Try It Again (Part 6)
Here's Part 6. Thanks for the comments - previous parts can be found at my journal. A little language in this one, nothing major. :)
Day four started out by being the easiest and most fun day of the week, much to Ryan’s relief. Kirsten was gone all day on some business thing, Sandy was holed up in his office. The SR. Cohens had been taking turns working from home while Ryan was in their care. Seth came knocking on the poolhouse door early and suggested swimming, which Ryan considered only very briefly before agreeing.
“Give me a minute,” Ryan said, going into the bathroom to dress in a spare pair of Sandy’s board shorts. He stood before the mirror with his eyes closed for two or three minutes. He hadn’t yet looked - he didn’t want to see. He finally got up the courage and forced his eyes open. His bruises were about as ugly as he’d expected - his rib didn’t look as bad as it hurt, but he had other marks that he barely felt at all, that were, he thought crabbily, deceptively dark. Fucking AJ. He sighed and briefly considered wearing a T-shirt in the pool. But who was he kidding?
“Hey,” Seth said as Ryan came back into the main space in the poolhouse. “Everything okay?” his eyes drifted to Ryan’s chest, and Ryan stopped walking but didn’t try to cover anything up. He had nothing to hide. Right? Seth had seen more of Ryan’s injuries than Ryan had, after all.
Seth’s eyes jerked down to his hands, and he cracked his knuckles.
“Yeah,” Ryan breathed.
Seth shook his head. “I’m so sorry, man,” he said quietly. His bent head, his bony shoulders poking out gawkingly, the reserved tone of voice: This wasn’t Seth. Well, the shoulders were, maybe.
“Do we need to talk about this?” Ryan spoke very softly.
“I don’t know.” A pause.
“Hey, not today, all right, man?” Ryan forced himself to sound cheerful. He cuffed the top of Seth’s head. “Let’s just take it easy today.”
“Sure,” Seth grinned crookedly, looking immensely relieved. The boys stepped out to the pool. Seth eased himself in right away, but Ryan took longer. He dipped a foot, then sat on the edge. Bit by bit he lowered himself, until finally he ducked his head briefly to wet it completely. Ryan pulled himself up onto an inflated seat, his arms thickly muscled and dripping water. Seth, once again, found himself having to tear his eyes away from his friend. His best friend. His best friend Ryan.
Ryan lay back on the float, loving the feeling of the hot sun on his bare chest. He closed his eyes and drifted peacefully.
“So…I was thinking about Summer, you know?” Seth began. After one failed try he managed to pop himself up on another float the same way Ryan had.
“Mm-hmm,” Ryan didn’t open his eyes.
“And I think I’ve figured out a way to really get her to notice me. But I thought I should probably run it by you. You know?”
“Uh-huh.”
Sandy looked out the kitchen window at his skinny, alarmingly white son floating in the pool. He was like a bony human highlighter, that boy. He looked also at Ryan, whose injuries were definitely getting better by the day. That poor kid. He saw Ryan’s hand scooping lazily at the water, saw him laugh at something Seth said. They were good for each other, Sandy was sure of that. He smiled to himself, temporarily satisfied, and went to his office to get back to work.
Marissa slipped out the back door of her parents’ house, her eyes already heavy-lidded at the prospect of sunbathing. She was wearing a bikini, had a bottle of water and a pair of sunglasses, her iPod. She was about to settle the earbuds into place when she heard Seth Cohen talking, laughing. She stopped short, a wave of heat moving through her body from top to toe. Could it be?
Nah.
Ryan was gone. Ryan went home, back where he belonged. The last she’d seen of him he’d been taken away in a police car, after the model home debacle. Luke had explained to her, earnestly and repeatedly, that Ryan was bad news and that Luke had known it all along. Luke had ordered (then, when her eyes rolled in irritation at that strategy, pleaded) for her to not mention Ryan again. So she hadn’t.
But she still thought about him. In fact, thinking about Ryan was the only thing getting her through Luke’s increasingly insistent makeout sessions. She thought about running her fingers through Ryan’s hair, feeling the heat from the sun, the feathery ends that rarely met the business end of a pair of scissors. If she closed her eyes she could almost pretend that Luke’s hard stomach was Ryan’s, pressing against the flatness of her own, sticky and moist. But the image always came to a crashing halt when her hands greedily tore at his forearms. When her fingers wrapped around and eagerly dug into the flesh there everything turned cold. Luke’s arms were nothing like Ryan’s, and Marissa’s imagination did not extend far enough to pretend that they were.
Invariably by this stage Luke had to go and open his whiny, pretentious mouth and spoil the mood for good. Marissa again and again pushed him away ‘just when things were getting going.’
Ah, well.
Luke could work on those forearms on his own time.
She wouldn’t even be with him if her parents hadn’t kept pressing and pressing. Luke was good for her. His parents were good people. He’d take care of her. Blah, blah, blah.
Marissa heard Seth again, this time practically shouting, still laughing. She dropped her things in the grass and stepped lightly toward a row of bushes that separated her backyard from the Cohens’. Who did Seth have over there? She pulled the piney branches apart to form a peephole, feeling very much like a spy, a clumsy spy who got slapped in the forehead by a stray branch. Her heart skipped a beat. It was Ryan, she was sure of it. She couldn’t get a good view but she could tell it was him. What was he doing back? How long had he been there? How long would he stay? What would Luke say?
God dammit. Fucking Luke.
Ryan’s heart thrummed in his chest when he saw Marissa step into Seth’s backyard. Before he had a moment to think about his reaction he slipped off the float, swam to the steps and scrambled out of the pool, straight to a waiting towel. He wrapped the towel around himself, hiding the bruises.
“Ryan, what the Hell--” Seth’s voice drifted off as he turned to look at what Ryan saw. “Oh,” he said in a deflated way. “Hi, Marissa.”
“Seth.” Marissa stepped toward Ryan, seeming to be unperturbed by his sudden flight from the pool. “Ryan. What are you doing here?”
“Um,” Ryan breathed. He backed away from her, holding a hand out as though to keep her at bay. The other hand clutched a knot of towel above his heart, trying awkwardly to keep it up around himself.
“I thought you went home.”
“I did. This is…I’m just here for a few days. Temporary. Just a visit.”
“Is everything okay?” Marissa crossed her arms over her perfectly tanned stomach, subconsciously miming his defensiveness. “Your mouth.”
Ryan lifted his free hand to his mouth, fingertipping his healing split lip.
“Hey, Marissa?” Seth asked from the pool. Marissa tore her eyes away from Ryan long enough to glance at Seth. He was sitting up on his float, paddling to the edge of the pool. Seth could feel Ryan’s panic and discomfort from twenty feet away. “I’m not sure it’s a great time.”
Ryan was about to tell Seth that he could speak for himself when he found himself nodding his head instead. He swallowed thickly and said, “I’ll call you tomorrow, okay?” He tried to smile. Took in her bikini despite himself. Everybody was so damn skinny in Newport. He let his gaze drift down toward her boxy, boyish hips and his eyelids dropped closed slowly. When they opened again he was looking in her eyes. “Tomorrow,” he repeated. He turned and went to the poolhouse, closed the door behind himself.
“What’s going on with him?” Marissa demanded.
“Ryan is a man of many mysteries,” Seth began.
“Seth.”
He didn’t have to look at her to know that she was pissed. This time his voice was direct, even. “He needs a little time. He’s had a rough couple of weeks.”
“But the way he and I left things--”
“I don’t know much about what’s going on, but I know it’s not about you. All right? He said he’ll call you tomorrow. That’s got to be enough for now.”
“You could have told me he was here.”
“Should I have called you on your cell? My BFF Marissa, speed dial number one?”
“You don’t have to be mean.”
“I’m not--” Seth sputtered a little, frustrated. “Are we friends? Because if we are? I didn’t realize.”
“We were two weeks ago.”
“And then your chest-shaving boyfriend kicked Ryan’s ass and sent him back to Juvie. I’m not really feeling the love right now.”
“Luke said--”
“Talk to Ryan,” Seth repeated, laying back on the float and closing his eyes. “He can give you his side tomorrow.” There was not a sound from Marissa. Seth felt her standing at the water’s edge, felt her narrowed eyes burning a hole in the side of his head. After several seconds Seth sighed and said, “Goodbye, Marissa.” He opened his eyes and was surprised to see that she was already gone. “Done and done,” Seth muttered to himself.
He folded his arms behind his head, a makeshift pillow, and let the water’s simple rhythm soothe him. He’d done well; he was satisfied with the conversation, but talking to any girl got his nerves all in a knot. Marissa Cooper, also, was not just any girl.
Things were getting more complicated by the day. Seth just hoped he’d be able to keep up.
When Seth was done in the pool he went knocking on Ryan’s door.
“Come in,” he heard after a pause.
“Hey, man,” Seth stuck his head through the doorway. “I’m gonna go for a skate. You want to come…or…?”
“Not today,” Ryan was lying on the bed, apparently zoned out to an infomercial on TV. He was in jeans and a sweatshirt, even though it was warm in the poolhouse.
Seth nodded his head. “Just thought I’d ask.”
“I’m not really ready for…society,” Ryan said, finally meeting Seth’s eyes.
“No, that’s fine, dude. Whatever. I’ll see you later, all right?”
“Have fun.” Ryan looked back at the TV. Surely he couldn’t be that interested in ‘Set it and forget it’ but Seth knew that Ryan needed a wide berth right now. He wasn’t going to lie to himself and pretend that he had any idea what Ryan was going through, but what he did know was that it was major and it was damaging and if it had happened to him he’d probably still be crying. He also had the sneaking suspicion that this wasn’t the first time that Ryan’s mom’s boyfriend had let loose on Ryan, but Seth wasn’t even going there yet. He couldn’t. For lots of reasons.
Seth skated to the pier, grateful for the noise and crowd around him. He was probably at his happiest skating this familiar ground. There was nothing more exhilarating than riding the smooth walkway, hearing the buzzing hum of his skate wheels, feeling the occasional bump-bump of crossing a seam in the cement. He thought about maybe stopping by the taco bar. He considered saying Hello to his friends at the comic book store. He had options. Tons of options. He weaved around people, around dogs. Around students from Harbor. He felt his wheels lock up.
And he started to fly.
Ryan was just thinking that it must be close to dinnertime when his stomach growled to confirm it. He had seen Kirsten pull into the driveway, park in the newly-cleared garage. Watched her walk into the house. That had probably been a half hour ago. So dinner must be coming relatively soon. He hoped.
He heard a clunk outside and turned to see what it was. He saw Seth, who had apparently dropped his skateboard, lean over and pick it up. Ryan sat up straighter as he saw Seth rub his back and stretch, then limp slowly to the front door. He must have taken a fall. Fucking skateboards. Who ever thought those were a good idea? Ryan left his shelter to venture into the big house, wanting to make sure Seth was okay.
“It was those water-polo-playing idiots,” Ryan heard Seth say. His voice was a mix of disappointment, adrenaline and shakiness. Ryan knew that tone and it made his shoulders square off, his spine straighten.
“Oh, Seth. You can’t blame them for everything,” Kirsten answered. Ryan stopped just outside the open door, listening to Seth and his mom in the kitchen.
“It was their fault! I saw Chip - one of Luke’s goons - throw something at my wheels and I fell. I fell hard. He threw stones at my wheels. Then they laughed when I crashed. I screwed up my hand, and my leg--”
“Are you all right? Maybe we should take you to the doctor. Your knee looks swollen.”
“I don’t know,” Seth said. “It’s just, like, what did I ever do to them?”
“Maybe I should call Chip’s mother.”
“Um…NO. No, that’s not gonna help. No way. Please don’t do that.”
“I don’t like it when someone’s making trouble for you, Seth.” Ryan nodded his head in agreement, even though no one could see him.
“I’ll just stay away from the pier for now. Chip works at the ice cream store, so he’s always around. I’ll just find another place to skate until they find someone else to torment.”
“Seth, it breaks my heart to hear you talking like this,” Kirsten was saying as Ryan backed a step away from the house.
It was obvious what he had to do here.
Ryan took a deep breath, tightened his jaw and went back to the poolhouse. He snapped his leather cuff around his wrist, switched his sweatshirt for a wifebeater and made sure his boots were double-knotted.
Finally he could do right by Seth.
And that’s really all that mattered at the moment.