Fic: Our Cracking Bones Make Noise [Part 1/3]

[snarkyscorp]

Title: Our Cracking Bones Make Noise
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: ~29,000
Pairing(s): Teddy/James (but a lot of gen James for the most part - honestly, this would have been pairingless if not for the recipient...who later dropped the fest >O)
Summary: After the death of his sister, James is out of control. As his family's last resort, Charlie offers to give James a spot on his dragon reserve in Germany, where Teddy will take him under his wing. There, James is forced not only to confront larger-than-life dragons in ways he never imagined but to deal with the loss of his sister and come to terms with his sexuality in ways that will ultimately help him heal and change his life forever.
Warning(s): ADW: 23/16-24/17 and character death (Lily Luna)
Author's Notes: Written for hp_rarities.
Heavily, heavily, heavily (did I mention heavily?) influenced by a certain movie called How to Train Your Dragon. Honestly. I ate, sleep, and breathed that movie while writing this fic.
Thanks to nuclearsugars for the cheerleading and la_dissonance for the hard work betaing something that I'm sure she never thought would make it to 29k. lol


Our Cracking Bones Make Noise

Potter House, Tipton St. John, England: September, 2019

"James, how does my hair look? Will you stay with me on the train? Can I sit next to you in the compartment? Will you show me around if I get lost? What if I end up in Slytherin? What if nobody likes me? Do you think Al will sit with us? Can you visit me if I'm in Slytherin, even though you're in Gryffindor? Is it-"

"Lily!" James growled, backing his little sister out of his bedroom. "If you don't stop bugging me, my head'll explode, and then we'll never even get to King's Cross, and you won't be able to find out how awful it'll be to get sorted into Slytherin, the absolute worst House in the history of Hogwarts. Merlin, let me get the rest of my things, will you? Go bug Albus."

Lily balled her fists and punched James in the shoulder with a sharp cry.

"Ow!" he snapped. "You asked for it."

"You wouldn't! Not before-"

"Mum!" James called, at the top of his lungs. If he'd been able to use his wand, he'd have cast a Sonorous Charm just to make it as loud as possible.

"You're awful!" Lily screeched, racing out of the room and right past Ginny, who had come running at his call.

"Lily, where are you-Merlin, James Sirius Potter, what did you do this time?" she asked, as Lily slammed her bedroom door shut behind her. Ginny moved to it, knocking lightly. "Lily, honey, we have to leave in ten minutes."

"Why do you assume I did something?" James asked, both brows quirked as he stuffed his toothbrush into his mouth. Automatically, it began to brush for him, impeding his speech as he went on. "She's just oversensitive."

Ginny raised her hand to knock again and then seemed to rethink that in favour of folding her arms. She fixed James with a knowing look.

James mimicked her with a roll of his eyes, toothpaste slopping out of his mouth. "What? I said I didn't do anything." He walked out of his room and pounded on Lily's door. "It's her fault!" he screamed into it, snorting. "There I was, just minding my own business, trying to get ready for Hogwarts, and she comes in and barrages me with stupid questions, so I-"

Lily's door opened and Lily stuck her head out to argue. "They aren't stupid questions! Mum, tell him they're not stupid questions!"

Ginny sighed, pressing her fingers to her temples and rubbing. "I'm going to get your father."

"Oh, he always takes James' side," Lily said, defeated.

"That's because it's the right side," James mumbled, walking back to his room, but not before he pulled his toothbrush out and stuck out his tongue at his sister behind Ginny's back.

Lily pulled her own face, tugging the sides of her mouth down obscenely and waggling her tongue at him while her eyes went cross-eyed.

"I saw that, both of you," Ginny said, making her way down the hallway toward the master bedroom. "Harry, come on, we are leaving in ten minutes with or without you."

Harry stumbled out of the bedroom half-dressed, zipping up his fly and waving his wand, all of his clothes doing themselves up.

"What? What's going on?" he asked, glancing from Ginny to Lily to James as a toothbrush flew out of the bedroom and stuck itself in his mouth.

Ginny, Lily, and James all started talking at once, and Harry's smile tipped to a dull frown. He held up his hands to try and quiet them down when Albus' door opened and he hauled his trunk out.

"Um, aren't we supposed to be leaving now?" Albus asked.

Ginny glanced down at her watch and cursed, which made Lily and James titter behind her back before she glared at them to stop. "All right, everyone-trunks, owls, robes, and selves outside in the car. Now!"

If the house had been loud before, it was an absolute cacophony of noise now, with trunks being dragged and spelled and owls screeching and James and Lily arguing and Harry asking where his shoes had gone and Albus' new owl, Littlefoot, nearly breaking out of his cage once outside the house. They all piled into the Vectra and Harry eased them out into the street.

oOo

King's Cross, London

The crowd of Muggles on King's Cross was bigger than they had ever seen it before. Lily scrambled to keep close between Harry and Ginny as she nervously pushed her cart towards the platform. Already, there was a subtle but noticeable queue of witches and wizards milling about waiting for their turn to push through the platform, all of them trying to act inconspicuous but not quite able to pull it off with the multitude of robes, cages of owls, and trolleys full of strange items.

"What if I end up in Slytherin, Dad?" Lily whispered, tugging on Harry's robes pitifully.

As Harry and Ginny took Lily aside to give the customary It's Not the House You're in But the Choices You Make speech, James and Albus wandered off towards a group of James' fourth year friends.

"How'd your summer go, Finnigan?" James asked, gripping his best friend's hand and grinning broadly at the sight of him. He nodded to the rest of the group, which comprised Hermione Cornwell and the Harrys, Harry Miller and Harry Shepherd. James never asked why there were a handful of Harrys, Hermiones, and Rons in every class-he didn't need to, as all three were still the most popular children's names of his age group.

"Was all right," Finnigan said, shrugging. "Spent the summer in Italy with Miller."

"What do you mean 'it was all right'? Summer was bloody amazing, James," Miller cut in. "We traveled all over Italy, got to see all the Italian birds-"

"Aw, I bet they're fit!" James whined.

"Did you at least get to kiss any of them?" Cornwell asked, glancing away. "Last time you made up these stories, they weren't even true."

"Were too!" Miller growled.

"Were not," Cornwell argued, rolling her large blue eyes at him. "My summer on the other hand, was amazing. Experiences the likes of which you lot simply cannot understand."

"What, did you meet someone?" James asked.

"As a matter of fact, I did! And he was way more-"

Interrupting their banter came the screech of a small owl bursting out of its cage. Albus jumped for Littlefoot, but nearly fell onto the Muggle train tracks trying to get him. In the end, Littlefoot flew up and up and up, looked down at them, and then darted down, divebombing a nearby Muggle policeman.

"Oi, what's that?" the policeman cried, waving his arms to try and get the screeching bird out of his hair. Littlefoot pecked the Muggle's hat and tried to carry it off with him.

"Littlefoot! Come here!" Albus cried, rushing after his owl.

"Albus, wait!" Ginny said, yanking Albus' arm to slow him down. Already half the train station was looking at them, and it seemed Ginny wanted to avoid any further public disturbances.

"Is this your bird?" the policemen growled, gesturing to the devil with wings atop his head and glaring at Ginny and Albus.

Harry pushed Lily towards James and his friends with a stern look. "Watch Lily," he said, and it was not a question and there was no room for arguing, so James didn't bother. He just watched his dad rush with Ginny and Albus to try and catch Littlefoot and explain themselves to the Muggle. James could already see Harry's hand itching for his wand and Ginny slapping it away several times.

"Your family's always getting into trouble with the Muggles on the platform," Shepherd teased.

"Do not," James argued, but he was grinning a bit. "I can't help it if my family's a lot of troublemakers."

"Present company included," Finnigan snickered.

James sneered. "I am a model student, I'll have you know." At the plaintive looks his mates gave him, he sighed. "Okay, name one time that I was a troublemaker."

"When you pasted Professor Longbottom's arse to the chair your second year," Shepherd offered.

"And the time you told your brother that there were nudists bathing in the Hogwarts Lake," Cornwell agreed.

"And the sludge incident during Potions!" Miller and Finnigan said at the same time, holding their stomachs as the entire group recalled the catastrophe that had landed James in detention for a week.

Even James had to admit it was a great memory, and he doubled over in laughter recalling it. "Okay, okay!" he amended through tears. "But that was just-"

"What's that?" Lily interrupted, gesturing down on the train tracks. "Down there, do you see it, James?"

Half unable to breathe or speak through his laughter, James waved Lily away. "Oh fuck me, that was a riot!"

"It's on the tracks, and it looks like a Galleon! James, do you see? James?"

Finally able to take a breath, James nudged Lily's hand away. "Yeah, I see it, Lily. Why don't you go help Mum and Dad find Littlefoot, okay? I'm busy." He gave a look to his friends, freckled cheeks flushed with mirth. "Sisters. Ugh."

"Tell me about it," Finnigan groaned. "I've got two of 'em, and they're right menaces. Especially when they get older."

"I think it's sweet," Cornwell argued. She promptly began to speak in babying tones. "She wants to hang out wif her biiig brotherrr."

"Shut it," James growled. "She's such a nuisance. I don't know why she can't just be brave like I was when I came to Hogwarts for the first time."

"You mean that first week when you nearly wet yourself during Defense Against the Dark Arts?" Finnigan asked, brows raised. "Yeah, real brave, Potter."

"I didn't wet myself!"

"I said nearly."

James and Finnigan squared up for further arguing but the sound of a scream startled them out of it. The noise chilled James' bones, and he felt something uncomfortable shift and pull and strain in his stomach. There was no mistaking Lily's voice, her scream echoing through the station. Everything seemed to move in slow motion. James couldn't run to the edge of the platform fast enough, his arm wasn't long enough, and somewhere between seeing Lily's frightened face at the bottom of the tracks and the train barreling out of the platform, James forgot he was a wizard who had a wand and may have been able to save Lily with magic.

Frozen on his knees at the edge of the platform, James' eyes were wide and dull, his heart hammering hard against his chest. Motionless and numb, James heard Lily's screams echo through his head over and over again. When he closed his eyes, he could still see the terrified look on her face, the pain, the fear wide in her pleading gaze. The train continued to breeze through the station, as if nothing had happened.

It took all of Harry's strength to keep James from jumping into the tracks as well.

oOo

Potter House, Tipton St. John, England: June 2021

Around the dinner table sat the Potter children and their parents. For the evening's meal, Harry had barbequed and Ginny had managed not to burn the potatoes and Albus had tried his hand at cranberry cupcakes with ginger icing on top. While they cooked, James had been a general nuisance as usual, pointing out every single thing Albus did wrong and calling him various insulting and insinuatingly feminine names until Albus abandoned the cupcakes altogether and punched James in the jaw.

Now, trying to eat a meal in peace seemed almost an impossible task. Harry kept his eyes trained on James between every bite, and Ginny was unusually quiet. Even though Albus kicked James' legs like normal and James flung his utensils at Albus under the table until Albus cried out, something seemed off. Finally, James realised that his dad was glaring at him more than usual.

Wiping his full brown fringe from his forehead, James leaned back and rolled his eyes. "What did I do now? Did Professor Longbottom owl?"

"Is there something you've done that you'd like to tell us about, James?" Harry asked, voice dulled as he set down his knife and form with a clatter. James could see the angry vein bulging in his dad's forehead, the one that warned he should tread lightly, though he'd long since stopped caring whether he upset his parents or not.

"Something new, you mean?" James asked, pretending to think as he turned his brown eyes up to the ceiling and rested his hands behind his head with a long stretch. "Besides accidentally setting fire to part of Hagrid's hut and hoisting Albus' knickers up over Gryffindor Tower for all of Hogwarts to see?" He hummed, then shrugged. "Nope. Nothing new I'd like to include in the Reasons I'm a Terrible Son Lecture you're about to give."

Ginny's utensils slammed down. The noise irked James, who'd heard it a thousands times before. Like when he was suspended for a month from Hogwarts during the winter of his fourth year or when he nearly got expelled for practicing underage magic during his summer after fifth year or when he and Albus got into a fights that ended with the two of them bleeding from nose, jaw, and arms. James barely remembered a time that his parents thought he was a good son, someone Harry could brag about at the Ministry, someone Ginny could be proud of when she showed his picture to her old Harpies friends. It was just the way things were-James was a pest, a disappointment, an arsehole, and other more colourful interpretations depending on who one asked.

So when Ginny's knife and fork scraped the sides of her plate in her frustration, James merely leaned forward, flopped his long, gangly arms onto the tabletop and sank his head into the crook of them.

"Go on then," James droned. "I'm sure you've got loads of new and degrading things to say about me. What is it this time?"

"You're such an arse, James!" Albus growled, kicking him hard.

"Albus, watch your language," Harry snapped. "And don't kick James."

"You always take his side!" Albus whined. "He's a terror, has been flicking silverware at me under the table, and all you're going to do is slap his wrist and tell him to behave next time! I can't fucking take this shit. I hate it when you're here," he spat at James, pushing his chair back and storming out of the room, dinner untouched.

"Albus, come back here," Ginny called, shoving her chair back as well to go after him.

The Potter house was large but not large enough that James couldn't help overhearing everything his mother and brother talked about just one room over while he and Harry sat poking their lopsided cupcakes.

"You know it's true!" Albus snarled. "You know that ever since Lily died-and I know nobody wants to talk about it, but it happened-James has turned into this huge dickhole with an attitude, and you guys just keep ignoring it, thinking it's all fine. It's not fair. I never do anything wrong-ever-and he still gets more attention, just because he's an arsehole."

"James is not an arsehole," Ginny whispered. James could tell by the tone of her voice that she was in mother-mode, probably kneeling in front of Albus or stroking his just-like-dad's hair. "He's going through a rough time. And we never give him extra attention, Al, you know that. We love both of you equally, and we'd do anything for you."

"James wouldn't."

"Yes, he would."

"No, I wouldn't!" James shouted, glowering as he leaned back in his chair to try and see them. "I hate you. Why would I do anything for someone I hate?"

"James!" Harry snarled.

"Yeah, well I hate you too!" Albus snarled, rushing into the dining room and shoving his brother's chair, knocking James backwards.

"Tosser!" James screamed as his head hit the floor. He scrambled up to his feet and launched at Albus, landing both of them against the long dining table.

The barbeque leftovers flew off the table as it bent with the weight of the two boys wrestling atop it, and the cupcakes slid off one end, the potatoes off the other, bread, drinks, and condiments crashing off the edges as arms and legs whipped and thrashed about. Albus landed a good punch to James' eye and James kneed Albus in the crotch before Harry grabbed James' shoulders and yanked him off his brother. James screamed obscenities as he lashed out and kicked Albus one last time as Harry struggled to pull him back. Albus likewise attempted to claw James' eyes out as Ginny grabbed him and flung him back.

Finally, Ginny whipped her wand out. "Petrificus Totalus!" she hissed, venom in her voice as she guided her spell at Albus. His short, muscled body stiffened immediately, went rigid as a brick, and toppled over. Ginny managed to catch him and cradled Albus down to the floor with care. "That's enough," she added, breathing heavily as she turned her glowering eyes to James.

"About time you shut him up," James growled, face twisted. "Was getting on my last nerve."

"You-outside-now," Harry whispered. He let go of James and pointed with one trembling, callused finger to the back door out of the kitchen.

James paused to catch his breath, eyes flicking from one parent to the other and finally to Albus. "You've got to be fucking joking," he argued under his breath.

"What did I just say?" Harry repeated.

"I dunno, something about being outside."

"I said now, and I mean now," Harry said, his voice taking on a rumbling, feral sound. "You think this is some kind of joke, James?"

"Harry-"

Harry held up his hand. "No, Ginny, Albus is right. With every mess we cover up, James just gets more and more out of control, and we just keep on ignoring it and hoping to Merlin he comes to your senses. This ends tonight."

"Going to finally beat some sense into me, Chosen One?" James barked, teeth gritted tightly and shoulders hunched in defense. "You think I even give a fuck what you have to say?"

"If you don't get outside right now, James…"

Though James knew his dad would never physically abuse him, he also knew he had brought Harry to the end of his rope, and whatever sanity was left there wouldn't be wasted on James after all the things he'd done. So he rolled his eyes, made a scoffing noise, and skulked out of the dining room, through the kitchen, and out the back door, slamming it behind him for good measure. He knew how loud it would be, how the hinges would rattle in his wake. Shoulders quaking with every heavy breath, James stomped out past the small garden in their backyard and kicked the nearest tree trunk as hard as he dared. One glance back and he could see his parents' shadows arguing through the kitchen window. Ginny was gesturing wildly, while Harry was dragging his fingers through his hair and bowing his head down with a stressed hunch.

"Stupid fucking shits," he hissed to no one in particular, kicking against the tree trunk again, this time so hard that his toes tingled. "Fuck!" Lifting his shaking fists, he began to lay into the rough bark, pretending it was his dad's face as tears swelled in his eyes. His dad, the greatest hero of all time, the awe-inspiring Harry Potter, Boy Who Lived and Got Everybody's Attention Because His Son Was A Murderer and a Mess.

By the time Harry entered the backyard, James' knuckles were swollen and bloody and he had sunk down to his knees in front of the tree, forehead resting sweaty against the beaten bark. James tried breathing in and out, real slow, like the Healers and Grief Therapists at St. Mungo's had tried to teach him last year when he'd been kept there for two weeks because he'd nearly strangled a Muggle kid who called him a pillow-biter. The Healers were all bent, told him to count to twenty and he'd be okay, to think of the magic flowing through his veins like calming waterfalls and bullshit. They didn't understand what he'd done, what he'd been through, how fucked up everything was inside his head. And the one time he'd told them how he was feeling, had told them he wanted to get a Time Turner and change things for the better, they had told him that was illegal and that the only Time Turners in existence were under heavy Ministry supervision.

All James knew was that counting to twenty and thinking of the waterfall of magic swimming through his veins had never gotten him anywhere. In fact, he felt worse than ever when their techniques and treatments failed, felt like he was a failure too, because everyone else could get over Lily but he couldn't.

"Stand up."

James gritted his teeth, pressed his forehead harder against the bark, until the splintery wood dug into his skin. The very last person he wanted to talk to was his dad. "No. Leave me alone."

Harry sighed. "I can't do that, James."

"Yeah, well, my life would be so much better if you just would."

"You don't mean that."

"Okay, except that I do mean it," James said, shooting Harry an exhausted look. "Just get on with it and tell me what you and Mum decided to do this time."

Harry looked away, a withered frown on his face, and this alone prompted James to stand to his feet. His laugh was cold and mirthless.

"So I'm right. Where are you sending me now? Back to St. Mungo's? To another Mental Healer specialist? To Azkaban? Just spit it the fuck out, Dad, so we can both go on with our lives."

"Germany," Harry barked. "We're sending you to Germany, to spend some time with Charlie and Teddy at the dragon habitat."

Of all the things James had been expecting, being shipped off to Germany certainly wasn't one of them. Fists balled at his sides, James thought of all the nastiest things he could retort and finally chose the most insulting one.

"So, I'm a troublemaker who picks on my brother and hates my parents, so you're sending me to my faggot uncle to cure me? What the fuck is the matter with you, Dad?"

"It's not up for discussion," Harry snapped. "You say another word against your uncle, and-"

"You'll what?" James asked, exasperation in his whine. His shoulders went slack as the tension began to ebb out, and he ran his hands both at once through his hair roughly. "You can't take anything else away from me-this pathetic body of bones and blood is all I've fucking got left. You've got my wand, my telly, my fucking life, Dad. And now you're sending me off…for how long?"

Harry hesitated for a moment, a dark frown showing the age in his thin mouth. His eyes swept over James, and it looked like he wanted to change the subject, but instead he answered: "Till Hogwarts."

James' jaw dropped. "All summer? This is a joke! A fucking nightmare, Dad! I hate you-I can't believe you would do this to me."

"What do you expect us to do, James?" Harry asked, waving his arms towards the house. "Your mum and I have tried everything we can think of, but there's only so much patience we can freely give before we're at our wits' ends over you. So tell me, what can we do?"

"I don't know," James spat. "Anything but sending me to be molested by my uncle, who-"

"Who can maybe teach you something worthwhile and try to provide a new sense of discipline and understanding and compassion? Yeah, sounds wretched, James."

"Fuck you."

"As long as you're underage, James, you will do what we say, no matter how much you hate it. Or us."

James folded his arms. "I turn seventeen in August, in case you've forgotten, Dad. You think I'm going to stay with Uncle Charlie then at his fag-ranch with all the-"

"This discussion is over!" Harry shouted suddenly, drawing close and pinning James to the tree trunk with just a look. Harry's nostrils flared, eyes fiery and alert. "There's nothing more I have to say to you except that if your bags aren't packed by morning, you'll go without them, and I mean that-no owl, no trunk, no clothes, no nothing."

"But, Dad-"

"Don't make me repeat myself, James. I'm not in a patient mood, and I'm tired of watching you walk all over us. I love you."

James scoffed. "Yeah. Right."

"I love you, James," Harry repeated, pressing his hand to James' shoulder until James shrugged it off. "But there's only so much we can do to show you that. The rest you have to learn on your own and see for yourself."

For a quiet moment, neither of them spoke. Their eyes darted over each other, shoulders squared for further arguments, and then all of a sudden, James darted away, flipping his father off on his way into the house.

Slamming the kitchen door behind him, James stomped his way through the kitchen and dining room, passing his mother on the way to the stairs. When she tried to stop him, he smacked her off.

"I hate you both," James growled, storming up the stairs as loud as he dared.

It was unfortunate for Albus that he happened to be exiting the upstairs loo and ran into James on his way to his bedroom.

"What the fuck are you staring at?" James asked him.

"Nothing," Albus mumbled, teeth gritted. "Just leave me alone, okay?"

"Bet you had something to do with them sending me off, didn't you?"

"Sending you off where? I didn't-"

"Don't pretend you don't know!" James screamed and shoved forward, pushing Albus into the wall.

Albus shoved back, until once again they were throwing punches and kicking one another in every tender spot they could find. It was only when James elbowed Albus off the top step that James seemed to come back to himself. Albus tripped down the first step and caught himself on the second, hunched down on his knees and gripping the staircase banister as if for dear life. James could see Albus tumbling, could imagine the damage that could have been done had Albus continued to fall head-first down an entire flight of stairs.

The two brothers remained where they were, staring at one another, until Ginny appeared at the bottom of the stairs, staring up.

"What's going on up there?"

James' blood ran cold, and for a moment, he wasn't sure if he was actually breathing or not. All he could see was Albus gaping at him like he'd never seen him before and images of Lily's frightened face, cold and alone at the bottom of the train tracks. The whistle of the train rang loud in his ears, brutal and unending, until there was no other sound when Albus opened his mouth to speak and the words on his mother's lips looked like gasps of last breaths before death.

Finally, James wrestled himself from the spot he'd frozen upon and jerked away towards his bedroom. On his way, he passed Lily's closed bedroom door, the room he hadn't visited since she died. Heart pounding and throat closed with choking thickness, James managed to stumble into his room before he let the tears swell and fall freely. Locking his door, he kicked his bedposts, threw his books, and punched his owl's cage until the door of it swung open and his owl hooted indignantly, fluttering off out of his bedroom window and into the night.

Sinking to his knees at the foot of his bed, James envied his owl. At least she could fly off whenever she wanted to. At least she would never know what it was to have guilt balled up inside her like an iron fist, would never understand disappointment or grief or the complex and awful emotions of the human mind.

At least she hadn't killed her sister and wasn't being sent off to Germany for Merlin knew what reason. All James knew was that his entire family hated him, and he would have gladly changed places with Lily to keep the dull, listless thud of his aching heart out of his thoughts. Every beat reminded him what he'd lost, what he'd done, and what he'd never be able to do, all the bitter insecurities of his life and future.

When he packed, he threw everything into his trunk and stayed awake until the wee hours of the morning, when the town beyond his windows was still asleep and somewhere down the hall, he knew his parents were in happy slumber, content not to think about the son they would just as soon disown as try to reach.

oOo

"Black Forest", Baden-Württemberg, Germany

As James stepped out of the Floo, he didn't know what to expect. Maybe he thought Charlie or Teddy would be waiting for him, maybe he thought he'd be surrounded by massive dragons, or maybe he thought he'd mispronounced "Schwarzwald Weasley Cottage" when he'd spoken his destination and would wind up somewhere altogether worse than his planned target. Whatever he'd been thinking, it was nothing to the deafening noises and rush of people that greeted him as he stepped out of the flames and into his new summer home.

The Schwarzwald Weasley Cottage was massive-full of vaulted, wood-beam ceilings, towering walls, and floor-length panes of glass for windows-and from what James could tell, he'd come in through the wrong way. Men with immense arms and hide-plated armor waved their wands about and women covered in tattoos and weighed down with armfuls of weapons or feed raced past. The room James stepped into was filled with worn chairs of every shape and size, filled to the brim with hard-metal weapons that James had never seen before and piled high with boxes marked in a language James didn't understand: korn one said and frucht another.

Everyone was moving so quickly, seeming to be in such a hurry, that James didn't know how to stop them to ask if he had arrived in the right place or not. He was half-hoping this wasn't right, that he could try again, when he spotted a familiar, blue-haired head in the back of the room.

Even from a distance, James could tell it was Teddy. They hadn't seen one another since Teddy had come to stay the weeks after Lily's funeral, though James had heard his dad talk to Teddy through the Floo a handful of times when he wasn't supposed to be listening in. In the past few years, Teddy hadn't changed much, though James couldn't help but stare at the new series of tattoos and scarring sweeping over Teddy's thick biceps and curling around the small of his wrists. Teddy was bigger, certainly, had sprouted a final inch at least and thickened everywhere else. He looked more like Charlie than the photos of Remus that Harry had shown them all.

As if sensing James' apprehension and gawking stare, Teddy chose that moment to glance towards the Floo. His stern, angled face brightened a hair, and he gestured a few times to the two women he was talking to before making his way through the crowd in a beeline for James.

"Hey, James," Teddy offered when he got close enough, holding out his hand. "All right?"

James ignored the outstretched hand and stepped to the side to duck Teddy's incoming hug under the guise of checking his trunk. "Where's my room?"

Teddy rolled his eyes. "Nice to see you too. Excuse the mess-Charlie just handed out the duties for the day, and everyone's getting set up, so just watch your step and stay out of the way." Teddy reached out too fast for James to completely duck the fond muss of his hair, and Teddy grinned in victory. James could see the sharp lines that drew Teddy's perfectly-white, perfectly-straight teeth. "Come on. This way."

Teddy nodded towards a long hallway to the right, but James didn't budge.

"What about my trunk?" he asked dully.

"What, you can't carry it?"

James gaped like Teddy had asked if he wanted to eat spinach for breakfast. He was sure Teddy knew that James weighed barely eight stones and was more or less a talking fishbone-skinny, underweight, gawky, lean, and absolutely opposite of Harry and Albus and Ginny. The odds of his picking up that trunk and carrying it all the way to Merlin knew where were so small that James didn't know how else to describe it but impossible.

Instead, he settled for a mumbled, "No," as he bowed his head, shaking his fringe over his forehead in embarrassment. This trip was already starting to look worse and worse the longer he stood opposite someone as fit and muscled and strong as Teddy Lupin.

"I think you can," Teddy said, startling James so badly that James jerked his head up to blink at him. "Oh, don't look at me like I just asked you to lift a dragon over your head, kiddo-you're not so scrawny that you can't drag a trunk about half a kilometer without collapsing, I know it. So pick it up at the handle and let's go."

Teddy started to walk off down the hall, but James folded his arms, glowering after him. "No," he snapped.

"I haven't got all day, James," Teddy hummed, already midway down the hall and disappearing fast. "Either you come, or you can sleep there in the Floo. I'll tell you what, I wouldn't want to sleep in that drafty old thing, what with all the folks coming and going at all hours of the night." Teddy's voice began to grow dim, and James couldn't even see him anymore. "But, your choice."

James waited. Everyone had come and gone, and the large, open, woodsy room suddenly felt incredibly empty and hollow and frightening. It was the first time James had been away from his family and friends all by himself since his first year at Hogwarts, but back then, he'd been an easygoing kid with no baggage on his shoulders. Now? Now, he didn't want to be left completely alone, much as he thought he did.

With a groan, James swept his fringe out of his eyes and grabbed his trunk, beginning the arduous process of dragging his belongings behind him the Muggle way. Without magic to guide it, James realised just how pathetically out of shape he actually was. By the time he found Teddy chomping on an apple in a large, open kitchen through the other side of the hallway, sweat was beading down his back and matting his hair to his forehead and neck. Out of breath, he paused and let go of his trunk, letting it fall back with a clunk.

"Take you that long just to get down the hallway?" Teddy asked with a full mouth.

"It was a long fucking hallway," James countered, wiping the sweat from his brow with the back of his skinny forearm. He glanced around and then fixed an angry glare at Teddy. "This isn't my room."

"Well spotted. This is called a kitchen. You know, where people store food." Teddy gestured to the row of large freezers and refrigerators lining the wall behind him. "These ice boxes behind me keep all the food for the folks staying at the habitat, so when you're hungry, you come here. We don't have house-elves, and a lot of this stuff is Muggle-only, especially for you since you're underage. Got it?"

"You mean…I have to cook my own food?"

Teddy shrugged, finishing off his apple with a final crunch. He wiped the juice from his sharp, stubbly chin with the back of his hand. "You've cooked before. What's the issue?"

"Cooking's for faggots."

With a loud, booming laugh, Teddy shook his head. "Jesus Christ. I think you mean baking is for faggots, yeah? That's the stereotype. Annoying as it is, you may as well at least get it right. And call someone around here a faggot with that kind of tone again, and you're liable to get thrown in with a dragon for its dinner, James. Don't make me remind you of that again."

James growled, frustration in his gesture as he threw his hands up in the air. "Just show me to my goddamned room already! I don't give a fuck about dragons, I sure as hell don't give a fuck about you, and I don't need to hear the rules and regulations of your pussy-arsed faggot camp, all right?" James' face felt warm under Teddy's scrutiny, so he glanced away, out another full-length window to the far right, where the mountains and forest could be seen sweeping beyond the early morning light. "Just…leave me the fuck in peace so I can get this fucking trip over with."

Beyond the windows, James could see the endless lines of thick forest trees, dark and light and every color of green in between, the sunlight splaying and reaching out over the ruffled tops of every timber. Between two mountaintops, a river wound through, glistening in the light of day and bluer than anything James had ever seen before in his life. For a moment, he allowed the serenity of the natural world beyond to envelop and calm his temper. He wondered if Teddy would let him go exploring, if he could just disappear into the wilderness and live off the land and never be heard from again.

Teddy's presence beside him startled James out of his sudden reverie. He pretended not to notice, but the stiffness in his shoulders and the grit of his teeth was unmistakable.

"Pretty cool, huh?" Teddy asked, stepping in front of James to point out a line along the tops of the trees. "We're about a thousand metres up, so we get the best view, but behind us, there are even bigger mountains and dense forests that keep us under a good cover. Maybe tomorrow, I can show you around."

James glanced towards Teddy, but Teddy continued to look out the window, so James took the opportunity to study the dark lines that drew his god-brother's hard features. Up close, Teddy's skin was tan and weathered, and the light stubble that James saw from afar seemed to spread from the rise of his cheeks down under his chin and over his neck and jaw, as if he'd gone a few days without shaving at all. There were bruises on his strong shoulders, which were exposed in the simple v-neck vest that clung to his toned body. Teddy's biceps were thick, and the familiar dragon-print tattoo that James remembered seeing years ago had been coloured and filled in around his mid-arm, where the new tattoos met and spiraled down to his wrist. Bracelets of thick metal, hide, bead, and hair coiled about his lower arm and a few unadorned rings wrapped around his fingers and thumb. The buckle of Teddy's belt was the size of James' whole fist, made of a dark red material and shiny in the glinting sunlight off the window panes.

From the shine of his dragon-hide boots to the coil of electric-blue hair at the top of his head, Teddy was a lean, tough, rippled form, and James felt even more out of place standing beside someone like him. Someone who measured up, had courage, did unthinkable things and led a wide, fulfilling life. Not someone who messed up at every turn, who couldn't relate to a single person in the world, who was to blame for everything that got fucked up. Teddy was nothing like James, and it only made James itch for home yet again.

"Your room's this way if you want to follow me along," Teddy said finally, gesturing to a large door just to the other side of the kitchen. "Pick up your trunk if you're coming."

James sighed but didn't bother verbally disagreeing again. The more energy he wasted, the more time it would take to get to his room, and the solace of it would be good for him. So he grabbed hold of his trunk at one of its handles and began to drag it along.

Teddy led him out into a massive courtyard, with dark rocks and gravel littering the path. The added terrain didn't do anything to help how heavy the trunk suddenly felt, as if he wasn't only dragging clothes and books but boulders and tree trunks and giants to boot. They stopped several times in the warm sun to give James time to readjust his grip or have a rest.

It wasn't long before James noticed that the courtyard they'd walked into was flanked by a circle of small cabins, with a few large ones behind them from where they'd come. The entire courtyard was protected from most of the sun by towering trees, but there was a gaping hole straight overhead when they stood in the centre that let all the heat of the sun through and bathed them in light. The little cabins were separated by dense shrubbery and wild bushes, flowers that towered nearly as tall as James and leaves in colours he'd never seen before. Dragon prints littered the pathway, and James tripped into a dozen of them on the way to a cabin as far away from the kitchens as possible.

It was that particular cabin that Teddy gesture towards as he ascended the five steps up to the skinny front porch, where he grabbed hold of the front door and yanked it open.

"Here you are." Teddy held the door open while James grabbed his trunk and struggled it up the stairs one at a time, taking breaths in between. "This is yours while you're here. Keep it clean, because nobody else will do it for you, and the dragons aren't stupid-if they smell leftover food strewn about your cabin floor, they'll sneak in and nick it right behind your back."

"Thanks for the help," James muttered, finally succeeding in getting his trunk over the threshold, where he kicked it with the last ounce of his strength to the side of the wall near a small, round, wooden table.

A quick glance around the cabin was all it took to understand what he was dealing with-all wood, one bedroom with a small washroom, a table and two chairs, and a loveseat completed the entire premises. No telly, no wireless, no private kitchen-nothing but the bare necessities. It made James feel unbearably alone, even with Teddy crowding the space with him. The cabin was sweltering already, and a few flies buzzed in through the open front door with the breeze.

Falling into the couch, which happened to be even less comfortable looking than the hard-wood chairs, James wiped the streams of sweat from his face and neck. The warm breeze helped as it wafted in from outside, and James moaned as it cooled his tired, hot skin.

After a few minutes of silence, James peeked his eyes opened, only to find Teddy standing near the door, grinning at him.

"You can go any time," James said stiffly.

"Thanks for the permission."

"You're welcome." James closed his eyes, willing Teddy to disappear.

"I bet that's the kindest conversation you've had with someone in years," Teddy murmured. "Too bad it's still insincere."

"Excuse me, didn't I say you could go?"

"You do realise you're not on vacation, don't you?" Teddy asked, stomping closer until James was forced to open his eyes to ensure Teddy wasn't going to hit him. As Teddy bent and brought his face close to James', the confident grin on Teddy's face irked him more and more. "If you're tired, get over it. If you're aching, suck it up. If you're ready to keel over, that just means you're alive and you should be thankful. Now, get up, wipe your face off if you need, and come with me."

James whined, all the energy seeped out of his veins from hauling his trunk halfway across the world. He stood with heavy bones, shoulders hunched and head throbbing with a headache already. "What else are you going to have me do? Run a sodding marathon?"

Teddy's grin was absolutely feral. "Oh, James. You haven't seen anything yet."

James had a bad feeling he was going to miss home a hell of a lot more in a few minutes, so he stalled as long as he could splashing water on his face to wipe it clean and changing into a better shirt and tennis shoes. Teddy didn't say anything once he was through, just gestured for James to follow, and somehow, despite everything that said he didn't want to, James did.

Teddy led them out of the cabin and back towards the courtyard, which was a hell of a lot shorter distance-wise without his trunk dragging behind him. The warm mid-morning breeze rustled James' fresh shirt, and the fresh air felt good when he breathed it in. It smelled like fresh pines and far away chimney smoke, rushing water, blossoms, and tall, strange grasses. It reminded James a bit of his grandmother's garden at the Burrow, where James could recall some of his best memories, playing outside with Albus and Lily, teaching his cousin Hugo how to ride a broomstick and baking with Grandma Weasley.

Frowning, James folded his arms, tucking the fond memories into the back of his mind to recall at a later time. Again, he dreamed of wandering the woods and lakes and mountains without Teddy, without anybody, completely alone. Memorizing the path as they veered out of the courtyard and down a long slope, James glanced back up in time to see the hillside where the cabins were located begin to disappear.

"Where'd the cabins go?" he asked, twisting to look through the sudden mist that had appeared around the clearing for the courtyard some metres back.

"There's a concealment spell over the whole camp back there," Teddy explained. "You're cleared to walk through the mist, and you'll be just fine, but if somebody-a stranger or Muggle-wandered towards it, they'd suddenly realise they were looking for something in the exact opposite direction and turn immediately around."

"Ah," James said. He'd read about spells that could conceal entire places, and in fact his dad had discussed them over dinner many times regarding various Auror assignments, but James had never seen something like it in person. As they climbed down the hillside, James continued to glance over his shoulder at the weird mist. It was because of his curiosity towards the spell that he tripped over a large rock in the slope, stumbling forward until Teddy grabbed his arm to settle him. "Thanks," he murmured.

"Keep your head up and eyes forward," Teddy said, grinning. "Don't want to miss the dragons, do you?"

James scoffed. "Miss the dragons? As if you can miss a dragon."

"Trust me. Around here? You can." Teddy slipped his wand out of the pocket of his jeans and pointed it towards the forest ahead as the slope eased into flatter ground. His stance said he was preparing to defend himself against something, which made James nervous. It didn't help when Teddy added, "Dragons are hunters, you know. Like lions and wolves, they like to stalk their prey before they maim, kill, and eat it."

James shrugged, but a strange chill ran up his spine. "I knew that."

"For example, the Chinese Fireball has teeth so sharp and so strong that they can cut through five human skulls without a hitch."

With a roll of his eyes, James trudged on, the noises of the forest growing louder and stranger as they descended into the mountainous glade. "You're just trying to scare me. How could you possibly know that its teeth can cut through five human skulls?"

Teddy glanced over his shoulder, grinning. "I've seen it happen."

"No fucking way," James challenged. "Your dragons are tamed at the habitats. I've read that they-"

"Have you ever seen a dragon, James?" Teddy asked. He stopped so fast to turn to face James that James nearly ran into him.

"Well…no. But-"

"I eat, sleep, and breathe with them twenty-four hours a day. Trust me. I've seen what their teeth can do." Teddy pushed on, and James reluctantly followed, shuddering when Teddy added, "We've got four Fireballs, and by the way, it's impossible to tame a dragon. Anyone who tells you differently has never tried, because if they had, they'd be dead instead of talking to you."

While James wanted to think Teddy was still trying to scare him, it began to feel more like wishful thinking than any kind of reality. James hadn't paid very much attention in Care of Magical Creatures, so the few lessons on dragons went in one ear and out the other. Right then, he'd have paid a hefty sum to go back and listen in on one of Hagrid's lectures again to get the facts straight.

They continued to walk, trudging through the hard dirt, low grass, and between taller than the sky trees, until they were immersed in the woods. James could hear a stream or river not far away, but one glance backwards looked the same as it had ten minutes ago. How he would ever find his way around without Teddy to guide him was beyond James. To pass the time, he decided to find out a bit more about the dragons before he met them face-to-face.

"So what other kinds of dragons do you have?"

"Four Fireballs, like I said, two particularly vicious Peruvian Vipertooths, a mated pair of Swedish Short-Snouts and their cub, one massive Ukrainian Ironbelly, a Hebridean Black, five Common Welsh Greens, and one that we can't identify as of yet."

James blinked, struggling to keep up with Teddy's quick pace over the rough, now hilly terrain, tripping over boulders, rocks, and exposed roots. "Wait, you mean there are unidentified species of dragons?"

Teddy glanced back, both brows raised. "You didn't pay attention in any of your Creatures classes at Hogwarts, did you?"

The tops of James' ears and cheeks burned. "Yeah, I did, thanks. Just don't remember them talking about-"

"No use lying, mate," Teddy said. "If you did, Hagrid certainly would have told you about the work we're doing here and why Charlie moved from his Romanian reservation to found this habitat."

James shrugged, kicking a rock aside as he traipsed after. "What's so important about it anyway?"

"Charlie's been chasing this particular dragon for years to find out where he came from. See, most dragons can tell you a lot based on their scales, size, horns, flames, diet, droppings, blood, and all kinds of things. But this one-well, it's still a mystery, and we've chased him across half a continent."

"But I thought you said you had him here at the reserve. How can you be chasing him if he's already here?"

Teddy snorted, brushing his hair back with one strong hand. "When you meet him, you'll understand-he won't let anybody near enough to study him in the way we need to determine his origins."

James made a face. "Can't you just… I dunno, hex him still or something?"

"The first rule in this place, James-we don't hex anything. Show the dragons the same respect you would show any human, or in your case, more respect."

"They're just dragons," James argued darkly. "Who cares?"

Teddy stopped and whizzed around to face James. "You say that to Charlie, and I imagine he'll show you who cares, James." With a sigh, Teddy went on, his blue hair going a bit green as his voice growled. "Everyone at the reserve, with the exception of you, is here because they want to help dragons, because they love them and want to do research that is both healthy for dragons and healthy for wizards too. The information we gather here is so valuable that it saves lives from here to the other side of the world and beyond." Teddy's eyes swept over James, who wasn't quite sure what to say to that, and then rolled before they looked away. "Come on."

"How long before we get there?" James whined after another minute had passed.

"Tired? This is the trek you're going to have to make every day. The rest of us have our Apparition Licenses, so we can get there a bit quicker, mind."

James groaned, shoulders slumped. "You've got to be kidding."

Laughing, Teddy gestured ahead, to a low, dark cloud of mist. "Just a few more steps."

"A few more-"

The disbelief died on James' lips as the mist began to coil and swim around their feet. James would have asked what the hell was going on, but he had a pretty good idea by the time they were fully-immersed in darkness and walking hazily towards a dim light. It was like being surrounded by heavy storm clouds, and the colours were so dark that James could barely see Teddy, who stood a short distance in front of him. Coughing a bit, James stumbled further forward towards the small slivers of light shining through and suddenly it was as if there had never been a dark cloud of mist at all. The second they popped out through the other side, everything was clear, and at the sight that awaited him, James' jaw nearly dropped to the ground.

Directly ahead of him towered what could only be described as the biggest dragon James had ever seen in his life. It happened to be the only one he'd seen in person, and something about it took James' breath away. The metallic gray scales glinted in the sunlight that streamed down atop its hide, and its massive wings spanned at least seven metres and included long, sharp, bird-like talons that arched out from the tips of each wing at its height. Its long tail wound and shook about its body, sharp ears alert and deep red eyes focused on three burly men trying to distract it with food.

James took an instinctive step back, wishing he could get lost in the mist again, because certainly what he was seeing was just not fathomable. The giant dragon was so big that James felt like a twig of grass in comparison. And despite the insurmountable fear that writhed through his body in a sudden, gut-wrenching twist, James also felt awe and wonder sweep through him in the same breath. As badly as he wanted to get away as fast as possible, he also found his fingers itching to reach out and touch, to feel the scales beneath his grip.

"That's the Ironbelly," Teddy said, leaning in beside James to whisper it in his ear. "Tread lightly with her-she's a handful and a half, even for those of us who know what we're doing."

"She's huge," James stuttered, throat dry.

"Well, what did you expect, mate? She's a dragon, and one of the biggest in the world to boot."

Staring up at the Ironbelly's massive body and long, thick neck, James was almost dizzy with the task, but he couldn't take his eyes off her either. It was strange to think of a dragon as beautiful, but her thunderous purrs and the reflective properties of her scales and hide were exquisite. The sight alone gave James chills like he'd never experienced before. With a pang of grief, he wished the rest of his family was there to experience it with him. The longing passed quickly when James thought of how happy they'd all been to see him leaving for the summer.

"Come on," Teddy murmured. "I'll show you around and get you started on your duties."

James spared one last stare at the Ironbelly as she howled for her food before he followed Teddy around the reserve.

"And you might need one of these, mate," Teddy added, shoving a hefty hide into James' arms.

Weighed down with it, James nearly fell forward trying to lift it up again. When he unwound the straps, he found it was a breastplate of armor, made up of thick, hard dragon hide. Barely able to walk upright with it on, he did his best, because Teddy was wearing one too, and if Teddy the professional keeper could still get hurt, James needed all the help he could get.

Read Part 2/3