America just might fall apart
My mom just at me down for a talk and actually brought up a good point. That I've pretty much given up on life lately. Which, I have. I used to spend my time making my own stuff, reading up on and supporting anarchism, finding ways to support local punk bands and trying to start my own...now I don't even bother. I've pretty much given up hope on being anti-capitalist and making a difference. Hell, I got frustrated that any way I try to fight sweatshops I'm just going to be supporting them and ignored the issue. I just lost hope.
Maybe it's because my friends and family aren't the greatest support lately. My dad's given up entirely and all he does is yell, the rest of my family is calling me every name in the book and telling me I'm going to hell because I'm not going to my mother's wedding, and my friends generally don't have much nice to say unless I slip up, in which they laugh and call me a dumbass. It builds up, and after a while it's hard to take. I try to go out of my way to be a little nicer to everybody. I thank people for wonderful days, and my happiness, and I'm usually more happy just seeing that they're happy. But I also try to take everyone's pain, and defend everybody, and that usually doesn't work because everybody thinks their pain is the worst. Soo...I just end up feeling their pain and not helping at all. And people never seem to acknowledge what I do. (Aside Adam. I love that little kid so much. Must get him something for his B-day!) I never get a thank you...crap now I sound like my dad.
So this is my wakeup call...gotta get back to believing in myself and trying to make a difference. I just came way too close to drowning in a dirty cesspool of capitalism.
Maybe it's because my friends and family aren't the greatest support lately. My dad's given up entirely and all he does is yell, the rest of my family is calling me every name in the book and telling me I'm going to hell because I'm not going to my mother's wedding, and my friends generally don't have much nice to say unless I slip up, in which they laugh and call me a dumbass. It builds up, and after a while it's hard to take. I try to go out of my way to be a little nicer to everybody. I thank people for wonderful days, and my happiness, and I'm usually more happy just seeing that they're happy. But I also try to take everyone's pain, and defend everybody, and that usually doesn't work because everybody thinks their pain is the worst. Soo...I just end up feeling their pain and not helping at all. And people never seem to acknowledge what I do. (Aside Adam. I love that little kid so much. Must get him something for his B-day!) I never get a thank you...crap now I sound like my dad.
So this is my wakeup call...gotta get back to believing in myself and trying to make a difference. I just came way too close to drowning in a dirty cesspool of capitalism.