Diluted
Name: Diluted
Fandom: Super Junior
Pairing: Heechul x Kibum
Rating: 14+, this is some angsty angst. Seriously, this is angst. ANGST.
Words: 532
Notes: It made a lot more sense in my head.
The bath water is lukewarm.
He doesn’t know how long he’s been in there, an hour, maybe two. Soon Heechul will be home, he’ll smile and laugh and joke and Kibum will mimic his actions.
Both of them pretend that they’re happy.
Kibum remembers the night when Heechul snaps. They’re sitting on the couch watching TV, the house is quieter now that Hankyung is gone and neither of them know what to do. The barrier is gone, they’re the only ones home, nobody stands between them.
He’s surprised when Heechul pushes him down onto the couch and he doesn’t know what to do when Heechul forces their lips together. Kibum tries to pull away, he really does, but he soon finds his arms around Heechul. He wants more and Heechul is ready to give.
Heechul’s hands shake as he takes off Kibum’s shirt and Kibum can only lay there with wide eyes. He watches as Heechul dips his head and swirls his tongue around his nipple. He hates the noises that come out of his mouth. He runs his hands through Heechul’s hair and for a moment he truly believes that what they are doing is right.
Heechul starts swearing when Kibum pushes him away and scrambles off the couch, clutching his shirt against his chest.
“I can’t do this,” Kibum says, his composure is gone, his shell cracked.
“Kibum, please.” He hates the desperation he hears in the older man’s voice.
“It’s wrong.”
All he needs to do is get to his room, shut the door, turn the lock and he’s safe. Heechul
grabs hold of Kibum’s hand and stops him.
“We can’t live like this. Fuck, we’ve been eye fucking each other for years.”
“I’m not like you!” Kibum yells as he pulls away from Heechul.
For a moment he wants to apologize, take back his words. The look in Heechul’s eyes break his heart and Kibum knows he’s lying. He knows that neither of them believe what he’s saying.
“You’re my hyung. That’s it.” His voice shakes and he tries to ignore his tears. “Nothing more.”
Heechul frowns and reaches out to Kibum. He grabs his head, smashes him against the wall and Kibum cries out when Heechul forces the kiss onto him. The two struggle for control, neither of them knowing quite what to do. Kibum hits Heechul’s chest with his fists, wanting to get away, wanting to break apart from the violent kiss.
Heechul jumps back when Kibum bites down on his tongue.
“This never happened,” Kibum says in a low voice before retreating to his room.
The memory fades and Kibum finds himself back in the bathroom. He can hear the front door shut and the shuffle of feet as Heehcul walks through the apartment.
“Yah! I’m home and I got some food!” His voice is cheery and light and happy, Kibum hates it.
Kibum knows that if Heehcul pursued their romance he would have given in.
They could have been happy.
He hates feeling hollow.
Heechul knocks lightly on the bathroom door, “Bummie, wanna come out and eat?”
Kibum closes his eyes and submerges himself in the water.
He hates himself for being a coward.
Fandom: Super Junior
Pairing: Heechul x Kibum
Rating: 14+, this is some angsty angst. Seriously, this is angst. ANGST.
Words: 532
Notes: It made a lot more sense in my head.
The bath water is lukewarm.
He doesn’t know how long he’s been in there, an hour, maybe two. Soon Heechul will be home, he’ll smile and laugh and joke and Kibum will mimic his actions.
Both of them pretend that they’re happy.
Kibum remembers the night when Heechul snaps. They’re sitting on the couch watching TV, the house is quieter now that Hankyung is gone and neither of them know what to do. The barrier is gone, they’re the only ones home, nobody stands between them.
He’s surprised when Heechul pushes him down onto the couch and he doesn’t know what to do when Heechul forces their lips together. Kibum tries to pull away, he really does, but he soon finds his arms around Heechul. He wants more and Heechul is ready to give.
Heechul’s hands shake as he takes off Kibum’s shirt and Kibum can only lay there with wide eyes. He watches as Heechul dips his head and swirls his tongue around his nipple. He hates the noises that come out of his mouth. He runs his hands through Heechul’s hair and for a moment he truly believes that what they are doing is right.
Heechul starts swearing when Kibum pushes him away and scrambles off the couch, clutching his shirt against his chest.
“I can’t do this,” Kibum says, his composure is gone, his shell cracked.
“Kibum, please.” He hates the desperation he hears in the older man’s voice.
“It’s wrong.”
All he needs to do is get to his room, shut the door, turn the lock and he’s safe. Heechul
grabs hold of Kibum’s hand and stops him.
“We can’t live like this. Fuck, we’ve been eye fucking each other for years.”
“I’m not like you!” Kibum yells as he pulls away from Heechul.
For a moment he wants to apologize, take back his words. The look in Heechul’s eyes break his heart and Kibum knows he’s lying. He knows that neither of them believe what he’s saying.
“You’re my hyung. That’s it.” His voice shakes and he tries to ignore his tears. “Nothing more.”
Heechul frowns and reaches out to Kibum. He grabs his head, smashes him against the wall and Kibum cries out when Heechul forces the kiss onto him. The two struggle for control, neither of them knowing quite what to do. Kibum hits Heechul’s chest with his fists, wanting to get away, wanting to break apart from the violent kiss.
Heechul jumps back when Kibum bites down on his tongue.
“This never happened,” Kibum says in a low voice before retreating to his room.
The memory fades and Kibum finds himself back in the bathroom. He can hear the front door shut and the shuffle of feet as Heehcul walks through the apartment.
“Yah! I’m home and I got some food!” His voice is cheery and light and happy, Kibum hates it.
Kibum knows that if Heehcul pursued their romance he would have given in.
They could have been happy.
He hates feeling hollow.
Heechul knocks lightly on the bathroom door, “Bummie, wanna come out and eat?”
Kibum closes his eyes and submerges himself in the water.
He hates himself for being a coward.