You forgot a potential job, Super Villain. Now I've been doing a little freelance arch-villainry (technically it may be "arch-villainy" but one of the perks of being a super villain is you don't have to play by the rules... even the rules of proper spelling and grammar). I must say, I am really enjoying it. I currently just run a little mom-and-pop style death ray manufacturing company/store front. It's not super high end stuff, more like decent henchmen gear. But I'm looking into expanding into the lucrative business of gianormous magnets. Every villain at some point or another needs a gianormous magnet. From there the sky is the limit! I'm even temped to become a villain myself
( ... )
The market for world domination is still struggling after Brain et al. made a disappointing exit back in the late 90s. We need to think outside of the box when it comes to Arch Villainry -- what is the next big doomsday device? We can't be bound by tradition here. If we are to be the next wave of -- dare I say it -- super villains, we need to innovate to keep up in this global economy. Sharks with laser beams just aren't gonna cut it anymore.
My ultimate crime that I have always, ALWAYS, wanted to pull off is stealing the kilogram. Every other unit we have redefined as something else, but the kilogram is still a physical object and I desperately want that hunk of platinum-iridium. I want to steal the kilogram, it is a hostage too! If the coppers try and stop us during the theft we can always threaten to touch surface of the metal, "All right, listen up. Unless you want the oil on my skin to add a couple of µg then you better just let us keep on walking..."
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