(no subject)
So...hurrah! The weekend is here, & I am so glad this week is over. It was a rough one, what with being sick & overwhelmed & all. I'll be glad to have a chance to recoup & get my act together, you know?
...On the other hand, I've just had about 8 colleagues ask, "Any plans for the weekend?" And I realized: no. I don't. That kind of sucks. You know? I mean, I'm sure I'll end up at my parents house for dinner one of these nights, but other than that...nothing. I can't tell you how much I miss my posse and our nights. It's been almost two years since I went out to a bar, you know? Well, I've been on a couple dates, but that's not the same. Every Friday night I think, "I want so badly to have a good friend & go to a bar & have a really, really good time, drink a lot, stay out late, play some pool, eye some guys, gossip, maybe dance like idiots a little bit...maybe puke, whatever." Like Farah's & my old Thursday nights, or when she would sleep over & we'd go back to my apartment & watch like..."Oklahoma" or something cheesy...remember "Just Married!" Holy crap that was hilarious that night! Even when we got old lady & we'd come back "early" it was wicked fun & still more wild than anything I've done in a dog's age. I miss my friends. Work friends are fun & all, but they want to do all these grown up things, wine & cheese & an early night & grown up conversation. Or things at the Flynn. I miss doobies & shots & those fun things. *sigh*
And, and I miss McGill. There. I've said it. I'm reading Farah's DJ & getting all this uni envy. I miss the sights & people & classes and activities. I feel so old. Don't get me wrong, all this whining isn't to say that I still don't feel all those things about being proud of the life I've made and all that, because I do. I just...I also feel this way too. I go back & forth, or I feel both ways at once. I feel so old sometimes, like I've lost my fun times & my youth, but then I'm like, "Wait a minute! I'm 24! I still am young! I shouldn't be living this old maid life!" It's crazy. I feel more conflicted and mixed up inside now than I ever did as a teenager. I just don't know what to do with myself half the time.
On the upside, a colleague just said, "Whoa! Your cheekbones look insane! How much weight have you lost?!" I'm not sure 'cause I'm too poor for a scale, but I'd say 15-25 pounds since the beginning of September. When you can't afford food, that can happen, you know? So that's awesome. I'm wearing my crazy tight reversible jeans with heels & a killer jacket today. I look cute, I must say, but where I was actually going with that was that if I can fit into these jeans again, I must have lost a lot of weight. Although my arms are so undefined now that I've lost the gym in the garage at my parents house, & I haven't run in about a week 'cause of being sick. But I'm skinny, that's for durn sure. Or at least I'm getting there again, which is fantastic. I have my hair up today, because the school is crazy hot & humid, and so my hair frizzed insanely within 10 minutes this morning. I'm talking I had like Little Mermaid hair, bangs included. So I had to pull it back & my bangs up on the top, but I have a collar today so I popped it to hide the tattoo--which is the only way I can put my hair up at school. I don't think anyone would say anything (administration I mean) but the kids sure would, & I do worry a teeny bit at least about what I model for them. It's bad enough they all notice the tongue ring, you know? Anyway, I had about six people not recognize me in the halls! It was hilarious!
Yeah, the sucky thing is, I haven't looked this good all 'round in...forever, & I can't get a girlfriend or a guy to go out with!!!
Anyway, I'm going to head out I suppose, so all you crazy kids have a fun, safe, & restful weekend. I'll catch you Monday.
<3
...On the other hand, I've just had about 8 colleagues ask, "Any plans for the weekend?" And I realized: no. I don't. That kind of sucks. You know? I mean, I'm sure I'll end up at my parents house for dinner one of these nights, but other than that...nothing. I can't tell you how much I miss my posse and our nights. It's been almost two years since I went out to a bar, you know? Well, I've been on a couple dates, but that's not the same. Every Friday night I think, "I want so badly to have a good friend & go to a bar & have a really, really good time, drink a lot, stay out late, play some pool, eye some guys, gossip, maybe dance like idiots a little bit...maybe puke, whatever." Like Farah's & my old Thursday nights, or when she would sleep over & we'd go back to my apartment & watch like..."Oklahoma" or something cheesy...remember "Just Married!" Holy crap that was hilarious that night! Even when we got old lady & we'd come back "early" it was wicked fun & still more wild than anything I've done in a dog's age. I miss my friends. Work friends are fun & all, but they want to do all these grown up things, wine & cheese & an early night & grown up conversation. Or things at the Flynn. I miss doobies & shots & those fun things. *sigh*
And, and I miss McGill. There. I've said it. I'm reading Farah's DJ & getting all this uni envy. I miss the sights & people & classes and activities. I feel so old. Don't get me wrong, all this whining isn't to say that I still don't feel all those things about being proud of the life I've made and all that, because I do. I just...I also feel this way too. I go back & forth, or I feel both ways at once. I feel so old sometimes, like I've lost my fun times & my youth, but then I'm like, "Wait a minute! I'm 24! I still am young! I shouldn't be living this old maid life!" It's crazy. I feel more conflicted and mixed up inside now than I ever did as a teenager. I just don't know what to do with myself half the time.
On the upside, a colleague just said, "Whoa! Your cheekbones look insane! How much weight have you lost?!" I'm not sure 'cause I'm too poor for a scale, but I'd say 15-25 pounds since the beginning of September. When you can't afford food, that can happen, you know? So that's awesome. I'm wearing my crazy tight reversible jeans with heels & a killer jacket today. I look cute, I must say, but where I was actually going with that was that if I can fit into these jeans again, I must have lost a lot of weight. Although my arms are so undefined now that I've lost the gym in the garage at my parents house, & I haven't run in about a week 'cause of being sick. But I'm skinny, that's for durn sure. Or at least I'm getting there again, which is fantastic. I have my hair up today, because the school is crazy hot & humid, and so my hair frizzed insanely within 10 minutes this morning. I'm talking I had like Little Mermaid hair, bangs included. So I had to pull it back & my bangs up on the top, but I have a collar today so I popped it to hide the tattoo--which is the only way I can put my hair up at school. I don't think anyone would say anything (administration I mean) but the kids sure would, & I do worry a teeny bit at least about what I model for them. It's bad enough they all notice the tongue ring, you know? Anyway, I had about six people not recognize me in the halls! It was hilarious!
Yeah, the sucky thing is, I haven't looked this good all 'round in...forever, & I can't get a girlfriend or a guy to go out with!!!
Anyway, I'm going to head out I suppose, so all you crazy kids have a fun, safe, & restful weekend. I'll catch you Monday.
<3