fic: take this sinking boat and point it home

[snuffleslove]

He wakes to Louis: his smell, the weight of his limbs, the warmth of his breath.

"What're you - What're you doing here," he mumbles, twisting a little in his grasp to nose against the line of his jaw.

"Good morning sunshine," Louis sings, and Liam can feel him smile against him. He doesn't sound sleepy. He sounds wide awake. "Fun night?"

Liam blushes.

"Nothing happened," he says quickly, and then, "But yeah, I had a good time."

"Nothing happened?" Louis teases, "Here I was expecting juicy details - " he makes to get out of bed and Liam huffs a laugh, tugs him back down.

"Nothing happened," he echoes, "I dunno. We just. We talked. And we sat. And - Wait, Louis, fuck! What time is it? What about the shop - "

"Calm down, Li, Christ," Louis consoles with a rolls of his eyes, "Harry's watching it for a couple hours between classes. Thought you might need a wake up call today."

"Fuck," Liam mutters, turning back around and burying his face in his hands, "I'm sorry, Lou, I - "

"What is wrong with you?" Louis asks him, but his voice is fond. "You know you don't have to apologize - "

"I do, though," Liam says stubbornly, biting his lip, "I'm making all this trouble for you and Niall, and God, for Mack, and for what? For a boy who's just going to leave?" he runs a hand through his hair, "God, what the fuck am I doing - "

"He's special," Louis whispers, "You know he is. I know he is. Fuck, even Mack knows he is." Liam turns in Louis' grasp to bury his face in Louis' chest.

"Yeah," Liam says finally, voice small.

"The fact that he didn't fuck right off after he found out about Mack should tell you that much."

"Yeah I know," Liam closes his eyes, "But it doesn't matter now, Lou, he's leaving - "

"Maybe you can go with him," Louis tries, but Liam is already shaking his head.

"Uproot my life and Mack's for a boy I met a few months ago? Lou that's insane. Maybe it'd be different if it was just me I had to think about but - "

"Liam, it's not that bad," Louis tells him feelingly, turning him over so that he can look at him properly, "You have a kid. So what? It's - Everyone's got their baggage Li - "

Liam sighs.

"She's not just baggage, Lou. She's. Responsibility and discipline and money and. I mean, Harry and you've been together for years, but you're not ready for kids yet are you?"

"No, but - "

"He's just getting started. He's got his feet on the edge of the world right now, Lou and -" Liam takes a deep breath, "And I've already crossed over. He's just getting started, and I'm already finished."

"That's not true, Li - " Louis begins fiercely, but Liam cuts him off.

"And what if he changes his mind about us? What if he decides the people he meets in his new life are more than I'll ever be? I can't have anyone walk out on her again, Louis," Liam whispers, "I can't - Fuck. She deserves the world, and I'm not. I don't care about me, okay? I care about her. Whatever it takes to give her the world."

"Oh Liam," Louis murmurs and his voice is sad and Liam turns his face into the pillow to hide from it, "You've given her everything. You're that child's everything. She wants you to be happy - "

He cuts off as the door opens and Harry appears, holding Mack on his hip and carrying a plate of food precariously with his other hand,

"Well well, look what we have here," says Harry with a grin, "Hey babe," he puts the food on the dresser and leans down to peck Louis on the lips.

"Hi you," Louis smiles against his mouth, mood perking up instantly, "Karen watching the shop?"

"Yup," Harry nods, "She and I traded places so I could bring this little munchkin," he tickles her belly, "to her Daddy. What do we say to Daddy, Mack?"

"Good morning, Daddy," Mack giggles, "It's four o clock, you big sleepy head."

"Hey, who're you calling a sleepy head," Liam growls at her, opening his arms so that she can settle in them and pull on his hair. "Thanks for bringing me my lunch, Uncle Haz," he says, taking her up in his arms and nipping at her. She shrieks.

"No no, we made you a sandwich," she protests. "Uncle Louis, save me."

"Bit busy, Mackadoo," Louis grins. He's pulled Harry down into bed, and he's bringing him in for a kiss, making smoochy noises to go along with it.

"Ew," Mack says, wrinkling her nose and sticking out her tongue at them, "I'm glad you don't do that Daddy, that's gross."

Liam feels Louis and Harry still.

"Yeah," he says, mouth suddenly dry. He swallows against it, "So I can have more time to eat you up," he teases, making her giggle again. He can feel Harry and Louis watching him and he determinedly does not look at them. "Come on, then," he says, "Tell me what you did at school today."

It's about twenty minutes later that Zayn shows up on his doorstep. He looks as exhausted as Liam feels, with dark circles under his eyes and sweats that pull low at his hips but he offers Liam a shy smile, tongue behind his teeth.

"Hi Zayn," Louis says brightly from behind Liam, "Wow," he whistles, "Even when you look like shit, you really don't look like shit."

Zayn blushes, bottom lip between his teeth, and Liam would come to his rescue except that he whole-heartedly agrees. Luckily Mack is there to break the awkward silence, squeezing between Louis and Liam to give Zayn a hug and Liam watches as Zayn kneels to embrace her, eyes closing as he strokes her hair.

"What are you doing here?" Liam asks dumbly, "Thought you were coming after dinner."

"Right, about that -" Zayn begins, standing up and scratching the back of his head sheepishly.

"Uh oh," Harry says amusedly, coming up behind them and wrapping arms around Louis' waist. "Someone's been naughty."

Zayn shoots him a glare.

"Niall wants to celebrate after dinner, the whole group of us, you know," he explains, "So he told me to tell you that um. He gives Mack permission to have dessert before dinner. Just this once," Zayn adds, because Mack has already started jumping up and down.

"Dessert before dinner," she's singing happily, wrapping arms around Zayn's waist.

"I've always admired his spunk," Louis says, grinning cheekily up at Harry, "Facing Papa Bear with such crazy ideas as dessert before dinner. That takes courage."

Zayn flushes and Liam does too.

"Oh, go on then, Liam," Harry says rather unhelpfully, "Just the once."

"What? No I can't, I've got revision to catch up on," Liam mumbles, feeling suddenly very outnumbered.

"Daddy slept through all his classes today," Mack pipes up helpfully.

"Is that so," Zayn says amusedly, pursing his lips like he's trying hard not to laugh.

"That is so," Louis replies solemnly, "He's all out of sorts because of you."

Liam groans.

"God, Lou, shut up," he mutters, "I swear to God - "

"So can I go, Daddy?" Mack interrupts impatiently, looking up at him with hopeful eyes.

"Yeah, can she go Daddy?" Harry asks too, eager. Liam sighs.

"Thought you guys were my friends first," he grumbles, "Alright go on then," he says, resigned, "But I'll have you know I'm being ganged up on and I don't like it one bit."

Mack lets out a triumphant shout.

"Oh, don't worry Daddy," she says, "I love you the most. I just love Zayn second - "

"What?," Louis and Harry exclaim with mock outrage. Louis twists to look up at Harry.

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" he asks devilishly.

"Well," Harry tilts his head, "If you're thinking she's in a lot of trouble then yes, I'm thinking what you're thinking."

Mack giggles.

"Uncle Haz," she protests, covering her mouth with her hands.

"You better hope Zayn can protect you from us, Mack - " Louis says, sticking his tongue out at her when she giggles at him from behind Zayn's legs.

"Zayn will protect me," she says determinedly, and Zayn laughs.

"Got that right, baby girl," he says easily and they share a commiserating smirk and Liam is in so much trouble.

"You better run," Harry tells her, widening his eyes comically and pulling a scary face.

Mack shrieks.

"C'mon Zayn," she urges him.

"Hey hey wait," Liam says. "C'mere, your hair's a mess." He kneels and takes the hair tie from around her wrist, pulling her curls together into a ponytail. "Do I get a kiss then?"

"Love you," she says, pressing a kiss to his cheek obediently.

"Love you," he tells her softly, nudging their noses together.

"Impressive," Zayn teases, when Liam's straightened.

"Oh go on," Liam says gruffly, "Before I change my mind."

"And come back for dinner," Karen calls from inside the kitchen. Liam groans inwardly.

Yeah, he is definitely outnumbered.

"I knew this was a bad idea - " Liam is pacing furiously through their kitchen, running a hand roughly through his hair.

"Hey," Louis tries, reaching for him, but Liam shakes him off.

"Li, it's only been a few hours - " Harry begins softly.

"it's way passed dinner time," Liam growls, "They should have been back ages ago."

"I'm sure there's a perfectly good explanation - " Louis tries to reason with him, but Liam glares at him.

"Don't you dare take his side," he fumes, "He's. You hardly know him. She's my daughter and I let her go with a kid who's practically a stranger and - and you lot let me," he accuses them, voice bordering on nasty.

"Liam," Karen says sharply, "That's enough. He's not a stranger. He's a good kid and he's given you no reason not to trust him. He'll be back soon enough, you hear?"

"But I - "

Just then the doorbell rings. Harry and Louis both stand but Liam shoots them a stern look.

"Stay here," he orders. He storms out and yanks the front door open and there stand Mack and Zayn, hand in hand. She's got leaves in her hair and wind kissed cheeks and she's smiling happily up at him, eyes bright.

"Daddy," she grins, "Daddy, I had the best time - "

"Where have you been?" Liam says in a dangerous voice, looking at Zayn. The smile slides right off his face.

"Daddy - " Mack cries.

"Mackenzie, go inside," Liam tells her quietly.

"But Daddy," Mack protests.

"It was my fault, Li - " Zayn says quickly, but Liam ignores him.

"Go. Now," he shouts. Her eyes widen in shock; Liam hardly ever raises his voice. Before he can apologize though, she pushes past him, eyes swimming with tears. .

When she's gone, Liam turns his attention on Zayn, embarrassment adding to his fury.

"I've been worried sick," he yells.

"I know, I know, I'm sorry," Zayn says and his voice is choked. "We went to the park and - "

"The park?" Liam snarls, and Zayn winces, draws back, "You told me you were gonna take her for ice cream and then you take her to the damned park? Who the fuck do you think you are?"

"Liam - " Zayn pleads, but Liam's beyond reason, fear that Mack is going to get hurt, that he's going to get hurt, taking root as anger. He kicks the door shut behind him so that it's just the two of them on his doorstep.

"You can't just come marching in and take my daughter anywhere you please, Zayn," Liam yells, "You're - "

"I'm what?" Zayn interrupts, voice a quiet challenge, "What am I, Liam?"

The edge in Zayn's voice stuns Liam into silence.

Zayn's eyes narrow.

"Say it to my face, Liam," Zayn demands, low and nasty, "Come on. Say it. I'm East Side trash, Liam. Aren't I? I'm East Side trash, and you don't want me anywhere your family."

"Wh - what," Liam stutters, shocked, "That's not - "

"No, I don't blame you," Zayn says miserably, hands up in front of him, "But I told you I was clean of it. And I thought you. Fuck. I thought you listened - "

"Zayn, I - "

"No, just. God I am so stupid," Zayn mutters, shaking his head, "Just - " but Liam's fisted his hands in Zayn's shirt and pressed their lips together furiously, kissing him with a desperation he's felt since he first laid eyes on him. Zayn groans like he can't help himself, kisses back with strong hands around Liam's hips.

Liam forces himself to break the kiss but keeps him close to watch the way Zayn's eyes open slowly, pupils blown with desire.

"I never even thought about that," Liam says fiercely, "Not for one second. I swear."

Zayn closes his eyes. Liam can feel his breath coming in shudders. After a moment he nods once.

"You terrify me," Liam confesses lowly, "You scare the shit out of me but it has nothing to do with that, okay? I'm scared because it's only been a few weeks and I already have no idea what I'd do without you and - . I'm sorry. Zayn, look at me. I'm sorry, okay?"

Zayn bites his lip, eyes searching Liam's, and it takes all Liam's got not to kiss him again.

"C'mon," Liam mumbles, "Come inside. Have dinner with us. Mack's gonna be furious with me and I could use you to soften her up."

For a long minute Zayn looks like he's going to say no, but then he sighs, relaxes a little in Liam's grip.

"Both you and your daughter are impossible to say no to," he says. Liam offers him a meek smile and after a moment Zayn returns it with a wavering smile of his own, "Okay, yeah."

"Let me just," Zayn starts, when they're in the hallway. He rubs a hand over his face tiredly, and Liam remembers with a flash of guilt that Zayn hasn't slept much either, "Let me just use the bathroom."

"Take your time, we'll wait for you, yeah?"

When he walks into the kitchen, he finds Mack curled up in Harry's lap, face buried in his tee. Louis's looking at him with round sympathetic eyes, and his mom doesn't look at him at all.

"Hey, Mackadoo," Harry whispers, petting her curls. She looks up at Liam with big, water stained eyes and Liam feels them like a punch in the gut.

"Mack, I'm sorry," he says, moving forward to kneel next to her.

"Where'd he go?" she asks him, voice wet with nearly shed tears. "Did he leave? Daddy he didn't mean to bring me home late, I swear. You can't make him leave - "

Liam feels a little sick. Apparently no Payne is immune to the assault.

He opens his mouth to tell her Zayn's here still, that he hasn't walked out yet, that Liam hopes he never does, when he sees her eyes widen. He turns to see Zayn standing in the doorway, a smile on his face that creates butterflies in Liam's stomach and a thrum of energy in his muscles.

He needs to run for like, ten miles.

"I'm here, Mack," Zayn tells her softly, "Your dad can't scare me away, don't you worry. I'm not going anywhere," he shoots Liam a significant look, "And besides, told you I'd protect you from these two, didn't I?" he teases, face relaxing into a smile for Harry and Louis.

Harry kisses the top of Mack's head.

"Hear that baby, no need for tears, yeah?" he whispers, returning Zayn's smile.

Zayn takes the small girl from Harry's lap into his arms, so that she can wrap bony legs around his waist and arms around his neck.

"You've still got leaves in your hair, Mackaroo," Zayn teases, tongue behind his teeth. She offers him a watery smile.

"What'd you guys even do?" Louis asks lightly. He's stood, circled around to help Liam to his feet, and now he wraps strong arms around Liam's waist, stands on tip toes to rest his chin on Liam's shoulder.

"Had a leaf fight," Mack tells him, excitement quickly replacing her sadness, "We built this gigantic leaf pile in the park by the swings, Uncle Louis! You should have seen it. It was really really really big," she swings her arms out, nearly bopping Zayn in the nose, wriggling until he puts her down, "And Grandma, remember that man we saw doing sketches in the sidewalk? The one with the funny hat?"

Karen looks up from where she's setting the table and Zayn steals the utensils from her hand to help her out.

"Yeah, baby, I do," she says amusedly.

"Well, Zayn asked if he could borrow some chalk, and then he sketched me! Only some of the chalk smudged, but it still looked really cool!"

Harry whistles.

"Liam, you've found a man of many talents," he comments.

"I know," Liam says softly, looking at Zayn. Zayn's ducked his head, eyes lowered, and Liam feels arousal like a hand around his heart.

"I tried to draw him too, - " Mack is saying and Liam forces himself to breathe, relax into Louis' grip.

"Everything turn out okay then?" Louis asks, turning his head to whisper in Liam's ear.

Liam kisses Louis' temple in response, and Louis just smiles knowingly at him and then lets go to help his mom bring the food to the table.

"Where's Niall?" Harry asks. He's finished pulling the leaves out of Mack's hair and sent her running to wash up.

"Should be here any minute," Louis says with a frown, glancing at his watch. Right on cue, a voice booms from the hallway.

"I'm back and I'm starved, Karen," he calls out, "Had to work through lunch today - And look the family's already here. How was dessert before dinner Mack?"

He ruffles Mack's curls and presses a kiss to the frown in Liam's brow and has moved into the dining room before Liam can open his mouth.

"Hey, c'mere," Liam says, intercepting Mack before she gets to the table, "I'm sorry I yelled, baby, okay? Forgive me?"

She smiles at him, young and sweet and Liam will fight to keep that smile on her face until his dying day.

"I'm sorry I worried you," she says and Liam kisses her on the nose.

"I love you," he tells her softly.

"I love you," she says, "You're the best daddy ever."

"I agree," Louis says, pinching Liam's cheek. "Best daddy ever."

"Let's get him a mug," Harry proposes.

"No no, a tie, Harold, a tie," Louis says, "He'll look just dapper."

"A button," Zayn suggests a little slyly, and Liam attempts to glare at him but he's fighting a losing battle.

Louis claps his hands together.

"A button it is," he declares, "A button the size of your face Mackadoo."

He sticks a hand in her face and she promptly licks it. Louis squawks.

"What is with you Paynes and eating people."

They move into the family room after dinner. Mack is exhausted already but she fights to keep her eyes open long enough to settle between Zayn and Liam on the couch and burrow into Zayn's chest.

Liam watches quietly as her hand reaches out and clutches in the thin material of Zayn's t-shirt and swallows hard.

"If she gets heavy or - " he manages before Zayn gives him a look.

"Mack weighs like, half a pound, Li," Niall tells him incredulously.

"She's thirty four and a half pounds, actually," Liam mutters but no one's listening to him.

"I think I should get out a bottle of wine," Karen is saying, "We're supposed to be celebrating tonight, aren't we?"

"No Karen, you really don't have to," Zayn protests feebly, blushing red, but Karen clucks her tongue.

"You're family now," she tells him, "And we are going to celebrate you."

Zayn blushes harder but a small smile plays at his lips and he leans his head against Mack's curls with a sigh of happy resignation.

"Alright then," he mumbles, allows Karen to kiss him briefly on the forehead before she heads into the kitchen, Harry trailing behind her to lend a hand.

They come back with slices of pie and wine for everyone and Liam's heart does funny things in his ribcage when Zayn smiles so his eyes crinkle.

"To Zayn," Karen says, holding up her glass.

"To family," Zayn corrects with an embarrassed shake of his head.

"To beautiful music," Niall says softly.

"Really beautiful music," Mack whispers and they all start slightly.

"Thanks Mack," Zayn smiles a little, turning his attention back to the little girl curled up in his lap, "Hey. You're sneaky. I thought you were asleep."

"I am asleep," Mack mumbles and Zayn laughs silently.

"Do you want to go to your room?" he asks her. She shakes her head furiously.

"Fifteen more minutes."

"Is that alright, Daddy?" Zayn asks, looking up at him with blush stained cheeks. Liam swallows hard.

"Yeah," he manages, "Yeah that's - that's fine."

They finish their wine and their pie in a silence for Mack, sleepy themselves with the warmth of the liquid and the love. Zayn's left most of his wine untouched, glass abandoned on the corner table so he can rest his head on Mack's and close his eyes, dark lashes falling heavy against his cheekbones.

Beautiful, Liam thinks, before he can disallow it.

"To beautiful people," he says out loud. Zayn's eyes remain closed, but a shy smile softens his features, "To fate."

Liam's walking Zayn to the door when suddenly Zayn turns around, eyes dancing wickedly.

"What?" Liam asks cautiously, determinedly ignoring the way his pulse jumps at Zayn's mischief.

"Nothing," Zayn says casually, "Just. You kissed me here. On this very spot."

"Did I?" Liam asks faintly, dry-mouthed.

"Yeah," Zayn says, "You couldn't resist," he teases. His eyes are dark, nearly half-lidded as he looks up at Liam, "Bet I could make you do it again."

"Zayn - " Liam pleads, because, fuck. Liam wants to kiss him already and he hasn't even done anything.

Zayn smirks a little, corner of his mouth crooked up, snaring the steady beat of Liam's heart.

"Goodnight Li," he says softly, "Sweet dreams."

"Hey baby Mack, do you think it'd be alright if I talked to your dad for a bit?"

Liam looks up curiously at Louis from his desk. He's home early and he looks troubled so Liam immediate marks his place in the text he's reading and turns to face him.

Mack's left the room, closing the door behind her, and still Louis remains quiet, shifting his weight from side to side.

"Lou?" Liam asks tentatively, mouth pulled down in a frown. Louis sighs, eyes traveling around the room anxiously before they settle on Liam again, worry painted clear as day on his face.

"Listen, Li. I just. Before I say this, I wanted to say I was sorry. I really didn't mean to - . Fuck, I just do things sometimes without thinking and now Niall's about to have my head because of it and - "

"Hey," Liam consoles, "Slow down, Lou. What's going on?"

"Liam," Louis sighs, closes his eyes for a brief moment and then finally reopens them to look hard at Liam, "Zayn's going to go to New York for a week, to meet with a couple of execs. Simon loved his CD. Says he might have a real future there."

Liam swallows. He can't say he's surprised exactly, but hearing the words out loud still makes the ground fall away beneath him.

"Fuck," he says softly, rubbing his eyes wearily, "That's - that's incredible - "

"No," Louis cuts him off sharply, "No Li, absolutely not. You'll have to pretend with him, because you can't fucking tell him not to follow his dreams but - Not with me, Li. You tell me the truth."

Liam's eyes fill with tears.

"Fuck," he says again, but this time it's broken, "Fuck, Louis I - "

"I'm sorry," Louis crosses the room to embrace him roughly, hand gripping at the back of his neck, "I'm so sorry, Li. I thought it would work out, I really did - "

"I would have fallen for him anyway," Liam mumbles, clenching his eyes shut. He will not cry, damn it, "I would have, Lou, he's - "

"Special," Louis whispers, "I know. It'll pass. It'll - Fuck. I love you so much."

"Love you too," Liam mumbles, holding on tighter. It'll pass, he thinks desperately. It will.

Zayn leaves in a flurry of goodbyes and encouraging smiles and through it all Liam clings to that first day he'd heard Zayn sing, the first time he thought that this boy deserved to have it all. He won't get in the way of that, he promises himself. No matter what.

Zayn tells them he can get a taxi but Mack pouts until Liam agrees to drive them all to the airport so they can give him a proper send off. They wait for him to check in and help him find his gate and idle in front of the security line until he only has half an hour before his flight and has to board. And even then, Mack refuses to let go, wraps arms around him in a vice grip until Zayn shrugs off his leather jacket and wraps it around her, pressing a kiss to her forehead.

"I'll be back before you know it," he chides her softly, tucking her hair behind her ear, "You be good for your Daddy, you hear?"

She nods.

"I'm always good," she manages to sniff indignantly, reaching for Liam's hand. Liam squeezes gently.

"You are," he assures her softly, "Go on," he tells Zayn, before I stop you myself.

Zayn smiles a little helplessly at him and Liam can't resist, he tugs the other boy in for a one armed hug.

"Good luck," he whispers.

"Not like he'll need it," Niall says, coming up and slipping an arm around Liam's shoulders when Zayn pulls away.

"Thanks," Zayn says, eyes bright, 'For everything, I'm serious. I - "

"Shut up," Harry interrupts him fondly, "I'm serious. Now go on, really. You'll miss your flight."

With one last nod, Zayn turns, each retreating footstep along the harsh airport tiles another beat in the beginning of the end.

And just like that, Liam's life goes back to as it was, normal and steady and Zayn-less. He forces himself to find his old routine again: he takes care of Mack and his mum, works diligently with his revision, and retreats into the comfort of Niall's and Harry's and Louis' company once more. They welcome him back without question, don't say anything when he seems to cling to them, pulling him into the middle of them and pressing skin and warmth to his raw nerves.

And when even that's not enough, he takes off on his bike, reckless and impulsive in a way he hasn't been since Mack was born. He pushes himself until he can't hear anything but the protests of his muscles, speeding uphill and taking turns sharp.

On the third day since Zayn's left, he rides far out, focus narrowing to the steady rhythm of his pedaling and the wind whistling in his ears, cutting out anything that may remind him of Zayn, remind him of what he's lost. He bikes for miles, mind going blissfully blank, eyes trained straight ahead, numb to his surroundings other than the paved road ahead of him.

He only looks around when he hears the calls of other bikes and it's only then that he realizes he's crossed to the East Side, houses low and crumbling around him, streets littered with beer bottles and old cigarettes. One glance behind him tells him he's picked up a tail and with a muttered curse and flash of fear he forces himself to ride faster, turning two sharp corners and making the desperate retreat back to the West Side. They're shouting out names and threats but Liam doesn't pay them any mind, adrenaline replacing their voices with the thundering of blood through his body.

It's only when he's safely in the confines of his own neighborhood does he glance back to make sure they haven't followed him out and it's on his exhale of relief that he crashes, bike skidding out of control against some rocks and sending Liam to the pavement.

The shock of it has him bursting into laughter, even as the blood runs down his knees and his hands sting.

"I'm an idiot," he tells himself out loud, voice rising when he feels the liberation at the admittance, "I'm an idiot."

He collapses his weight against the ground, wincing at the pull of the burn in his knees when he folds them.

"I'm an idiot for falling for him and I'm an idiot for hoping he might fall for me enough to stay," his voice breaks around the word and he presses his palms into his eyeballs for a minute, allows himself to feel miserable and sad and heartbroken.

"He's leaving," Liam whispers, "He's leaving and I'm not even allowed to be angry with him."

After awhile he picks himself back up. He wipes as much dirt as he can off his ruined jeans and picks the gravel out of the microcuts on his hand and then begins to walk his bike back home. Thankfully he's only a few blocks away because he's been reduced to a limp by his still bleeding knees, breath coming shallowly by the time he reaches their driveway.

He lets his bike fall to the ground with a clatter, too exhausted to examine it for damage, and makes his way into a quiet house. All the lights are off and everyone seems to be asleep and Liam is grateful. He searches for his mother's first aid kit in the dark, cursing under his breath when he stubs his toe against one of Mack's toys.

"Where have you been?" asks a quiet voice behind him. Liam's heart races for a moment before he can manage to relax. He turns slowly. Niall is standing there in a faint light, arms crossed in front of him.

"Riding," Liam says shortly, not in the mood for a lecture. He fumbles with the antibacterial wipes for a minute. Niall snorts skeptically.

"You've bloodied up your knees and ruined a pair of perfectly good jeans," Niall says, "Here, let me." He steps closer to bat Liam's hand away impatiently. With one hand he unbuttons and unzips Liam's jeans, helps him out of them slowly. Liam bites back a groan of pain, head falling dejectedly to Niall's shoulder.

"C'mon," Niall says, voice slowing to a gentle lull, He helps Liam to sit and then kneels next to him, wipes slowly at his cuts, murmuring apologizes when Liam squirms.

"Ended up on the East Side. Some kids chased me out," Liam whispers finally, bracing himself for a scolding. When Niall remains silent, he continues, "I wasn't paying attention," he tells Niall pleadingly, "I just. I wanted to. Not think. I don't know. I wanted to get away from it and - "

Niall looks up at him and Liam's words die in his throat. He can't make out Niall's face but he's sure he knows the disappointment there.

Without a word, Niall resumes his work, cleaning and dressing his knees with steady, calloused hands and wiping away the excess blood. When he's done, he stands, and helps Liam to his feet.

"Niall - " Liam begs, "I - "

"Mack's stayed up to wait for you, in your room. She wants to show you something."

Liam raises an eyebrow, but before he can open his mouth Niall squeezes his arm harshly.

"You could have been seriously hurt," he blurts out frustratedly, "You could have been. They carry knives and sometimes guns and when the sun goes down - "

"I'm sorry," Liam tells him quietly, "I'm sorry Ni - "

Niall shakes his head.

"Mack's waiting for you," he repeats, helping him to his room, "I'm going to bed. Goodnight, Li." He hesitates and then presses a swift kiss to Liam's temple, "I love you."

Mack is sitting on the floor of his bedroom, crosslegged and leaning over a piece of paper with a crayon in her hand and her face shrouded in curls. She's wearing Zayn's leather jacket like a dress, sleeves rolled up to her forearms.

She looks up when Liam enters, curls bouncing back to reveal concern in her eyes.

"Where are your trousers?" she asks him, "What happened to your knees Daddy?"

Liam waves away the questions, tugs on a pair of pajamas quickly.

"S'nothing baby," he sits next to her, biting his lip against a grimace, and kisses her forehead, "Fell off my bike, that's all. What are you working on?"

She leans back to reveal her drawing, and Liam swallows hard, closes his eyes briefly, because what she's drawn is unmistakably a family portrait, three small figures holding hands and smiling brightly.

"You love him, don't you?" she asks him quietly, seriously, "Like Uncle Louis loves Uncle Harry?"

"Mack - " Liam says helplessly, caught in her knowing gaze.

"You're sad. You're sad just like Uncle Louis was when Uncle Haz left," her lower lip trembles, "Don't be sad, Daddy," she pleads, "He's coming back - "

"Oh Mack," Liam breathes, and he can't bring himself to lie to her, "He's not coming back, baby, I'm sorry - "

"He is," she protests stubbornly, "He's coming back on Sunday, he told me - "

"You're right," Liam soothes, "You're right. He's coming back on Sunday. But. You know how he makes music right?" he asks her gently, waiting until she nods slowly, "He's going to live in New York because there are people there who can help him out. Help him get his music out there for other people to listen to. You want that for him, don't you?"

"No," she says defiantly, shaking her head furiously, "No he has to come back, Daddy. He - "

"Come here," he tells his, forcing his voice not to waver. He opens his arms and she crawls into him, folding her knees on his lap and resting her head against his chest. "He makes beautiful music, you said so yourself, didn't you? Other people should get to listen to his music, don't you think? That's his dream, Mack. We can't stop him from living his dream, baby girl. Not if we love him properly."

He feels her fists clench in his sweaty old tee, and he wraps his arms tight around her, presses a kiss to the top of her head.

"Okay," she mumbles finally, "But I don't like it."

He huffs a laugh into her hair despite himself.

"Me neither, baby, me neither."

Zayn's flight lands in the early evening and he calls ahead to let them know he's getting a cab, and this time Mack doesn't protest. She's abandoned his leather jacket and the Spiderman doll lies carelessly on her floor and Liam is almost afraid she'll cross out his signature on her wall if he's not careful.

Louis, Harry and Niall don't say anything but Liam knows he's being watched carefully, too. Since the incident on the bike they've hardly left his side, and never all at once and Liam wants to point out that he's not like, going to do anything stupid, but he's secretly grateful for it. At least it's some kind of distraction.

On the day Zayn's supposed to arrive, Karen bakes a pie and Harry whips out a few of his favorite recipes and Louis and Niall tackle Liam onto the couch and put on Spiderman for Mack and they make it their mission to watch all three movies, stopping only for bathroom breaks and to taste test for Harry. And Liam almost forgets, with Niall's head pillowed in his lap and Mack tucked into his side, Louis leaning against his legs on the floor, itchily hot and wonderfully slow.

But when the doorbell rings, he stiffens, feels everyone around him go silent.

"I'll get it," he mumbles, extracting himself carefully from the pile of tangled limbs. No one says anything and Mack doesn't follow him and he forces himself to take a breath, bracing himself for an assault of shy smiles and wide eager eyes.

Zayn doesn't disappoint. He stands at the door with his duffel and his guitar at his feet and his hands shoved into his pockets.

"Hi," he says, eyes crinkling at the corners, "God, I've missed you."

Liam wants to kiss him. Instead he pulls him into a hug, breathes in a scent that is indisputably Zayn.

"I've missed you," he whispers into Zayn's neck. Zayn laughs breathlessly.

"Sorry," he pulls away a little, "Tickles," he claims, but his eyes are slightly glazed and he takes another step back for good measure, clears his throat. "Sorry," he says again, ducking his head.

Liam blushes, looks at his feet.

"Where's um. Where's Mack?" Zayn asks then, craning his head to look behind Liam. Liam winces.

"Um," he stands aside to let Zayn in, grabbing his duffel and earning an appreciative smile, "She's here. Sorry, just. Come in."

"Hi Zayn," both Niall and Louis chorus when Liam and Zayn reenter the room.

"Good to have you back," Niall says warmly, getting up to give him a quick hug. Louis nods briefly but doesn't move. He's not looking at Zayn, as if seeing him will melt the resolve Louis' made to stay cold with him. Liam thinks he has the right idea: the more he watches Zayn, the more he wants to touch and taste and -

He shuts that thought down fast enough.

"Thanks," Zayn is mumbling. "Hi Mack," he says tentatively. She's not looking at him, shoulders hunched, her ringlets of curls falling over her face in a disarray.

"Hi," she mutters.

"Mack," Liam scolds a little desperately: beside him, Zayn's face has fallen. But she only looks up to glare at him.

"I'm going to my room," she says, getting up off the couch.

"Mack, dinner's going to be ready in - "

"I'm not hungry," she interrupts firmly, pushing past them both. A moment later they hear the door slam.

"I'm sorry," Liam says helplessly to Zayn. He's fishing about for some excuse for her behavior when Niall comes to his rescue.

"She's just stroppy because we didn't get to finish the last movie. She'll come round, she just needs her space," he places a comforting hand around the back of Zayn's neck. "Tell me about New York and those snotty producers. Did they live up to the hype?"

"They had nothing on you," Zayn assures him earnestly, "Honest. Awful taste and everything."

"Oh, stop," Niall protests with an embarrassed wave of his hand, but Liam can tell he's pleased.

"And our music?" Louis asks. He's already losing the battle to stay angry, warming almost instinctively to Zayn. His eyes are bright with curiosity and he lets Zayn help him to his feet and then fists a hand in his collar, "I hope we weren't too shabby?"

"Not at all," Zayn protests, looking scandalized by the thought. He turns to Liam, almost bouncing on the balls of his feet, "They said your piano playing was some of the best they'd ever heard," he ducks his head a little, suddenly shy, "Told them you inspired me and that I wouldn't play with anyone else."

Liam blushes, huffing out a laugh when Niall kisses his ear.

"C'mon," he mumbles embarrassedly, "You must be hungry. And Harry's been cooking all day."

Niall groans.

"He made his famous meatballs didn't he? God I could kiss him," he says appreciatively.

"Hey," Louis says indignantly, gripping the other boy in a headlock, "Watch what you say, Horan."

They wrestle each other into the kitchen, leaving behind a Zayn who looks dazed, smile crooked with disbelief. Liam catches his arm before he can leave, startling him.

"I'm so proud of you," he whispers fervently. Zayn's face splits into a beautiful smile, eyes crinkling around the corners and tongue pressed behind his teeth. He twists his arm so that his hand finds Liam's, lacing their fingers together and holding on tight.

"Couldn't have done it without you, Li, any of it," he says feelingly, "I just wish I knew a way to repay you."

"Fixed my watch didn't you?" Liam jokes. Zayn doesn't laugh though, just traces the watch around Liam's wrist with his thumb and then dips down to trace Liam's finger where they're still entangled.

Liam sucks in a breath at the touch and Zayn's eyes fall to his lips. The living room fades around them as Liam leans in, helpless to the assault, and he's counting Zayn's eyelashes against cheeks when Zayn pulls away abruptly.

"I'm sorry," he mumbles, pulling his hand out of Liam's grasp and moving out of Liam's space, "You're. I just. I can't help it," he says, hands falling helplessly to his sides. He doesn't look at Liam. "You must think I'm - "

"Really hungry?" Liam interrupts. Zayn's head snaps up to look at him and Liam smiles a small smile at him. They're stuck, is the thing. Zayn's leaving and Liam has a kid and maybe Zayn started it, but Liam wanted to finish it. It is what it is, he thinks. And at the end of the day, no matter how much pain Zayn will cause him, no matter how much he'll want to run away from it, he wouldn't trade the time they had together for anything. He puts a hand on Zayn's shoulder, smile growing, "Me too. Let's go."

After Karen has pressed a warm kiss to Zayn's cheek and Harry's pulled him into a clumsy hug, they sit down for dinner without Mack. Niall has more questions for Zayn about the New York scene and when he's distracted, Louis turns to Liam.

"Alright?" he whispers. Liam nods.

"Can't help it," he says with a small smile, "Special, isn't he?"

Louis frowns a little, clears his throat. On his other side, Harry rests a hand on his knee.

"So," Louis begins. Niall and Zayn quiet to look at him. "What are the details of your contract then?"

"My - my contract?" Zayn asks, confusion evident.

"Tommo - " Liam warns quietly, but Louis ignores him.

"They loved you, didn't they? They want to sign you don't they?" Louis' voice is not unkind but there's no mistaking the implication he's making. Zayn looks from Liam to Louis.

"Yeah," he admits slowly, "Yeah, they do."

"So. You're going to leave us," Louis says flatly.

"Louis," Harry chides at the same time Karen says, "That's enough, Lou."

She shoots an apologetic glance at Zayn.

"Let the poor boy eat. Then he can answer to your accusations," she says sternly.

"I'm not accusing him," Louis says defensively, "I'm just - "

But Harry holds up a hand to silence him.

"We're happy for you," he says gently to Zayn, "We're so happy for you."

"I - " Zayn starts, but there's a small sniffle from the doorway and they all turn to find Mack there. In her hands she clutches Zayn's leather jacket.

"Don't go," she says in a small voice, lower lip trembling.

"Mack - " Liam warns, but Mack is shaking her head, walking around the table to Zayn. She presses the jacket into his arms.

"Don't go," she repeats, "Please? Daddy was really sad the entire time you were gone. You don't want him to be sad, do you? You love him too, don't you?"

Two tears run down her face and Zayn brushes them away carefully. Liam swallows.

"Zayn," he breathes out, "Zayn, I'm so sorry - "

Zayn doesn't turn to look at him.

"Is that why you're upset with me?" he asks Mack softly, "Because you think I'm leaving?"

Hesitantly, she nods.

"Don't want you to go," she mumbles.

"C'mere," Zayn says, pulling her small form into him and wrapping his arms around her. "M'not going anywhere, Mack. M'not leaving. Told you I wouldn't, didn't I? M'right here."

There is pin drop silence around the table, except for the way Liam's heart beats in his ear, fast and anxious. Louis finds his hand underneath the table and Liam holds on tightly.

After a moment, Zayn pulls back.

"Is that ok? Is that better? I'm not leaving, Mack, ok?" he looks up at the rest of the table, "Does anyone else have any other questions?" he asks. Liam looks down at his lap. He has a lot of questions, but he doesn't want to upset Mack further.

When Zayn's met with silence, he looks back at Mack.

"Can we be friends again?" he asks her. She smiles crookedly and then suddenly tugs him down by his collar to whisper something in his ear. Zayn's eyes widen and he huffs a surprised laugh, the tips of his ears going red.

"Mack," he says incredulously, but Mack is looking up at him determinedly. Zayn glances briefly at Liam before bopping her on the nose, "That's too low," he complains teasingly, "How about five?"

"Two," Mack insists stubbornly.

"Three," Zayn counters, eyes dancing with mirth now. She studies him suspiciously and then finally nods.

"Deal," she says, reaching out a hand. They shake on it and then look up to find the table staring at them. Liam is a mess of confusion and embarrassment and stupid hope stealing the color from his cheeks.

"Would it be alright if your daddy and I talked for a minute?" Zayn asks gently. As soon as Mack nods, Liam stands abruptly and leaves the dining room, slamming the front door behind him as he retreats outside.

After a moment he hears the front door reopen and then close again. He doesn't turn.

"Liam - " Zayn calls softly. Liam ignores him, shoulders tense. In Liam's silence, Zayn goes on, fondness dipping into his voice, "I'm staying, Li, I always was," he tells him gently. Liam shakes his head furiously. Zayn can't stay. Not for Liam. He has to follow his dreams -

Zayn wraps arms around his waist from behind. Liam tries to remain rigid in his embrace but he can already feel his body betraying him.

"My father still needs help and I might as well finish my degree and. They told me I could record here when I needed to and spend some time writing songs for other people even and I thought maybe, when the time was right, I could move to New York, and I could take you with me - "

Liam turns in his arms and kisses him before he can get another word out, strong hands cupping his face so he can tilt Zayn's head, deepen the kiss.

"I don't want to be the one to hold you back, I don't want to - " Liam says desperately, tucking the words into Zayn's mouth on his tongue, pressing their hips together.

Zayn groans.

"How could you even - fuck," Liam's fingers have slipped under his tee to drag along his skin and Zayn's hips stutter, "You inspire me Li, how could you - "

"Want you to be happy," Liam pants, "Want you to follow your dreams."

Zayn nibbles at his bottom lip, licks up his moan.

"People can have more than one dream, Li," he says, kissing him one last time before pulling back slightly to steeple their foreheads together and look him in the eye. "Want to watch Mack grow up, Liam. Want to be with you. If you'll have me."

Liam closes his eyes against traitorous tears, trembling as Zayn presses a kiss to his forehead.

"I don't know what to say," he mumbles finally, hands fisted tightly in Zayn's shirt to keep him close.

"Say yes," Zayn coaxes softly, "Say yes, Li, please - "

"You're staying," Liam tests the words in his mouth, opens his eyes to see Zayn's smiling at him, eyes bright with his own tears.

"I'm staying," he laughs a little, voice wet, "And I'm not going anywhere without you. Trust me."

Liam kisses him, a chaste kiss that Zayn turns dirty with his tongue, arching into Liam and tilting his head to let Liam in. Liam responds by running strong piano fingers along the ridge of his spine, groaning when Zayn goes pliant against him on a whimper.

"Want you. Fuck," Zayn says shakily. He pulls away a little, breath coming hard, and Liam has never been with someone as responsive as him, desire like electricity under Liam's fingertips where they brush against his skin, "You can't. You can't touch me like that I'll - "

Liam ignores him, placing a hand on his neck to pull him closer and dipping his thumb under Zayn's shirt to trace his collar bone.

Zayn shudders, eyes going glassy.

"Fuck," Liam mutters. He knows they can't continue this out here and he feels bad about leaving Zayn hard in his jeans, but it still takes him a long moment to gather himself enough to pull away from the beautiful boy on his doorstep, "Sorry," Liam mumbles, watching shamelessly as Zayn adjusts himself in his trousers.

"S'okay," Zayn shrugs, smiling a rueful smile that makes him look so young. Then his eyes turn serious and he's aged again, "I know what I'm signing up for."

Liam smiles a little.

"I know," he says softly, laughing when Zayn grins triumphantly.

"Told you I'd fix it," Zayn says smugly. Liam goes to kiss the expression off his face but at the last second Zayn hangs back, nosing at him so their lips only ghost against each other. Liam makes a noise of protest in his throat but Zayn doesn't move, "Gotta hold out, s'our last kiss of the day," he murmurs, eyes half lidded.

Liam pulls away in surprise.

"What?"

"Mack," Zayn explains with a twinkle in his eye, "Says we're only allowed three a day."

Liam stares at him in confusion until the conversation from earlier at dinner dawns at him, and then he covers his face with one hand.

"Oh my god," he mumbles. Zayn chuckles.

"Smart kid," he remarks, running a hand through Liam's hair.

"Yeah, too smart," Liam says, but he's smiling, "What she doesn't know won't hurt her," he says, leaning forward to kiss Zayn once more.

"But I just got my dick to behave," Zayn whines, letting Liam kiss him briefly before pushing him away with a slight hand against his chest.

"Fine," Liam grumbles playfully, "I guess we should rejoin the others."

"Assure them you haven't strangled me," Zayn teases. Liam rolls his eyes - and then he smirks.

"You look thoroughly kissed," he comments casually, "It's a good look on you."

Zayn eyes widen in surprise and then he huffs indignantly. It's adorable.

"Who's fault is that," he mutters.

"Mine," Liam says gently, kissing the corner of his scowl and watching it give way to a smile.

"Yours," Zayn agrees softly, "Yours."

Before they step into the dining room, Liam takes Zayn's hand. Zayn shoots him a concerned look but Liam shrugs.

"They already know," he says softly, "Mack already knows. Cornered me about it while you were away."

The wrinkles in Zayn's brow smooth out and Liam darts forward to press a quick kiss there.

"Thank you," he murmurs sincerely.

"For what?"

"For fixing it," Liam answers simply.

Mack takes one look at the two of them and groans, palming her forehead with one hand and sending her curls dancing.

"Are you two gonna be as gross as Uncle Louis and Uncle Haz now?" she asks with an exasperation that looks comical on her young features.

Zayn grins, picking her up off his chair, and resettling her on his lap.

"Nah," he kisses her nose, "Now there'll just be two of us to eat you up."

Mack shrieks and giggles and the rest of the table laughs too. When Liam glances at his mum he finds her smiling, tears showing bright in her eyes. She nods once, happiness making her radiant. Liam moves to kiss the top of her head and wrap his arms around her shoulders.

"Thanks Mum," he whispers. She just shakes her head.

"Sit," she orders, "Dinner's getting cold."

Liam takes his place next to Zayn, leaning forward to kiss Mack on the cheek.

"Told you you shouldn't scare him away," she tells Liam importantly. She and Zayn share a commiserating giggle and Liam sticks his tongue out at the both of them.

"I'm in trouble, aren't I?" he asks Louis. Louis's holding Harry's hand on the table, white-knuckled. Harry seems to be struggling to keep a straight face.

"Thank god," is all Louis says, slumping back in his seat.

"We were all rooting for you," Niall explains cheerily to Zayn, in between bites of meatballs. He waves his fork in Zayn's direction, "But if you hurt him, we'll cut your tongue out and stick it up your - "

"Niall," Karen scolds, glaring at him.

"Sorry," he grins angelically at her, "Excellent nosh by the way, Karen. And really looking forward to the pie. You know how I love your pies - "

"Hush," she says, grinning back at him. When she turns to Zayn her smile softens, and she reaches across the table to take his hand in hers, "Welcome to the family."

epilogue
Liam comes into the living room to find his two favorite people hard at work. They're both sitting cross-legged on the floor, Mack with a frown of concentration, occasionally blowing back a stray curl, eyes trained on Zayn's fingers on his guitar. Zayn is warm, relaxed in a way Liam loves, limbs loose, mouth open in a smile. He plays slowly, patiently, murmuring encouragements under his breath as he watches Mack play.

And he looks unbelievably sexy in Liam's old shirt, collar hanging loose around his neck and revealing skin that Liam wants to lick.

"Isn't it your bed time, baby girl?" he asks Mack, fighting to hide his impatience. Zayn's been in New York all week doing promo, ok? Liam's allowed. She glares when she notices him.

"Ten more minutes," she demands, eyes slipping back to Zayn almost instantly.

"Yeah, ten more minutes?" Zayn grins, eyes soft. Liam relents, of course he does, moves into the room to lay out on the couch and shut his eyes.

Fifteen minutes pass before the music stops.

"I'm impressed Mack, you've been practicing," Zayn says approvingly. "C'mon now, bed for you."

Liam cracks an eye open but Zayn waves a hand at him.

"I'll take her," he says, scooping her up. She's too old for that now, and she throws a fit with Liam tries it, but she doesn't protest now. Zayn is clearly her new favorite. Only because he spoils her rotten, Liam thinks, disgruntled.

"Say goodnight to Daddy, Mack," Zayn whispers. Liam opens his eyes to find Zayn holding her over him, and he raises up so she can press a kiss to his cheek.

"Goodnight to Daddy," she says obediently, giggling a little when Liam pouts. "I love you."

"I love you, Angel. Goodnight."

"Silly girl," Zayn murmurs, taking her down the hall, humming under his breath as he goes.

By the time he comes back Liam is half asleep, but he perks up when he feels a weight settle on top of him.

"Hi," he says, smiling up at Zayn. He reaches up to run a thumb along Zayn's exposed collar bone, "You're beautiful."

He watches as Zayn's eyes visibly darken.

"Bed," he groans, shoving a little at Zayn to get him to move.

They make their way to Liam's bedroom as quietly as they can, and as soon as the bedroom door shuts, Liam is on him, pressing his small frame against the door and kissing him soundly.

"Finally," he moans, biting at the junction of Zayn's neck and shoulder like he's wanted to all night, "Haven't seen you in days and you'd rather teach Mack guitar than - " he cuts off on a groan as Zayn works his hands under Liam's shirt to thumb at his nipple, "Fuck."

"You promised you'd share me," Zayn teases even he as goes to unbutton his own trousers. He's already hard and straining against the tight material. Liam bats his hand away.

"Let me," he growls, tugging off the button forcefully. Zayn huffs out a desperate laugh, canting his hips towards Liam's hands.

"What a gentleman," he manages, eyes hooded. He's fucking gorgeous like this, arched off the wall like he's drawn to Liam, small under Liam's hands but strong in the way his muscles flex underneath him, pushing as much as Liam pulls. Liam takes a deep breath, tries to focus.

"Yeah well, she's hogging you," he mutters, pulling Zayn's trousers down and then reaching for his shirt. "And you're wearing my clothes, you fucking tease."

"Packed a suitcase full of your clothes," Zayn tells him, yanking off Liam's t-shirt and pulling down Liam's sweats in one smooth motion, "Take you with me everywhere, don't I?'

Liam's heart swells three sizes and he has to pause for the overwhelming emotions that course through him, cupping Zayn's hands to still them on his hips.

"Liam? Something wrong?" Zayn asks, eyes searching his a little anxiously. Liam breathes out a rush of air, caught in Zayn's gaze.

"I love you," he says, voice thick. The corner of Zayn's mouth crooks up.

"C'mere," he murmurs soothingly, even though Liam is already pressed against him. He kisses Liam chastely, one hand tangled in the hair at the nape of Liam's neck, and one hand a firm pressure at Liam's waist. Liam trembles a little at the sweetness of it, love and trust and steadiness tucked into the gentle press of lips. "Alright?" Zayn asks, running a hand along the bare skin of his back. Liam nods, even though his body continues to shake.

"I'm sorry," he mumbles, feeling silly.

"Shh," Zayn chides, "C'mon, bed," he says, in the same voice he uses on Mack.

Liam frowns as Zayn slips his boxers back on and grabs his shirt from the floor.

"I wanted to - " Liam starts to protest but Zayn shakes his head.

"Some other time," Zayn says gently, "Want you to hold me, is that alright?"

Liam nods a little, taking the shirt Zayn passes him and adjusting his sweats. He lets Zayn lead him to bed, settles down on his back as Zayn turns off the light and downs a glass of water Liam keeps at his bedside for him.

Then he slips into bed beside Liam, settling his head on Liam's shoulder and wrapping an arm around Liam's hips, fingers searching for skin. Liam huffs a laugh, knowing that Zayn's done it on purpose to tickle him. His arm comes down to wrap tightly around Zayn and he tips his head down to press a kiss to Zayn's forehead.

"Thanks," he says.

Zayn doesn't answer, just traces and retraces the face of Liam's watch slowly, a habit he can't seem to kick.

"Will you sing something for me?" Liam asks. Zayn tilts his head up to try and make out his face. Liam doesn't ask for this often, but sometimes he craves the quiet hush of Zayn's voice, whispered notes in his ear.

"Kiss me," Zayn says softly. Liam complies, leaning down to meet Zayn's lips. After a chaste kiss, Zayn breathes out. "I don't know you, but I want to," he sings into the fraction of space between them.

Liam's eyes flutter shut as Zayn continues.

Fate, he thinks to himself. Fate and beautiful music.