ready?” he whispers, hand on the iron poles.
He feels someone squeeze his shoulder. “Let’s get out of here.”
Nichkhun pushes the gate open, holding his breath, half expecting officers to stick their guns in to capture them. No one is there, so Nichkhun steps out cautiously, grateful that a bush is covering their exit. Once he’s out of the tunnel he turns and helps Jaebum to his feet.
“Let’s go,” Jaebum says, pointing to their left where Nichkhun remembers seeing the First Lady.
Nichkhun nods, sticking close to the shadows of the building as he follows Jaebum’s figure. He can feel the blood rushing to his head as he tries to block out the whining sirens and the flashing lights. There are helicopters above them, shining light everywhere and Nichkhun is praying, praying that they don’t get spotted.
They get to the edge of the building and Nichkhun’s eyes look around the area, feeling panic start to set in for the first time.
“We’re going to have to run for the fence,” Jaebum tells him. “D’you think it’s locked?”
“Yeah.” Nichkhun breathes. “We could always jump?”
“Yeah right,” Jaebum snaps, biting his lip as he studies the fence. “Do you see those things on top of the bar? They’ll rip off everything you hold precious.”
Ow, Nichkhun thinks, wincing. “Well, what do you think we should do?” He looks around them and the sirens are getting louder and louder. “We don’t really have that much time, Jaebum-sshi.”
“Quit with the formalities, I told you that!” Jaebum huffs, still studying the fence. “Wait, wait - look-” he points to the edge of the fence - “do you see that? The light just shone there a couple seconds ago, there’s a rip in the fence.”
“A rip? Like, we can walk through it?”
Jaebum shrugs. “I think so.”
“Do we have another choice?” Nichkhun swallows the lump in his throat, thinking about the run from their spot to the fence. He starts praying to the unknown gods that he doesn’t trip over his own feet.
“Unless you want to jump over the fence?” Jaebum points to the fence and freezes as the spotlight touches the tip of his finger. He turns to look at Nichkhun who’s looking at him with wide eyes.
Nichkhun barely manages to croak out an oh shit when he hears the blare of Jaebum’s name said over the dark sky, the heat of the spotlight blazing down on the two of them.
“Shit, shit, shit,” Jaebum yells and starts running towards the fence, Nichkhun on his heels.
Nichkhun doesn’t know how long it takes them to get to the fence, but they get there and he’s looking around as the officers start to stream out of the building, running towards them. The spotlight is still shining on them, Jaebum’s name is still being blasted into the night and Nichkhun is staring helplessly as Jaebum tries to pry open the fence even further. Nichkhun reaches out to help, his fingers only grazing the tip of the soft metal when Jaebum pulls hard, wildly in every direction and the fence rips enough that Jaebum is able to slip through the opening.
Nichkhun follows his lead, watching over his feet as he tries to make sure he doesn’t trip. He can feel the blood pounding in his ears as he runs behind Jaebum, looking back every few seconds and he ends up tripping over his own feet, running up the hill. He falls hard, hands covering his face in a panic, elbows jamming into the dried mud. Nichkhun screams in protest, struggling to stand up as he looks back and sees the police making their way through the opening in the fence.
A strong hand grabs at the back of his shirt collar, pulling him upward and Nichkhun is on his feet. He looks at Jaebum who’s pulling him roughly, yelling, “Fuck come on, hurry up! They’re right behind us, man!”
That’s all it takes for Nichkhun to start running after Jaebum, into the woods that surrounds the back of the prison. Once they get to the edge, Jaebum hesitates. Nichkhun stops running after a while, realising that he’s no longer being led. He jogs back to Jaebum, tugging on his wrist as he rummages for something in his pocket. He produces a small flashlight, which twists at the top and beams bright light that begins to lead their way into the woods.
“Come on,” Nichkhun mutters and starts running again when he hears the crunch of leaves and the snapping of twigs that aren’t caused because of him or Jaebum. “They’ll get us if we don’t start moving.”
Jaebum breathes heavily but doesn’t say anything and follows Nichkhun deep into the woods.
*
If Jaebum is honest with himself he’ll admit that he’s terrified of the dark, especially when he can’t see shit and there’s birds that hoot and take up the silence of the night. He’s thankful Nichkhun is there because he’d probably turn himself in out of fear of being alone in the middle of nowhere.
Jaebum watches as Nichkhun shines a light over the map, then points it around the woods and starts running in whatever direction. Jaebum doesn’t know where they’re going. He hasn’t really gotten a good look at the map and it’s not like he’d be useful, anyway. He’s terrible with maps and his sense of direction doesn’t exist.
“Do you think they stopped following us?” Jaebum asks, looking around as he follows. “I haven’t heard anything behind us for a while now.”
“Maybe.” Nichkhun puffs out a breath, turning his head around to smile at Jaebum. “Do you really think they’d stop looking for their precious prisoner?”
Jaebum snorts lightly, as he begins to jog next to Nichkhun. “You know where you’re going?”
Nichkhun stops and stands in the middle of the pathway that’s covered with dried leaves and broken twigs. He’s shining his flashlight over the map again, biting at the edge of his lip.
“Need help?”
“Uhm,” Nichkhun says and gestures for Jaebum to come closer, “this is where we are right now, I think. And this-” he points to the left of the map - “is where we need to be by the time daylight hits.”
“Shit,” Jaebum curses as he holds onto a piece of the map, “that’s a long way.”
“Uhhuh, which is why we need to keep moving.” Nichkhun points the flashlight up ahead and motions to Jaebum to follow him. “Let’s go.”
Jaebum starts up a jog again, listening to the heavy breathing of Nichkhun who’s ahead of him. Jaebum wants to ask Nichkhun if they can stop for a second, stop because he wants to take this time to finally acknowledge the fact that he’s free. And god, it feels good to be free. To finally be able to breathe air that’s not his recycled a dozen times and more, to finally taste the cold lick of the wind after many months of being locked up in a tower. As Jaebum runs next to Nichkhun, he starts to smile, his first real smile in months.
He’s free.
*
By the time daylight breaks they’re at the edge of the forest and Nichkhun is silently praising himself on leading the both of them out. Jaebum is clapping a hand on Nichkhun’s shoulder smiling, and says, “Good job, man.”
“Thanks,” Nichkhun responds and looks around them. “Where should we go?”
Jaebum shrugs and points to Nichkhun’s pocket. “What does it say?”
Nichkhun frowns, taking out the map and looking at it. He feels Jaebum press close to him, peering over his arm to take a look at the map. The directions on the side read stay in the cabin that’s three miles east of your exit from the woods.
“Looks like we’re going to a cabin,” Nichkhun says matter-of-factly, taking out his compass and goes back to where they had been standing before. After a few seconds he looks up, pointing to his left and Jaebum falls beside him quietly.
“Do you think we should run?” Jaebum asks after a while, looking behind him. “They’re still searching for us.”
“I know,” Nichkhun replies as he looks back as well. “The sirens have stopped though… She’s gone back to saying no talk, no play, no love.”
“Who’s she? You mean the voice?”
Nichkhun nods. “She says it during the day, only stopping when it falls dark because most people are back in their homes by then.”
Jaebum is silent as they walk, Nichkhun figures he’s processing what he just said. It takes a while to get used to the voice repeating the mantra over and over and over again. No one in the prison hears it because the employees converse with one another, but the message is still enforced on the prisoners and those out there who work in the factories. Nichkhun has walked in on an officer punishing a prisoner for talking; simply saying he had to go to the bathroom. He tries not to relive that memory in his head.
“How long has it been this way?”
Nichkhun shrugs in response. “I don’t really know, to be quite honest with you. I’ve gotten used to Her.”
“General time frame?”
“Around the time of your arrest,” Nichkhun answers after some thought. “It’s something you get used to.”
“You mean you’re used to this shit?” Jaebum turns to Nichkhun with a disgusted look on his face. “I mean, I can barely hear this chick repeating no talk, no play, no love anymore, but it hasn’t stopped being repeated in my head.”
“That’s the goal, isn’t it? The more it’s drilled into your brain the more you’re going to repeat it, the more you’re going to remember and then you’ll start to follow along.”
“That’s fucked up.”
“Indeed.”
They fall silent, trudging along the path that has scattered leaves and less dried mud and more cement. After some time they reach the cabin and Nichkhun is wringing his hands when Jaebum volunteers to open the door. Nichkhun jumps a little when the door squeaks, and the wood underneath Jaebum’s foot wavers under his weight.
“It’s all right, Nichkhun,” Jaebum says, walking into the cabin.
Nichkhun is hesitant but follows, closing the door behind him. The cabin is empty with nowhere to hide because everything is just open space and a small wooden table that sits next to the window. Everything is covered in dust and Nichkhun stops Jaebum from running his fingers against the table.
“Don’t,” he says, “they’ll notice if they come in here.”
Jaebum nods and starts to walk around the cabin. He turns to look back at Nichkhun with furrowed eyebrows. “Where are we going to hide?”
Nichkhun is faster than Jaebum because his hand is in his pocket, already fumbling with the map. He skims over the brief instructions and curses when there’s nothing about where they should hide. Nichkhun walks over to Jaebum, pausing in the middle of the cabin with a frown on his face.
“Did you hear that?” Nichkhun bounces on the balls of his feet on the spot he’s standing in.
“No…” Jaebum approaches Nichkhun. “Hear what?”
Nichkhun smirks, bending down, rapping his knuckles on the wood.
“It’s hollow,” Jaebum whispers and he’s on his hands and knees as fast as lightening, ear pressed to the wood as Nichkhun continues knocking.
“Where are you, where are you, where are you,” Nichkhun mutters, huffing just as Jaebum makes an exasperated noise.
“Any luck?” Jaebum asks after a few minutes of the both of them knocking on the wood, seeking the opening of the trap door.
“Nope.” Nichkhun pushes his fingers in between the floorboards, freezing with his fingers poised over the wood when he hears shouting from outside. His eyes snap to Jaebum who is worrying at his lip, scowling at the window that has sunlight streaming in through the glass.
“We have to hurry,” Jaebum says, frantically knocking and pushing digits at the wood, “they’re going to find us and there is no fucking way I’m going back to that jail cell.”
“I think I found it! I found it!” Nichkhun exclaims, pushing an index finger between a loose floor board and pulling it up. They watch in awe as the pitch black tunnel appears before them, a rope hanging from the floor board.
“Grab it, go first.” Nichkhun points to the rope, urging Jaebum to move faster as the other man takes the rope between his hands.
Watching Jaebum grab onto the rope feels like eternity, and Nichkhun is looking around the cabin frantically. Jaebum is sliding down the rope and Nichkhun is half expecting the wood to break in half but it doesn’t. He hears Jaebum land with a thump and the rope is swinging in the air. The rope is rough between his hands as Nichkhun grabs onto it. He takes one last look around the cabin and pushes off the ground, into the darkness of the tunnel.
Nichkhun is half expecting the rope to hold his weight but the wood snaps shut above him and he topples on top of Jaebum. He feels his face land in the crook of Jaebum’s neck, hands clutching at Jaebum’s shoulders, legs splayed around the other man’s body.
“Sorry,” Nichkhun says, cheeks colouring. “I didn’t think that would happen.”
“No problem,” Jaebum replies, gasping for breath.
The two get to their feet, Nichkhun offering a hand to help Jaebum off the ground. He fumbles for the map in his pocket, taking it out along with the flash light.
“Well?”
“We’re in the right place,” Nichkhun says with a smile. “I think we should sleep though.”
Jaebum tries to cover up his yawn with his hand, shaking his head. “No, we’ve got to keep moving. I bet those officers are-” He stops in the middle of his sentence when the door to the cabin creaks open.
The voices above them are muffled but it’s easy to make out the words.
“Are they here?”
“Doesn’t look like it.”
Nichkhun is fumbling with the map and his flashlight, eyes scanning the smudged ink on wrinkled paper. He takes out his compass, legs shaking as he walks to the entrance of the tunnel from the cabin. Taking deep breaths as he stares at the moving arrow, he’s mumbling, “C’mon, c’mon, faster, faster,” and Jaebum is next to him, breathing on his arm just as anxious.
After a while, he nods his head to the left - the darkest of the three tunnels in front of them - and starts to lead Jaebum.
*
Jaebum is glad when Nichkhun stops walking. He’s tired and hungry and thirsty. And, just like some sort of God, Nichkhun hands Jaebum a small flask.
“I forgot to give this to you in our rush,” Nichkhun tells him sheepishly. “It’s water.”
Like a dying man, Jaebum opens the lid in two seconds.
“Don’t drink all of it,” Nichkhun says, “these flasks are our only supply of water until we get there.”
Jaebum automatically spits the water in his mouth back into the flask, hoping that Nichkhun doesn’t notice. He wipes his lips with the back of his hand, watching Nichkhun take a few sips from his flask.
“Where exactly is there?” Jaebum asks. “I mean, you say ‘there’ all the time - in the notes and stuff, but you never really specified where it is.”
“There is … it’s where the rebellion is,” Nichkhun answers, sitting down on a rock, leaning against the dirt walls of the tunnel.
“That’s it?”
“That’s it.”
“I see.” Jaebum doesn’t bother to hide the disappointment in his voice. He hopes that he’s not being led on a wild goose chase, finding nothing in the end.
“I can understand if you think I’m crazy or something,” Nichkhun says just as the silence starts to get awkward. “But-” he worries at his lip, turning to look at Jaebum who’s watching him calmly - “six months ago I saw your mother outside the prison.”
“What?” Jaebum exclaims, standing up suddenly. “You’re lying! My mother’s dead.”
Nichkhun shakes his head. “No, I saw her with my own two eyes. She’s alive, Jaebum, she’s alive and she told me that there’s a rebellion.”
“What the hell! No, I can’t - no.”
Nichkhun gets up from his perch on the rock and grabs Jaebum by the shoulders. “Listen, do I look like I’m a good liar?”
Jaebum purses his lips, looking at Nichkhun’s face, pushing him away afterwards with curses lining the tip of his tongue. “Fuck, you’re serious.”
He doesn’t see him but Jaebum knows that Nichkhun is nodding his head. “I saw your mom and she said there’s a rebellion, in six months something big will happen … I couldn’t follow her then because I had to save someone, Jaebum.”
Jaebum just wants Nichkhun to shut up, stop talking because Nichkhun is giving him hope. Hope that he’s hidden away, locked inside him ever since those cuffs were slapped on his wrists.
“Nichkhun, please,” Jaebum whispers as he sits on the opposite side of the tunnel, “please drop it. I can’t … I can’t listen to you talk about her right now.”
“I understand but you’ve got to believe me on this! I’m not making it up!”
“I know,” Jaebum tells him and he closes his eyes. “Let’s just get some rest before moving on.”
*
Nichkhun shakes Jaebum awake, smiling when the other man opens his eyes to stare at him. “Wake up, we need to keep moving.”
Jaebum yawns and gets up on his feet. Nichkhun is surprised that he doesn’t complain, just follows Nichkhun down the tunnel wiping the sleep from his eyes.
“About what you said yesterday,” Jaebum starts and Nichkhun is holding his breath, “what was that something big?”
“I’m not sure, though I think it was you escaping from the prison.”
“Took you six months to figure out you were supposed to break me out?”
“No!” Nichkhun says quickly, frowning as he hears Jaebum snicker. “I figured it out when I sent you that note.”
“Two months ago?”
Nichkhun nods. “Four months for me.”
“How’d you figure out?”
“I bumped into one of the officers and I found this on me.” He holds up the map to Jaebum who stops walking. “What?”
“Are you saying that an officer gave you that map?”
“No, I bumped into him - what are you thinking, Jaebum?” He shines the flash light on Jaebum’s face who doesn’t look too happy. He’s looking behind him and realisation dawns on Nichkhun. “No, no, that’s definitely not the case. They aren’t setting us up or anything - Jaebum! Listen, okay, we’re fine. We’re fine.”
Nichkhun keeps talking, if only to assure himself that this isn’t a set up. His hand that’s holding the map is shaking and he stops when he feels the heat from Jaebum’s hand grab at his wrist.
“Okay, man, stop it,” Jaebum says, prying the map from Nichkhun’s fingers and bringing his face to eye-level. “We have no other choice but to keep going on. We’re already half way there.”
Nichkhun swallows, nodding his head as he looks into Jaebum’s eyes. “Right. You’re right. You’re absolutely right.”
“Let’s go,” Jaebum says, tugging at Nichkhun’s wrist and walking down the tunnel. It doesn’t concern Nichkhun that Jaebum’s grip on Nichkhun’s wrist doesn’t loosen, even when he hands him back the map.
*
It’s nightfall when they get to the end of the tunnel. They come out of it, figuring out it was a cave all this time. Jaebum had long since let go of Nichkhun’s wrist but he still feels the heat in his palm. Looking down at his jail clothes he frowns, dusting off the dirt even though he knows it’s a fruitless effort. He glances at Nichkhun who’s wearing his janitor’s uniform. Jaebum hides the smile with a light cough, swinging his arms around him as Nichkhun figures out where to go from here.
He follows when Nichkhun points to the right. “So, how’d you end up as a janitor?”
Nichkhun shrugs. “No choice. Some guy came offered me the job after my brother died since I had no family left.”
Jaebum’s lips form a silent oh sound, nodding his head as he walks. Death is a touchy subject; Jaebum doesn’t like talking about it so he doesn’t press Nichkhun for details. They continue walking in silence, Jaebum following and Nichkhun leading. They stick to the shadows, avoiding all contact with the moonlight up above.
After a while Jaebum blurts out, “I’m innocent,” wincing as the words leave his lips. He shouldn’t have said it; he thinks and is immediately forming an apology.
“I know,” Nichkhun replies and the apology stops dead on Jaebum’s lips.
“How?”
“I heard talk from some of the officers,” he says by way of explanation, “I don’t think you’d kill your whole family.”
“How are you so sure?” Jaebum frowns. “I could jump on you at this second, kill you and steal the map.”
Nichkhun laughs, shining the light in Jaebum’s face. “You won’t because you can’t tell which way you’re going.”
Jaebum sputters indignantly. “Yes I can!”
“No you can’t.” Nichkhun holds up the map to Jaebum’s face. “If you knew which way we were going you’d have helped me out ages ago.”
Jaebum is silent and then says, “Yeah … well, how do you know I won’t kill you when we get to where we’re supposed to be?”
“I don’t.” Nichkhun shrugs and continues on. “We’ll just have to wait and see if you will, I guess.”
Jaebum grins, and as he follows Nichkhun from behind, pressing their backs up against a tree, he decides that he likes Nichkhun.
*
They’re silent, pushing their bodies up against the brick of the walls that attach to the gates, leading to the outside of the city. The spotlights are bright, beaming light on the gates making it impossible to run across to the other side. Nichkhun is whispering back and forth, planning with Jaebum until they finally decide to skirt around the trees, and then making a run for it.
Nichkhun leads the way, his heart is beating so hard and so loud, Nichkhun is sure they’ll get caught. He manoeuvres himself quickly around the trees, and just as he’s about to make a run for it he feels a hand on his shoulder. Turning he sees Jaebum, looking at him with worried eyes and pursed lips.
“Good luck,” he whispers, shoving Nichkhun lightly forward. Nichkhun takes a deep breath and makes a run for it, he wants to close his eyes but they’re wide open. He’s half expecting to trip over his feet, but he doesn’t and ends up on the other side safely. Moments later Jaebum is next to him, breathing heavily hands grabbing onto his shoulders for support.
“God, I think I’m going to be sick,” Jaebum murmurs against Nichkhun’s shoulder. Nichkhun rubs his back for a moment.
“Okay, let’s keep moving. Look for the hut.”
They stick to the shadows again, Nichkhun keeping a lookout for the hut. He feels a tug at his wrist and turns to look to where Jaebum is pointing. He follows, relieved when Jaebum pushes open the door to the hut. They both squeeze inside quickly, not saying anything about the small space.
“Don’t tell me we have to go into another tunnel,” Jaebum mutters when Nichkhun bends down and starts rapping at the wood.
Nichkhun doesn’t say anything, only looking up when Jaebum yelps in surprise.
“What happened?”
Jaebum doesn’t answer as he pushes the wall he had been leaning against. The wall swings open, leading to the outside and Jaebum gingerly steps forward, Nichkhun at his heels. When they exit, Nichkhun closes the wall shut.
“Nichkhun,” Jaebum whispers in excitement, “we’re out of the city.”
Nichkhun grins and turns to Jaebum who’s staring at him with wide eyes. “Quick, quick, check the map!”
Taking it out, he reads the last direction, frowning.
“What is it?”
“There’s nothing after passing the hut.”
“What?” Jaebum swipes at the map, peering at it. He swears momentarily and Nichkhun cringes. “What the hell are we going to do now?”
“I don’t know,” Nichkhun replies, suddenly feeling useless. “God, I’m so sorry, Jaebum. I don’t even know - oh God, what if this is a trap or something oh god.”
“It’s not.”
Nichkhun freezes, looking at Jaebum whose eyes are as wide as they can possibly get. They both turn to find a man dressed in regular clothing - jeans, jacket and a beanie on his head, flash light in hand.
“Welcome to the Rebellion,” he says, flipping the flash light in his hand. “My name’s Seulong.”
Nichkhun squints in the darkness. “Seulong? Im Seulong?”
“Yes, that’s right,” Seulong replies, stepping closer and as he does so, Nichkhun hears Jaebum move closer to him. “Who are - Nichan?”
“No, his brother … Nichkhun.”
In the darkness, Nichkhun can make out the huge smile on Seulong’s face as he approaches. And, Nichkhun will admit, it’s comforting to see a familiar face. It’s on instinct that his arms wrap around Seulong’s tall frame, pulling him close like he’d seen Nichan done to him many times in a previous life.
“Where’s-” Seulong peers behind Nichkhun to see Jaebum - “oh, I’m sorry, Khun.”
Nichkhun waves it off with his hand and a smile. “Don’t worry about it.”
Seulong nods, puts a comforting hand on Nichkhun’s shoulder. He takes a step back and shines his light on Jaebum.
“It’s good to see you alive, Park Jaebum-sshi,” he says. “Come on, let’s get moving. There’s someone waiting for you back at headquarters.”
“Is it … my mother?” Jaebum asks, feeling helpless as Nichkhun tugs on his wrist, slipping a comforting hand around his own with a smile.
“Yeah,” Seulong answers as they walk next to the trees. “She’s been waiting.”
*
They get to the headquarters of the Rebellion without a hitch. Seulong is surprisingly chatty and Jaebum likes him enough. Seulong talks about the plans that have been set in motion to overthrow the government, one of them being Jaebum’s escape from prison.
“It’s just the tip of the iceberg,” Seulong says excitedly, one hand in his pocket while the other lighting their way. “With Jaebum-sshi gone they’ll start to crack.”
“What if we hadn’t escaped?” Jaebum asks, shivering from the cold of the night, “what if Nichkhun didn’t figure out who he had to save?”
“Oh, but he did, didn’t he?” Seulong gives the both of them a knowing look. “You’ll have to thank the officer who gave you that map.”
“I told you that officer gave it to you,” Jaebum hisses at Nichkhun, who frowns.
Seulong laughs. “He was supposed to. You’ll have to thank Taek for that, Khun.”
“Duly noted,” Nichkhun mutters, and Seulong continues to laugh while Jaebum hides his snicker with a cough.
Seulong knocks on the door once, twice, three times and then stops. He knocks again, harder and quicker, pausing only to knock once more but very light. The door opens within seconds and Seulong motions for them to follow him.
Jaebum enters and is surprised by the bright light so he squints, his hand letting go of Nichkhun’s. As his eyes adjust to the light Jaebum realises that there are people staring at him. He looks around and recognizes one of them instantly.
“Chansung? Hwang Chansung?” he says and the kid stands up, grinning from ear to ear like a maniac.
“Hyung,” Chansung says, “you’re just in time for the good stuff!”
Jaebum’s smiling as he reaches up to ruffle the kid’s hair but only does so half-heartedly. “You’re still the same, kid.”
He looks around the room some more and he recognizes the famous singer - Kim Junsu his mind supplies - and there, at the very back of the room he sees her. She still looks the same as she did all those months ago, and he chokes back the tears as she rushes towards him.
“Thank God you’re here,” she says, pulling him close. “I’ve missed you.”
And as Jaebum wraps his arms around his mother’s thin body, he doesn’t think about the times ahead that he knows will be hard. He just thinks about this moment, how for two months and the past few days had all been worth it just seeing her face, knowing that she’s alive.
*
Nichkhun comes out of the shower, feeling cleaner than he had in years. He’s wearing fresh clothes that’s not his janitor’s uniform. There’s a knock at the door and it opens before he has the chance to tell the person to come in.
Jaebum enters and he’s out of his jail uniform, looking brighter than he had the past few days.
“Hey, what do you want to do with this?” He holds up Nichkhun’s janitor uniform, laughing when Nichkhun grabs it and throws it to the ground.
“Burn it, I can’t even look at it.”
Jaebum chuckles some more and the silence fills the space between the both of them. “Hey, Nichkhun, I just wanted to say thank you.”
“For what?”
Jaebum rolls his eyes. “You know, for busting me out of that jail cell and leading me here.”
“Oh … that.” Nichkhun shrugs his shoulders as he sits on the bed. “No problem, you don’t have to thank me. I just did what I had to do, that’s it.”
“Still,” Jaebum says forcefully, “still … you could’ve just left me by myself or something-”
“C’mon, man, you know I wouldn’t have do-”
“You could’ve and you didn’t, and I’m thanking you so just take it.” Jaebum’s cheeks are slightly colouring and Nichkhun smiles.
“Okay,” he says finally, “okay, you’re welcome.”
Jaebum nods his head and motions for Nichkhun to make room for him on the bed. Nichkhun shifts just as the mattress sinks with Jaebum’s added weight.
“You know it’s not going to be easy from here on out?”
“Yeah, figured as much,” Nichkhun replies with a sigh.
“You don’t have to-”
“Jaebum, shut up,” Nichkhun says, laughing at the surprised look on the other man’s face. He nudges their shoulders together. “I just broke you out of prison, what could be harder than that?”
Jaebum’s lips twitch as he rolls his eyes. He stands up, clapping a hand on Nichkhun’s shoulder. “You never know. C’mon, they’re making dinner and for once it isn’t prison food.”
Nichkhun gets to feet following Jaebum out the door. And, as they both join the Rebellion meeting that’s taking place in the kitchen, Nichkhun can’t help but think he’s found a place to call home. He stares at the back of Jaebum’s head and decides that no matter what happens in the future, what other trials and tribulations that were to come, it wouldn’t matter - he’s finally happy. And right now in this moment, he believes that’s all that matters.
(Because they’re both free.)
Rating: PG-13
Fandom: 2PM
Pairing: Jaebum/Nichkhun, friendship
Word Count: 9, 554
Summary: AU: Anyband Verse, Jaebum escapes from prison with the help of Nichkhun.
Notes: uhm, this is my take on Anyband, it's slightly twisted and i'm not really sure it fits into the verse tbh, lol. but we'll just call it anyband verse to save me the headache (: also, i apologize for how horrendously long this is! i fear if i look at it anymore i'll just angst and whine some more about it ): i could be persuaded to write a sequel though.
one two three & four
He’s not all too sure when he started calling this stupid excuse of a cell a home. He lost track of time two weeks of being sent to the city prison. Was it two weeks? Two days? Months? Years? Has a year even passed since his arrest?
Jaebum’s not sure.
This feeling of uncertainty is one he’s come to frequently feel, one that he’s gotten used to enough that it becomes second nature. Staying in this cell Jaebum is only sure of one thing: he’s going senile. He only has his thoughts to keep him company, the day and night officers that guard his cell door aren’t that big of a help.
After all, communication is forbidden.
*
There are things about the city prison that makes Nichkhun’s skin crawl with fear. The city prison only houses the prisoners that the government wants under lock and key for eternity. The higher level up the prisoner is the more dangerous. Nichkhun always questioned their definition of dangerous, not that he ever said anything about it in the first place.
Nichkhun doesn’t speak much. Not because he has nothing to say, but because his mouth is soiled with words that the government doesn’t want to be spoken. Nichkhun knows what happens to those that go against the government - shot, dead at the officer’s feet before mercy can escape desperate lips. He’s seen it happen one too many times, it’s why he’s here - cooped up in a hell hole where he sleeps during the day, poking his head out only at night.
He hates the outside world - or what’s left of it. The President gets a sick pleasure watching the lower level prisoners march along the streets, silent but mouthing words that She recites over and over again. No one goes out these days because they don’t want to be caught up in the marching of the prisoners as they go off to the fields or construction sites to work. Not that many people still live in the inner city anyway, only those brave enough - or cowardly.
As for Nichkhun there’s nowhere else for him to call home.
*
Sometimes, Jaebum pretends that the voices in his head are real and they’re not a figment of his imagination. He’ll go along with them because it makes him feel alive again. Jaebum scoffs at the word - alive. He definitely isn’t alive anymore; being alive meant that he’d be among the living. Too bad he’s not.
But god, these voices, these voices sound like the family who left him behind. He hears them in his head stringing words together that sound like stay strong and I believe in you and fight for our dream. When Jaebum closes his eyes just before sleep takes him, the voices become stronger and he’s filled with hope and a sudden spirit of foolishness he never knew he possessed. He thinks I can do it, I can do it as he drifts off to sleep, dreaming of the Blue House and what could have been.
By morning, though, everything is gone.
*
Nichkhun has become nocturnal ever since he’s come to live at the prison. He supposes he should be thankful. He’s clothed and fed and has a place to sleep - yet, he might as well be a prisoner. Except he has no record and no cuffs that bind him to this gloomy building, only a contract and fear that cuts deep into his gut.
He wears his uniform on every day, alternating between the grey and the navy blue that has his name sewed into the denim fabric in black thread. Nichkhun doesn’t remember what happened to the clothes that he used to own before the new government came into power, he’s not even sure if he still has them. Locked away? Maybe.
At night, Nichkhun will come out of his living quarters and take out the supplies he needs from the broom closet. He attaches a black trash bag to his cart, piling cleaning supplies around the cart and starts pushing it down the hallway. And when the officers walk by he hangs his head low, cheeks burning and colouring because they’re important, whereas he’s not, and he’s just embarrassed.
*
Jaebum likes to think he was put behind a steel door because he did something to change the world, he did something that made everyone terrified enough to say hey, this kid is dangerous, let’s cuff him! Jaebum likes to think these things, likes to make up different scenarios that fit better with his arrest than with what actually took place.
But at night, when he hears the officers switch off on their shifts and he closes his eyes to try to sleep, there’s no more acting or pretending. It’s back to that fateful day again, back to being on the streets with his brother and his mother watching the new President on the podium, giving his dream speech to the Republic of Korea. Jaebum is watching his father in awe, his mouth slightly open because he looks like the hero that Jaebum had always been looking for.
And, as his father is wrapping up his acceptance speech for presidency, Jaebum hears the gunshots go off. It all happens in slow motion - the bullet piercing through his father’s new suit; the splatter of blood hitting him in the face, seeping into the black thread of the fabric; his father’s hand gripping at his chest, falling onto his knees; the second bullet ringing past Jaebum’s ears, cutting through skin and embedding itself into a wrinkled temple. Jaebum jumps forward a second too late, pushing his father onto the ground on his back. His hands are everywhere frantically, touching his father’s face and chest and skin and grabbing at black and white and red material.
Jaebum is screaming at the top of his lungs, watching the life die away in his father’s eyes right in front of him.
When Jaebum closes his eyes late at night, he can see the life die over and over and over again.
*
Ever since the assassination of President Park Jungmin the government took a turn for the worst. The city turned dead, everyone rushing to the countryside but even then that was useless. The government took everyone captive; the only ones allowed to walk free were the politicians and their families. Everyone else worked in factories and called them home … or sent to prison.
In the beginning they had been ‘merciful’, were told they had 200 words to use per day. They monitored the word count, sent officers after those that went over the limit. Their orders were shoot to kill - Nichkhun remembers this perfectly.
He had gone over the word limit by accident. He hadn’t been paying attention to his word count monitor attached to his chest, realising only a minute too late when his brother grabbed his name tag and switched it with his own.
Nichkhun remembers his confusion, how realisation slowly dawned on him as the sirens in the factory went off and the officers in charge of the building came out of nowhere. They were in front of his brother in an instant. Nichkhun’s struggling against the officers holding him back, he wants to scream and shout but one of them has a hand covering his mouth, whispering in his ear telling him shut up, shut up, kid or they’ll take away your life too.
And then he hears it - the gunshot loud and clear. The last thing he sees is his brother’s bloody body as he faints. He wakes up he’s in a hospital. The nurse checks his temperature and then leaves, coming back moments later with a tall man in a black suit.
“Your name is Nichkhun, correct?” he asks and Nichkhun nods.
This tall man talks about his brother like he’s filth, and it takes all of Nichkhun’s self control to keep him from jumping out of the bed and beating the guy to a pulp. The tall man talks and talks about being sorry for Nichkhun’s loss but its government policy and it’s the law - nothing Nichkhun does can change that. He then goes on to explain the new law that has been put into place - no talk, no play, no love.
He offers Nichkhun a job at the city prison as a janitor because: “you have no other choice, son. Your family is dead, correct?”
*
After his father died, Jaebum became head of the household. He was the son of the late President Park Jungmin; the title somehow manifested itself next to Jaebum’s name minutes after his father’s death. He’d walk around the Blue House and those who visited to pay their respects whispered Park Jaebum, son of the late President Park Jungmin.
That’s how it used to be at least. They got kicked to the curb after his father’s funeral… and that’s when things took a turn for the worst. Jaebum remembers how the Vice President came into power, turned everything his father had promised into dust. Jaebum remembers the day when the Vice President came on the TV announcing the new laws, taking everything the citizens of Korea have ever known into just a distant memory.
Everything is just a distant memory now. Like Jehan running into the streets one afternoon while Jaebum’s in a meeting with the new President. Jehan running into the streets with a gun in his hand, screaming bloody murder at the top of his lungs, screaming for the assassins of their father to come out and shoot him, shoot me damn it.
He’d been alerted after the meeting. Jaebum can still picture running down the hallway and out the doors, into the car and screaming for his driver to hurry up, hurry up. Jaebum’s yelling into his phone, telling them to tell the officers to hold their fire - tell them to hold their fucking fire! I’m coming, I’ll deal with him okay? Hold your fucking fir -
Jaebum can still hear the whoosh-bang of the bullet through the phone, his heart will still race as he thinks about it, replays it over and over and over. When he gets out of the car his legs are shaking as he walks towards his brother’s dead body. The police step out of the way as Jaebum moves past them and he’s on his knees, touching Jehan’s face and pulling him close.
As he holds Jehan’s dead body to his, it’s hard for Jaebum not to think of his father.
*
The day after the second son of the late President dies, the wife disappears. The government is thrown into a panic because she’s still the First Lady, the new President can’t stake his political claim unless the First Lady hands it over to him on national television. Nichkhun knows this because the officers whisper about it as they walk down the halls at night, and he follows them from behind. Walking slowly, pushing his cart filled with cleaning supplies as quietly as he can. He tries to pick up their words - government … panic … President … furious - but in the end, Nichkhun has to turn the corner to avoid being punished for eavesdropping.
Nichkhun remembers leaving the city prison one night to stock up on cleaning supplies. His boss hands him just enough money to buy them, nothing more than that. His boss is old, balding with a round belly and chest hair protruding from his opened button up shirt. He sneers at Nichkhun as he turns around.
“Remember, kid, you should be thankful,” he says, voice rough and scratching at Nichkhun’s gut, “you work for the government, you’re allowed to speak freely compared to the filth out there.”
Nichkhun smiles, nodding, whispers, “Yes, sir, I’ll keep this in mind.”
“Good.”
When he closes the door behind him, Nichkhun clutches at his chest gasping for air. Nichkhun knows a threat when he hears one - he’s not as stupid as everyone thinks he is. He knows the meaning behind his boss’ words - praise who you work for, talk about their wonders and the good they’re doing, talk before they come after you.
Nichkhun’s not sure if he can talk… he can’t lie. He doesn’t know how.
*
Two days after his brother dies his mother disappears. Jaebum is at a loss for words when he wakes up the next morning to find her gone. He’s standing in the middle of her room, clutching the piece of paper in his hand tightly. The words I’m sorry that inks the paper bleeds into his hand, flows through the blood in his veins and it’s hard for Jaebum to shake it out. He’s filled with anger, betrayal … hurt.
All he can think is why didn’t you take me too?
The Vice President is in a panic, constantly calling and asking Jaebum if he’s found word on his mother. And Jaebum grits his teeth, so hard so hard, saying no, not yet, we’re still trying. Jaebum wants to think that the Vice President is genuinely concerned, wants to think that his people are helping them out too …
He turns on the TV late at night after the fourth day of searching for his mother. He wishes he hadn’t. The words still flash in his mind occasionally - Jung Jooyeon, First Lady found dead in a car accident.
Jaebum doesn’t remember how he arrived at the morgue, just that he got there with a feeling of dread wrapping itself around him. He’ll always remember the old guy pulling open a door of some sort, sliding a body out that’s burned to a crisp - unrecognizable. Jaebum is shaking as he says, no, this can’t be my mother.
He still remembers the flash of the name tag Jang Wooyoung on the lab coat of the guy who hands him his mother’s favourite pearl necklace.
“She was wearing this when they found her.”
Jaebum takes it from the other man’s hands, fingering the necklace between his forefinger and thumb. He observes the black ash that coats the pearls, can still feel the heat as it pulses through his skin. Closing his eyes, Jaebum tries to hold in his emotions, tries to keep himself in check.
All gone … all gone.
Everyone.
*
It becomes a habit for Nichkhun to leave the city prison to stock up on cleaning supplies, something of a habit for him to reply Yes, they treat me well when shop keepers ask how the government treats their employees. They’re all spies, Nichkhun knows this but he pretends that he doesn’t.
He’ll forever remember coming back from his last pit stop to find the First Lady huddled in a bush next to the prison. He thinks his eyes are deceiving him at first - didn’t she die? Wasn’t her son arrested for conspiracy against the former President, his father - her husband?
“You,” she says when she finally notices him creeping up behind her, “do not breathe a word of meeting me here, do you understand?”
Nichkhun doesn’t understand but he nods anyway.
“Good.” She studies Nichkhun closely, her eyes roaming over his body, carefully taking note of his janitor’s uniform making Nichkhun uncomfortable.
“I - erm-”
“I will tell you something, boy, so listen carefully.” She moves closer to him, her hair wild from the wind and her clothes marked with grass stains and mud, her eyes lined with old age. “There’s a rebellion in the making, six months from now something big is going to happen…”
“A rebellion-what-”
“Hush, I’m not done, boy.”
“I’m sorry.” Nichkhun bows instinctively.
“The rebellion is an underground movement comprised of people who hate what our country has turned into ever since my husband’s death.” She places both hands around Nichkhun’s neck, forcefully bringing him down so that they’re at eye-level. “We’re going to restore order.”
She lets go of Nichkhun, looking back at the prison one last time before walking away quickly towards the direction of the forest.
“Wait!” Nichkhun calls out to her, dropping all of his belongings onto the ground. “Wait, take me too! I can’t stay here anymore, I need to get-”
“No,” she tells him, turning around to face him one last time. “No, you’ll have to wait until it’s your turn.”
“My turn? What? What’s the point of telling me about the rebellion if I can’t come with you!”
She smiles softly, a smile he’s seen only on his own mother’s face. “You have someone to save first before you can follow me.”
“How do I know if I should trust you on this…”
“You never know what happens when you trust someone blindly, but if you do so, you’ll be surprised at what happens.”
Nichkhun doesn’t have words as he watches her walk, walk, walk, run.
It’s been four and a half months since that happened… Nichkhun still doesn’t know who he’s saving.
*
Jaebum remembers getting arrested like it just happened yesterday. Waking up to cold water being splashed on his face and rough, calloused hands grabbing at his wrists, and the cool metal being slapped forcefully on him. Jaebum is confused, shouting and yelling at the officers surrounding him with their guns, pointing at him like a criminal.
“Park Jaebum, you are under arrest for the assassination of former President Park Jungmin-”
“Are you kidding me? Murder my own fath-”
“-his late son Park Jehan and his wife Jung Jooyeon-”
“-this is a joke! A fucking conspiracy-”
“-as well as conspiracy against the new President.”
Everything after that is a blur. They’re not giving him the death sentence; they’re just keeping him under lock and key for his entire life. Letting him shrivel up and die in a fucking jail cell and Jaebum has to congratulate them. Their sentence has Jaebum losing his mind, which is probably what they wanted anyway.
But Jaebum knows the real reason that his ass is sitting in prison. The President was scared that Jaebum would decide to overthrow him one day, that one day Jaebum would get over his father’s death and decide to come after that abandoned dream.
He’s right.
Whatever hope he had of taking over his father’s presidency is over, gone because he’s trapped with no way out.
*
The first time Nichkhun is hit with a clue as to who he’s to save is on the twenty-third day of the fourth month nearing the sixth month. On that night, one of the officers guarding the only cell up on level six bumps into Nichkhun by accident. Surprisingly, it’s not Nichkhun that’s bowing profusely in apology - it’s the officer. Nichkhun accepts the apology, giving one of his own with a small smile.
The officer leaves and Nichkhun notices he drops a piece of paper on the floor. Picking it up, he turns around expecting to see the officer so he can return it but the officer is long gone. He looks around him to see if anyone is watching; spotting no one he opens the folded piece of paper. He’s surprised by what’s written on it that he quickly folds it back up and pockets it. He goes about his cleaning duties with his hands shaking.
When he finally finishes his shift, he hurries to his apartment. He’s not stupid; he knows that there are cameras in his apartment to monitor his actions. However, Nichkhun knows two spots in his apartment that the cameras don’t reach. He closes all his blinds like he does before he goes to sleep, making his room entirely pitched black.
Instead of going to bed, however, he walks over to the corner of his apartment where the bookshelf used to sit but is now replaced by a coffee table. Climbing onto the wood of the coffee table, he stands on it, pressing himself as close as he can to the smooth, white of the wall. Trying not to make his movements jerky, he slowly takes the paper out of his pocket. He opens it slowly, taking out the flash-light key chain from his other pocket and shining it carefully over the paper.
Nichkhun’s lips turn upward when he sees what’s on the paper. It’s filled with directions -pictures and instructions. The map tells him how to escape out of the prison without notice. But then he notices something on the map - he has to escape from the sixth floor…
The escape route connects to the only jail cell on the sixth floor.
*
Jaebum is surprised when a piece of paper is slipped under his door one night. He doesn’t know what possesses him to pick it up and walk over to where he knows the camera can’t record him. He stands on top of his pathetic excuse of a bed, pressing himself close to the cold brick, holding the piece of paper up to the moonlight so he can read. Jaebum frowns when he sees what’s written - tell me your name.
*
Nichkhun is ecstatic when he realises just who he’s going to save. He now understands what the First Lady meant by who he was…he was Park Jaebum, her son. Nichkhun starts planning their escape together, pushes pieces of paper in Jaebum’s jail cell at night and receives a response by the time his shift is done. If anyone questions why he’s double checking the sixth floor well … they’ll have to question why he double checks all floors. He’s surprised when his boss calls him in one day to tell him that they’ve been watching him on the camera lately.
At first they had thought his behaviour was suspicious but now they understand it as Nichkhun being careful and finally starting to care about his work here at the prison. Nichkhun doesn’t contradict him, just smiles and nods his head, never once opening his mouth to speak. He doesn’t trust himself to lie to them, he’ll probably end up spilling all of his escape plans out in a matter of two minutes … probably landing himself in a jail cell next to Jaebum.
In the end, he gets a raise for his ‘hard work’. Nichkhun smiles, accepting the cheque that has his week’s worth of monies with an added ten cents. Nichkhun cashes the cheque on his next and last outing. He gathers up all the cleaning supplies that he needs, also buying things that are small enough to fit in pockets in case of emergencies. He buys a flask that fits in a pouch that goes around his waist, taking another one for Jaebum.
When he returns back to the prison he gets ready for his night shift, his last night shift. They planned this perfectly … nothing can go wrong.
There is a broom closet on the sixth floor that has a small door underneath the last shelf of cleaning supplies. Nichkhun manoeuvres himself so that the door ends up closing behind him by accident. He looks back at the closed door, mentally saying goodbye to his old life and crouches down on his knees. He prods the small door, knocking on it three times like they planned and then pushing it open.
“Wait,” he hears someone say, voice hoarse and unused. “Wait a sec the camera can see you come out from there.”
“The camera can detect movement,” Nichkhun tells the person on the other end. “Move to the spot where it can give you the fullest shot and I’ll run to the place where it can’t get me.”
“That’s going to be hard.” He hears Jaebum sigh. “The place where the camera doesn’t touch is on the other side of the room.”
Nichkhun swallows. “I can make a run for it.”
“Do you run fast?”
“Like lightening.”
“Why do I get the feeling that you’re lying to me?”
“I … I’m not?”
“Fine,” Jaebum gives in with a sigh, “just run as fast as you can.”
Nichkhun takes a deep breath, pushing the door open and bolting for the bed that’s within his line of vision. He jumps on top hastily, feeling his breathing hitch when the bed starts to sway under his weight.
“I did it,” Nichkhun whispers. “I did it.”
“Good.”
Looking up Nichkhun sees Jaebum for the first time. Well, not really for the first time. He remembers him from the times he saw him on TV with his family, but this is the first time he sees the other man in person. Jaebum is short compared to Nichkhun, but he’s built where Nichkhun lacks the muscles. Jaebum’s face is cold, pinched into harshness as he studies Nichkhun from the other side of the room. Nichkhun notices one thing about Jaebum that stands out the most - he looks exactly like his mother.
“Where’s the escape route?”
Jaebum nods to the wall next to him. “Do you have the map?”
Nodding his head, Nichkhun pats his pocket. “Right here.”
“All right.” Jaebum takes a deep breath, wringing his hands together. “Let’s do this.”
*
They’re in the tunnel by the time the sirens in the prison go off. Jaebum is on his hands and knees, following Nichkhun around the pitch black.
“Are you sure you know where you’re going?”
“Yes, I’m 100% sure.”
Jaebum sighs as he follows. He remembers why he started trusting Nichkhun in the first place.
Why should I trust you?
You never know what happens when you trust someone blindly, but if you do so, you’ll be surprised at what happens.
Jaebum knows these words like the back of his hand, they’re words that his mother has said to him time and time again. Jaebum clutches at his nose as he bumps into Nichkhun from behind.
“What the hell?”
“We’re here.” Nichkhun breaths, turning around to look at Jaebum. “We’re at the exit.”
*
Nichkhun knows the instructions for their escape inside and out. He’s looked at it so many times the words are burned into the back of his eyes. They were to move at night, never during the day because it made them easier to spot. They also had to stick to the shadows, always stick to the shadows. It’d take three days to get to the end of the city and even then they couldn’t escape through the city gates.
“Are you ready?” he whispers, hand on the iron poles.
He feels someone squeeze his shoulder. “Let’s get out of here.”
Nichkhun pushes the gate open, holding his breath, half expecting officers to stick their guns in to capture them. No one is there, so Nichkhun steps out cautiously, grateful that a bush is covering their exit. Once he’s out of the tunnel he turns and helps Jaebum to his feet.
“Let’s go,” Jaebum says, pointing to their left where Nichkhun remembers seeing the First Lady.
Nichkhun nods, sticking close to the shadows of the building as he follows Jaebum’s figure. He can feel the blood rushing to his head as he tries to block out the whining sirens and the flashing lights. There are helicopters above them, shining light everywhere and Nichkhun is praying, praying that they don’t get spotted.
They get to the edge of the building and Nichkhun’s eyes look around the area, feeling panic start to set in for the first time.
“We’re going to have to run for the fence,” Jaebum tells him. “D’you think it’s locked?”
“Yeah.” Nichkhun breathes. “We could always jump?”
“Yeah right,” Jaebum snaps, biting his lip as he studies the fence. “Do you see those things on top of the bar? They’ll rip off everything you hold precious.”
Ow, Nichkhun thinks, wincing. “Well, what do you think we should do?” He looks around them and the sirens are getting louder and louder. “We don’t really have that much time, Jaebum-sshi.”
“Quit with the formalities, I told you that!” Jaebum huffs, still studying the fence. “Wait, wait - look-” he points to the edge of the fence - “do you see that? The light just shone there a couple seconds ago, there’s a rip in the fence.”
“A rip? Like, we can walk through it?”
Jaebum shrugs. “I think so.”
“Do we have another choice?” Nichkhun swallows the lump in his throat, thinking about the run from their spot to the fence. He starts praying to the unknown gods that he doesn’t trip over his own feet.
“Unless you want to jump over the fence?” Jaebum points to the fence and freezes as the spotlight touches the tip of his finger. He turns to look at Nichkhun who’s looking at him with wide eyes.
Nichkhun barely manages to croak out an oh shit when he hears the blare of Jaebum’s name said over the dark sky, the heat of the spotlight blazing down on the two of them.
“Shit, shit, shit,” Jaebum yells and starts running towards the fence, Nichkhun on his heels.
Nichkhun doesn’t know how long it takes them to get to the fence, but they get there and he’s looking around as the officers start to stream out of the building, running towards them. The spotlight is still shining on them, Jaebum’s name is still being blasted into the night and Nichkhun is staring helplessly as Jaebum tries to pry open the fence even further. Nichkhun reaches out to help, his fingers only grazing the tip of the soft metal when Jaebum pulls hard, wildly in every direction and the fence rips enough that Jaebum is able to slip through the opening.
Nichkhun follows his lead, watching over his feet as he tries to make sure he doesn’t trip. He can feel the blood pounding in his ears as he runs behind Jaebum, looking back every few seconds and he ends up tripping over his own feet, running up the hill. He falls hard, hands covering his face in a panic, elbows jamming into the dried mud. Nichkhun screams in protest, struggling to stand up as he looks back and sees the police making their way through the opening in the fence.
A strong hand grabs at the back of his shirt collar, pulling him upward and Nichkhun is on his feet. He looks at Jaebum who’s pulling him roughly, yelling, “Fuck come on, hurry up! They’re right behind us, man!”
That’s all it takes for Nichkhun to start running after Jaebum, into the woods that surrounds the back of the prison. Once they get to the edge, Jaebum hesitates. Nichkhun stops running after a while, realising that he’s no longer being led. He jogs back to Jaebum, tugging on his wrist as he rummages for something in his pocket. He produces a small flashlight, which twists at the top and beams bright light that begins to lead their way into the woods.
“Come on,” Nichkhun mutters and starts running again when he hears the crunch of leaves and the snapping of twigs that aren’t caused because of him or Jaebum. “They’ll get us if we don’t start moving.”
Jaebum breathes heavily but doesn’t say anything and follows Nichkhun deep into the woods.
*
If Jaebum is honest with himself he’ll admit that he’s terrified of the dark, especially when he can’t see shit and there’s birds that hoot and take up the silence of the night. He’s thankful Nichkhun is there because he’d probably turn himself in out of fear of being alone in the middle of nowhere.
Jaebum watches as Nichkhun shines a light over the map, then points it around the woods and starts running in whatever direction. Jaebum doesn’t know where they’re going. He hasn’t really gotten a good look at the map and it’s not like he’d be useful, anyway. He’s terrible with maps and his sense of direction doesn’t exist.
“Do you think they stopped following us?” Jaebum asks, looking around as he follows. “I haven’t heard anything behind us for a while now.”
“Maybe.” Nichkhun puffs out a breath, turning his head around to smile at Jaebum. “Do you really think they’d stop looking for their precious prisoner?”
Jaebum snorts lightly, as he begins to jog next to Nichkhun. “You know where you’re going?”
Nichkhun stops and stands in the middle of the pathway that’s covered with dried leaves and broken twigs. He’s shining his flashlight over the map again, biting at the edge of his lip.
“Need help?”
“Uhm,” Nichkhun says and gestures for Jaebum to come closer, “this is where we are right now, I think. And this-” he points to the left of the map - “is where we need to be by the time daylight hits.”
“Shit,” Jaebum curses as he holds onto a piece of the map, “that’s a long way.”
“Uhhuh, which is why we need to keep moving.” Nichkhun points the flashlight up ahead and motions to Jaebum to follow him. “Let’s go.”
Jaebum starts up a jog again, listening to the heavy breathing of Nichkhun who’s ahead of him. Jaebum wants to ask Nichkhun if they can stop for a second, stop because he wants to take this time to finally acknowledge the fact that he’s free. And god, it feels good to be free. To finally be able to breathe air that’s not his recycled a dozen times and more, to finally taste the cold lick of the wind after many months of being locked up in a tower. As Jaebum runs next to Nichkhun, he starts to smile, his first real smile in months.
He’s free.
*
By the time daylight breaks they’re at the edge of the forest and Nichkhun is silently praising himself on leading the both of them out. Jaebum is clapping a hand on Nichkhun’s shoulder smiling, and says, “Good job, man.”
“Thanks,” Nichkhun responds and looks around them. “Where should we go?”
Jaebum shrugs and points to Nichkhun’s pocket. “What does it say?”
Nichkhun frowns, taking out the map and looking at it. He feels Jaebum press close to him, peering over his arm to take a look at the map. The directions on the side read stay in the cabin that’s three miles east of your exit from the woods.
“Looks like we’re going to a cabin,” Nichkhun says matter-of-factly, taking out his compass and goes back to where they had been standing before. After a few seconds he looks up, pointing to his left and Jaebum falls beside him quietly.
“Do you think we should run?” Jaebum asks after a while, looking behind him. “They’re still searching for us.”
“I know,” Nichkhun replies as he looks back as well. “The sirens have stopped though… She’s gone back to saying no talk, no play, no love.”
“Who’s she? You mean the voice?”
Nichkhun nods. “She says it during the day, only stopping when it falls dark because most people are back in their homes by then.”
Jaebum is silent as they walk, Nichkhun figures he’s processing what he just said. It takes a while to get used to the voice repeating the mantra over and over and over again. No one in the prison hears it because the employees converse with one another, but the message is still enforced on the prisoners and those out there who work in the factories. Nichkhun has walked in on an officer punishing a prisoner for talking; simply saying he had to go to the bathroom. He tries not to relive that memory in his head.
“How long has it been this way?”
Nichkhun shrugs in response. “I don’t really know, to be quite honest with you. I’ve gotten used to Her.”
“General time frame?”
“Around the time of your arrest,” Nichkhun answers after some thought. “It’s something you get used to.”
“You mean you’re used to this shit?” Jaebum turns to Nichkhun with a disgusted look on his face. “I mean, I can barely hear this chick repeating no talk, no play, no love anymore, but it hasn’t stopped being repeated in my head.”
“That’s the goal, isn’t it? The more it’s drilled into your brain the more you’re going to repeat it, the more you’re going to remember and then you’ll start to follow along.”
“That’s fucked up.”
“Indeed.”
They fall silent, trudging along the path that has scattered leaves and less dried mud and more cement. After some time they reach the cabin and Nichkhun is wringing his hands when Jaebum volunteers to open the door. Nichkhun jumps a little when the door squeaks, and the wood underneath Jaebum’s foot wavers under his weight.
“It’s all right, Nichkhun,” Jaebum says, walking into the cabin.
Nichkhun is hesitant but follows, closing the door behind him. The cabin is empty with nowhere to hide because everything is just open space and a small wooden table that sits next to the window. Everything is covered in dust and Nichkhun stops Jaebum from running his fingers against the table.
“Don’t,” he says, “they’ll notice if they come in here.”
Jaebum nods and starts to walk around the cabin. He turns to look back at Nichkhun with furrowed eyebrows. “Where are we going to hide?”
Nichkhun is faster than Jaebum because his hand is in his pocket, already fumbling with the map. He skims over the brief instructions and curses when there’s nothing about where they should hide. Nichkhun walks over to Jaebum, pausing in the middle of the cabin with a frown on his face.
“Did you hear that?” Nichkhun bounces on the balls of his feet on the spot he’s standing in.
“No…” Jaebum approaches Nichkhun. “Hear what?”
Nichkhun smirks, bending down, rapping his knuckles on the wood.
“It’s hollow,” Jaebum whispers and he’s on his hands and knees as fast as lightening, ear pressed to the wood as Nichkhun continues knocking.
“Where are you, where are you, where are you,” Nichkhun mutters, huffing just as Jaebum makes an exasperated noise.
“Any luck?” Jaebum asks after a few minutes of the both of them knocking on the wood, seeking the opening of the trap door.
“Nope.” Nichkhun pushes his fingers in between the floorboards, freezing with his fingers poised over the wood when he hears shouting from outside. His eyes snap to Jaebum who is worrying at his lip, scowling at the window that has sunlight streaming in through the glass.
“We have to hurry,” Jaebum says, frantically knocking and pushing digits at the wood, “they’re going to find us and there is no fucking way I’m going back to that jail cell.”
“I think I found it! I found it!” Nichkhun exclaims, pushing an index finger between a loose floor board and pulling it up. They watch in awe as the pitch black tunnel appears before them, a rope hanging from the floor board.
“Grab it, go first.” Nichkhun points to the rope, urging Jaebum to move faster as the other man takes the rope between his hands.
Watching Jaebum grab onto the rope feels like eternity, and Nichkhun is looking around the cabin frantically. Jaebum is sliding down the rope and Nichkhun is half expecting the wood to break in half but it doesn’t. He hears Jaebum land with a thump and the rope is swinging in the air. The rope is rough between his hands as Nichkhun grabs onto it. He takes one last look around the cabin and pushes off the ground, into the darkness of the tunnel.
Nichkhun is half expecting the rope to hold his weight but the wood snaps shut above him and he topples on top of Jaebum. He feels his face land in the crook of Jaebum’s neck, hands clutching at Jaebum’s shoulders, legs splayed around the other man’s body.
“Sorry,” Nichkhun says, cheeks colouring. “I didn’t think that would happen.”
“No problem,” Jaebum replies, gasping for breath.
The two get to their feet, Nichkhun offering a hand to help Jaebum off the ground. He fumbles for the map in his pocket, taking it out along with the flash light.
“Well?”
“We’re in the right place,” Nichkhun says with a smile. “I think we should sleep though.”
Jaebum tries to cover up his yawn with his hand, shaking his head. “No, we’ve got to keep moving. I bet those officers are-” He stops in the middle of his sentence when the door to the cabin creaks open.
The voices above them are muffled but it’s easy to make out the words.
“Are they here?”
“Doesn’t look like it.”
Nichkhun is fumbling with the map and his flashlight, eyes scanning the smudged ink on wrinkled paper. He takes out his compass, legs shaking as he walks to the entrance of the tunnel from the cabin. Taking deep breaths as he stares at the moving arrow, he’s mumbling, “C’mon, c’mon, faster, faster,” and Jaebum is next to him, breathing on his arm just as anxious.
After a while, he nods his head to the left - the darkest of the three tunnels in front of them - and starts to lead Jaebum.
*
Jaebum is glad when Nichkhun stops walking. He’s tired and hungry and thirsty. And, just like some sort of God, Nichkhun hands Jaebum a small flask.
“I forgot to give this to you in our rush,” Nichkhun tells him sheepishly. “It’s water.”
Like a dying man, Jaebum opens the lid in two seconds.
“Don’t drink all of it,” Nichkhun says, “these flasks are our only supply of water until we get there.”
Jaebum automatically spits the water in his mouth back into the flask, hoping that Nichkhun doesn’t notice. He wipes his lips with the back of his hand, watching Nichkhun take a few sips from his flask.
“Where exactly is there?” Jaebum asks. “I mean, you say ‘there’ all the time - in the notes and stuff, but you never really specified where it is.”
“There is … it’s where the rebellion is,” Nichkhun answers, sitting down on a rock, leaning against the dirt walls of the tunnel.
“That’s it?”
“That’s it.”
“I see.” Jaebum doesn’t bother to hide the disappointment in his voice. He hopes that he’s not being led on a wild goose chase, finding nothing in the end.
“I can understand if you think I’m crazy or something,” Nichkhun says just as the silence starts to get awkward. “But-” he worries at his lip, turning to look at Jaebum who’s watching him calmly - “six months ago I saw your mother outside the prison.”
“What?” Jaebum exclaims, standing up suddenly. “You’re lying! My mother’s dead.”
Nichkhun shakes his head. “No, I saw her with my own two eyes. She’s alive, Jaebum, she’s alive and she told me that there’s a rebellion.”
“What the hell! No, I can’t - no.”
Nichkhun gets up from his perch on the rock and grabs Jaebum by the shoulders. “Listen, do I look like I’m a good liar?”
Jaebum purses his lips, looking at Nichkhun’s face, pushing him away afterwards with curses lining the tip of his tongue. “Fuck, you’re serious.”
He doesn’t see him but Jaebum knows that Nichkhun is nodding his head. “I saw your mom and she said there’s a rebellion, in six months something big will happen … I couldn’t follow her then because I had to save someone, Jaebum.”
Jaebum just wants Nichkhun to shut up, stop talking because Nichkhun is giving him hope. Hope that he’s hidden away, locked inside him ever since those cuffs were slapped on his wrists.
“Nichkhun, please,” Jaebum whispers as he sits on the opposite side of the tunnel, “please drop it. I can’t … I can’t listen to you talk about her right now.”
“I understand but you’ve got to believe me on this! I’m not making it up!”
“I know,” Jaebum tells him and he closes his eyes. “Let’s just get some rest before moving on.”
*
Nichkhun shakes Jaebum awake, smiling when the other man opens his eyes to stare at him. “Wake up, we need to keep moving.”
Jaebum yawns and gets up on his feet. Nichkhun is surprised that he doesn’t complain, just follows Nichkhun down the tunnel wiping the sleep from his eyes.
“About what you said yesterday,” Jaebum starts and Nichkhun is holding his breath, “what was that something big?”
“I’m not sure, though I think it was you escaping from the prison.”
“Took you six months to figure out you were supposed to break me out?”
“No!” Nichkhun says quickly, frowning as he hears Jaebum snicker. “I figured it out when I sent you that note.”
“Two months ago?”
Nichkhun nods. “Four months for me.”
“How’d you figure out?”
“I bumped into one of the officers and I found this on me.” He holds up the map to Jaebum who stops walking. “What?”
“Are you saying that an officer gave you that map?”
“No, I bumped into him - what are you thinking, Jaebum?” He shines the flash light on Jaebum’s face who doesn’t look too happy. He’s looking behind him and realisation dawns on Nichkhun. “No, no, that’s definitely not the case. They aren’t setting us up or anything - Jaebum! Listen, okay, we’re fine. We’re fine.”
Nichkhun keeps talking, if only to assure himself that this isn’t a set up. His hand that’s holding the map is shaking and he stops when he feels the heat from Jaebum’s hand grab at his wrist.
“Okay, man, stop it,” Jaebum says, prying the map from Nichkhun’s fingers and bringing his face to eye-level. “We have no other choice but to keep going on. We’re already half way there.”
Nichkhun swallows, nodding his head as he looks into Jaebum’s eyes. “Right. You’re right. You’re absolutely right.”
“Let’s go,” Jaebum says, tugging at Nichkhun’s wrist and walking down the tunnel. It doesn’t concern Nichkhun that Jaebum’s grip on Nichkhun’s wrist doesn’t loosen, even when he hands him back the map.
*
It’s nightfall when they get to the end of the tunnel. They come out of it, figuring out it was a cave all this time. Jaebum had long since let go of Nichkhun’s wrist but he still feels the heat in his palm. Looking down at his jail clothes he frowns, dusting off the dirt even though he knows it’s a fruitless effort. He glances at Nichkhun who’s wearing his janitor’s uniform. Jaebum hides the smile with a light cough, swinging his arms around him as Nichkhun figures out where to go from here.
He follows when Nichkhun points to the right. “So, how’d you end up as a janitor?”
Nichkhun shrugs. “No choice. Some guy came offered me the job after my brother died since I had no family left.”
Jaebum’s lips form a silent oh sound, nodding his head as he walks. Death is a touchy subject; Jaebum doesn’t like talking about it so he doesn’t press Nichkhun for details. They continue walking in silence, Jaebum following and Nichkhun leading. They stick to the shadows, avoiding all contact with the moonlight up above.
After a while Jaebum blurts out, “I’m innocent,” wincing as the words leave his lips. He shouldn’t have said it; he thinks and is immediately forming an apology.
“I know,” Nichkhun replies and the apology stops dead on Jaebum’s lips.
“How?”
“I heard talk from some of the officers,” he says by way of explanation, “I don’t think you’d kill your whole family.”
“How are you so sure?” Jaebum frowns. “I could jump on you at this second, kill you and steal the map.”
Nichkhun laughs, shining the light in Jaebum’s face. “You won’t because you can’t tell which way you’re going.”
Jaebum sputters indignantly. “Yes I can!”
“No you can’t.” Nichkhun holds up the map to Jaebum’s face. “If you knew which way we were going you’d have helped me out ages ago.”
Jaebum is silent and then says, “Yeah … well, how do you know I won’t kill you when we get to where we’re supposed to be?”
“I don’t.” Nichkhun shrugs and continues on. “We’ll just have to wait and see if you will, I guess.”
Jaebum grins, and as he follows Nichkhun from behind, pressing their backs up against a tree, he decides that he likes Nichkhun.
*
They’re silent, pushing their bodies up against the brick of the walls that attach to the gates, leading to the outside of the city. The spotlights are bright, beaming light on the gates making it impossible to run across to the other side. Nichkhun is whispering back and forth, planning with Jaebum until they finally decide to skirt around the trees, and then making a run for it.
Nichkhun leads the way, his heart is beating so hard and so loud, Nichkhun is sure they’ll get caught. He manoeuvres himself quickly around the trees, and just as he’s about to make a run for it he feels a hand on his shoulder. Turning he sees Jaebum, looking at him with worried eyes and pursed lips.
“Good luck,” he whispers, shoving Nichkhun lightly forward. Nichkhun takes a deep breath and makes a run for it, he wants to close his eyes but they’re wide open. He’s half expecting to trip over his feet, but he doesn’t and ends up on the other side safely. Moments later Jaebum is next to him, breathing heavily hands grabbing onto his shoulders for support.
“God, I think I’m going to be sick,” Jaebum murmurs against Nichkhun’s shoulder. Nichkhun rubs his back for a moment.
“Okay, let’s keep moving. Look for the hut.”
They stick to the shadows again, Nichkhun keeping a lookout for the hut. He feels a tug at his wrist and turns to look to where Jaebum is pointing. He follows, relieved when Jaebum pushes open the door to the hut. They both squeeze inside quickly, not saying anything about the small space.
“Don’t tell me we have to go into another tunnel,” Jaebum mutters when Nichkhun bends down and starts rapping at the wood.
Nichkhun doesn’t say anything, only looking up when Jaebum yelps in surprise.
“What happened?”
Jaebum doesn’t answer as he pushes the wall he had been leaning against. The wall swings open, leading to the outside and Jaebum gingerly steps forward, Nichkhun at his heels. When they exit, Nichkhun closes the wall shut.
“Nichkhun,” Jaebum whispers in excitement, “we’re out of the city.”
Nichkhun grins and turns to Jaebum who’s staring at him with wide eyes. “Quick, quick, check the map!”
Taking it out, he reads the last direction, frowning.
“What is it?”
“There’s nothing after passing the hut.”
“What?” Jaebum swipes at the map, peering at it. He swears momentarily and Nichkhun cringes. “What the hell are we going to do now?”
“I don’t know,” Nichkhun replies, suddenly feeling useless. “God, I’m so sorry, Jaebum. I don’t even know - oh God, what if this is a trap or something oh god.”
“It’s not.”
Nichkhun freezes, looking at Jaebum whose eyes are as wide as they can possibly get. They both turn to find a man dressed in regular clothing - jeans, jacket and a beanie on his head, flash light in hand.
“Welcome to the Rebellion,” he says, flipping the flash light in his hand. “My name’s Seulong.”
Nichkhun squints in the darkness. “Seulong? Im Seulong?”
“Yes, that’s right,” Seulong replies, stepping closer and as he does so, Nichkhun hears Jaebum move closer to him. “Who are - Nichan?”
“No, his brother … Nichkhun.”
In the darkness, Nichkhun can make out the huge smile on Seulong’s face as he approaches. And, Nichkhun will admit, it’s comforting to see a familiar face. It’s on instinct that his arms wrap around Seulong’s tall frame, pulling him close like he’d seen Nichan done to him many times in a previous life.
“Where’s-” Seulong peers behind Nichkhun to see Jaebum - “oh, I’m sorry, Khun.”
Nichkhun waves it off with his hand and a smile. “Don’t worry about it.”
Seulong nods, puts a comforting hand on Nichkhun’s shoulder. He takes a step back and shines his light on Jaebum.
“It’s good to see you alive, Park Jaebum-sshi,” he says. “Come on, let’s get moving. There’s someone waiting for you back at headquarters.”
“Is it … my mother?” Jaebum asks, feeling helpless as Nichkhun tugs on his wrist, slipping a comforting hand around his own with a smile.
“Yeah,” Seulong answers as they walk next to the trees. “She’s been waiting.”
*
They get to the headquarters of the Rebellion without a hitch. Seulong is surprisingly chatty and Jaebum likes him enough. Seulong talks about the plans that have been set in motion to overthrow the government, one of them being Jaebum’s escape from prison.
“It’s just the tip of the iceberg,” Seulong says excitedly, one hand in his pocket while the other lighting their way. “With Jaebum-sshi gone they’ll start to crack.”
“What if we hadn’t escaped?” Jaebum asks, shivering from the cold of the night, “what if Nichkhun didn’t figure out who he had to save?”
“Oh, but he did, didn’t he?” Seulong gives the both of them a knowing look. “You’ll have to thank the officer who gave you that map.”
“I told you that officer gave it to you,” Jaebum hisses at Nichkhun, who frowns.
Seulong laughs. “He was supposed to. You’ll have to thank Taek for that, Khun.”
“Duly noted,” Nichkhun mutters, and Seulong continues to laugh while Jaebum hides his snicker with a cough.
Seulong knocks on the door once, twice, three times and then stops. He knocks again, harder and quicker, pausing only to knock once more but very light. The door opens within seconds and Seulong motions for them to follow him.
Jaebum enters and is surprised by the bright light so he squints, his hand letting go of Nichkhun’s. As his eyes adjust to the light Jaebum realises that there are people staring at him. He looks around and recognizes one of them instantly.
“Chansung? Hwang Chansung?” he says and the kid stands up, grinning from ear to ear like a maniac.
“Hyung,” Chansung says, “you’re just in time for the good stuff!”
Jaebum’s smiling as he reaches up to ruffle the kid’s hair but only does so half-heartedly. “You’re still the same, kid.”
He looks around the room some more and he recognizes the famous singer - Kim Junsu his mind supplies - and there, at the very back of the room he sees her. She still looks the same as she did all those months ago, and he chokes back the tears as she rushes towards him.
“Thank God you’re here,” she says, pulling him close. “I’ve missed you.”
And as Jaebum wraps his arms around his mother’s thin body, he doesn’t think about the times ahead that he knows will be hard. He just thinks about this moment, how for two months and the past few days had all been worth it just seeing her face, knowing that she’s alive.
*
Nichkhun comes out of the shower, feeling cleaner than he had in years. He’s wearing fresh clothes that’s not his janitor’s uniform. There’s a knock at the door and it opens before he has the chance to tell the person to come in.
Jaebum enters and he’s out of his jail uniform, looking brighter than he had the past few days.
“Hey, what do you want to do with this?” He holds up Nichkhun’s janitor uniform, laughing when Nichkhun grabs it and throws it to the ground.
“Burn it, I can’t even look at it.”
Jaebum chuckles some more and the silence fills the space between the both of them. “Hey, Nichkhun, I just wanted to say thank you.”
“For what?”
Jaebum rolls his eyes. “You know, for busting me out of that jail cell and leading me here.”
“Oh … that.” Nichkhun shrugs his shoulders as he sits on the bed. “No problem, you don’t have to thank me. I just did what I had to do, that’s it.”
“Still,” Jaebum says forcefully, “still … you could’ve just left me by myself or something-”
“C’mon, man, you know I wouldn’t have do-”
“You could’ve and you didn’t, and I’m thanking you so just take it.” Jaebum’s cheeks are slightly colouring and Nichkhun smiles.
“Okay,” he says finally, “okay, you’re welcome.”
Jaebum nods his head and motions for Nichkhun to make room for him on the bed. Nichkhun shifts just as the mattress sinks with Jaebum’s added weight.
“You know it’s not going to be easy from here on out?”
“Yeah, figured as much,” Nichkhun replies with a sigh.
“You don’t have to-”
“Jaebum, shut up,” Nichkhun says, laughing at the surprised look on the other man’s face. He nudges their shoulders together. “I just broke you out of prison, what could be harder than that?”
Jaebum’s lips twitch as he rolls his eyes. He stands up, clapping a hand on Nichkhun’s shoulder. “You never know. C’mon, they’re making dinner and for once it isn’t prison food.”
Nichkhun gets to feet following Jaebum out the door. And, as they both join the Rebellion meeting that’s taking place in the kitchen, Nichkhun can’t help but think he’s found a place to call home. He stares at the back of Jaebum’s head and decides that no matter what happens in the future, what other trials and tribulations that were to come, it wouldn’t matter - he’s finally happy. And right now in this moment, he believes that’s all that matters.
(Because they’re both free.)