I met this great guy at church. Cute, smart, funny, passionate about God, ect. I kept telling myself that I just wanted to be friends with him, but I finally had to admit to myself that wasn't 100% true, when we went to a concert together last night. But, I don't even know if he is into me, and, I said that I wasn't going to date anymore. Either ( Read more... )

Sometimes, I don't hear God's voice, as much as...it's like a sentence, (I heard it once described like an idea or feeling), that forms inside of my head.

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Thich Nhat Hanh, in reiterating Buddha, said that we have negative seeds inside us, but ( Read more... )

I am going to look at the moving too fast on a first date this way: I may have moved too fast on the first date, but I have come so far from where I've been. And accept myself for WHO I AM. Because who I am, is pretty great. Mistakes and all. Because we all make mistakes, but I am a GOOD person.

Well, in my last entry I generally explained my one issue. My other, is that I hold my self to high standards and whenever I make a mistake, it is a failure and I am the worst person in existance ( Read more... )

I want to wake up, and not feel guilt, and shame and tortured, every moment. I want to be free.

In a seminar with the Dalai Llama, he was asked of his thoughts on the concept of self-hate. The Dalai Llama has a translator, and it took several minutes for the translator to explain this concept to him - the Dalai Llama simply did not understand. In response, he simply said this: "This is wrong. Everyone is special ( Read more... )

I screwed it up because I am still a damaged fruit....it hits too close to home. It makes you shiver, the way things could have gone...I've worked my whole life to get past this, and it ended up being the one thing that separated me from the person I wanted, the person I needed, the person I've waited for so long to find. It's not fair.

So, last night I accidently ate meat chili insted of veg chili. It was traumatizing. But, I threw it up, and I felt better. I felt like i did a good thing. In fact, I am proud of what I did (throwing it up) :)

I don't ever want to stop learning or growing, being inspired, or cultivated as a person.
But, part of me, instead of lessons, wants the real deal. Instead of this experience or this person simply being a lesson onto the next step, which, don't get me wrong, I appreciate SO much; I want that person. I want that experience. I want my turn.
This ( Read more... )

So, I went on a date with this great guy. That's how I'll start, but not where.
My friend Mandy invited me to go to a USSR concert with her, her boyfriend and a couple of her friends, including one whom she was trying to set me up with. I decided I was going to go into it being open; not expecting anything.
Well, he was cute. And I as I got to know ( Read more... )