Fic - Something In The Dark
Title: Something In The Dark
Characters: Jack/Ianto, mentions of others
Rating: PG-13
Summary: That something in the dark has finally caught up with him...
A/N: For au_abc prompt Bangsian (prompt meanings listed behind the link). Betaed by _stolendreams_, with thanks.
Jack drifts, regretting his death for the first time in a long time. Pointless, stupid way to go. And Ianto’s going to kill him, again, when he finally gets back, for being so very late.
He can feel the start of his return kicking in though, and wonders how freaked out the bystanders are going to be when he gasps his way back to life and pulls himself out from under that truck (provided he’s still there, of course. It’s going to be a hell of a lot worse if he’s been dragged out already and laid out somewhere. Then he can’t even pretend he managed to avoid being hit badly).
Then there’s a presence right there beside him, and he feels the terror course straight through his consciousness. That something in the dark has finally caught up with him. This is the end. It’s all over. And all of a sudden he wants back out as quick as he can, desperate to get back to life and warmth and light and Ianto, and please, please, don’t let it catch him.
He flees death quicker than he’s ever managed before, and catches a trace of hurt staining the taste of the air just before he gasps and flails and rolls over on the tarmac, to the accompaniment of shrieks from his audience.
Frantic with relief, he picks himself up, calling, “It’s okay, I’m fine. My fault, sorry,” and apologises swiftly to the shaking driver, then dusts himself down and runs on again to meet Ianto, trying to keep his mind on what he’s doing rather than anticipating and imagining the rest of their date.
:::::xxxxx:::::
The darkness welcomes him back far more warmly than it usually does. This would be nice if he wasn’t aware that the thing is nearby again, moving closer with sudden eagerness. He remembers what Suzie said, and fights his way back out to life. Whatever it wants with him it can’t be good.
He wakes in Ianto’s arms, to vast, all-consuming relief at having escaped again, and promises not to take any more bullets for people when Ianto begs him hard enough. They both know he won’t stick to it.
:::::xxxxx:::::
The last thing he thinks, as he succumbs to the poison and rages at himself for not knowing better (though this invader’s in for a shock if it thinks killing their leader in front of them will stop his team in their tracks), is that it’s going to take a long time to come back from this one. That terrifies him in ways he couldn’t explain even if he tried. It’s more than just the thing stalking him in the darkness. It’s this idea that if it catches him he won’t be able to find his way back. Much as he bemoans his fate and sighs and laments the dreadful torment of having to live for all eternity, he’ll take the light over the dark any day.
And the thought of what his death will do to Ianto is too much to bear.
When he senses that dark being heading towards him in the darkness, he turns and runs as far and as fast as he can, not caring which way he’s going, or what empty depths lie ahead, just as long as he’s keeping away from this power and presence that should not, cannot be.
He flees for eternity, and finds himself falling back towards life at long last, rejoicing in his escape.
He’s caught. Pulled back.
The light wanes, and Jack screams and struggles to break free before it’s gone and he’s trapped here in the darkness with a thing that doesn’t fit the world.
Tell me when.
He’s released. He falls, too shocked to catch himself, and jolts violently back to life, breaking Owen’s nose as his limbs jerk out with the suddenness of his return. Owen uses more swearwords and insults in one breath than Jack can quite take in right now. He’s far too busy staring at Ianto.
Tell me when.
The voice was Ianto’s.
:::::xxxxx:::::
He feels the presence waiting for him when he sinks into death with a sigh, lungs empty of air. His little air-tight cell becomes utterly unimportant as the darkness sweeps in.
This time he doesn’t run.
Tell me when.
“When what?” he asks, and feels a smile. He shudders, because that’s just as wrong. In this eternal darkness, there should be no warmth and joy. This is the cold and lonely misery of forever, and nothing can change that.
When you’re ready, the presence tells him, sounding just like Ianto will if he gets enough time to grow old and wise and serene.
“For what?” he whispers, drawing back in fear and flinching when the presence moves closer. To his surprise (and relief) it stops, returning to its original distance, just close enough for him to feel the gentle warmth of its smiles.
To stay, it tells him, and he flees.
:::::xxxxx:::::
Tell me when, it murmurs longingly, and he thinks of Ianto trying frantically to stop the bleeding, kissing him desperately and crying over his death despite the fact he knows he’s coming back, and turns back to the light, saying, “Not yet.”
:::::xxxxx:::::
Death is easier when he knows there’s someone waiting for him, and he faces up to his immortality with greater courage for the fact that he has an alternative.
Sometimes it’s easier to flee in than out, these days.
He takes his anger and misery with him, and feels that waiting presence recoil from his fury, flinching back as if it’s aimed at it.
Not now, it begs him. Not like this.
“Now,” he tells it firmly. “I’m not going back. He doesn’t want me around, then fine. I’m gone.”
The darkness flares around him, and there’s pain as the presence reaches into him and understands. They mingle, and he tries to pull away, not wanting to feel the thing’s sympathy and pity and - no, not that, not that.
He yanks away with a scream, and it lets him go, because it knows what happened, now. It knows about that stupid argument with Ianto, and all the accusations, and how much Jack hurts because Ianto keeps assuming everything’s one sided in the end, and Jack won’t ever be able to stay faithful and loving the way Ianto wants him to. It knows he went away and shot himself, because he’s that sick of not being believed when he says he loves Ianto and he can change if Ianto will only let him.
He breaks and sobs and runs from this being that’s been his comfort for so long now. It lets him go, because it knows everything, and he runs because he knows, now, why it’s there for him.
It loves him.
And he can’t ever, ever love it back.
:::::xxxxx:::::
He waits in the darkness with an emptiness that would be patience if he could muster the strength to think about it. He’s tired. So very tired.
The word alone crosses his mind, but he rejects it with a last conscious effort, then lets the dark wash over him.
And then the thing is there with him, saying, All of time is a moment here. It’s not the same as you feel. I found you too soon.
Jack can barely bring himself to acknowledge its presence. He doesn’t give a shit one way or another right now. Ever since Ianto died he’s been stumbling along, deaf and blind and helpless and uncaring, waiting for something to kill him one last time because he couldn’t break that promise he made to Ianto so very long ago, when Ianto finally let him close and he swore he’d never take his own life again. He’s kept all his other promises to Ianto - breaking this last one would have been unthinkable.
Stay with me, the thing says gently, and Jack holds out his hands blindly, mouth empty of words. There’s nothing he wants more than the blissful peace of darkness and one final death now.
Then there are hands on his. He flinches weakly, prepares himself for some horrific rending of his soul and scattering of his mind, but there’s just those hands, gentle on his palms.
“What do I have to do?” he asks at last, aching for it all to be over.
Open your eyes.
He sobs in frustration, because he hasn’t the heart for any more riddles and can’t this presence just do whatever it has to to finish him?
You’ve forgotten how, it murmurs. Poor Jack.
He pulls away and turns to wander into the darkness, ready to lie down and let whatever happens happen, but a hand catches his wrist and pulls him back. He can’t bring himself to fight.
Hands touch his face, fitting smoothly to the contours of his cheeks and jaw, and then there’s breath on his lips and he’s told, “Everyone comes here blind. It’s only hell if you have no-one who loves you waiting for you.”
He’s not quite ready for the kiss, and would pull away except that those lips are gentle but insistent and oh so familiar. When they leave his he shudders in a breath and begs the presence, “Don’t do this to me. It’s not fair.”
“All’s fair in love,” he’s told, feeling that smile warm him again, and only now registers that the being is using Ianto’s voice properly, audible instead of ethereal.
His lips are kissed again, that smile felt against his skin as well as under it, and then the presence tells him, “You can hear me. See me, Jack. Open your eyes,” and there are kisses being pressed to his cheeks, his forehead - and his eyelids.
He can’t help a gasp, and those lips return to his for a moment, warm breath ghosting between them as he’s told, “I’ve been waiting for you for so long. You never understood, but I can keep you here, Jack. If you want me. If you’ll let me. I can finish it. I can give you peace.”
It takes more strength than Jack thought he had left to force his eyes open at long, long last. The first thing he sees - the only thing that matters - is Ianto. His Ianto, whole and young and beautiful, smiling a little and looking so damn proud of him.
For a long time Jack just gazes at him, drinking him in and aching with loss and longing.
“I’m here,” Ianto tells him, stroking his cheek. “Jack, this is me. Really me. And this place isn’t dark if you’ve got someone to show you the way. You have a choice to make.”
Jack leans into his caress with the ease of years of practice, then covers Ianto’s hand with his own, letting his eyes drift closed again and knowing he can open them at any time and Ianto will still be there for him.
And then there’s light. He opens his eyes hurriedly, clutching Ianto’s hand against his cheek and ready to panic because he’s about to be dragged back to a universe where everyone he loves has died or abandoned him and he knows he doesn’t have the courage to go on alone.
“I can keep you here,” Ianto whispers, and Jack looks between him and the advancing light.
For a long, long moment Jack weighs everything in his mind. Everything he’s done and could go on to do, and fate and destiny and the Doctor’s disgust, and Ianto, and peace, and an end where there was none before.
He steps forward, wraps his arms around Ianto, and murmurs, “Keep me.”
The light fades.
And Jack is content.
Characters: Jack/Ianto, mentions of others
Rating: PG-13
Summary: That something in the dark has finally caught up with him...
A/N: For au_abc prompt Bangsian (prompt meanings listed behind the link). Betaed by _stolendreams_, with thanks.
Jack drifts, regretting his death for the first time in a long time. Pointless, stupid way to go. And Ianto’s going to kill him, again, when he finally gets back, for being so very late.
He can feel the start of his return kicking in though, and wonders how freaked out the bystanders are going to be when he gasps his way back to life and pulls himself out from under that truck (provided he’s still there, of course. It’s going to be a hell of a lot worse if he’s been dragged out already and laid out somewhere. Then he can’t even pretend he managed to avoid being hit badly).
Then there’s a presence right there beside him, and he feels the terror course straight through his consciousness. That something in the dark has finally caught up with him. This is the end. It’s all over. And all of a sudden he wants back out as quick as he can, desperate to get back to life and warmth and light and Ianto, and please, please, don’t let it catch him.
He flees death quicker than he’s ever managed before, and catches a trace of hurt staining the taste of the air just before he gasps and flails and rolls over on the tarmac, to the accompaniment of shrieks from his audience.
Frantic with relief, he picks himself up, calling, “It’s okay, I’m fine. My fault, sorry,” and apologises swiftly to the shaking driver, then dusts himself down and runs on again to meet Ianto, trying to keep his mind on what he’s doing rather than anticipating and imagining the rest of their date.
:::::xxxxx:::::
The darkness welcomes him back far more warmly than it usually does. This would be nice if he wasn’t aware that the thing is nearby again, moving closer with sudden eagerness. He remembers what Suzie said, and fights his way back out to life. Whatever it wants with him it can’t be good.
He wakes in Ianto’s arms, to vast, all-consuming relief at having escaped again, and promises not to take any more bullets for people when Ianto begs him hard enough. They both know he won’t stick to it.
:::::xxxxx:::::
The last thing he thinks, as he succumbs to the poison and rages at himself for not knowing better (though this invader’s in for a shock if it thinks killing their leader in front of them will stop his team in their tracks), is that it’s going to take a long time to come back from this one. That terrifies him in ways he couldn’t explain even if he tried. It’s more than just the thing stalking him in the darkness. It’s this idea that if it catches him he won’t be able to find his way back. Much as he bemoans his fate and sighs and laments the dreadful torment of having to live for all eternity, he’ll take the light over the dark any day.
And the thought of what his death will do to Ianto is too much to bear.
When he senses that dark being heading towards him in the darkness, he turns and runs as far and as fast as he can, not caring which way he’s going, or what empty depths lie ahead, just as long as he’s keeping away from this power and presence that should not, cannot be.
He flees for eternity, and finds himself falling back towards life at long last, rejoicing in his escape.
He’s caught. Pulled back.
The light wanes, and Jack screams and struggles to break free before it’s gone and he’s trapped here in the darkness with a thing that doesn’t fit the world.
Tell me when.
He’s released. He falls, too shocked to catch himself, and jolts violently back to life, breaking Owen’s nose as his limbs jerk out with the suddenness of his return. Owen uses more swearwords and insults in one breath than Jack can quite take in right now. He’s far too busy staring at Ianto.
Tell me when.
The voice was Ianto’s.
:::::xxxxx:::::
He feels the presence waiting for him when he sinks into death with a sigh, lungs empty of air. His little air-tight cell becomes utterly unimportant as the darkness sweeps in.
This time he doesn’t run.
Tell me when.
“When what?” he asks, and feels a smile. He shudders, because that’s just as wrong. In this eternal darkness, there should be no warmth and joy. This is the cold and lonely misery of forever, and nothing can change that.
When you’re ready, the presence tells him, sounding just like Ianto will if he gets enough time to grow old and wise and serene.
“For what?” he whispers, drawing back in fear and flinching when the presence moves closer. To his surprise (and relief) it stops, returning to its original distance, just close enough for him to feel the gentle warmth of its smiles.
To stay, it tells him, and he flees.
:::::xxxxx:::::
Tell me when, it murmurs longingly, and he thinks of Ianto trying frantically to stop the bleeding, kissing him desperately and crying over his death despite the fact he knows he’s coming back, and turns back to the light, saying, “Not yet.”
:::::xxxxx:::::
Death is easier when he knows there’s someone waiting for him, and he faces up to his immortality with greater courage for the fact that he has an alternative.
Sometimes it’s easier to flee in than out, these days.
He takes his anger and misery with him, and feels that waiting presence recoil from his fury, flinching back as if it’s aimed at it.
Not now, it begs him. Not like this.
“Now,” he tells it firmly. “I’m not going back. He doesn’t want me around, then fine. I’m gone.”
The darkness flares around him, and there’s pain as the presence reaches into him and understands. They mingle, and he tries to pull away, not wanting to feel the thing’s sympathy and pity and - no, not that, not that.
He yanks away with a scream, and it lets him go, because it knows what happened, now. It knows about that stupid argument with Ianto, and all the accusations, and how much Jack hurts because Ianto keeps assuming everything’s one sided in the end, and Jack won’t ever be able to stay faithful and loving the way Ianto wants him to. It knows he went away and shot himself, because he’s that sick of not being believed when he says he loves Ianto and he can change if Ianto will only let him.
He breaks and sobs and runs from this being that’s been his comfort for so long now. It lets him go, because it knows everything, and he runs because he knows, now, why it’s there for him.
It loves him.
And he can’t ever, ever love it back.
:::::xxxxx:::::
He waits in the darkness with an emptiness that would be patience if he could muster the strength to think about it. He’s tired. So very tired.
The word alone crosses his mind, but he rejects it with a last conscious effort, then lets the dark wash over him.
And then the thing is there with him, saying, All of time is a moment here. It’s not the same as you feel. I found you too soon.
Jack can barely bring himself to acknowledge its presence. He doesn’t give a shit one way or another right now. Ever since Ianto died he’s been stumbling along, deaf and blind and helpless and uncaring, waiting for something to kill him one last time because he couldn’t break that promise he made to Ianto so very long ago, when Ianto finally let him close and he swore he’d never take his own life again. He’s kept all his other promises to Ianto - breaking this last one would have been unthinkable.
Stay with me, the thing says gently, and Jack holds out his hands blindly, mouth empty of words. There’s nothing he wants more than the blissful peace of darkness and one final death now.
Then there are hands on his. He flinches weakly, prepares himself for some horrific rending of his soul and scattering of his mind, but there’s just those hands, gentle on his palms.
“What do I have to do?” he asks at last, aching for it all to be over.
Open your eyes.
He sobs in frustration, because he hasn’t the heart for any more riddles and can’t this presence just do whatever it has to to finish him?
You’ve forgotten how, it murmurs. Poor Jack.
He pulls away and turns to wander into the darkness, ready to lie down and let whatever happens happen, but a hand catches his wrist and pulls him back. He can’t bring himself to fight.
Hands touch his face, fitting smoothly to the contours of his cheeks and jaw, and then there’s breath on his lips and he’s told, “Everyone comes here blind. It’s only hell if you have no-one who loves you waiting for you.”
He’s not quite ready for the kiss, and would pull away except that those lips are gentle but insistent and oh so familiar. When they leave his he shudders in a breath and begs the presence, “Don’t do this to me. It’s not fair.”
“All’s fair in love,” he’s told, feeling that smile warm him again, and only now registers that the being is using Ianto’s voice properly, audible instead of ethereal.
His lips are kissed again, that smile felt against his skin as well as under it, and then the presence tells him, “You can hear me. See me, Jack. Open your eyes,” and there are kisses being pressed to his cheeks, his forehead - and his eyelids.
He can’t help a gasp, and those lips return to his for a moment, warm breath ghosting between them as he’s told, “I’ve been waiting for you for so long. You never understood, but I can keep you here, Jack. If you want me. If you’ll let me. I can finish it. I can give you peace.”
It takes more strength than Jack thought he had left to force his eyes open at long, long last. The first thing he sees - the only thing that matters - is Ianto. His Ianto, whole and young and beautiful, smiling a little and looking so damn proud of him.
For a long time Jack just gazes at him, drinking him in and aching with loss and longing.
“I’m here,” Ianto tells him, stroking his cheek. “Jack, this is me. Really me. And this place isn’t dark if you’ve got someone to show you the way. You have a choice to make.”
Jack leans into his caress with the ease of years of practice, then covers Ianto’s hand with his own, letting his eyes drift closed again and knowing he can open them at any time and Ianto will still be there for him.
And then there’s light. He opens his eyes hurriedly, clutching Ianto’s hand against his cheek and ready to panic because he’s about to be dragged back to a universe where everyone he loves has died or abandoned him and he knows he doesn’t have the courage to go on alone.
“I can keep you here,” Ianto whispers, and Jack looks between him and the advancing light.
For a long, long moment Jack weighs everything in his mind. Everything he’s done and could go on to do, and fate and destiny and the Doctor’s disgust, and Ianto, and peace, and an end where there was none before.
He steps forward, wraps his arms around Ianto, and murmurs, “Keep me.”
The light fades.
And Jack is content.