Tell Me That I'm Good: Wait (Part 2)
Tell Me That I'm Good: Wait (Part 2)
Rating: R
Four clicks, followed by several more snaps; my eyes are covered like they are every morning. I miss the way the shorts feel when he pulls them off of me, everything too exposed, too vulnerable. The towel that he holds against me is so soft, its daily washings have broken down the thread so that it almost feels like old flannel . I let go and feel the warmth all around me. He holds the towel there until he’s sure I’m finished and then I hear him drop it heavily into the blue plastic bucket that sits by my bed. The washcloth that he runs over me next feels nice. He got the temperature just right, not too hot like yesterday. He smoothes it over me and when then dusts me off with powder so that nothing will stick or rub. This is the unscented one. We tried another kind first but it smelled sweet and was really distracting. When he’s finished he pulls the shorts back onto me and snaps them shut.
Click, click, click.
“Do you have to go?” I shake my head so he clicks the last lock shut in the back. He pulls the blindfold off and I look down at myself. No wonder he doesn’t mind getting up a little earlier to do this. He lies down next to me and we fool around for a little while, mostly just kissing and rubbing until he’s ready for me to go down on him. We do this every morning now. It feels like he’s preparing me for the day; getting me turned on and aware of my body. Making sure that I don’t forget about how good it can feel. After he comes, he pulls me back up to him and puts my head on his chest while he strokes my back. “Three more days” he whispers into my hair.
It’s been seven so far. Seven days since I’ve come. Seven days since I’ve touched myself. Seven days since I’ve even seen myself. Just three more, three more days until he’ll do anything I want, anything I ask him to do. It’s pretty much all I can think about.
“Requests?” He asks everyday and I always have something.
“Yeah, but it’s a surprise, I’m going to take you somewhere at tonight. When I get home from work I’m going to go to sleep for a few hours so that I won’t be tired.”
“All right, guess I will too. Don’t want to be falling asleep on you, wherever it is we’re going.”
Standing up, I start getting ready for work.
“Hey, can I wear this today?” I’m holding up an old blue flannel shirt that he tossed on my chair yesterday.
“Sure.” He’s watching me from the mattress, arms behind his head.
I pull it on over a white t-shirt and roll the sleeves up. I find some boxers that are sitting on my desk and put them on before grabbing my jeans off the floor.
“How come you’re wearing those?” he asks, pointing to my underwear.
“When I lean over you can see. Took me a couple days to notice, can’t believe Henry didn’t say anything. Not sure how I would have explained that.” He just nods and keeps watching me get dressed.
“You look good.” I can see him watching me in the mirror.
“Yeah?” I’ve been thinking about how Jenny is right. I am lucky. I’ve never been this lucky before and I’m always scared that it’s going to disappear if I admit that I’m finally with someone I deserve. “Thanks.”
I head to the bathroom to get ready for work. I’m glad that I’ve got somewhere to go where people talk about cars and the town news; a place where no one knows anything about me that I haven’t told them. There’s another reason that I like going though, and it’s only developed over the last seven days. While I’m at work I’m really aware of the shorts. I think about them constantly, about the fact that I’m locked into them and he’s the only one who can let me out. The first day I thought I was going to die if I couldn’t take them off. That morning he had snapped me in and kissed me goodbye, He told me to be a good boy and to do a good job, he’d be waiting for me when I got home. I walked to work really turned on which was ridiculous since he’d gotten me off right before he put them on me. “Ten days,” he had whispered, snapping the last of the locks shut.
The rest of the day I walked around half hard, my skin charged, my heart beating like there was a swallow in my chest. I was desperate to get home, to see him, to take off my clothes and let him look at me. When I finally did get home he was there just like he had promised. He took me inside and showed me how it would go, the key, the towel, the powder. He showed me how to wash out the towel with soap and where to hang it up to dry so that it would be ready the next time. He rubbed my skin and scratched my back, asking me how it felt. He asked if I had any requests and I told him he should take pictures of me so that he would remember how it looked when I left him to go to work. He likes pictures and I want the ones in the front of the box to be of me, looking like this.
Now we’re on day seven and I’m just as turned on as I was on day one. The morning and afternoon pass quickly enough. There are lots of customers to keep me busy, filling up gas tanks and wiping down windshields. It’s Friday and I’ve got the weekend off, Henry and I alternate. Five o’clock comes and I say goodbye, eager to get to get home and get started. The trailer is empty when I go inside. He had a job today, probably still there. I heat up some leftover chicken and macaroni and cheese. When it’s ready I turn on Jeopardy and eat while I watch, getting stumped on the Nebraska questions. After the Final Jeopardy question- Roman Empire - I turn off the TV and clean up. Before going to my room I pull out the couch and make it up for him with the blankets we keep under the coffee table.
My room is covered in shadows but I pull down the shade anyway so that I’ll fall asleep easily. As long as it’s dark I don’t usually have any trouble. Pulling off my clothes, I hang them over my chair and lay down on my mattress. My mind is racing; a million snapshots of what the night could entail flashing through my brain. I try to clear everything away but the pictures keep coming back so I flip over on my back and start rubbing my stomach. Maybe that will help. It just reminds me that I’m starting to feel like I have to piss, so I stop right away. No telling when he’ll be home to take care of me. This isn’t working; I’m never going to fall asleep like this. Reaching up, I pull his flannel shirt back off of the chair and put it on with nothing underneath. I feel calmer right away so I pull it a little bit tighter and lay back down. I guess it worked because the next thing I know I’m waking up to a quiet clicking noise a couple of feet away.
“What are you doing?” I’m still pretty sleepy. It always takes me a couple of minutes to really wake up.
“Nothing, close your eyes.” I do as he says and hear the camera click a couple more times. I wait until he’s done before talking again.
“What time is it?”
“Almost eleven.”
“Did you just come home?”
“Nah, I’ve been here since about seven, laid down for a little bit too.”
“Oh, good.”
“You need to me to undo you?”
“Yeah, then I’ll go get ready. It’ll take me about half an hour or so and then we can go okay?”
“All right. You gonna tell me where we’re going?”
“Nope, it’s a surprise. You’ll see soon enough. I’m pretty sure you’ll like it though. Even if you don’t you’ll like how I’ll look while we’re there. I promise.”
He wants more but that’s all I’m giving him. I lay back down so that he can get started and I welcome the blindfold since it lets me concentrate on what’s important.
At eleven forty-five I walk into the living room ready to go. He’s lying on the pullout reading the paper. He didn’t hear me come in, just as I’d hoped.
“Hey daddy.” He puts down the paper and looks up right as I’m kneeling down over him on his bed.
“Jesus Christ” It’s barely a whisper and I feel him jerk underneath me like I gave him an electrical shock.
“Do you like it?” He squeezes his eyes shut for a second and swallows hard.
“What are you doing?”
“Paying you back. Do you like how I look?” He nods his head faintly and just stares. “You took real good care of me this week. I wanted to give you a present. Do you like your present?” I tease him a little bit and he reaches for me, smoothing his hands over my waist and down my thighs. Between the boots and the shorts and the skimpy t-shirt he’s not sure where to touch me first. It’s a short-lived problem since I grab him by the wrists and pull him up, climbing off the bed and leading him to the door. “Let’s get going, it’s almost midnight.”
I lead him out to the truck and tell him to head towards the highway, handing him a piece of paper with some simple directions and an address written on it. While he drives I lean my back against the passenger door and face him, closing my eyes and running my hands over myself , whining and whimpering.
“Daddy?” He’s trying not to look.
“Yeah?”
“I want to come so bad.”
I watch his adam’s apple bob up as he swallows. “It’s just two more days.” He tries to keep his eyes focused on the road but he seems to be losing the battle.
“I don’t think I can make it. I’m so turned on all the time. It hurts.” It’s only half true. I want this but the frustration messes with my head. Right now though? This is for his benefit.
“You’re doing so good, you can make it. Just two more days and then we’ll do anything you want. You’re a good boy.”
“Pull over daddy, you can fuck me right here, in the truck. I’ll sit on your lap, just how you like me to, c’mon it’ll feel so good.” I’ve got my eyes closed, rubbing my palms over the insides of my thighs, getting myself all worked up. “You brought the key right? Please daddy, please? I really, really need it.”
Say no, please say no. Don’t pull over. Don’t pull over, say no. Say we have to wait.
He pulls on to the shoulder and my breath catches in my chest. I don’t know what to do. He’s not supposed to give in.
‘How far is this place?” He’s squinting down at the piece of paper I gave him.
Smiling, I stop what I’m doing and sit up. “How come? It getting a little too hot in here daddy?”
“C’mere.” He pulls at my wrist and I slide over. “Put your boots up on the dash there.” I do as he says, so now I’m facing forward too, sitting real close to him. ‘Now you just sit there quietly, be good, otherwise you’re gonna get us into a wreck, don’t know how I’d explain that to the authorities.” He takes his hand and runs it between my legs and over my shorts.
“All right daddy, I’ll be good and let you drive. Don’t think it’s too much farther anyway, it’s right by the college.”
“The college? Where are you taking me?”
“Told you, it’s a surprise. C'mon, let’s go.”
When we pull up to the low red brick building my stomach starts to jump. The club is on an industrial street, warehouses all around, trash on the sidewalk. There are some kids hanging out by the door, smoking , laughing, looking like they come here all the time. The view from my window makes me feel better. The shorts, the shirt, the boots, they’ll all work. They’ll blend in with the glossy patent leather and tartan plaid that seems to be the uniform here.
Looking around, I’m glad I decided not to get high before we came. This chastity thing has been fucking with my head a lot. I need it but it makes me think crazy things too. Things I haven’t thought about in a real long time, things that the deep down parts miss, things that I would never tell daddy about because then I’d have to explain them.
Two days ago I was on the verge of going over to Jenny’s to see if her step-brother Randy would hook me up with some meth. Had my excuse for Marlan all worked out about why I needed to leave work in the middle of the day, since I couldn’t go when Jenny would be around. I’d been thinking about how it had been back in Texas, thoughts that I usually kept locked away. Days when I would be tweaking so hard all I wanted to do was get fucked, didn’t matter by whom or what. I would go for hours, never coming, turned on to the point that I’d cry when they pulled out, beg them to put something else in and not leave me empty. I was never empty for long. Being locked up like this makes me think of that; always turned on, always hungry.
“Where to?” We’re parked and I’m staring at that side of the building where someone has spray painted the word Oiler onto the brick.
Crawling into his lap I rest my head on his shoulder, my mouth next to his ear. “You’re such a good daddy, the best daddy in the whole world.” When I rub him through his jeans his groan makes my skin prickle. “You’re gonna watch me okay? Just get a drink and sit back, keep your eyes right here.” I take his hand and smooth it over my chest, running it down between my legs.
When we get to the door the bouncer lets us pass after giving daddy funny look. His flannel and denim don’t blend in like my stuff does. There’s a table in the corner that’s open and he slides in, resting his head against the brick wall while I make my way to the bar. The bartenders are slammed so our drinks take a while. While I’m waiting I debate whether or not to drink mine or just give it to him since I’m not going to be able to take a leak until a lot later. I’m not as loose as I want to be so I toss the shot back when the bartender hands it to me and ask him to pour me another one which I drink just as quickly. Maybe daddy will take care of me in the bathroom here. The music is pulsating as I make my way back to the table. I sway for him making him smile, “Here you go daddy-o.”
“Music’s loud.” I close my eyes and start nodding in agreement as I let it wash over me. Backing up, I drift onto the crowded dance floor. I brought him here because I want him to watch me be a slut. I haven’t been like that for a long time but being turned on all the time makes me feel like that again. I make sure to keep him within my line of vision. Most of the time my eyes are closed but every so often I‘ll open them just to check that he’s still with me. Each time I look I see that he’s focused on my body, sipping his whiskey, enjoying the show.
My heart jolts when I open my eyes again and see that he’s not looking at me any more. Following his gaze I see a boy with no shirt dancing a few feet from me, the boy’s stare fixed on me. Sliding over I position myself in front of him and we being to move together, bumping into one another from time to time. His jeans are low and I can see the line that separates his abdomen from his thigh. I like how that looks, I want to touch him there but I keep my hands to myself. After a few songs he turns me around and runs his hands over my chest while he grinds against me.
“Is there somewhere we can go?” Leaning my head back on his shoulder, he tilts down to kiss me, murmuring ‘mm-hmmm’ while he does so. As he pushes me toward the back of the club I look over to daddy and gesture to him so that he’ll know to follow. I get pushed past the bathroom and into a little alcove where it looks like a phone used to be but now it’s just patched up drywall. It’s dark, the only real light coming from the blue light bulb burning overhead while flashes of bright light coming from the main room makes it feel like someone is taking my picture over and over again.
The music has turned into a dull thud, so I can actually understand the boy when he tells me how much I’m turning him on. Since his hands are up under my shirt and his mouth is busy on my neck I take the opportunity to run my fingers over the indentations just below his hipbones. Massaging him with my thumbs I hope that daddy can hear him groan as I get lower and lower.
“C’mere”. His hands are pawing at my shorts, trying to find a way in. I let him search and struggle for a couple of minutes enjoying the increased urgency as his frustration grows. I know that feeling pretty well by now. “Where’s the zipper?”
“There isn’t one.” I keep rubbing and he keeps pulling.
“What?”
“I’m locked in. You need a key.”
“Where’s the key?” His hands have stopped searching and are now resting on my hips, pushing down, trying to slide the shorts off that way.
“My daddy has it.”
“What? What do you mean?” Running my hand over his jeans I start rubbing his dick, the denim not doing much to conceal anything.
“My daddy makes me wear these so that I won’t get into trouble when I go out. But I can touch you. Let me touch you.” Lowering his zipper I pull him out and roll him around in my hand. I touch him all over wanting to know everything about him. His shape, his texture, what turns him on. He likes it when I rub the vein underneath so I tease him there while trying to get a good rhythm. “You have a beautiful dick, do you play with it a lot?” I say it too loud because I want daddy to hear. He ignores me, just leans his head back against the wall and pants. “I used to play with mine all the time, sometimes until it got sore, couldn’t help myself you know?. Now that I’ve got these shorts I can’t feel anything but I still like to see my hand down there. Would you put your hand there?” I think I’m bugging him. He just wants to get off but I don’t care because I can see that daddy has found a place against the wall that has a good view and I want him to see this. My new boyfriend reaches over and starts to stroke me but he’s so gone that he doesn’t do it very hard. That’s okay, his hand looks nice there. A few minutes later he comes, grimacing when he does. Before he’s able to regain his composure I lean over and whisper, “Thanks” walking out to where daddy is waiting to take me home.
“Take the back roads instead of the highway, okay daddy?”
“How come? Hardly gonna be anyone on it late as it is.”
“Because I can’t wait and ‘hardly anyone’ isn’t the same as ‘no one’.”
Sliding over the bench seat I climb into his lap so we’re sitting face to face and start nuzzling at his neck.
“Chris, I can’t drive like this.” His tone has a little laughter to it and he’s rubbing on my back.
“Try. You gotta try, okay daddy? I need this real bad. You just gotta try.”
Reaching around me he turns the ignition and I press in closer, kneeling up some to give him more room. I keep my face buried in his neck so that he can see and we make it home in about twice the time it took us to get there. When he kills the engine I sit up some.
“How many days you got left?”
“Two. Just two daddy.”
“Well that’s a good thing because you’re wearing me out.”
“You just remember who has the key.”
“Yeah, sometimes I wonder just who that is.”