Attractive People Make Me Angry, Part One (the title of both this picspam and my autobiography)
Fuck attractive people. For serious. Like, they're just walking around all attractive and shit like it's not their fault we're in pain, like they just have these faces or whatever and they're totally not in control of what they do to us.
Fuck you and your coffee cup.
Fuck you and your microphone.
Fuck you and your cigarette.
Fuck you and your fucking cheekbones.
Fuck you and your pouty little mouth.
Fuck your comic and your eyelashes and your curly little flip of blonde hair and the fact that you're somehow getting younger every goddamn year, you asshole. (via vacation adventure society)
No. No fucking way. Not allowed. Fuck right the fuck off.
And now you're just rubbing it in, you jerk.
Oh, he knows exactly how attractive he is. And it makes me so angry I could just *chinhands* all day long. What? I have an inability to hold a grudge, okay? My anger just refuses to stick around and I end up charmed and sighing. Because Gerard's a dick.
Okay, deep breath. Let me channel my anger for Exhibit B, which is going to be a fucking doozy because Exhibit B is Frank Iero, a man whose face is the reason the phrase, "Shut the fuck up with your beautiful face!" was invented.
Look at that fucking teenage dickbag with that fucking adorable face and Baby's First Tattoo on his naked arm and that look of, like, fucking earnest sincerity on his face. The asshole.
Frank's earnest sincerity is a deadly fucking weapon, okay? Look at him here, probably being all nice to people and interacting and making honest emotional connections with his fans. The fuck? I don't have time for your "being a good person" shenanigans, Frank!
Frank's knees are even deadlier than his fucking sincerity. Look at them. They will kill you with their adorableness. And look at how naked his right arm is! Awww, don't you just want to ruffle his hair? No! Don't do it! Do not pet the baby goat! The baby goat, though adorable, is a dick who will eat your soul.
The main problem with Frank is that even when he does finger guns with a backup beer in his pocket, he's not actually an asshole. The prick. If he was an asshole, he wouldn't cause us so much pain because we could just ignore him. But he's fucking nice to people and he's passionate and angry and dedicated and, goddamn it, he won't give us one fucking reason to just write him off, so then we have to look at him.
We have to look at him looking like this, which isn't fair. He's the prettiest fucking thing I've ever seen in my life, okay?
And then we have to watch him playing like this which I don't even know how that's physically possible. Was he on his back and this is him after he pushed his entire body up into the air? Was he up in the air and this is him falling onto his shoulders? Is he even human? No one knows.
Who the fuck does he think he is walking around with a fucking face like that?
Bearded and climbing a fence with Dewees, this gives us further proof that he's not human. How is he standing like that? His feet aren't even in the fucking links of the fence! He's fucking floating like he thinks we're not going to fucking notice.
Asshole.
Fucking asshole.
This causes me actual, physical pain.
And now we're all dead from how fucking adorable he is. Thanks a lot, dickwad.
All I have to say is fuck your gorgeous fucking face, Brendon. And also, your wedding looked lovely and your wife is stunning and I hope you'll be very happy together for the rest of your days because you're both ridiculously adorable and when you were nineteen you brought out my maternal instincts in a wicked way because you always seemed like you needed a sandwich and a hug but now you're a grown man and you just got married and, ugh, I'm so happy for you it kind of makes me want to barf. So fuck you, jerk.
This is the end of Part One. There will be more parts in the future, but there's only so much anger I can sustain at one time without ending up curled into a ball in the corner, rocking and crying and whispering, "Why so attractive?" to myself over and over again.
In conclusion, this is a baby goat.
And this is Frank Iero.
Any questions?
This entry was originally posted at http://janesays.dreamwidth.org/24379.html. Comment wherever you'd like.
Fuck you and your coffee cup.
Fuck you and your microphone.
Fuck you and your cigarette.
Fuck you and your fucking cheekbones.
Fuck you and your pouty little mouth.
Fuck your comic and your eyelashes and your curly little flip of blonde hair and the fact that you're somehow getting younger every goddamn year, you asshole. (via vacation adventure society)
No. No fucking way. Not allowed. Fuck right the fuck off.
And now you're just rubbing it in, you jerk.
Oh, he knows exactly how attractive he is. And it makes me so angry I could just *chinhands* all day long. What? I have an inability to hold a grudge, okay? My anger just refuses to stick around and I end up charmed and sighing. Because Gerard's a dick.
Okay, deep breath. Let me channel my anger for Exhibit B, which is going to be a fucking doozy because Exhibit B is Frank Iero, a man whose face is the reason the phrase, "Shut the fuck up with your beautiful face!" was invented.
Look at that fucking teenage dickbag with that fucking adorable face and Baby's First Tattoo on his naked arm and that look of, like, fucking earnest sincerity on his face. The asshole.
Frank's earnest sincerity is a deadly fucking weapon, okay? Look at him here, probably being all nice to people and interacting and making honest emotional connections with his fans. The fuck? I don't have time for your "being a good person" shenanigans, Frank!
Frank's knees are even deadlier than his fucking sincerity. Look at them. They will kill you with their adorableness. And look at how naked his right arm is! Awww, don't you just want to ruffle his hair? No! Don't do it! Do not pet the baby goat! The baby goat, though adorable, is a dick who will eat your soul.
The main problem with Frank is that even when he does finger guns with a backup beer in his pocket, he's not actually an asshole. The prick. If he was an asshole, he wouldn't cause us so much pain because we could just ignore him. But he's fucking nice to people and he's passionate and angry and dedicated and, goddamn it, he won't give us one fucking reason to just write him off, so then we have to look at him.
We have to look at him looking like this, which isn't fair. He's the prettiest fucking thing I've ever seen in my life, okay?
And then we have to watch him playing like this which I don't even know how that's physically possible. Was he on his back and this is him after he pushed his entire body up into the air? Was he up in the air and this is him falling onto his shoulders? Is he even human? No one knows.
Who the fuck does he think he is walking around with a fucking face like that?
Bearded and climbing a fence with Dewees, this gives us further proof that he's not human. How is he standing like that? His feet aren't even in the fucking links of the fence! He's fucking floating like he thinks we're not going to fucking notice.
Asshole.
Fucking asshole.
This causes me actual, physical pain.
And now we're all dead from how fucking adorable he is. Thanks a lot, dickwad.
All I have to say is fuck your gorgeous fucking face, Brendon. And also, your wedding looked lovely and your wife is stunning and I hope you'll be very happy together for the rest of your days because you're both ridiculously adorable and when you were nineteen you brought out my maternal instincts in a wicked way because you always seemed like you needed a sandwich and a hug but now you're a grown man and you just got married and, ugh, I'm so happy for you it kind of makes me want to barf. So fuck you, jerk.
This is the end of Part One. There will be more parts in the future, but there's only so much anger I can sustain at one time without ending up curled into a ball in the corner, rocking and crying and whispering, "Why so attractive?" to myself over and over again.
In conclusion, this is a baby goat.
And this is Frank Iero.
Any questions?
This entry was originally posted at http://janesays.dreamwidth.org/24379.html. Comment wherever you'd like.