Try It Again (Part 4)

[snapsparagus]

Okay!  Here's Part 4 of Try It Again.  I'm grateful to Brandywine421 (if I knew how to make her name a link I would...) for her help with editing.  All mistakes are mine.  Characters are not (should I be saying that?).  Thanks for the reviews on the first three parts - I truly appreciate the feedback.  The first parts are available at my journal.

On

Comments

[60schic]

I have been reading but haven't yet commented. Time to stop lurking. I am enjoying how you are just *this* close to canon, yet you are finding your own unique twists to the story. You have nicely portrayed Ryan's vulnerability and his sense of hopeless desperation.

Kirsten has an aura of plausible deniablity in wanting Ryan gone, then using his defense mechanism in not wanting to stay to assuage her own conscience. Of course, all that goes to hell when she eavesdrops on his phone call home. I like this line: He was thoroughly confused about her 180-degree shift in attitude and made a mental note to watch her - he was used to volatility but he didn’t like it. Yeah; I'm sure he'll find more comparisons to Dawn.

I'm looking forward to more of this story.

[snapsparagus]

Thanks for your comments! I had a hard time with this chapter - it didn't come nearly as easily as the first few. I'm so pleased that you're enoying it - thanks again.

[fredsmith518]

Very much like how Ryan caves to 'help' others, neat plays by Sandy and Seth.

Also, He was thoroughly confused about her 180-degree shift in attitude and made a mental note to watch her - he was used to volatility but he didn’t like it. has a very honest feel to it, good line.

[chazper]

I've also been lurking (shame on me!) but good writing deserves feedback, and this is excellent. I love the voices of your characters, their very natural interaction, and your descriptions of their physical responses to each other, especially Ryan's.

One week, hmm? I can't wait to see what happens during that time.

[brandywine421]

Yay! ♥

[aleunamtreppel]

You made me happy with this chapter. Thanks!!