English homework

[snoopy48]

I know this is long but please read this its my story for my english project I really want some feedback!!!!

"Best Friends" by Abbey Larson

The door screeched open; a chilling scream came from the shadows in the hallway. A scream so loud it shook the TV screen.

I reached down to grab the popcorn from the greasy bowl and the phone rang I shook with

Comments

[thatgirlmeg]

Abbey that is sad. Where u sad when u were thinkin of a story to write.

[snoopy48]

Yeah we are supposed to have an emotion and thats what I picked. I know but hey it happens.

[accesscheer89]

abbey i love your story!

[xonelastgoodbye]

:( poor girl. she should have killed herself in the end. haha. good job, dear.

[praying4surf]

ya the end was so abrupt, make it a little more drawn out, and express how she felt some more, other thatn that it was great.

[snoopy48]

Yeah I edited it and made the ending a little longer thanks guys I love you ... :)