oh so amazing.
i'm so happy.
happier than i've been
in like
a super long time.
i mean
its crazy
and
all of these feelings
they're just all over
the emotions
its insane
but they're just
ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
i love it
:)

<3<3

p.s. is it crazy to know who you want to spend the rest of your life with at 15?

i don't know
today jay's acting really funny
i don't know what's wrong
he won't tell me
he said its not me
but i don't think that helps
because lately it has been me
i just wish i could help
i try and it always ends up bad
i guess i'll just let him figure it out on his own
because i don't think he wants me to help
or worry
for that matter

dude.
i can't ever be at the top for more than like twelve hours.
this sucks.

( bye bye beautiful.. )

well, as usual i went up the rollercoaster of emotions.
i'm at the top right now.
hopefully the ride decides to stop for a very long time.
( Read more... )

its amazing how you can go from top of the world to hell so fast.

things are so amazing right now. they are so much better. this week started off so shitty. and now i don't know..its just too good to be true (major cliche..hah). but it is the absolute truth. jay is such a doll. like really. i think he's the first guy i've ever liked like this. he makes everything so fun. i feel so perfect when i'm with him. ( Read more... )

ah..serious stupid fucking shit went down. its retarded on my part. i should have never even gone. now i'm paying the fucking consequences. i'm living with hurting people i love. what the hell was i thinking. ah. this so sucks. i'm so stressed and i can't handle it. i don't want to live like this..feeling so guilty even though i've already ( Read more... )

i don't know why i always feel like the reason jay and i can't hang out much anymore is my fault. it pisses me off to no end. it just sucks. well..enough complaining. slept at jessi's last night with kayla. it was a blast. we all put icy hot on. it smelled hardcore. haha. yeah. woke up. dropped michaela off and basketball then went and got mcdonald ( Read more... )

ah. well..today started out pretty good. i woke up. then i just sat around which was nice. then michaela left a message on my computer so i gave her a call and i went over there. we went to lake antoine for a bit then we started walking back to her house. we saw miss ducat riding her bike. we talked to her for a while. then we continued our walk ( Read more... )