Fic: Prisoner of Love (13/?)

[snowin_you]

MASTERPOST / AO3


Chapter Summary: Castiel has three visitors, when he asked for none, and they come with dreams, illusions, and visions - or whatnot.

Additional chapter warnings: Aftermath of a sexual assault, including, but not limited to, anger, depression, dissociation, guilt, shame, numbness, mood swing, nausea. There is also a recap of the event. To be honest, I had no idea what I signed up for when I thought I'd touch the subject. I have no intention of dealing with it lightly, but I also do not want to make the story more depressing than it already is. If you are a survivor, please proceed with caution.

~:~:~

Castiel had his back to the door, when he heard someone fumble with the knob and opened it. He didn't turn around, trusting it wasn't Dean, as he had asked Dr. Sebastian not to let Dean in. He had also heard when Dean threw his tantrum, as well as when an officer came fetching Dean because he had a visitor. Things had been quiet since then. So he supposed Dean was already out of the infirmary.

He did turn, however, when he heard a familiar voice greet him.

"Hey, kiddo!" Gabriel had his signature smile on his face while making a theatrical move towards the patient's bed. Castiel shifted to get up, but suddenly winced when he felt a sharp ache around his hips.

Gabriel rushed to his side. "Easy, kid," he said, gingerly helping Castiel up and getting comfortable. "You don't need to get up."

"I had more than enough sleep," Castiel replied with a grunt at the pain in his ribs as he sat leaning his back on the pillow his teacher had set up for him. If it was any other man, Castiel would tense up being in such close proximity. He knew he did when Dr. Sebastian examined him. But outside of his self-defense class, Gabriel was more like a big sister Castiel never wanted.

"How are you feeling?" the visitor asked.

"Groggy, for one," Cas replied. It was true. He felt weak and dizzy, though he was not sure if it was because he had lain down for too long or if it was because of the drug. "And pain" Definitely pain. It was there with every breath he took.

"I'm not sure if that sexy doctor out there has explained it to you?" Gabriel said, pointing one finger towards the door. "But he didn't want to risk giving you pain killers because he had no idea what kind of drug is already in your system."

Castiel nodded in the affirmative. Dr. Sebastian had generously detailed for him what was going on with his body, which ached all over. Castiel doubted any amount of pain killers would suffice, or that he was worth being given pain killers at all. Maybe pain was what he deserved.

"But worry not, my friend," Gabriel continued with a confident grin that Castiel found surreal. "Your knight in shining armor has gotten hold of the drug and it is being analyzed as we speak."

Castiel blushed at the reference. Dr. Sebastian had also told him how Dean had gone to Lucifer's cell and carried him all the way to the infirmary. In other circumstances, it would be such an embarrassing scene to be carried bridal style in front of all people, though Castiel didn't think he would mind it in private.

He quickly pushed his thoughts away.

"Right now all you have to do is rest and get well soon," Gabriel concluded. If he noticed the flush that appeared on Castiel's face, he didn't mention it. "Your prince is waiting for you," he teased with a smug grin.

Or maybe he did notice it.

Castiel gazed downward because his cheeks were burning with shame. Dean and he were in different leagues now. He had no right to daydream about any prince in shining anything.

"Do you think you can let Dean see you for a while?" Gabriel's voice went softer at Cas' reaction. "He is just as devastated as you are. I have to follow him around just to make sure Dean doesn't kill anyone." At Cas' gaping, he quickly elaborated. "It's his way of coping with things. I'll be in the room with you if you don't want to be alone with him."

"I can't," Castiel said after a long while. "What you said was right. I'm not worthy of him."

He remembered it as if it were yesterday. Castiel had been so weak he was attacked by Uriel and a few other men, causing Dean to get locked up in solitary for rescuing him. His teacher was so furious he proclaimed Castiel not worthy of his king. He never fathomed the truth of the statement until now.

"Oh, honey, dear," Gabriel cried with a sympathetic look in his honeyed eyes. "You shouldn't take half of what I said seriously. You are in every way fit to be by his side."

"But Lucifer said-"

"Fuck what Lucifer said!" his mentor retorted sharply, incensed. To be honest, Cas wanted to ignore the venomous remark Lucifer hissed into his ear if he could. It just kept replaying itself in the back of his mind like an infuriating broken record.

"This is all on you, Castiel. Dean's empire wouldn't have fallen if you hadn't been so weak."

And Castiel couldn't agree more. Even after all the fighting lessons he had been taking, all the hard work his teacher had put him through, he still failed to keep himself from being an easy target, from bringing Dean more complications.

"I'm Dean's weakness, Gabe," Castiel admitted meekly. "He has more to lose if I'm still by his side."

"Oh, Cassie," Gabriel cooed, one hand gently stroking Castiel's hair; the look of empathy glowed in his eyes again. "You don't understand love, do you? Dean will lose himself if he doesn't have you by his side."

Castiel could only shake his head. He did not believe Dean loved him; he believed Dean was better off without him. Cas remembered, no matter how much he wished it were a dream, that when Lucifer threatened to hurt him, Dean didn't hesitate to give up his life. Dean was willing to die - not even spared a moment to think twice - all because of him.

"Look, you're a big boy," Gabriel pressed on. "I'm not gonna lie to you that what happened last night will not shake the balance of power in the house, but we do not yet know in what ways or to what extent that effect is. I'd just like for you to be with us, fight with us, help us restore the stability."

"I can't even protect myself!" Castiel countered. He didn't know how it happened, but he felt a teardrop trail down his cheek. "You must be out of your mind to think I could be of any help to you." Or Dean, but Castiel could not slip that name past his lips now. He felt his throat parch just at the thought of saying it out loud.

Gabriel shook his head wearily. "I know who I teach. You are a natural. You can easily take the Devil out in a fair fight. I guess he was well aware of that fact, too. That must be why he put you under the influence."

But Cas couldn't buy it. Looking down at his wrists, he still saw the white gauze that covered up his blood-seeping, ugly blackish patches that said he couldn't set himself free. The stiffness in his shoulders and the twinges in his stomach screamed weakness that echoed across a deep, dark, despicable void.

"Look at these bruises." The older inmate gently grabbed Cas' palm and lifted it, emphasizing how limp it was. "They're not evidence of your weaknesses. They're proofs of your strength. You have fought well and I'm proud of you."

Castiel kept his head down, but now he saw big drops of water splashing onto his scrub top and they didn't seem to stop. He had fought all he could. Lord knew he had. Cas watched with morbid fascination as the water soaked the fabric into a wider, darker circle. He didn't look up until he slowly registered that someone was calling his name.

"Cassie, Cassie." Even though his vision was blurry, his teacher's face was so close to him. Castiel didn't understand why he had moved so close. "Don't cry. Can I hug you?"

Cas shook his head. He couldn't see the other man's face anymore. "I was a fool," he sighed. Chuck had warned him from the beginning. Dean had tried to keep him away from the one man he mistook for a friend. Gabriel had been equipping him with fistfight techniques, but he had been so full of himself he never heeded those warnings - so stupidly, recklessly naïve.

'Oh, damn it,' Gabriel muttered to himself before pulling the crying mess into his arms. Cas didn't freak out so he guessed it should be okay. He let the poor man sob onto his shoulder, fighting back tears of his own. It was impossible not to break seeing such a delicate little thing falling apart. "None of this is your fault, kiddo," he kept calming him over and over until Castiel pulled away.

"I'm sorry," Cas said, wiping the tears off his face. "I don't know what has gotten into me."

Gabriel shook his head lightly. "Let it all out, kid. You need to get it out of your system. Though I kinda think Dean is more of an expert in the counseling area."

"What do you mean?" Castiel snapped. His voice was stiff and his glare was deadly. Gabriel bit his brainless tongue on the inside. The kid must have thought he meant Cas had been repeatedly assaulted.

"I mean I kinda gave Dean a book," he confessed with a guilty look on his face, "That says how to deal with this kind of situation?"

Castiel groaned as he threw his head backwards. Of course, he remembered the book. He found it one day when he was bored to death and decided to grope around their tiny cell. The one misunderstanding that led to a fight and other things that followed.

Gabe shifted on his feet. He had no idea what to do and wondered if Castiel knew about the book, or that it somehow was the source of the downfall. He watched as Castiel pinched the bridge of his nose, his neck arching back over the pillow as if he was having a terrible migraine.

"You know I don't remember much of what happened." Gabriel startled when Cas suddenly whipped his head back up and spoke. "I remember waking up in Lucifer's cell, naked and vulnerable. I cried for Dean to help, but he couldn't come to me. So I fought. I beat him. I beat Lucifer, but then I felt woozy. Next thing I knew I was bent across the bed, Lucifer's weight on me," he paused, taking a deep breath as he suddenly felt suffocated. "And Dean… Dean was howling in so much pain it felt as if my ears were bleeding." Castiel cringed at the memory.

"And then I dreamed. I dreamed of me and Dean making love in my old apartment-"

"Oh, Castiel," Gabriel cut in. His golden eyes were misty and he held Cas' hand tight. "You weren't dreaming at all. We all heard it."

Castiel was lost. He couldn't understand why his mentor should be the one brimming with tears. "What do you mean you all heard it?"

"You know we heard everything, all of us in the building?" It was more of an assertion than a question as Gabriel tried to control his voice. "I heard Dean scream for help. I heard you fight with Lucifer and what happen after that. Lucifer wasn't quiet at all. He made sure everyone knew what was going on in his cell. Dean's threats weren't getting any less deafening either. Then you stopped making noises." At this point, Gabriel paused to stifle a sniff.

"Lucifer was livid to see you determined not to let any sound come out of you," he continued. "Then suddenly all of Dean's ear-splitting threats came to a stop, too. For a short while, I heard nothing but Lucifer's snarls."

Gabriel paused for a long while, telling himself this would be the last time he remembered all those gruesome details. He knew sexual assault was rife in this setting, but doing it in front of the entire population was purely a mind game. Castiel was sickeningly used to mess with Dean's head and at the same time instill fear in everyone else's. And who knew what the endgame was?

He also had to admit that Cas' determination not to fall victim to Lucifer's scheme was both heroic and heart-wrenching. Not letting out a sound had crumbled the Devil's grand mischievous plan. It took nothing short of divine courage to be able to pull through like Castiel did. Gabriel doubted he would possess the same kind of fortitude had he been under the same situation.

"Then Dean started talking to you," Gabriel started again, only this time his voice was audibly shaking. "He didn't yell like he did earlier, but he spoke in a soft, private voice. I felt as if we were listening in on a very intimate conversation." Gabriel blushed as he recounted the story. "Dean guided you back to your room, saying it was the place you're most comfortable in. Then he started talking sweet nonsense to you, telling you it would soon be over, and how much he loved you."

Castiel had a quick moment to catch the surge of sickness and a sick bag before retching into it. He had stocked up a couple of them since he threw up the first moment lunch touched the inside of his mouth. Gabriel rushed to get him a Kleenex and a cup of water. It was mostly liquid and bile since he did not eat anything all day.

He leaned heavily back on his pillow, exhausted. It was too much to handle and his body must have had its way to protest. All this while, he thought his mind had created the dream as a defense mechanism for him to cope with the trauma. What he thought was not real had turned up otherwise. It was so sweet and warm and comforting and Castiel remembered all of it. How Dean held him while he was breaking. How Dean whispered his confession of love with a face wet with tears. How he told Dean back he loved hi-

"Did I respond?" Cas asked hastily. He needed to know if Dean heard him said he loved Dean too.

Gabriel shook his head, much to Cas' chagrin. "I only heard you whimpered. But Dean seemed to understand. It felt as if Dean could communicate with you through all your little mewling and keening. It broke even the toughest heart in the facility, Cassie. Even Shakespeare couldn't write a love story this tragic."

Castiel leaned his head back again, closing his eyes. So Dean didn't hear him say it. Maybe it was all for the better. This way, it should be easier for Dean to leave him-

Castiel choked for breath as his nostrils were blocked. Tears were flowing freely down his cheeks; he had no idea since when. His brain went numb but his heart was doing all the talking - no, all the feeling - for him. He knew deep down, he never wanted Dean to leave. Instead, he wanted Dean to love him, even when he was flawed and unworthy of it. His heart was screaming, longing to hear Dean say those magical words again. He knew if he could only hear them, believe them, all his afflictions would slide away.

"Castiel, please, you need to let Dean help you." Castiel just noticed Gabriel was speaking when the other inmate gently wiped his tears with another facial tissue. "Can't you see he needs you as much as you need him?"

"But I'm not-"

"Hush now," Gabriel chided lovingly. "I'll be damned before I hear you belittle yourself one more time."

Cas' jaw clicked shut. If he couldn't berate himself, then he had nothing else to say.

"Just do it for me, please?" Gabriel resolved to his last resort. "If it doesn't work out, you let me know, and we'll find another way, okay?"

~:~:~

Cas dreaded it, the moment Dean would open the door and step in. Even though he had agreed to meet Dean, he wasn't so sure how he would take it. What if he was so intrinsically scared of Dean he couldn't even be in the same room with him? What if Dean walks in and is disgusted with what he sees; swiftly turning on his heels and never returns?

But, as it happened, it wasn't half bad - or it was worse; Castiel wasn't certain which one was more accurate. His heart was pounding a mile a minute while Dean walked in self-consciously, and Cas searched through all those erratic rhythms but he couldn't find fear or nervousness or excitement in them. It was as if his physique had its own responses to Dean that even he himself had no access to.

If they were competing on a pageant contest, Castiel was confident Dean could easily beat him in the Shittiest-looking Beauty category, despite what Cas had been through. Earlier, when Dean was yelling outside of his room, the unrestrained voice shook him but also gave him a sense of strange calm, and so Castiel had assumed all was well. He couldn't have been more wrong.

Dean was very conscious of the gaze Cas kept on him as he walked around the foot of the bed to take a seat on the chair next to it. Tilting his head, Cas fixed Dean with a piercing stare as his face gradually moved nearer. Dean gulped nervously, feeling exposed under close scrutiny.

"You've been crying?" Cas asked with a subtle furrow on his forehead. His voice was soft with that little whiny tone that Dean was crazy about. Dean had to clutch the bed railing tight to keep himself from reaching up and pulling the guy into a kiss. Dr. Balthazar had strictly forbidden him from making any kind of physical contact.

"That obvious, huh?" Dean covered his sadness with a smug but failed attempt of a grin, casting his eyes down in embarrassment. He so did not breakdown in front of his little brother just because some adorable angel had refused to let him in the room. The fact that he was in the room now only served to heighten the shame that he had been so worked up about it.

"Why did you cry?"

Cas' whimper was sad and confused. Dean snapped his head up to see. Cas looked as if he had fallen into a trance, his hand mere inches away from cupping Dean's cheek. Dean bit the inside of his mouth and sucked in a breath.

"I saw you cry," Cas said, pulling himself away and leaning back on the headboard. His voice had returned to normal. For a swift moment, Dean scrabbled his brain to find how it was possible that Cas was in the room with him and Sam, thus seeing him cry. "In my dream, you cried and you told me you loved me."

Dean gaped as his heart sped up in his chest. The beating was so loud in his ears it blocked out all other noises. So Cas heard him, everything Dean said to calm him down during his dire catastrophe. Cas did not only hear it; he saw it, felt it.

"Was I dreaming, Dean?"

Because he needed to know; Castiel needed to know that he wasn't dreaming; that it was real, that Dean still loved him when he was awake.

"Are you dreaming now?" Dean asked. His voice was so strained Castiel was afraid he might have asked a wrong question. So he looked for a truthful answer. He focused on the pain in his body, pinpointing it down to the exact spots, but then even pain was evident in his dream. So he took a look around. The room was stuffy with no windows. There were strange equipment and drawers and a white ceiling, and the sense of emptiness pertaining to a patient's room. When he shifted his gaze back down, he was met with a corporeal Dean. He looked real enough so Castiel moved closer, and tentatively placed a hand on Dean's chest.

"No," Castiel replied with resolution as he felt Dean's heart beat against his palm.

"Good," Dean said. Somehow he found something Castiel did amusing and a smile broke across Dean's face. Castiel could only frown at the seemingly sudden change in Dean's mood. "Now listen to me carefully." Dean tapped a finger under his chin and Castiel let Dean tip his head up so their gazes met. Dean's eyes were glittering and Castiel wondered if he ever registered how many shades of green they were.

"I love you, you silly little dork."

Dean stressed each word firmly and Castiel remembered them. He remembered they were the same words Dean said in his dream - no, in his not-dream. Suddenly, Dean's face became blurry, as well as all of his surroundings, and Castiel was frightened that all of this had been a dream, after all.

"Holy shit, don't cry!" Dean yelped, hurriedly drawing back to get a Kleenex. Being instructed not to touch him, Dean had no idea what to do. There were streams of tears pouring down both sides of Cas' face. In the end, he just brushed the towel lightly over it, letting the tissue do all the soaking up. Unfortunately, the watery hell of tears welled over as soon as they were dried.

"Fuck, Cas, why do you cry so much?" And maybe Dean started to overly panic. He had a soft spot for tears and even though he knew what kind of a baffling response a trauma could bring, combined that with Cas and he was a lost cause. Dean was freaking out, big time.

After a pile of tissues was tossed on the floor and Cas had quieted down to some extent, Dean mumbled an apology. He meant it to the core of his heart. Cas was an emotional rollercoaster all because of him; a thousand atonements could not even begin to make up for it. With a rueful sigh, Dean reached out a hand to pat the top of Cas' head.

Castiel winced away at once. "Don't touch me!" he growled, furiously drying his face while Dean stiffened where he was.

"I'm dirty," Cas muttered, pulling his knees in and wrapping his arms protectively around himself. He was dirty. Dean had made it very clear that he hated whores. Cas had been with too many men he was as far from unsullied as the bottom of an abyss was from the tip of the sky. He did not deserve Dean. He did not deserve Dean's love, whether in dreams or in reality.

"Look at me, Cas!" Dean grabbed at his shoulders and spoke up. Castiel squirmed at the sternness in Dean's voice. He wanted to crawl away but Dean's grip was unyielding against his shaking form, flooding him with a curious sense of security. In next to no time, Castiel found his heart imploring, 'Don't leave me. Don't ever let me go.'

"I don't care if you're dirty, or damaged, or broken. I love you and I'll fix you."

For a long moment, Castiel just stared into Dean's eyes, lost in their affectionate warmth as he let those words slowly sink in to the depth of his soul. They were the exact words he once said to his sister and he wondered how Dean knew what to say, how Dean knew those were the words he desperately needed to hear.

After a while, Castiel wondered if he was still in a dream and none of this was real at all, that when he woke up, all of this buzz would go away. But when Dean started to shift awkwardly, a hand crept up to rub the back of his neck in all his nervousness with dashes of red on his cheeks, Castiel knew he wasn't dreaming.

He agreed to believe Dean's words from now. No matter how fabricated it sounded, Cas meant every word when he said it to his sister. Even if Dean said it with half of the sincerity he did, it was still truer than a twinkling star above the dark horizon. Castiel knew he could let himself be loved this time - him and all his brokenness.

When Cas reached out a hand, Dean promptly took it - a simple gesture that told Dean his message was reciprocated. Castiel watched, enthralled, as Dean brought his hand up to place a gentle kiss that lasted a few seconds too long on his knuckles. Dean had a wide grin on his face, and freckles that Castiel never knew could shimmer under artificial light.

Dean toyed with Cas' hand as if he wasn't ready to let it go. That was when Cas noticed the wrist swathed in bandages and the nasty wound across Dean's knuckles. His skin was broken, swollen and covered in dry blood.

"Did you hurt yourself?" Castiel asked softly, remembering how Gabriel said he had to stay plastered to Dean to keep him from hitting everything in his line of sight.

Dean kept his mouth shut. He didn't hurt himself. He hurt the wall, and maybe a few other people who may or may not deserve it.

"Did it hurt?" Cas asked in that mewling voice of his again, and Dean had to cover his hand to veil over the bruises. It did hurt, but definitely not as much as he wanted it to. He wanted to feel Cas' pain, share it, take it over if he could. But it didn't matter how many objects he hit, it never hurt enough.

Dean avoided the question with a teasing grin. "Kiss it better?"

Cas just glowered back at him. "You should have it dressed," he said pointedly.

Dean's grin slowly turned into a cunning smile. "Maybe you could help me with that?" He didn't wait for an answer when he let go of Cas' hand in favor of fetching a small first-aid kit. Dean knew where things were kept in this place as he was one who frequented it, both as a patient and as a visitor.

He settled the kit on the bed. When Cas hesitated, he begged playfully, "Please? The nurse is not half as pretty as you are."

Dean grinned, seeing Cas had a rosy tinge on his cheeks. "I'm not pretty," Cas grumbled but he grabbed the kit and started cleaning up Dean's wounds. Dean couldn't stop the happy smile on his face until Cas applied antiseptic cream on the cut a little too roughly on purpose. Dean's face crumpled in discomfort.

Cas feigned innocence, saying, "You seem hurt, Dean. Are you sure nothing is broken?"

Dean huffed in reply but he kept his hand where it was, allowing Cas to cradle his injured wrist even after he had finished with the knuckle wounds. It seemed so normal, when Cas and he attended to each other and bantered easily like this, as if nothing bad had happened - or could ever happen at all, for that matter. Dean knew such an illusion would be short-lived, and so he cherished every moment under Cas' tender caresses.

But Castiel remembered it. As he supported Dean's bandaged wrist with his hands, he remembered he was the one who caused the infliction. Cas traced his fingers along the soft cloth from one end to the other, as if such a delicate touch would make amends. He bent down to kiss the back of Dean's hand, mindful of the injuries.

"Cas," Dean breathed. He enfolded Cas' hand in both of his, feeling its weight and concreteness. "Could you…" Dean paused. He was weighing the words as he was not sure if he should say it, but Dean was slowly losing his mind. It was only so long before he tripped over the edge. "Could we get out of this place, please?" As if adding please would make any difference.

As expected, Cas harshly pulled his hand away. Already Dean missed the warmth of it. "Dean, we've talked about this," Cas reprimanded.

"Yes, we did." Dean heaved a heavy sigh. He ran a hand over his hair. "But after all these things, don't you think you want to change your mind?"

Cas pursed his lips in headstrong defiance. If he could, Dean would suck and lick at those willful lips until they went quivering under his touch. Then he would lavish Cas' body with kisses until the stubborn mule went pliant in his arms. But, as luck would have it, Cas was neither a mule, nor was he changing his mind.

"How many times, Cas?" Dean asked in frustration as he felt heat rising on his face. "How many times do I… do we have to go through this? How many times do I have to be cautious when I touch you, slowly building your trust only to have someone else crush it?"

Dean was beside himself with temper, but Cas just kept staring at a faint stain on the bed sheet as if it was right to give more attention to it than to Dean. "Answer me! How many times do I have to see you hurt while I can do nothing about it?"

Cas did not reply. He just kept staring at that stupid stain and Dean somehow had his hopes up thinking maybe Cas was contemplating changing his mind. That was, until Cas mumbled an "I'm sorry," which meant Cas was not leaving.

Dean turned to kick a metal drawer behind him, causing Castiel to jump at the loud clang. "What-" What was so important that you were willing to hold on to at the expense of our relationship? Dean wanted to ask, but he swallowed the question down. Of course, everything was more important than them. Cas did not love him, but it never mattered. Whether Cas loved him back or not, it wasn't like Dean could deny how he felt about Cas, or even attempt to cover it up now that it was out in the open. But at least he hoped Cas would understand.

Castiel bit his lower lip. If he bit it any harder, the skin would tear. He had made a promise - a very important promise to a very important person. He couldn't just give up and leave. Dean had a brother he dearly loved; surely Dean would understand.

"You know what? Screw you!"

Castiel watched as Dean growled, knocked down an innocent chair and stormed away. There was no way Dean would understand.

~:~:~

When the door opened with a creak, Castiel jerked his head up; hoping to see Dean come back after he had cooled down. But, to his dismay, he was met with the small frame of his psychic friend instead.

"Chuck," he greeted.

"Hey, I brought you this," Chuck said as he walked in, holding up a juice box. "I heard you couldn't eat. Figure this might help."

Castiel took it and expressed his gratitude; he knew how costly it was in this place. He had to save it for later, though. It wouldn't do to throw up in front of other people again.

"I can't be long so I'm going to make it quick, okay?" Chuck said, gesturing to an officer standing outside who must have escorted him here. Cas only nodded in reply. "I have a confession to make." Chuck held his breath for a minute longer before blurting, "I'm not a psychic."

Castiel had no idea if he should chuckle or frown at the blunt declaration. He didn't understand what it had to do with anything or why it was so important Chuck had to come tell him now.

"I usually let people think whatever they want," Chuck continued, oblivious to Cas' puzzlement. "Most people think I can read minds or see things, but actually I'm just very observant. I'm very good at reading people."

"Okay…" Cas trailed off. So his inmate friend did not have a supernatural power. Cas felt he should be relieved at the fact, but Chuck was still restless.

"But I do have visions sometimes."

Castiel could only gawk.

"Before you came here," Chuck went on when he got no reply from the other end of the conversation. "I had a vision. There was this soul, very pure, and then I saw a bright light coming from the east. The light warmed up this soul." Chuck illustrated using both of his hands. "But later, this very light leveled this very place"

Chuck had a somewhat crestfallen expression on his face. Castiel was still confused about the whole thing, he wasn't sure what light or what place was this very place.

"At first, I thought the soul was Dean's and you were the light. That's the reason we kept you practicing defensive techniques; so that nothing bad would happen to you, nor will the destruction."

Castiel forced down a lump in his throat. This was downright creepy. Whatever it was happening to him was destined to happen in the first place?

Chuck shook his head. "That doesn't matter now. What's done is done." Then he looked up at Castiel with a gravity Cas never saw in the other inmate before. "You have to stop Dean."

"What?" Castiel croaked out.

"I might have been wrong all along," Chuck said, more to himself. "The soul might have been yours and the light was actually Dean's. Makes sense since Dean was from Kansas and you from California. Dean is your east."

Cas' frown had gone from deep to deeper.

"Dean is going to tear this place down," Chuck added in urgent undertones. "You heard his menacing growls. It scared everyone shitless." He shuddered. The thought alone was giving him goose bumps. The last one he heard just before lunch had him made up his mind to spill everything. "Please, Castiel. Only you can stop him."

But Cas was still dumbstruck. First, he did not understand what mess this was all about nor did he believe Dean could do such a thing and, second, he couldn't see why Dean would listen to him.

"You see that officer who brought me here?" Chuck pointed his thumb towards the door. Castiel regarded a burly man who couldn't be much older than himself. "That's officer Hewitt. His boy is nine and his little girl is four. She has curly orange locks and the prettiest smile you'll ever see." The resemblance immediately brought Cas' mind back to his little sister. "He will be the first to go down should a riot break. Do you want his children to be fatherless?"

Castiel licked his lips as he gulped. He had seen it, at least in movies. Inmates were not hesitant to batter an officer the first chance they got, dead or alive. Reluctantly, he said, "I'm not even sure if Dean will talk to me again."

"Dean will come to," Chuck affirmed with certainty. "Please, Castiel. If you can't stop him, I don't know who can."

~:~:~

Dr. Sebastian was getting ready to head back home. After such long hours, he craved nothing more than a warm bath and a sweet-scented glass of red wine, though he thought he might have to upgrade it to a glass of bourbon considering the events of today. It crushed him every time he had to deal with a sexual assault case. Of course, none of it was more devastating than the case of Castiel Milton.

The door to his office clicked open. Balthazar let out a long sigh when he saw who it was.

"You know, sometimes I wonder if I'm working in a penitentiary or a private hospital, seeing you can come and go as you please." Well, that was only half true, but the physician was tired and he felt like making a couple of snappy remarks.

"Doc, please." Balthazar was surprised to see Dean did not come making a scene as usual, but soft-spoken and civil. "You need to let me stay with him."

If he weren't so exhausted, he might actually consider the request, but he was in desperate need of rest and not getting one irritated him. "Why? Because you asked me nicely?"

"No…" Dean trailed off and squirmed, but he still wouldn't give away. "Just… please?"

"Dean," Balthazar groaned. "I really need to get back home." He softened when he saw the dejected look on Dean's face. "Castiel will be safe here. The room is secure and the whole ward is under video surveillance. There are nurses on duty twenty-four seven."

"That's not what I'm worried about." Dean wouldn't back down and Balthazar's interest piqued to know what could possibly make the stony Dean fidget. Dean held back a few moments more before he finally gave in. "Cas has this… recurring nightmare. He needs me to calm him down."

That reminded Balthazar of this morning, when he had observed Castiel toss and turn on his bed, crying out a woman's name. At that time, the doctor thought it was nothing more than an effect of the drug.

"Please, Doc, he's just been through hell. Won't you spare him more horror, when it can be prevented?"

The doctor had to admit, he would not want to be in Dean's shoes. Practically the reason why today's case had been the most heinous he had the misfortune to witness. He fully understood why Dean wanted to be with Castiel tonight, but he found it a little out of line. Nor did he believe that Dean was a requisite factor regarding Castiel's bad dreams.

"I'm sorry," he politely declined.

Before Balthazar knew it, Dean had already dashed to a cabinet, retrieved something from the top drawer and injected himself with it. A few seconds later, Dean fell to the floor, convulsing.

"Dean!"

~:~:~

A/N: I'm not gonna lie. This chapter was very difficult to write, considering the state Castiel was in. I hope I did it justice. Anyway, I feel like addressing each and every one of you who left a review for the previous chapter, so here it is: darkphoenix2345, MonsterV, aLoggedInReader, SmokingJazz, Pyro42x, AssbuttInTheImpala, Vios.Shadow, Riceball-1989, Angelpheonixwings14, hunterxangel (and my constant supporters: florenceatss, darkrose_9 and cider_jelly) Thank you for your kind words. You all are a gem. I do not deserve you, whether in dreams or in reality.