BSG Fic...
Title: Instinct (part 2.5 of 2.5)
Author: snoopy0917
Rating: MA
Pairing: Bill Adama/Laura Roslin
Spoilers: a small one for He That Believeth in Me
A/N: LJ is being annoying and making me break this up...
Part one can be found here or here
Sequel to Inevitable (found here or here
) and Insane (found here or here
)
Many, many thanks to deepforestowl for the beta. and for sticking with me through the roughest of rough drafts...
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
Translation: I own nothing. Merely a laptop, battered 5-star notebook, and fine point Bic pen. And this little story. The characters? SO not mine.
continued from here...
Afterwards they lay twined together, the sheets hopelessly rumpled beneath them, pillows long lost to the floor. Her head reclaimed its spot on his chest, he propped his up with a wadded fold of blanket. He buried fingers in her hair again, playing with the damp curls. She slid her hand against his chest, toying with the hair and exploring the edges of his scar. Both fought the urge to slip into sleep as their breathing slowed and the sweat cooled on their bodies.
Laura hummed to herself, limbs filled with contentment. She was sticky, sweaty, sore, and exhausted. She felt better than she had in years.
“We need to do that more often,” She sighed into his chest.
Bill chuckled, voice tinged with an easy satisfaction that was almost foreign to him. “Yeah.” His arm tightened around her. “Not right now though.”
Her mouth curved into a small smile.
“You’re loud.”
The smile turned into giggles. Laura turned her head and brushed her lips against his neck.
“Yeah,” She agreed with a wicked grin. “Are you complaining?”
“Frak no.” Bill clarified in a hurry. He grinned despite himself, unable to resist her giggle fit. Their mouths found each other again, kissing lazily enjoying the still exhilarating newness of the sensation.
The laughter faded eventually and they lay together. It felt natural. Comfortable. Like they should have been doing this the whole time. Like they shouldn’t have waited so long.
Bill watched her as she snuggled closer to his side. He’d never seen her this happy, this relaxed. Except for maybe that night on New Caprica. He pressed a kiss to her hair and decided to tell her.
“You’re beautiful.” His words were barely audible, even in the stillness of the room. Even so, they sliced through her thoughts, settling around her heart and making it ache.
Laura blinked back the emotion that swelled at the simple words. The urge to deny them, to quantify them. Beautiful now, perhaps. But not for long…
Bill’s eyes sought hers at the slight hitch in her breathing, at the downward turn of her mouth. He watched the doubt muddy the green of her eyes. The hint of fragility that not even his Laura could tamp.
“Always.”
Laura’s mouth went dry at the determined desperation in his eyes. He was trying to tell her.
She believed him.
“Bill,” She whispered, fingers reaching out to touch his face. Lashes blinked back unwelcome tears. She would do anything for him in that moment. Anything to vanquish the look of anguish and despair lurking just behind the clear blue eyes.
She wanted to tell him. She should tell him. It was understood, implied. But he deserved to know. He deserved to hear the words from her mouth. Four simple words held so much truth for them both, meant so much more than the sum of their parts.
I love you, Bill.
Words changed everything.
It terrified her.
He stripped her of all reason. All control. Every carefully constructed layer that she had spent years perfecting destroyed with a simple look. Sense disappeared from her grasp. She was out of control. She had lost control. To fate. To circumstance. To a disease. And now to him.
She wasn’t expecting it to be this intense. No, that was a lie. She known it would be. She knew how Bill felt. How she felt. She loved and she was loved. But knowing it was one thing, admitting it was quite another. And that last step would make it all too real, push them beyond any last doubt or equivocation. They wouldn’t be able to lie to themselves, to make this less than it was. It was everything.
She could walk away. It would kill her but she could. In a heartbeat, with regret but without a second thought if that was what was needed to survive.
Bill couldn’t. He couldn’t let go. He needed the illusion of ambiguity. She needed plausible deniability. In case the worst happened, the unexpected happened. In case she really was meant to die from this. He’d never let go. She’d destroy him. Her memory would destroy him.
She didn’t want that. She loved him too much. But she loved him too much to let him go without a fight. Love was funny like that.
“Bill.” She stalled. Brain working to come up with a plan to distract him, to steer the conversation away from the one they’d avoided for so long.
The phone saved her.
Bill growled at the intrusion, pressing one last soft kiss to her lips before disentangling himself and moving to answer it. Laura pushed away the strands of guilty relief at the intrusion, focusing instead at her disappointment.
It was Tory, wondering where the President was. So did Laura. Excuses were made, the first of many. Plans reconfirmed. Bodies cleansed. Clothes rediscovered. Precious minutes slipped away. And before long the President and Admiral reappeared. Or at least their outer shells did.
Bill and Laura found themselves standing next to his hatch.
Bill refused to relinquish her hand, unwilling to let the moment end. Terrified that the status quo would reassert itself the moment the hatch opened.
Laura squeezed his fingers, sharing his reluctance to break the connection. Against her will, she extricated her fingers from his, sliding her hand up to his elbow, using it for balance as she slipped her heels back on, completing the presidential image. An unwelcome necessity poked at the edges of her mind.
“I spoke to Jack earlier.”
“Oh?” Bill asked flatly. Stoicism hid the immediate concern.
Laura sighed he pulled up his mask. Gathering her courage, she forged on, wincing at the slight note of vulnerability she couldn’t quite hide.
“He wants me to move to Galactica for the bulk of my treatment. Muttered something about keeping an eye on me.”
His mind whirled, thinking of all the reasons she might need to stay close by.
“Laura…”
“It’s just a precaution. Jack’s being overprotective.” Laura lied to them both. “Think you can find space for me?”
You’re always welcome in one of my beds…
His eyes flicked inadvertently towards his rack.
“Yeah.”
She stopped and looked. “Bill. No.”
Bill shrugged.
Laura felt the incredulity building, “Bill. That’s crazy. We won’t be able to hide it.”
“Do you really care?”
She looked at him, speechless. Thinking about it. And no, she really didn’t. “I’ll think of something.” They’d make it work. Somehow.
Saying yes, all the problems she’d just created for herself. They were all worth it. Just for the smile on his face at that moment.
“So you know,” He managed through the grin, “I’m no good at this.”
“Really?” Laura lowered her lashes. It felt so good to tease him, especially now. Her words dripped with promise. “That’s disappointing. I’ll start revising my expectations. Or reconsider the whole arrangement.”
He kissed away the insolence. It returned immediately.
“No, not that, I’m good at that” he insisted, proud lechery lighting his face. “I think I proved I’m good at it.” She snorted. “It’s the rest of it.”
Laura kissed him one last time before slipping from his grasp and opening the hatch. Devilish humor danced in her eyes.
“You’ll figure it out.”
Bill followed her out of his cabin, catching her halfway down the corridor and reclaiming her arm. Tentative confidence started to build.
They’d figure it out. They’d just have to rely on instinct.
Author: snoopy0917
Rating: MA
Pairing: Bill Adama/Laura Roslin
Spoilers: a small one for He That Believeth in Me
A/N: LJ is being annoying and making me break this up...
Part one can be found here or here
Sequel to Inevitable (found here or here
) and Insane (found here or here
)
Many, many thanks to deepforestowl for the beta. and for sticking with me through the roughest of rough drafts...
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
Translation: I own nothing. Merely a laptop, battered 5-star notebook, and fine point Bic pen. And this little story. The characters? SO not mine.
continued from here...
Afterwards they lay twined together, the sheets hopelessly rumpled beneath them, pillows long lost to the floor. Her head reclaimed its spot on his chest, he propped his up with a wadded fold of blanket. He buried fingers in her hair again, playing with the damp curls. She slid her hand against his chest, toying with the hair and exploring the edges of his scar. Both fought the urge to slip into sleep as their breathing slowed and the sweat cooled on their bodies.
Laura hummed to herself, limbs filled with contentment. She was sticky, sweaty, sore, and exhausted. She felt better than she had in years.
“We need to do that more often,” She sighed into his chest.
Bill chuckled, voice tinged with an easy satisfaction that was almost foreign to him. “Yeah.” His arm tightened around her. “Not right now though.”
Her mouth curved into a small smile.
“You’re loud.”
The smile turned into giggles. Laura turned her head and brushed her lips against his neck.
“Yeah,” She agreed with a wicked grin. “Are you complaining?”
“Frak no.” Bill clarified in a hurry. He grinned despite himself, unable to resist her giggle fit. Their mouths found each other again, kissing lazily enjoying the still exhilarating newness of the sensation.
The laughter faded eventually and they lay together. It felt natural. Comfortable. Like they should have been doing this the whole time. Like they shouldn’t have waited so long.
Bill watched her as she snuggled closer to his side. He’d never seen her this happy, this relaxed. Except for maybe that night on New Caprica. He pressed a kiss to her hair and decided to tell her.
“You’re beautiful.” His words were barely audible, even in the stillness of the room. Even so, they sliced through her thoughts, settling around her heart and making it ache.
Laura blinked back the emotion that swelled at the simple words. The urge to deny them, to quantify them. Beautiful now, perhaps. But not for long…
Bill’s eyes sought hers at the slight hitch in her breathing, at the downward turn of her mouth. He watched the doubt muddy the green of her eyes. The hint of fragility that not even his Laura could tamp.
“Always.”
Laura’s mouth went dry at the determined desperation in his eyes. He was trying to tell her.
She believed him.
“Bill,” She whispered, fingers reaching out to touch his face. Lashes blinked back unwelcome tears. She would do anything for him in that moment. Anything to vanquish the look of anguish and despair lurking just behind the clear blue eyes.
She wanted to tell him. She should tell him. It was understood, implied. But he deserved to know. He deserved to hear the words from her mouth. Four simple words held so much truth for them both, meant so much more than the sum of their parts.
I love you, Bill.
Words changed everything.
It terrified her.
He stripped her of all reason. All control. Every carefully constructed layer that she had spent years perfecting destroyed with a simple look. Sense disappeared from her grasp. She was out of control. She had lost control. To fate. To circumstance. To a disease. And now to him.
She wasn’t expecting it to be this intense. No, that was a lie. She known it would be. She knew how Bill felt. How she felt. She loved and she was loved. But knowing it was one thing, admitting it was quite another. And that last step would make it all too real, push them beyond any last doubt or equivocation. They wouldn’t be able to lie to themselves, to make this less than it was. It was everything.
She could walk away. It would kill her but she could. In a heartbeat, with regret but without a second thought if that was what was needed to survive.
Bill couldn’t. He couldn’t let go. He needed the illusion of ambiguity. She needed plausible deniability. In case the worst happened, the unexpected happened. In case she really was meant to die from this. He’d never let go. She’d destroy him. Her memory would destroy him.
She didn’t want that. She loved him too much. But she loved him too much to let him go without a fight. Love was funny like that.
“Bill.” She stalled. Brain working to come up with a plan to distract him, to steer the conversation away from the one they’d avoided for so long.
The phone saved her.
Bill growled at the intrusion, pressing one last soft kiss to her lips before disentangling himself and moving to answer it. Laura pushed away the strands of guilty relief at the intrusion, focusing instead at her disappointment.
It was Tory, wondering where the President was. So did Laura. Excuses were made, the first of many. Plans reconfirmed. Bodies cleansed. Clothes rediscovered. Precious minutes slipped away. And before long the President and Admiral reappeared. Or at least their outer shells did.
Bill and Laura found themselves standing next to his hatch.
Bill refused to relinquish her hand, unwilling to let the moment end. Terrified that the status quo would reassert itself the moment the hatch opened.
Laura squeezed his fingers, sharing his reluctance to break the connection. Against her will, she extricated her fingers from his, sliding her hand up to his elbow, using it for balance as she slipped her heels back on, completing the presidential image. An unwelcome necessity poked at the edges of her mind.
“I spoke to Jack earlier.”
“Oh?” Bill asked flatly. Stoicism hid the immediate concern.
Laura sighed he pulled up his mask. Gathering her courage, she forged on, wincing at the slight note of vulnerability she couldn’t quite hide.
“He wants me to move to Galactica for the bulk of my treatment. Muttered something about keeping an eye on me.”
His mind whirled, thinking of all the reasons she might need to stay close by.
“Laura…”
“It’s just a precaution. Jack’s being overprotective.” Laura lied to them both. “Think you can find space for me?”
You’re always welcome in one of my beds…
His eyes flicked inadvertently towards his rack.
“Yeah.”
She stopped and looked. “Bill. No.”
Bill shrugged.
Laura felt the incredulity building, “Bill. That’s crazy. We won’t be able to hide it.”
“Do you really care?”
She looked at him, speechless. Thinking about it. And no, she really didn’t. “I’ll think of something.” They’d make it work. Somehow.
Saying yes, all the problems she’d just created for herself. They were all worth it. Just for the smile on his face at that moment.
“So you know,” He managed through the grin, “I’m no good at this.”
“Really?” Laura lowered her lashes. It felt so good to tease him, especially now. Her words dripped with promise. “That’s disappointing. I’ll start revising my expectations. Or reconsider the whole arrangement.”
He kissed away the insolence. It returned immediately.
“No, not that, I’m good at that” he insisted, proud lechery lighting his face. “I think I proved I’m good at it.” She snorted. “It’s the rest of it.”
Laura kissed him one last time before slipping from his grasp and opening the hatch. Devilish humor danced in her eyes.
“You’ll figure it out.”
Bill followed her out of his cabin, catching her halfway down the corridor and reclaiming her arm. Tentative confidence started to build.
They’d figure it out. They’d just have to rely on instinct.