When we got Dane, he was basically an emotional wreck. Everything scared him and he looked at us on a regular basis like he wasn't sure we weren't going to beat him ( Read more... )

I'm watching The Millionaire Matchmaker tonight, largely because I'm exhausted from traveling back from Canada all night. (It's a long story. I hate the airlines.)

This Millionaire Matchmaker business is presque comme une trainwreck (just in Canada, people). Plus, it comes on after The Real Housewives of Orange County, which is a TOTAL ( Read more... )

I have a client who was court ordered into a treatment program.  So she should be at that treatment program.  In fact, it's PUBLIC RECORD that she should be at that program.  The court file says she needs to be there, the internet says she should be there, and so on.  Imagine my surprise when I called the treatment program and had the following ( Read more... )

In fact, I'm not actually a hypochondriac, because I've actually had the following medical issues. I so love having to go to the jail.

1. You should not get E. coli 0157:H7. I came, I saw, I...well...my stomach still hurts. For extra fun, you can't take antibiotics. Because you'll like die or something. At this point, I'm kind of like, " ( Read more... )

No one panhandles when I walk the following:


( Read more... )

Dear Client ( Read more... )

When you embark upon your $180,000.00 education, you never think you will assert the following in a professional capacity.

"Look, I'm sorry, but if you were holding a knife to her throat, there is just no way a jury is going to believe the sex was consensual."

Yeah. Thank you, Society of Jesus, for adequately prepping me for this.

Not.

Conversation with client ( Read more... )

1. Our dog, Dane, likes the Lawrence Arms. I was talking to Kris about them earlier, then I put on their music today, and it soothed the savage beast ( Read more... )