The Other Side of the Street (the Ziggy is a P.I.M.P. Telephone Tag Remix) 2/2
Continued from Part 1
JC wasn't answering his goddamn phone.
Kevin wanted to throw things and scream, but that wouldn't accomplish anything. Instead, he sat and tried to breathe deeply--but not so deeply that he caught another whiff of Chris, because Chris smelled good, like seriously good, like it was making JC's dick tingle and twitch--and calculate time zones. They'd be leaving for the venue now. There'd be soundcheck and meeting with fans, and fucking JC wouldn't be able to pick up until the opening act was playing, and then Kevin wouldn't be able to yell at him 'cause JC had to go out there and put on the performance of his life or Kevin would fucking kill him as soon as--
"Whoa, whoa," Chris said. "You're turning red again, buddy. You need to--"
"God. Will you just... shut up and go take a shower already?"
Chris froze. His arm was outstretched; he'd been passing a drink to him.
"What?" Chris' voice was tight, and Kevin watched how the Scotch seemed to vibrate and shimmer in its glass.
"Please. Go shower. Your cologne. It's... It's making my nose itch."
"I'm not wearing cologne."
"You've just spent an hour trying to convince me that I need to fuck my cousin. That the world would be a better place if I fucked my cousin, my male cousin, who is like a brother to me."
"I didn't mean it like that. I'm just sayin' the world would be a better place if it didn't shame you like that and make you repress these feelings and become even more upti--"
"Brian doesn't get me hot!"
"Yeah," Chris said. "You've convinced me. That's why we're going to tell 'C to fuck AJ instead."
Kevin snatched the drink out of Chris' hand and got the hell out of there.
He ended up in a guest room that was full of bamboo and pale prints. It was the most normal-looking space he'd seen here. He fought with the window, got it open, and leaned out--it was nice, how so few homes in California had screens on their windows. It was one of the few good things about this fucking place, though you couldn't pay him enough to make him stay anywhere but home in Kentucky. He missed it. He missed being at home with his wife. He missed going to bed with her every night. He wanted to hold her close every night, to make love to her and just be with her, and this whole thing was ridiculous. He didn't want to make love to anyone else, and he certainly didn't want JC to touch her. No matter what JC thought, this whole thing was up to Kevin. He just had to hurry up and fix JC before he slept with anyone else.
So that meant, what? He'd made that appointment with Justin for JC. Did he need to speed that up? There hadn't been anything else that had really grabbed his attention as something that needed to be dealt with, unless it was the whole thing with the way his body reacted to Chris' smell. Could he handle both of those things?
Hmm. Where had he left JC's phone?
Justin was a busy guy. Everyone wanted a piece of him, and Kevin knew there was a chance that he'd say no or get pissy because who was JC to be pushing him? But Kevin had to try, and when he fake hesitated on the phone and then said, "I'm sorry, J, I really am, but Chris showed up here all out of the blue, I just thought... old times, you know? Is there any chance you could comeover, do the music thing with me, before Chris has to leave?" Justin melted.
"Chris is there?"
"Yeah, man, but he says he can't stay long and like--"
"Why not? He's not doing anything, 'C. Why can't he make time for us?"
"I don't know, but if you could come over tonight or maybe tomorrow?"
"Yeah, yeah. I guess there's something I can cancel for tomorrow. Didn't want to do it anyway. Three okay?"
It would have to do. How much more damage could JC do in twenty-four hours?
"Yeah."
"Okay, I'll see you then."
"Thanks, J. This means a lot to me."
"No problem," Justin said and hung up.
Well, there wouldn't be any problems once Kevin was finished here.
He went to find Chris. He seemed to be privy to most of JC's secrets. Kevin would turn the tables on him and grill him. See if there was anything else he needed to put right.
Chris didn't seem too sure when he was told about the plans with Justin.
"Yeah, it'd be great if J and 'C started writing together again and shit. But, I don't know if you've noticed, but you're not actually JC. Justin's going to notice."
Kevin shrugged.
"Maybe he will and maybe he won't. And maybe you should give me some credit. I can handle it."
"He knows JC's musical style better than anyone."
"And he's so fuckin' eager to be friends with JC again, I don't think he'll notice."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah. And, you know what? If you're so fucking worried he's going to figure it out, why don't you run interference for me? You said that's what you used to do, so what's your problem? Too good to help out a Backstreet Boy? Or are you just a pussy and--?"
"Hey!"
JC's phone rang. Kevin grabbed it, and stuck his tongue out at Chris before answering.
"Yeah?"
"Why didn't you tell me your wife was coming?"
JC, finally.
"Why didn't you tell me you were planning to fuck your way through my band?"
"That's how it works."
"That's not how it works!"
"You said you do the same thing, Kevin. What did you expect?"
"I don't. I'm not a big, slutty, Samuel Beckett clone saving the world with my dick--"
"Hey!" JC said.
"Hey, hey!" Chris said and tried to grab the phone.
"Though I'll give you the benefit of the doubt and assume that that's really how it works for you, and you're not just using this as an excuse to get freaky with everyone you want."
"It's-- It's not."
"It's not like that," Chris said.
Kevin ignored him.
"I don't want to fuck your wife," JC said.
"Good. I don't want you to fucking touch her."
"I'd do it," JC said. "She's hot and all. But it's creepy."
"Kristin is not creepy!"
"No, no. Not like that. Just... I don't know who my father is, man. My biological father. Like when this started, I thought maybe my father had been like me, you know? And I love this life, but I don't want to make any babies this way."
"That doesn't even make sense."
"Yes, it does."
"Look, I'm not telling to you to fuck-- to have sex with my wife, but if you did, they'd be my fucking sperm."
"'Sperm'?" Chris said. "Why are you talking about--?"
"But would they?" JC asked. "Are you certain you know how the magic works? One hundred percent certain and willing to risk your future offspring--"
Oh, good lord.
"No. I'm not," Kevin said. "But it's not an issue. You're not going to fuck her. I'm working on things here. You should be back here tomorrow afternoon."
"Yeah?"
"I'm sure of it."
"Oh, that's great. Hey... do you think it would hurt, though, if I maybe watch a little porn with Nick and AJ tonight and do whatever comes naturally? Just to be on the safe side?"
"No!"
"Great!"
"No, no. I meant--"
"Oh, hey, they're calling for us. I gotta go."
"--don't do it."
Oh god.
*
After JC called, Kevin was still really agitated.
Chris thought it was overkill. What did Kevin have to worry about? They'd both agreed that JC wasn't going to fuck Kevin's wife. The worst that could happen now was that JC would come back knowing that Howie was great in the sack and decide that he wanted more of it. Howie had proved that he wasn't adverse to a little of the man-loving, and JC would easily hook up with him and it would be awful.
Howie was short and dark and pretty, and had a sweet temper to match his sweet voice. He was so sweet that JC was bound to fall in love if he was fucking him on a regular basis. And it would really be too much. Chris had three out of five of those traits, and it would burn, being so close to what JC wanted, but apparently not enough.
JC would be all in love and he wouldn't need Chris any more. He'd tell Howie about his leaps, and they'd probably laugh about it, how a leap had brought them together, and they'd talk about it, have long discussions about the differences in how JC fucked when he was JC and when he'd been Kevin. JC would stop calling for Chris' advice. He'd stop calling to share titillating details with him, and then that hot thing they'd just done for the first time ever--that hot phone thing that JC had said wasn't phone sex, even though Chris had really rather thought it was--would never happen again. And that would be a shame, a dreadful shame.
So. Yes. The worst had been done already. Kevin should just chill.
Kevin didn't agree when Chris told him so.
"I should chill?" Kevin said. "Why? Are you the expert here? Have you ever fucked a band mate? What do you know?"
Chris knew plenty. He opened his mouth to explain... then shut it again.
"Huh." Kevin quit his slump, sitting up straight and alert. "That's interesting. Which one?"
"I-- It's not like..."
"What's that? Chris Kirkpatrick's almost at a loss for words? Stop the presses."
"It's not like that!"
"It wasn't Justin," Kevin said. "I've seen you with him. Besides, he's too young."
"I'd never. It's gross that you'd even consider that!"
"You wanted me to fuck Brian, asshole."
"Oh, yeah. Okay, I'll give you that one. But I've never done shit with Justin."
"I don't think it's Lance. Though it's obvious he's--"
"You're a crazy, crazy man and you can leave Lance out of this."
"He's gay."
"Maybe. Probably. But we're not going to talk about it. And what's the point of this? You're just going to list all of the guys in my band? You wanna know about Joey, too, huh? Joey. Well, we've all seen Joey masturbating at least once and we've all walked in on Joey with a girl a time or two, but I'm pretty sure that still doesn't qualify as a threesome or anything to interest you--"
"I'm not asking out of curiosity. I--"
"It shouldn't even be an issue, what I've done with any guys. You're the one who's in the wrong body. That's the only reason I was asking you invasive questions before, to get you back where you belong."
Kevin stood up and held his arms out wide.
"Look at me. I'm not the only one out of my body here. Okay? I don't really give a fuck what you've done, except to prove you don't know shit."
He brought his arms in, smoothed a hand down his chest, down, down to cup his junk. It wasn't as sensual as it was when JC did it. It was angry, to make a point, but it was still a little sexy. Chris could maybe see it, JC touching himself in anger like that before yanking Chris forward hard.
"Tell me about this guy," Kevin said. "Tell me about JC. Which of you has he fucked? Which of you does he want to fuck?"
Chris knew--of course he knew--which of them JC had fucked. Couldn't help but know really, sharing the bus and all, but that wasn't his secret to tell. He sometimes played fast and loose with JC's secrets, but Justin's were another matter. Besides, that thing JC'd had with Justin was over. It had burned its course, no regrets. That couldn't be the reason Kevin was here now.
Kevin got all up in his space and pushed at him with little jabbing shoves to his shoulder.
"What are you hiding?" Jab. "What have you done with him?" Jab. "Why does he think you smell so fucking good?"
Chris knocked his hand away.
"Fuck off."
"Jesus, Kirkpatrick, how fucking clueless are you? Just tell me if there's any possible reason for the two of us to fuck. Because I'm getting the sense that there is."
Chris took a step back.
"What?"
"I think we should fuck."
"What? No. You're not gay."
"This--" Kevin jerked his hand down. Chris followed the gesture, and oh... Kevin was hard. Or JC's body was hard. "--has nothing to do with me."
"You're not gay," Chris said again, and immediately felt stupid for it. But holy fuck, what was he supposed to say? And was JC's body really interested... in him?
"This body thinks arguing with you is really fucking hot," Kevin said.
"Well... no offense, but that body also thinks it's really fucking hot to sing in front of an audience, too. And like... re-tiling bathrooms, and going to Starbucks, and maybe even traffic lights are hot. It's probably got nothing to do with me."
"You're sure? You and JC don't have any unfinished business?"
"I don't want to have sex with you!"
"It's not me!"
No, this so wasn't fair. Of course he'd thought about having sex with JC. And, hell, he wouldn't even mind having sex with Kevin, if Kevin was in his own body and was actually into it. But this, this wasn't right. He wanted JC to need him. He wanted to be JC's partner, providing assistance as he always had through all of JC's kinky leap adventures, and then be the guy JC came home to. It was stupid and it was private, and he didn't fucking want this half measure.
He'd had that before, kind of. When he'd been swapped with JC, at the end they'd... well. There'd been a lot going on there and Chris still wasn't entirely convinced that he'd had a deep-rooted need for any of it, but JC had sworn that Chris needed to feel free. He needed to give himself permission to want whoever and whatever he wanted without shame. And it had been this huge orgy. Okay, it was only a threesome, but it had fuckin' felt like an orgy because, holy fuck, Justin's mom. Chris was pretty sure that whenever you had sex with any of your buddies' mothers that automatically counted as an orgy. It probably counted as an orgy even if you just kissed her with tongue.
But there'd been a hot tub, and Lynn had pulled these two sets of nipple clamps out from nowhere. Yowza. Lynn had been all Hot, Wet, Dominatrix Mom and had played with them both and fucked them both and ended the night by watching them fuck each other. It had been mind-blisteringly hot. To this day, it was the wildest thing Chris had ever done. And the whole thing had also opened his eyes to JC, let him see beneath his surface geeky looks and freakish behavior.
And okay, so Chris has been maybe fascinated by JC ever since, but that doesn't mean he wants another halvsies, not-quite encounter with JC's body. It's the last thing he wants, especially since, after the last time, JC hadn't thought anything of it. He'd tried to talk to JC about it, but JC had been convinced that it hadn't been about Chris having sex with him, that it was about Chris learning to love and accept all of himself.
But what if it was the one thing necessary to bring JC back this time?
"Do you... Do you really think it might switch you back?" he asked.
Kevin looked thoughtful. He pat his dick--JC's dick--once. It still looked pretty hard.
"Yeah," Kevin said. "I think it's a good possibility. That is, I think if there's any doubt in your mind, any niggling thought that says, 'yeah, maybe Kevin's right,' then we should."
"Oh."
"I don't want to leave any stones unturned, any--"
"Cliches unsaid?" Chris said.
"Yeah."
"But you're still not gay."
"I'll figure it out."
Chris still didn't like it. Shouldn't it have made him feel a little excited? JC didn't look like a geek anymore. He had a fucking beautiful body. It shouldn't be a hardship to fuck it.
"I'm... uh. You want to?" Chris asked.
"We should."
Ugh.
"Um... okay, I guess..." There had to be some reason not to do this. Not now, at least. Maybe he could drink himself into it. What, what could he...? "But, um. We shouldn't now, right? Aren't you like in the middle of show over there? You switch back in the middle of... in the middle of... Fuck, I don't know what you guys sing. Switching back, it's not seamless though."
"Yeah," Kevin said. "That's a good point. We should wait until they're all on the buses."
"Great. Yeah, let's do that."
Chris left him there. He needed to break into JC's stash of really good stuff, not the pansy-ass liquor he'd served Kevin earlier.
*
Kevin wasn't gay. Not one fucking bit, and he was pretty sure that even if he was, Chris wouldn't be on his "to do" list. But that wasn't going to stop him. One, he was really horny right now. And, two, nothing stopped him when he was on a mission. He didn't accept excuses and failure, not from himself.
There was a chance this still wouldn't work, but he thought it made a certain kind of sense. If JC's leaps were always about sexual matters and Kevin didn't have any sexual issues that needed to be resolved, then it was highly likely that JC had one. And from where Kevin was standing, well, it sure looked like JC fucked around everywhere except for where it really counted. He'd never had a switch where the solution wasn't fairly simple and straightforward. People tended to be the most blind to the things that were right in front of their faces. He'd never had to go far out of his way to hunt for a solution. It was always right there, just needing to be puzzled out. So. It had to be either Justin or Chris.
And, yeah, Chris was weird-looking, kinda ugly and squat, but JC's body didn't seem to think so, the freak. And Justin was too much like Nick, not in looks, but still... Having to be gay with Justin would be much more traumatizing. So, he was going to do this, and he thought he knew how.
JC had just better check his fucking messages before going off to watch porn with Nick and AJ--or doing even worse things that Kevin didn't even want to imagine.
*
So Chris had maybe taken a hit or two of some of JC's silly shit, but no more than that because smoking up was just as likely to make him hyper-aware of the freakish, oh my God, that's Kevin in there-ness of the situation as it was to help him mellow out.
He'd gone down to the basement, down with the good whiskey and the big leather couches that didn't match JC's decor anymore, but were so fucking soft, both in the cushiness factor and texture-wise, that they'd spent plenty a night on them, as a band, stoned out of their minds and petting the fucking sofas. Chris loved it down here with JC's old stereo and the huge old TV and the smell that was really homey and JC-ish. Rich people really had the best basements, though maybe some of that was because Chris was really more comfortable in slightly-battered luxury than in the real thing.
He poured more whiskey, and decided that this was his nest and he was really happy here and he hoped Kevin never found him and he could just hide here in his soft haven and pet his dick and think about JC the other day, panting into the phone because he was such a freak and he'd loved taking pictures of Kevin's dick. It hadn't been JC's voice, but it had still been pure JC. JC who was so experienced and did so much freaky, kinky, crazy shit--and was so free and open about it--but still got so utterly turned on when he felt like he was doing something naughty.
Chris didn't really need JC's voice anymore. He loved JC's voice. It was a great voice, and it had certainly helped make them all a great deal of money, but he'd spent so many days and nights listening to JC speak in someone else's voice, talking about all sorts of things, but above all sex things, that the voice didn't matter. He'd learned JC's speech patterns. He knew JC's mind maybe better than he ever would have if he'd never had to listen for JC beneath the other voices.
It was like that stupid line in Justin's song, the one that made him sound like a fucking zombie. I just love your... brain.
Maybe, maybe he could do this with Kevin if they like... taped it for JC. JC had a thing for seeing himself in video. Or if he thought all along about how he'd describe it to JC later, and JC could demonstrate what "real" phone sex was. Imagine what JC would say about it if Chris called him. What he'd say when Chris said, "And then you put your dick in me and was so fucking huge and you know what my ass is like--don't laugh, don't you fucking laugh. I have a fine ass, really delicate. You have to treat it right, yeah, yeah, god, yeah, like that 'C, fuck, yeah, put your hand--"
Chris grabbed the base of his dick and squeezed tight. Fuck. Fuck. He was too much of a pussy to take Kevin up on his offer, but he was ready to shoot his load here, all pathetic and alone in JC's basement. Great.
He heard footsteps on the stairs and quickly tucked himself back into his pants.
"Hey," Kevin called. "You down here? The phone's for you."
That couldn't be right. No one would call JC's looking for him, not without trying his cell first.
"Chris?" Kevin called again. "JC says you're probably down here."
JC? Was the concert over already? How much time had he been moping down here?
Chris wiped his palms on his pants and cleared his throat.
"Yeah. Yeah, I'm down here."
Kevin came in, handed him the phone, and then stood there, looking at him.
"Hey," Chris said. "Maybe some privacy?"
Kevin snorted at that and backed up just far enough to sit on the other couch, directly across from him. Chris glared at him, but Kevin showed no sign of budging. Fine.
Chris brought the phone to his ear.
"Yeah?"
"Hey, Chris," JC said. Kevin's voice sounded all rumply and warm, and Chris thought maybe JC was calling from bed. He swallowed hard and resisted the urge to touch his dick. Not in front of Kevin.
"Hey, 'C. Everything okay? The show and--" The porn with the guys. "--everything?"
"Yeah, yeah," JC said. "Everything's good, and hey, look, me and Kev have been talking and uh..."
"I know you've been talking. He brought me the phone, you know. I can put two and two together."
JC chuckled.
"Yeah, it's like that song."
"What?"
"'You and you and me, together we make three,' something, something, something..."
Oh, for crying out loud. Was the world out to taunt Chris tonight or what?
"'C, you know that's a parody, right? A parody of us."
"It's still a good song. Nice beat, addresses a real-life issue in a soothingly lyrical way--"
"'C."
JC coughed.
"Yeah, yeah. Okay. The thing is, Kevin says he's ready to go back. He says this experience has brought him to several important realizations, mainly about what he wants out of life and how he wants to leave Backstreet now, while things are still fairly good, and he actually wants to be with the guys doing what they do. He's afraid that if he leaves it too long, he's going to lose that, you know?"
"Wow."
"Yeah. But it's cool, right? Doesn't want Backstreet to be a... a... sour taste left in his mouth."
"Doesn't want to be a bitter old man like us?"
"Oh, no," JC said. "We're not bitter. We're just... you know... we're..."
"Not as happy as we could be."
"Exactly, man. I knew you'd understand. You always get me, Chris, and that's really kind of awesome 'cause like. I know there's times when you really wish you didn't."
That made Chris feel guilty. It wasn't-- He didn't mind all that much.
"It's not all that bad," Chris said. "It's like, yeah, I don't want to admit it, but there's an international language of freaks or something that--"
"Transcends the different flavors of freaks?"
"Well. That's one way of putting it. I don't actually go around licking freaks, I--"
"I think you should."
Uh, what?
"Lick freaks? Is that like kissing toads?"
"Chris, um. Here's the thing. Kevin was talking to me, and he's right, man. I need to balls up and make a confession here."
Chris wasn't sure that he liked the sound of this.
"Don't do this just because Kevin tells you to. What does he know? He's only a Backstreet Boy."
Chris shot a glance over to Kevin. He was just sitting there, looking both amused and unimpressed.
"Backstreet," Chris said, putting as much of a sneer into it as he could. "Baaackstreeeet."
Kevin smiled and flipped him off.
"Chris," JC said. "I'm like confessing here. Could you maybe flirt with Kevin later?"
"I'm not--"
"I know how you flirt, man. I've been watching it for years."
Chris laughed.
"That's because you're a dirty, dirty voyeur."
"That's 'cause half of the time, it's aimed at me."
"Oh," Chris said.
"Yeah."
"It's kind of automatic, you know? I see pretty things and I just... run away at the mouth a little."
Chris squirmed a bit and wished Kevin would go the fuck away. He wasn't into public humiliation.
"I was flirting back."
"Oh," Chris said.
"Yeah."
"I, uh... I didn't notice that."
"Well, that's kinda my fault. I guess I've been real subtle. Like, uh. Well. When I leap, I... I don't really need your help that often."
Oh. Well, fine then. Chris swallowed the sudden lump in his throat and turned on the couch, so at least he couldn't see Kevin watching him learn just how pathetic he was.
"I just, um..." JC paused, and Chris tried to think of something. There had to be something he could count or lyrics he could recite in his head, something so he didn't have to listen to this.
"I just really like talking about sex with you," JC said. "Like I could get off on it, so like... I've been using you. Unfairly using you for--"
"JC, if it really bothered me that one of my friends, one of my really hot friends, was talking dirty to me all the time, do you really think I wouldn't say something?"
Jesus.
"So... you don't mind it?"
"No. Come on, 'C, don't be stu--"
"So, what would you say if I was in my own body, and I like called you up and wanted to talk about sucking you off or--"
Oh, shit. Fuck Kevin. Chris had to grab himself.
"--how I'd really like to rim you again sometime--"
Oh. Oh fucking shit.
"--only like when we were both in our own bodies, and uh..."
"Yeah." Chris cleared his throat. "Yeah, that would be okay, 'C."
"And if you maybe put the phone on speaker now, and I asked Kevin to take your shirt off."
"Uh... I don't... I don't know. Do we really need the third party? I could, I could be pretty good here with just this."
"No," JC said. "I think this one time, we want Kevin, too. You can ignore him, just put me on speaker, and I'll talk to him. I'll tell him how I want him to bite your tits, and--"
Chris fumbled with the phone buttons and looked desperately over at Kevin, who had moved, who was standing in front of him, pulling one of JC's tanks up off of JC's fucking beautifully-defined chest, all whipcord muscles, and--
"Are we on speaker yet?" JC was saying in his ear. "Come on, this will be good. He's never done a guy, you know, so I'm going to have to be really specific, going to have to spell out every last detail to him. How I want to touch your cock, how much I want to taste it, how I want your balls inside my mouth--"
Fuck.
"Oh, fuck. JC."
*
JC was holding Kevin's phone tightly, and holding his dick with an equally harsh grip, when he started to feel that familiar strange tingle.
"Fuck," he gasped, and tried to keep telling Kevin how to press forward, how to open Chris up and just take him, and--
*
Kevin gasped and shook and felt a familiar jolt, and oh, fuck, fuck, please.
He shook again, then wrenched his eyes open and--
Yes. Yes. Thank fuck.
This looked like AJ's bunk, and he really didn't want to why exactly he was here, but just... thank God.
He really hadn't wanted to know what fucking Chris Kirkpatrick was like. God.
He shuddered again.
Fucking NSYNC.
*
At some point, Chris must have dropped the phone completely. Maybe they'd rolled over it or something. He'd lost JC's voice--Kevin's voice--telling them what to do. But they'd been so far gone. And god, god, it wasn't fair that someone as inexperienced as Kevin was so, so fucking good at fucking him. Maybe it was JC's muscle memory coming into effect, it was so...
God.
"JC," he managed to gasp. "JC. Keep talking. Talk to me."
"Geez," JC said. "You're so demanding. Do you think you could just chill a moment, let me do one thing at a time?"
Chris opened his eyes and stared up at JC.
"Hey," he said, because he was cool and relaxed and the Master of Understatement even when he wanted to squeal and let everyone know that ohmigod, ohmigod, JC Chasez is fucking me and smiling like he likes it.
"Hey," JC said back, and leaned down so he could kiss Chris before thrusting again.
"Hey," JC said again, because JC was cool and relaxed and a master of understatement, too.
"Welcome back," Chris said.
JC smiled.
"You and Ziggy got me home once again."
Chris started to giggle. He was maybe not quite the Master of Cool that he claimed to be, but that was okay. He was happy and JC was fucking him; these things happened.
"What?" JC said.
It was kinda hard to hum while giggling and being fucked, but Chris managed well enough that JC caught on.
"Okay, Al, if that's the way you want it."
If you'll be my bodyguard,
I can be your long lost pal!
I can call you Betty,
And Betty, when you call me,
You can call me Al!
You can call me Al ......
JC wasn't answering his goddamn phone.
Kevin wanted to throw things and scream, but that wouldn't accomplish anything. Instead, he sat and tried to breathe deeply--but not so deeply that he caught another whiff of Chris, because Chris smelled good, like seriously good, like it was making JC's dick tingle and twitch--and calculate time zones. They'd be leaving for the venue now. There'd be soundcheck and meeting with fans, and fucking JC wouldn't be able to pick up until the opening act was playing, and then Kevin wouldn't be able to yell at him 'cause JC had to go out there and put on the performance of his life or Kevin would fucking kill him as soon as--
"Whoa, whoa," Chris said. "You're turning red again, buddy. You need to--"
"God. Will you just... shut up and go take a shower already?"
Chris froze. His arm was outstretched; he'd been passing a drink to him.
"What?" Chris' voice was tight, and Kevin watched how the Scotch seemed to vibrate and shimmer in its glass.
"Please. Go shower. Your cologne. It's... It's making my nose itch."
"I'm not wearing cologne."
"You've just spent an hour trying to convince me that I need to fuck my cousin. That the world would be a better place if I fucked my cousin, my male cousin, who is like a brother to me."
"I didn't mean it like that. I'm just sayin' the world would be a better place if it didn't shame you like that and make you repress these feelings and become even more upti--"
"Brian doesn't get me hot!"
"Yeah," Chris said. "You've convinced me. That's why we're going to tell 'C to fuck AJ instead."
Kevin snatched the drink out of Chris' hand and got the hell out of there.
He ended up in a guest room that was full of bamboo and pale prints. It was the most normal-looking space he'd seen here. He fought with the window, got it open, and leaned out--it was nice, how so few homes in California had screens on their windows. It was one of the few good things about this fucking place, though you couldn't pay him enough to make him stay anywhere but home in Kentucky. He missed it. He missed being at home with his wife. He missed going to bed with her every night. He wanted to hold her close every night, to make love to her and just be with her, and this whole thing was ridiculous. He didn't want to make love to anyone else, and he certainly didn't want JC to touch her. No matter what JC thought, this whole thing was up to Kevin. He just had to hurry up and fix JC before he slept with anyone else.
So that meant, what? He'd made that appointment with Justin for JC. Did he need to speed that up? There hadn't been anything else that had really grabbed his attention as something that needed to be dealt with, unless it was the whole thing with the way his body reacted to Chris' smell. Could he handle both of those things?
Hmm. Where had he left JC's phone?
Justin was a busy guy. Everyone wanted a piece of him, and Kevin knew there was a chance that he'd say no or get pissy because who was JC to be pushing him? But Kevin had to try, and when he fake hesitated on the phone and then said, "I'm sorry, J, I really am, but Chris showed up here all out of the blue, I just thought... old times, you know? Is there any chance you could comeover, do the music thing with me, before Chris has to leave?" Justin melted.
"Chris is there?"
"Yeah, man, but he says he can't stay long and like--"
"Why not? He's not doing anything, 'C. Why can't he make time for us?"
"I don't know, but if you could come over tonight or maybe tomorrow?"
"Yeah, yeah. I guess there's something I can cancel for tomorrow. Didn't want to do it anyway. Three okay?"
It would have to do. How much more damage could JC do in twenty-four hours?
"Yeah."
"Okay, I'll see you then."
"Thanks, J. This means a lot to me."
"No problem," Justin said and hung up.
Well, there wouldn't be any problems once Kevin was finished here.
He went to find Chris. He seemed to be privy to most of JC's secrets. Kevin would turn the tables on him and grill him. See if there was anything else he needed to put right.
Chris didn't seem too sure when he was told about the plans with Justin.
"Yeah, it'd be great if J and 'C started writing together again and shit. But, I don't know if you've noticed, but you're not actually JC. Justin's going to notice."
Kevin shrugged.
"Maybe he will and maybe he won't. And maybe you should give me some credit. I can handle it."
"He knows JC's musical style better than anyone."
"And he's so fuckin' eager to be friends with JC again, I don't think he'll notice."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah. And, you know what? If you're so fucking worried he's going to figure it out, why don't you run interference for me? You said that's what you used to do, so what's your problem? Too good to help out a Backstreet Boy? Or are you just a pussy and--?"
"Hey!"
JC's phone rang. Kevin grabbed it, and stuck his tongue out at Chris before answering.
"Yeah?"
"Why didn't you tell me your wife was coming?"
JC, finally.
"Why didn't you tell me you were planning to fuck your way through my band?"
"That's how it works."
"That's not how it works!"
"You said you do the same thing, Kevin. What did you expect?"
"I don't. I'm not a big, slutty, Samuel Beckett clone saving the world with my dick--"
"Hey!" JC said.
"Hey, hey!" Chris said and tried to grab the phone.
"Though I'll give you the benefit of the doubt and assume that that's really how it works for you, and you're not just using this as an excuse to get freaky with everyone you want."
"It's-- It's not."
"It's not like that," Chris said.
Kevin ignored him.
"I don't want to fuck your wife," JC said.
"Good. I don't want you to fucking touch her."
"I'd do it," JC said. "She's hot and all. But it's creepy."
"Kristin is not creepy!"
"No, no. Not like that. Just... I don't know who my father is, man. My biological father. Like when this started, I thought maybe my father had been like me, you know? And I love this life, but I don't want to make any babies this way."
"That doesn't even make sense."
"Yes, it does."
"Look, I'm not telling to you to fuck-- to have sex with my wife, but if you did, they'd be my fucking sperm."
"'Sperm'?" Chris said. "Why are you talking about--?"
"But would they?" JC asked. "Are you certain you know how the magic works? One hundred percent certain and willing to risk your future offspring--"
Oh, good lord.
"No. I'm not," Kevin said. "But it's not an issue. You're not going to fuck her. I'm working on things here. You should be back here tomorrow afternoon."
"Yeah?"
"I'm sure of it."
"Oh, that's great. Hey... do you think it would hurt, though, if I maybe watch a little porn with Nick and AJ tonight and do whatever comes naturally? Just to be on the safe side?"
"No!"
"Great!"
"No, no. I meant--"
"Oh, hey, they're calling for us. I gotta go."
"--don't do it."
Oh god.
*
After JC called, Kevin was still really agitated.
Chris thought it was overkill. What did Kevin have to worry about? They'd both agreed that JC wasn't going to fuck Kevin's wife. The worst that could happen now was that JC would come back knowing that Howie was great in the sack and decide that he wanted more of it. Howie had proved that he wasn't adverse to a little of the man-loving, and JC would easily hook up with him and it would be awful.
Howie was short and dark and pretty, and had a sweet temper to match his sweet voice. He was so sweet that JC was bound to fall in love if he was fucking him on a regular basis. And it would really be too much. Chris had three out of five of those traits, and it would burn, being so close to what JC wanted, but apparently not enough.
JC would be all in love and he wouldn't need Chris any more. He'd tell Howie about his leaps, and they'd probably laugh about it, how a leap had brought them together, and they'd talk about it, have long discussions about the differences in how JC fucked when he was JC and when he'd been Kevin. JC would stop calling for Chris' advice. He'd stop calling to share titillating details with him, and then that hot thing they'd just done for the first time ever--that hot phone thing that JC had said wasn't phone sex, even though Chris had really rather thought it was--would never happen again. And that would be a shame, a dreadful shame.
So. Yes. The worst had been done already. Kevin should just chill.
Kevin didn't agree when Chris told him so.
"I should chill?" Kevin said. "Why? Are you the expert here? Have you ever fucked a band mate? What do you know?"
Chris knew plenty. He opened his mouth to explain... then shut it again.
"Huh." Kevin quit his slump, sitting up straight and alert. "That's interesting. Which one?"
"I-- It's not like..."
"What's that? Chris Kirkpatrick's almost at a loss for words? Stop the presses."
"It's not like that!"
"It wasn't Justin," Kevin said. "I've seen you with him. Besides, he's too young."
"I'd never. It's gross that you'd even consider that!"
"You wanted me to fuck Brian, asshole."
"Oh, yeah. Okay, I'll give you that one. But I've never done shit with Justin."
"I don't think it's Lance. Though it's obvious he's--"
"You're a crazy, crazy man and you can leave Lance out of this."
"He's gay."
"Maybe. Probably. But we're not going to talk about it. And what's the point of this? You're just going to list all of the guys in my band? You wanna know about Joey, too, huh? Joey. Well, we've all seen Joey masturbating at least once and we've all walked in on Joey with a girl a time or two, but I'm pretty sure that still doesn't qualify as a threesome or anything to interest you--"
"I'm not asking out of curiosity. I--"
"It shouldn't even be an issue, what I've done with any guys. You're the one who's in the wrong body. That's the only reason I was asking you invasive questions before, to get you back where you belong."
Kevin stood up and held his arms out wide.
"Look at me. I'm not the only one out of my body here. Okay? I don't really give a fuck what you've done, except to prove you don't know shit."
He brought his arms in, smoothed a hand down his chest, down, down to cup his junk. It wasn't as sensual as it was when JC did it. It was angry, to make a point, but it was still a little sexy. Chris could maybe see it, JC touching himself in anger like that before yanking Chris forward hard.
"Tell me about this guy," Kevin said. "Tell me about JC. Which of you has he fucked? Which of you does he want to fuck?"
Chris knew--of course he knew--which of them JC had fucked. Couldn't help but know really, sharing the bus and all, but that wasn't his secret to tell. He sometimes played fast and loose with JC's secrets, but Justin's were another matter. Besides, that thing JC'd had with Justin was over. It had burned its course, no regrets. That couldn't be the reason Kevin was here now.
Kevin got all up in his space and pushed at him with little jabbing shoves to his shoulder.
"What are you hiding?" Jab. "What have you done with him?" Jab. "Why does he think you smell so fucking good?"
Chris knocked his hand away.
"Fuck off."
"Jesus, Kirkpatrick, how fucking clueless are you? Just tell me if there's any possible reason for the two of us to fuck. Because I'm getting the sense that there is."
Chris took a step back.
"What?"
"I think we should fuck."
"What? No. You're not gay."
"This--" Kevin jerked his hand down. Chris followed the gesture, and oh... Kevin was hard. Or JC's body was hard. "--has nothing to do with me."
"You're not gay," Chris said again, and immediately felt stupid for it. But holy fuck, what was he supposed to say? And was JC's body really interested... in him?
"This body thinks arguing with you is really fucking hot," Kevin said.
"Well... no offense, but that body also thinks it's really fucking hot to sing in front of an audience, too. And like... re-tiling bathrooms, and going to Starbucks, and maybe even traffic lights are hot. It's probably got nothing to do with me."
"You're sure? You and JC don't have any unfinished business?"
"I don't want to have sex with you!"
"It's not me!"
No, this so wasn't fair. Of course he'd thought about having sex with JC. And, hell, he wouldn't even mind having sex with Kevin, if Kevin was in his own body and was actually into it. But this, this wasn't right. He wanted JC to need him. He wanted to be JC's partner, providing assistance as he always had through all of JC's kinky leap adventures, and then be the guy JC came home to. It was stupid and it was private, and he didn't fucking want this half measure.
He'd had that before, kind of. When he'd been swapped with JC, at the end they'd... well. There'd been a lot going on there and Chris still wasn't entirely convinced that he'd had a deep-rooted need for any of it, but JC had sworn that Chris needed to feel free. He needed to give himself permission to want whoever and whatever he wanted without shame. And it had been this huge orgy. Okay, it was only a threesome, but it had fuckin' felt like an orgy because, holy fuck, Justin's mom. Chris was pretty sure that whenever you had sex with any of your buddies' mothers that automatically counted as an orgy. It probably counted as an orgy even if you just kissed her with tongue.
But there'd been a hot tub, and Lynn had pulled these two sets of nipple clamps out from nowhere. Yowza. Lynn had been all Hot, Wet, Dominatrix Mom and had played with them both and fucked them both and ended the night by watching them fuck each other. It had been mind-blisteringly hot. To this day, it was the wildest thing Chris had ever done. And the whole thing had also opened his eyes to JC, let him see beneath his surface geeky looks and freakish behavior.
And okay, so Chris has been maybe fascinated by JC ever since, but that doesn't mean he wants another halvsies, not-quite encounter with JC's body. It's the last thing he wants, especially since, after the last time, JC hadn't thought anything of it. He'd tried to talk to JC about it, but JC had been convinced that it hadn't been about Chris having sex with him, that it was about Chris learning to love and accept all of himself.
But what if it was the one thing necessary to bring JC back this time?
"Do you... Do you really think it might switch you back?" he asked.
Kevin looked thoughtful. He pat his dick--JC's dick--once. It still looked pretty hard.
"Yeah," Kevin said. "I think it's a good possibility. That is, I think if there's any doubt in your mind, any niggling thought that says, 'yeah, maybe Kevin's right,' then we should."
"Oh."
"I don't want to leave any stones unturned, any--"
"Cliches unsaid?" Chris said.
"Yeah."
"But you're still not gay."
"I'll figure it out."
Chris still didn't like it. Shouldn't it have made him feel a little excited? JC didn't look like a geek anymore. He had a fucking beautiful body. It shouldn't be a hardship to fuck it.
"I'm... uh. You want to?" Chris asked.
"We should."
Ugh.
"Um... okay, I guess..." There had to be some reason not to do this. Not now, at least. Maybe he could drink himself into it. What, what could he...? "But, um. We shouldn't now, right? Aren't you like in the middle of show over there? You switch back in the middle of... in the middle of... Fuck, I don't know what you guys sing. Switching back, it's not seamless though."
"Yeah," Kevin said. "That's a good point. We should wait until they're all on the buses."
"Great. Yeah, let's do that."
Chris left him there. He needed to break into JC's stash of really good stuff, not the pansy-ass liquor he'd served Kevin earlier.
*
Kevin wasn't gay. Not one fucking bit, and he was pretty sure that even if he was, Chris wouldn't be on his "to do" list. But that wasn't going to stop him. One, he was really horny right now. And, two, nothing stopped him when he was on a mission. He didn't accept excuses and failure, not from himself.
There was a chance this still wouldn't work, but he thought it made a certain kind of sense. If JC's leaps were always about sexual matters and Kevin didn't have any sexual issues that needed to be resolved, then it was highly likely that JC had one. And from where Kevin was standing, well, it sure looked like JC fucked around everywhere except for where it really counted. He'd never had a switch where the solution wasn't fairly simple and straightforward. People tended to be the most blind to the things that were right in front of their faces. He'd never had to go far out of his way to hunt for a solution. It was always right there, just needing to be puzzled out. So. It had to be either Justin or Chris.
And, yeah, Chris was weird-looking, kinda ugly and squat, but JC's body didn't seem to think so, the freak. And Justin was too much like Nick, not in looks, but still... Having to be gay with Justin would be much more traumatizing. So, he was going to do this, and he thought he knew how.
JC had just better check his fucking messages before going off to watch porn with Nick and AJ--or doing even worse things that Kevin didn't even want to imagine.
*
So Chris had maybe taken a hit or two of some of JC's silly shit, but no more than that because smoking up was just as likely to make him hyper-aware of the freakish, oh my God, that's Kevin in there-ness of the situation as it was to help him mellow out.
He'd gone down to the basement, down with the good whiskey and the big leather couches that didn't match JC's decor anymore, but were so fucking soft, both in the cushiness factor and texture-wise, that they'd spent plenty a night on them, as a band, stoned out of their minds and petting the fucking sofas. Chris loved it down here with JC's old stereo and the huge old TV and the smell that was really homey and JC-ish. Rich people really had the best basements, though maybe some of that was because Chris was really more comfortable in slightly-battered luxury than in the real thing.
He poured more whiskey, and decided that this was his nest and he was really happy here and he hoped Kevin never found him and he could just hide here in his soft haven and pet his dick and think about JC the other day, panting into the phone because he was such a freak and he'd loved taking pictures of Kevin's dick. It hadn't been JC's voice, but it had still been pure JC. JC who was so experienced and did so much freaky, kinky, crazy shit--and was so free and open about it--but still got so utterly turned on when he felt like he was doing something naughty.
Chris didn't really need JC's voice anymore. He loved JC's voice. It was a great voice, and it had certainly helped make them all a great deal of money, but he'd spent so many days and nights listening to JC speak in someone else's voice, talking about all sorts of things, but above all sex things, that the voice didn't matter. He'd learned JC's speech patterns. He knew JC's mind maybe better than he ever would have if he'd never had to listen for JC beneath the other voices.
It was like that stupid line in Justin's song, the one that made him sound like a fucking zombie. I just love your... brain.
Maybe, maybe he could do this with Kevin if they like... taped it for JC. JC had a thing for seeing himself in video. Or if he thought all along about how he'd describe it to JC later, and JC could demonstrate what "real" phone sex was. Imagine what JC would say about it if Chris called him. What he'd say when Chris said, "And then you put your dick in me and was so fucking huge and you know what my ass is like--don't laugh, don't you fucking laugh. I have a fine ass, really delicate. You have to treat it right, yeah, yeah, god, yeah, like that 'C, fuck, yeah, put your hand--"
Chris grabbed the base of his dick and squeezed tight. Fuck. Fuck. He was too much of a pussy to take Kevin up on his offer, but he was ready to shoot his load here, all pathetic and alone in JC's basement. Great.
He heard footsteps on the stairs and quickly tucked himself back into his pants.
"Hey," Kevin called. "You down here? The phone's for you."
That couldn't be right. No one would call JC's looking for him, not without trying his cell first.
"Chris?" Kevin called again. "JC says you're probably down here."
JC? Was the concert over already? How much time had he been moping down here?
Chris wiped his palms on his pants and cleared his throat.
"Yeah. Yeah, I'm down here."
Kevin came in, handed him the phone, and then stood there, looking at him.
"Hey," Chris said. "Maybe some privacy?"
Kevin snorted at that and backed up just far enough to sit on the other couch, directly across from him. Chris glared at him, but Kevin showed no sign of budging. Fine.
Chris brought the phone to his ear.
"Yeah?"
"Hey, Chris," JC said. Kevin's voice sounded all rumply and warm, and Chris thought maybe JC was calling from bed. He swallowed hard and resisted the urge to touch his dick. Not in front of Kevin.
"Hey, 'C. Everything okay? The show and--" The porn with the guys. "--everything?"
"Yeah, yeah," JC said. "Everything's good, and hey, look, me and Kev have been talking and uh..."
"I know you've been talking. He brought me the phone, you know. I can put two and two together."
JC chuckled.
"Yeah, it's like that song."
"What?"
"'You and you and me, together we make three,' something, something, something..."
Oh, for crying out loud. Was the world out to taunt Chris tonight or what?
"'C, you know that's a parody, right? A parody of us."
"It's still a good song. Nice beat, addresses a real-life issue in a soothingly lyrical way--"
"'C."
JC coughed.
"Yeah, yeah. Okay. The thing is, Kevin says he's ready to go back. He says this experience has brought him to several important realizations, mainly about what he wants out of life and how he wants to leave Backstreet now, while things are still fairly good, and he actually wants to be with the guys doing what they do. He's afraid that if he leaves it too long, he's going to lose that, you know?"
"Wow."
"Yeah. But it's cool, right? Doesn't want Backstreet to be a... a... sour taste left in his mouth."
"Doesn't want to be a bitter old man like us?"
"Oh, no," JC said. "We're not bitter. We're just... you know... we're..."
"Not as happy as we could be."
"Exactly, man. I knew you'd understand. You always get me, Chris, and that's really kind of awesome 'cause like. I know there's times when you really wish you didn't."
That made Chris feel guilty. It wasn't-- He didn't mind all that much.
"It's not all that bad," Chris said. "It's like, yeah, I don't want to admit it, but there's an international language of freaks or something that--"
"Transcends the different flavors of freaks?"
"Well. That's one way of putting it. I don't actually go around licking freaks, I--"
"I think you should."
Uh, what?
"Lick freaks? Is that like kissing toads?"
"Chris, um. Here's the thing. Kevin was talking to me, and he's right, man. I need to balls up and make a confession here."
Chris wasn't sure that he liked the sound of this.
"Don't do this just because Kevin tells you to. What does he know? He's only a Backstreet Boy."
Chris shot a glance over to Kevin. He was just sitting there, looking both amused and unimpressed.
"Backstreet," Chris said, putting as much of a sneer into it as he could. "Baaackstreeeet."
Kevin smiled and flipped him off.
"Chris," JC said. "I'm like confessing here. Could you maybe flirt with Kevin later?"
"I'm not--"
"I know how you flirt, man. I've been watching it for years."
Chris laughed.
"That's because you're a dirty, dirty voyeur."
"That's 'cause half of the time, it's aimed at me."
"Oh," Chris said.
"Yeah."
"It's kind of automatic, you know? I see pretty things and I just... run away at the mouth a little."
Chris squirmed a bit and wished Kevin would go the fuck away. He wasn't into public humiliation.
"I was flirting back."
"Oh," Chris said.
"Yeah."
"I, uh... I didn't notice that."
"Well, that's kinda my fault. I guess I've been real subtle. Like, uh. Well. When I leap, I... I don't really need your help that often."
Oh. Well, fine then. Chris swallowed the sudden lump in his throat and turned on the couch, so at least he couldn't see Kevin watching him learn just how pathetic he was.
"I just, um..." JC paused, and Chris tried to think of something. There had to be something he could count or lyrics he could recite in his head, something so he didn't have to listen to this.
"I just really like talking about sex with you," JC said. "Like I could get off on it, so like... I've been using you. Unfairly using you for--"
"JC, if it really bothered me that one of my friends, one of my really hot friends, was talking dirty to me all the time, do you really think I wouldn't say something?"
Jesus.
"So... you don't mind it?"
"No. Come on, 'C, don't be stu--"
"So, what would you say if I was in my own body, and I like called you up and wanted to talk about sucking you off or--"
Oh, shit. Fuck Kevin. Chris had to grab himself.
"--how I'd really like to rim you again sometime--"
Oh. Oh fucking shit.
"--only like when we were both in our own bodies, and uh..."
"Yeah." Chris cleared his throat. "Yeah, that would be okay, 'C."
"And if you maybe put the phone on speaker now, and I asked Kevin to take your shirt off."
"Uh... I don't... I don't know. Do we really need the third party? I could, I could be pretty good here with just this."
"No," JC said. "I think this one time, we want Kevin, too. You can ignore him, just put me on speaker, and I'll talk to him. I'll tell him how I want him to bite your tits, and--"
Chris fumbled with the phone buttons and looked desperately over at Kevin, who had moved, who was standing in front of him, pulling one of JC's tanks up off of JC's fucking beautifully-defined chest, all whipcord muscles, and--
"Are we on speaker yet?" JC was saying in his ear. "Come on, this will be good. He's never done a guy, you know, so I'm going to have to be really specific, going to have to spell out every last detail to him. How I want to touch your cock, how much I want to taste it, how I want your balls inside my mouth--"
Fuck.
"Oh, fuck. JC."
*
JC was holding Kevin's phone tightly, and holding his dick with an equally harsh grip, when he started to feel that familiar strange tingle.
"Fuck," he gasped, and tried to keep telling Kevin how to press forward, how to open Chris up and just take him, and--
*
Kevin gasped and shook and felt a familiar jolt, and oh, fuck, fuck, please.
He shook again, then wrenched his eyes open and--
Yes. Yes. Thank fuck.
This looked like AJ's bunk, and he really didn't want to why exactly he was here, but just... thank God.
He really hadn't wanted to know what fucking Chris Kirkpatrick was like. God.
He shuddered again.
Fucking NSYNC.
*
At some point, Chris must have dropped the phone completely. Maybe they'd rolled over it or something. He'd lost JC's voice--Kevin's voice--telling them what to do. But they'd been so far gone. And god, god, it wasn't fair that someone as inexperienced as Kevin was so, so fucking good at fucking him. Maybe it was JC's muscle memory coming into effect, it was so...
God.
"JC," he managed to gasp. "JC. Keep talking. Talk to me."
"Geez," JC said. "You're so demanding. Do you think you could just chill a moment, let me do one thing at a time?"
Chris opened his eyes and stared up at JC.
"Hey," he said, because he was cool and relaxed and the Master of Understatement even when he wanted to squeal and let everyone know that ohmigod, ohmigod, JC Chasez is fucking me and smiling like he likes it.
"Hey," JC said back, and leaned down so he could kiss Chris before thrusting again.
"Hey," JC said again, because JC was cool and relaxed and a master of understatement, too.
"Welcome back," Chris said.
JC smiled.
"You and Ziggy got me home once again."
Chris started to giggle. He was maybe not quite the Master of Cool that he claimed to be, but that was okay. He was happy and JC was fucking him; these things happened.
"What?" JC said.
It was kinda hard to hum while giggling and being fucked, but Chris managed well enough that JC caught on.
"Okay, Al, if that's the way you want it."
If you'll be my bodyguard,
I can be your long lost pal!
I can call you Betty,
And Betty, when you call me,
You can call me Al!
You can call me Al ......