Love, Gaila (Star Trek XI)
Written for st_xi_kink request: Orion Love/Sex/Relationship Advice Column! Thanks for the awesome prompt. I had a blast writing this. :D
Title: Love, Gaila
Characters: All (crack)
Fandom: Star Trek XI
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: Not mine. Don't sue.
Love, Gaila
by Renata Lord (snowlight)
*
Dear Gaila,
My best friend flirts with every girl he passes on campus. It's making me looking really bad. To make it worse, a lot of the girls flirt back! I'll never get any if I continue to hang out with him, but he's my best friend. How do I tell him to spread the love and let the other guy get some, too?
Not a Casanova
Dear NAC:
If you sleep with him, it will be like you're sleeping with all those girls vicariously. Plus, you will get all the STDs that way too. Give it a shake!
Love, Gaila
*
Dear Gaila,
How can I show the girls that I'm a confident, masculine and sexually attractive Asian male? I am in great physical shape, work out everyday, and highly proficient in advanced hand to hand combat. I have an undefeated record in SF's biggest fencing club, yet somehow all girls want from me is having me fixing their computers for them!
Sushi My Ass
Dear SMA:
Dude, fencing?
Love, Gaila
P.S.: Have you tried your luck with guys yet?
*
Dear Gaila,
I think I am in love with my instructor. He appreciates me as a student but I am not sure how to take it to the next step. He does NOT go to bars and never smiles. HELP!
Languages of Love
Dear LOL:
Read The Art of War and take no prisoners.
Love, Gaila
*
Dear Gaila,
The guy I secretly carry a torch for calls me "cupcake". Am I wrong to hope? I'm a guy BTW.
Sleepless in San Fran
Dear SISF:
One is never wrong to hope, unless you are talking about getting a Vulcan guy to do dance of the seven veils for you.
Love, Gaila
*
Dear Gaila,
I enlisted in Starfleet at a very young age. When the guys go out for drinks they won't take me because I'm underage and my fake ID looks too fake. Do you know a good place to get fake IDs around town?
Drinking Vodka Alone
Dear DVA:
Honestly, I think it's not the fake ID, it's you. Are you any good with sports? I don't mean something like fencing either. Smash their faces down a few times and they'd take you next time. Heck, they might even buy you a drink!
Love, Gaila
*
Dear Gaila,
I followed your advice and confessed my love for the guy who used to call me cupcake. He punched me and said he'd never call me that again.
Cupcake No Longer
Dear CNL:
Nothing can stop you from 1) punching him back and 2) start calling him cupcake yourself. It's not like it's a secret now. In the meanwhile, ice cream will mend your broken heart.
Love, Gaila
*
Dear Gaila,
A young lady expressing romantic interest in me tried to get me drunk so I would engage in sexual intercourse with her. She insisted that all is fair in love and war.
How Very Illogical
Dear HVI:
It's not date rape if you yell surprise!
Love, Gaila
*
Dear Gaila,
I have a simple goal before I graduate: to sleep with as many different humanoid species as possible for the advancement of interspecies understanding and friendship. Any recommendations as to which species I should start with? And is there anything I should watch out for as I work to fulfill this mission?
Born Ready
Dear BR,
Stay away from the Vulcans and start with Orion girls. Call me.
Love, Gaila
Title: Love, Gaila
Characters: All (crack)
Fandom: Star Trek XI
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: Not mine. Don't sue.
Love, Gaila
by Renata Lord (snowlight)
*
Dear Gaila,
My best friend flirts with every girl he passes on campus. It's making me looking really bad. To make it worse, a lot of the girls flirt back! I'll never get any if I continue to hang out with him, but he's my best friend. How do I tell him to spread the love and let the other guy get some, too?
Not a Casanova
Dear NAC:
If you sleep with him, it will be like you're sleeping with all those girls vicariously. Plus, you will get all the STDs that way too. Give it a shake!
Love, Gaila
*
Dear Gaila,
How can I show the girls that I'm a confident, masculine and sexually attractive Asian male? I am in great physical shape, work out everyday, and highly proficient in advanced hand to hand combat. I have an undefeated record in SF's biggest fencing club, yet somehow all girls want from me is having me fixing their computers for them!
Sushi My Ass
Dear SMA:
Dude, fencing?
Love, Gaila
P.S.: Have you tried your luck with guys yet?
*
Dear Gaila,
I think I am in love with my instructor. He appreciates me as a student but I am not sure how to take it to the next step. He does NOT go to bars and never smiles. HELP!
Languages of Love
Dear LOL:
Read The Art of War and take no prisoners.
Love, Gaila
*
Dear Gaila,
The guy I secretly carry a torch for calls me "cupcake". Am I wrong to hope? I'm a guy BTW.
Sleepless in San Fran
Dear SISF:
One is never wrong to hope, unless you are talking about getting a Vulcan guy to do dance of the seven veils for you.
Love, Gaila
*
Dear Gaila,
I enlisted in Starfleet at a very young age. When the guys go out for drinks they won't take me because I'm underage and my fake ID looks too fake. Do you know a good place to get fake IDs around town?
Drinking Vodka Alone
Dear DVA:
Honestly, I think it's not the fake ID, it's you. Are you any good with sports? I don't mean something like fencing either. Smash their faces down a few times and they'd take you next time. Heck, they might even buy you a drink!
Love, Gaila
*
Dear Gaila,
I followed your advice and confessed my love for the guy who used to call me cupcake. He punched me and said he'd never call me that again.
Cupcake No Longer
Dear CNL:
Nothing can stop you from 1) punching him back and 2) start calling him cupcake yourself. It's not like it's a secret now. In the meanwhile, ice cream will mend your broken heart.
Love, Gaila
*
Dear Gaila,
A young lady expressing romantic interest in me tried to get me drunk so I would engage in sexual intercourse with her. She insisted that all is fair in love and war.
How Very Illogical
Dear HVI:
It's not date rape if you yell surprise!
Love, Gaila
*
Dear Gaila,
I have a simple goal before I graduate: to sleep with as many different humanoid species as possible for the advancement of interspecies understanding and friendship. Any recommendations as to which species I should start with? And is there anything I should watch out for as I work to fulfill this mission?
Born Ready
Dear BR,
Stay away from the Vulcans and start with Orion girls. Call me.
Love, Gaila