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REVISION
At first I was afraid, I was petrified!
Kept thinking I could never pass without revision guides,
But then I spent so many nights, getting all the questions
wrong,
And I grew strong, And I learned how to scrape along,
I won't look back, to any place,
When I can swallow 15 shots and get completely off my face,
I would have spent all day at work,
I would have had no spare time free,
If I'd thought for just one second my exams would bother me,
So all my notes, are on the floor,
Don't even matter... that there's no Comedy night
anymore...
Weren't you the one who tried
to get me to revise?
You think I'd crumble?
You think I'd work
towards the skies?
Oh no, not I! I won't revise!
Unless I die from alcohol, I know I'll stay alive,
Though my money's at an end, I've my overdraft to spend,
I won't revise, I won't revise!!
It took all the strength I had, not to act the part,
But in the end my real revision didn't even start.
I used to sit at home at night, feeling guilty to myself,
I used to try, But now hold my head up high,
And you see me! Somebody new!
I'm not that mixed up weird person who wants a good
2:2
So if you feel like dropping in, chances are that I'll be free,
Coz I've done fuck all revision, and I'm
failing my degree,
Oh no, not I! I won't revise,
I think that I
may scrape a third, but I could be telling lies!
Let the lecturers all scorn,
My bed's far too nice and warm,
I won't revise, I won't revise,
TOP 10 REASONS THAT UNIVERSITY IS LIKE PRESCHOOL
10. You cry for your mother.
9. You cross the street without looking for cars.
8. Snack time is a necessity.
7. You bundle up for the outdoors without caring what you look like because everyone else looks as stupid as you do).
6. You stay at home and play games with your friends.
5. You wear your backpack on both shoulders.
4. You wear big mittens.
3. Playing in the snow is a legitimate activity.
2. You take naps.
1. You look forward to cheese toasties.
YOU KNOW YOU'VE BEEN IN UNIVERSITY TOO LONG WHEN...
You actually like doing laundry at home where the washing machines work.
Two miles is not too far to walk for a party.
You'd rather clean than study especially if an essay is due.
"Oh shit how did it get so late!" comes out of your mouth at least once a night.
Parents' cookingbecome something you desire, not avoid.
You schedule your classes around sleep habits and soap operas especially neighbours and Diagnosis Murder.
You know the pizza boy by name and don't even need to read the menu.
You go to sleep when it's light and get up when it's dark.
You live for getting mail.
Looking out the window is a form of entertainment.
Prank phone calls become funny again.
You start thinking and sounding like your friends and your accent becomes a hybrid of West Country, Surrey and general Northern.
Highlighters are the coolest things on earth.
Rearranging your room is your favorite pastime.
Rubbish cheap £1 shops are so cool.
The weekend lasts from Thursday to Monday.
BEFORE I CAME TO UNIVERSITY, I WISH I HAD KNOWN...
That it didn't matter how my first lecture was, I'd still sleep through it.
That I could change so much and barely realize it.
That you can love a lot of people in a lot of different ways.
No matter how 'cool' you were in school, no one here cares.
That if you wear polyester everyone will ask why you are so dressed up
That every clock on campus shows a different time.
That if you got good a-levels, so what? It doesn't matter here.
That I would go to a party the night before an exam or essay due-date.
That Chem Labs/Architecture studios take up more time than all my other classes put together.
That you can know everything and fail a test.
That you can know nothing and ace a test.
That I could get used to almost anything found out about my friends.
That most of my education would be obtained outside of lectures.
That friendship is more than getting drunk together but that's still funny......!
That Sunday is a figment of the world's imagination
That my parents would become so much smarter in the last few years.
That it's possible to be alone even when you are surrounded by friends.
Children of the 80's
Hello children of the 80's. Read this, it will take you back but
be careful cause it will also make you realise that you are now actually OLD!!
You knew all the words to Captain Planet!
Remember Tony Heart's "Heartbeat"?
What about those rubber popper thingies that flew off the palm of your hand?
The Never Ending Story........ahhhhhh ahhhhhh ahhhhh"
Snap bracelets were always getting you in trouble at school
Um Bongo, Um Bongo, They drink it in the Congo
You played with "My LittlePonies."
Friendship bracelets were ties that couldn't be broken.
You ever read Nancy Drew, The Hardy Boys, The Baby-sitters Club,Forever orSweet Valley High.
You know all the words to 'Ice Ice Baby'
You wanted to be on "Jim'll Fix It".
You can remember what Michael Jackson looked like before he had plastic surgery.
You wore one of those slap-on wristbands at some point...or heavenforbid one of those T-shirts that changed colour with heat.
You had slouch socks and puff painted your own shirt at leastonce.
You know the profound meaning of "Wax on, Wax off".
You were upset when She-ra, Princess of Power and He-Man got axed.
You can remember watching Saved by the Bell
You remember Madonna in her cone stage.
You knew "The Artust" when he was humbly called "Prince"
You even wore fluorescent-neon clothing... (if you cancall it clothing!)
Not only did you wear fluorescent-neon clothing, but they were mismatched with fingerless gloves and towelling socks.
You could break dance (ok, you wished!)
You remember when Amiga was a state of the art video game system.
You remember M.C. Hammer.
You can still sing the rap to "Fresh Prince of Bel Air"....
You can remember when it was Jazzy Jeff and The fresh Prince and NOT just plain Will Smith!
You owned cassettes.
You carried your lunch to school in a Gremlins, ALF or ET lunchbox.
You pondered on why Smurfette was the ONLY female smurf.
My Little Pony, Gummy Bears and Transformers are familiar to you.
You had a Swatch Watch.
You believed that "By the power of Greyskull, you HAD the power!"
You spent hours in the basement building and re- building Lego cities
Big wheels and BMX's were the way to go.
With your pink (or blue) portable tape player, you sang to Kylie and Jason!
If you ever owned Polly Pocket or Micro Machines
If you ever made Ken fall in love with Barbie.
You know what " Psyche" means.
Partying "like it's 1999" seemed SO far away.
You knew that Transformers were "more than meets the eye".
You wore a banana clip at some point during your youth.
You actually thought "Dirty Dancing" was a REALLY good film.
You were led to believe that in the year 2000 we'd all be living in space.
You know what leg warmers are and probably had a pair.
You wore biker shorts underneath a short skirt and felt stylish.
You had to change into play clothes after school.
You recorded songs off the radio with your boom box.
Somehow you still know all the words to songs played on VH1's "Big 80s"
Your arm was full of rubber bracelets.
You can still sing 1 to 12 from the Pinball machine song on Sesame Street.
You wore those wide, colourful shoelaces.
You still don't like going in the sea because of Jaws.
You remember Now compilations that had the pig on the front cover.
You never questioned why the A-Team were always imprisoned in places that had sufficient tools to build an armoured tank.
Dungeons & Dragons was your favourite programme.
You fell out with friends during heated arguments about the relative merits of Matt & Luke.
Cerise pink, electric blue and banana yellow have featured in your wardrobe
You still remember when the A-ha video was the pinnacle of modern technology and you can still sing all the words.
Your best party dress was either a ra-ra or puff-ball skirt.
It wasn't odd to have two or three "best" friends.
You didn't sleep a wink on Christmas Eve.
You remember when 25p was decent pocket money and you'd reach into a muddy gutter for 10p.
Important decisions were made by going "eeny-meeny-miney-mo."