Chaos is a beautiful and my Seung-ri has a beautiful mind
Title: Chaos Theory
Main: Seung-ri
Summary: Evolution, dogs and Lee Seung-ri. Big Bang in the scientific sense.
Word count: 1483
Warnings: Physics and math
A/N: It’s hard to watch Sheldon Cooper and not send a kind thought to dear Seung-ri. Linda, you’re my girl.
Seung-ri and Ji-yong are getting facials. Seung-ri doesn’t particularly like it, because you’re supposed to relax and not move your mouth so much. This makes it hard to talk. And he can’t see anything either - he has slices of cucumbers for eyes. Feeling completely out of his element, he blindly flings his arm out to the side and when his hand smacks into something hard and slightly bony, a groan erupts and he knows he’s hit Ji-yong’s chest.
“Hey,” he speaks between his teeth.
“Sir, please,” a soft voice sighs with a hint of annoyance. “Don’t move.”
“But it’s important!” Seung-ri insists, feeling the mask of mud crack open around his cheeks. He tries to aim his arm at Ji-yong again but someone catches his wrist and Seung-ri sighs. “What if I forget!” he complains. “What if it’s really important and I forget just because I have to look pretty!”
“You’re not pretty,” Ji-yong hisses, and Seung-ri can almost feel the spit flying across the room.
“I so am!”
“Sir! You have to be quiet or I’ll have to do it all over again!”
Seung-ri huffs. What if he forgets! It’s Important.
***
Fortunately, Seung-ri doesn’t forget. He rarely does. He starts pawing at Ji-yong’s sleeve as soon as they’re back in the car. Ji-yong, in turn, hands him over to Young-bae.
“About chaos, hyung.”
Young-bae takes his earphones out with some reluctance, and lifts his eyes to Seung-ri’s.
“You mean your room.”
“No, no, in the universe! Everywhere,” Seung-ri attempts to explain.
“What?”
“Have you ever thought of how blood vessels, broccoli and leaves are all just the same?”
“… No.” Young-bae doesn’t look half as enthusiastic as Seung-ri had hoped for. He feels the same eyes that normally scan him for bruises search for signs of fever or worse --- shiny eyes without a runny nose. Young-bae’s worried face makes Seung-ri even more eager to explain himself, just to prove there’s nothing wrong.
“Everything is built on patterns, hyung, but they’re so unpredictable in how they change and ---”
Young-bae leans forward and clasps his hand over Seung-ri’s mouth mid-sentence. “You know I love you,” he says, keeping his voice very quiet, breath warm against Seung-ri’s ear. “You’re always my favourite but I can’t stand it when you run your mouth about things that nobody gets.”
Surely, that was meant to be comforting, but Seung-ri’s heart drops down into his gut. He feels like he’s suspended mid-air, with his legs dangling, even though he can feel the seatbelt digging into his side. He wants to scream that he is a human being - he is meant to use his brain even if others do not! But he bites his jaws together and tries to remember if there’s any alcohol at home.
***
“I’ll pour you a drink if you listen,” Seung-ri promises and it’s almost as though the sparkling whites of his teeth take over his entire complexion.
“Okay.”
Immediately, he darts toward the freezer. “You know, hyung, we’re all just like computer chips, really, because computers are virtual brains - it’s the same, don’t you think?”
“…Put it back,” Seung-hyun says, pointing at the frosty bottle in Seung-ri’s hand. There’s something very pale about him, and Seung-ri takes the hint with a heavy heart.
“Good night,” he says.
***
He knocks on Dae-sung’s door but regrets it as soon as it opens. It’s too awkward, even for Seung-ri.
“I was just looking for something to read, but now I remember that I saw a copy of National Geographic in the kitchen. Bye!” he says, ignoring Dae-sung’s bewildered look as it follows him all the way down the corridor until he hops into the kitchen, and breathes out.
***
Seung-ri meant to bring it up gently, but Ji-yong has his lemon face on.
“I’m sorry, but it’s like you don’t know anything about science at all, hyung, really - like you missed the string theory and the relativity theory altogether!”
Ji-yong crosses his arms. “Shut up.”
“Wow. Honestly, it’s like you didn’t even finished high school.”
“I finished high school!”
“Not properly, apparently.”
They glare at each other, and for once, Seung-ri stands his ground. He knows what he’s talking about and if Ji-yong would only let him explain, if he would just hear him out, neither of them would have to be defensive like this. In fact, Seung-ri is pretty sure that while his thoughts might not change the world, he could make it a better place, and isn’t that just what Ji-yong always talks about? Helping. People just have to understand, and be understanding. It has always bothered Seung-ri - and puzzled him just as much - how most people can just sit on their arses and not use their brains to even ten percent of their potential.
“Well, then. Who I am supposed to talk to about this?” he mutters, sounding petulant.
Ji-yong remains cold. “How about you talk to yourself like you always do. Because the rest of us just aren’t smart enough, right?”
Seung-ri huffs with a bit because that stung into his core. He doesn’t have a comeback and it doesn’t seem to matter - Ji-yong has left the room and Seung-ri is left alone with his brain again. If only it wasn’t thinking so much.
***
Seung-ri knows very well that desperate times crave desperate methods. “Hello, Gaho,” he says and grabs a leash. “You and I are going for a very important walk.”
They walk and walk and Seung-ri wears a cap and a big scarf. He plops down onto the grass and pulls his cap down to make sure no one sees his pretty eyes.
“Here, see, look at this leaf,” he says, tossing one at his temporary companion. “See how beautiful that is? How the lines seem to branch out from middle, creating a very distinct pattern? Just like the branches on the tree.” He smiles, pleased with his own play of words. Gaho sniffs at his wrist, but cares very little about the leaf. “And the roots,” Seung-ri continues. “All the little twigs. They all grow in the same pattern. Like a system.”
He finds a dog treat in his pocket and smiles when Gaho sits. “You’re a good friend,” he mumbles, before laying down on his back and looking up at the sky. “Water flows the same way. Rivers turn into deltas and if you break a window, the glass will crack just like a leaf, or a delta. Or like a spider web, depending on how you look at it - some people are a bit abstract. Personally, I go with the branching thing.”
“The universe is so far from random.” His eyes trail over the clouds moving up ahead. “The world is all math, of course. All these patterns, all these… mathematic formulas, how they work together in complex, synchronized systems… It’s all so perfect, yet…”
Gaho puts his paws on Seung-ri’s chest, and he has to pause to remove the adorable, annoying little creature. “You’re not listening,” he chides him, tossing a random twig towards the bushes. “I was saying that everything is perfect, working symmetrically and together but that it’s uncontrollable at the same time. Out of nowhere, patterns start to change. Not patterns like branches, of course, but patterns like the movement of waves, or how a large flock of birds fly across the skies… Mathematically, the systems are without fault but they still behave --- occasionally, not always --- in a way that cannot be explained. It’s just… chaos. Small, tiny changes cause the systems to break up and behave in an unpredictable way…”
Seung-ri turns his head, looking over at the dog. “Young-bae always says that I have too much brain for such a small head. I think he thinks I’m going to explode.” He smiles big with his eyes and his heart. “He only worries because he loves me.”
He sighs, heartily, before he continues : “The universe recreates itself. There’s not even a plan --- every cell just seems to know exactly where it’s going, even when the butterfly effect sets in and everything changes. It starts over. The world is a system of chaos, a chaos of patterns, and it’s just ones and zeros really, you could type it all into a computer. One one zero one one zero. And you and I are tiny little computer chips.”
Seung-ri can’t help the feeling of happiness that erupts in his stomach. “We’re just like little computer chips, ones and zeros. But then comes the butterfly and… we are fantastic, Gaho. We’re amazing.”
He jerks suddenly, feeling his pocket vibrate. It’s time to go home.
“You know, Gaho… Sometimes I think that I’m the only one who cares about how beautiful the world really is,” he says, fastens the leash onto the dogs collar and together, they cross the lawn and start back toward the house.
End.
Main: Seung-ri
Summary: Evolution, dogs and Lee Seung-ri. Big Bang in the scientific sense.
Word count: 1483
Warnings: Physics and math
A/N: It’s hard to watch Sheldon Cooper and not send a kind thought to dear Seung-ri. Linda, you’re my girl.
Seung-ri and Ji-yong are getting facials. Seung-ri doesn’t particularly like it, because you’re supposed to relax and not move your mouth so much. This makes it hard to talk. And he can’t see anything either - he has slices of cucumbers for eyes. Feeling completely out of his element, he blindly flings his arm out to the side and when his hand smacks into something hard and slightly bony, a groan erupts and he knows he’s hit Ji-yong’s chest.
“Hey,” he speaks between his teeth.
“Sir, please,” a soft voice sighs with a hint of annoyance. “Don’t move.”
“But it’s important!” Seung-ri insists, feeling the mask of mud crack open around his cheeks. He tries to aim his arm at Ji-yong again but someone catches his wrist and Seung-ri sighs. “What if I forget!” he complains. “What if it’s really important and I forget just because I have to look pretty!”
“You’re not pretty,” Ji-yong hisses, and Seung-ri can almost feel the spit flying across the room.
“I so am!”
“Sir! You have to be quiet or I’ll have to do it all over again!”
Seung-ri huffs. What if he forgets! It’s Important.
***
Fortunately, Seung-ri doesn’t forget. He rarely does. He starts pawing at Ji-yong’s sleeve as soon as they’re back in the car. Ji-yong, in turn, hands him over to Young-bae.
“About chaos, hyung.”
Young-bae takes his earphones out with some reluctance, and lifts his eyes to Seung-ri’s.
“You mean your room.”
“No, no, in the universe! Everywhere,” Seung-ri attempts to explain.
“What?”
“Have you ever thought of how blood vessels, broccoli and leaves are all just the same?”
“… No.” Young-bae doesn’t look half as enthusiastic as Seung-ri had hoped for. He feels the same eyes that normally scan him for bruises search for signs of fever or worse --- shiny eyes without a runny nose. Young-bae’s worried face makes Seung-ri even more eager to explain himself, just to prove there’s nothing wrong.
“Everything is built on patterns, hyung, but they’re so unpredictable in how they change and ---”
Young-bae leans forward and clasps his hand over Seung-ri’s mouth mid-sentence. “You know I love you,” he says, keeping his voice very quiet, breath warm against Seung-ri’s ear. “You’re always my favourite but I can’t stand it when you run your mouth about things that nobody gets.”
Surely, that was meant to be comforting, but Seung-ri’s heart drops down into his gut. He feels like he’s suspended mid-air, with his legs dangling, even though he can feel the seatbelt digging into his side. He wants to scream that he is a human being - he is meant to use his brain even if others do not! But he bites his jaws together and tries to remember if there’s any alcohol at home.
***
“I’ll pour you a drink if you listen,” Seung-ri promises and it’s almost as though the sparkling whites of his teeth take over his entire complexion.
“Okay.”
Immediately, he darts toward the freezer. “You know, hyung, we’re all just like computer chips, really, because computers are virtual brains - it’s the same, don’t you think?”
“…Put it back,” Seung-hyun says, pointing at the frosty bottle in Seung-ri’s hand. There’s something very pale about him, and Seung-ri takes the hint with a heavy heart.
“Good night,” he says.
***
He knocks on Dae-sung’s door but regrets it as soon as it opens. It’s too awkward, even for Seung-ri.
“I was just looking for something to read, but now I remember that I saw a copy of National Geographic in the kitchen. Bye!” he says, ignoring Dae-sung’s bewildered look as it follows him all the way down the corridor until he hops into the kitchen, and breathes out.
***
Seung-ri meant to bring it up gently, but Ji-yong has his lemon face on.
“I’m sorry, but it’s like you don’t know anything about science at all, hyung, really - like you missed the string theory and the relativity theory altogether!”
Ji-yong crosses his arms. “Shut up.”
“Wow. Honestly, it’s like you didn’t even finished high school.”
“I finished high school!”
“Not properly, apparently.”
They glare at each other, and for once, Seung-ri stands his ground. He knows what he’s talking about and if Ji-yong would only let him explain, if he would just hear him out, neither of them would have to be defensive like this. In fact, Seung-ri is pretty sure that while his thoughts might not change the world, he could make it a better place, and isn’t that just what Ji-yong always talks about? Helping. People just have to understand, and be understanding. It has always bothered Seung-ri - and puzzled him just as much - how most people can just sit on their arses and not use their brains to even ten percent of their potential.
“Well, then. Who I am supposed to talk to about this?” he mutters, sounding petulant.
Ji-yong remains cold. “How about you talk to yourself like you always do. Because the rest of us just aren’t smart enough, right?”
Seung-ri huffs with a bit because that stung into his core. He doesn’t have a comeback and it doesn’t seem to matter - Ji-yong has left the room and Seung-ri is left alone with his brain again. If only it wasn’t thinking so much.
***
Seung-ri knows very well that desperate times crave desperate methods. “Hello, Gaho,” he says and grabs a leash. “You and I are going for a very important walk.”
They walk and walk and Seung-ri wears a cap and a big scarf. He plops down onto the grass and pulls his cap down to make sure no one sees his pretty eyes.
“Here, see, look at this leaf,” he says, tossing one at his temporary companion. “See how beautiful that is? How the lines seem to branch out from middle, creating a very distinct pattern? Just like the branches on the tree.” He smiles, pleased with his own play of words. Gaho sniffs at his wrist, but cares very little about the leaf. “And the roots,” Seung-ri continues. “All the little twigs. They all grow in the same pattern. Like a system.”
He finds a dog treat in his pocket and smiles when Gaho sits. “You’re a good friend,” he mumbles, before laying down on his back and looking up at the sky. “Water flows the same way. Rivers turn into deltas and if you break a window, the glass will crack just like a leaf, or a delta. Or like a spider web, depending on how you look at it - some people are a bit abstract. Personally, I go with the branching thing.”
“The universe is so far from random.” His eyes trail over the clouds moving up ahead. “The world is all math, of course. All these patterns, all these… mathematic formulas, how they work together in complex, synchronized systems… It’s all so perfect, yet…”
Gaho puts his paws on Seung-ri’s chest, and he has to pause to remove the adorable, annoying little creature. “You’re not listening,” he chides him, tossing a random twig towards the bushes. “I was saying that everything is perfect, working symmetrically and together but that it’s uncontrollable at the same time. Out of nowhere, patterns start to change. Not patterns like branches, of course, but patterns like the movement of waves, or how a large flock of birds fly across the skies… Mathematically, the systems are without fault but they still behave --- occasionally, not always --- in a way that cannot be explained. It’s just… chaos. Small, tiny changes cause the systems to break up and behave in an unpredictable way…”
Seung-ri turns his head, looking over at the dog. “Young-bae always says that I have too much brain for such a small head. I think he thinks I’m going to explode.” He smiles big with his eyes and his heart. “He only worries because he loves me.”
He sighs, heartily, before he continues : “The universe recreates itself. There’s not even a plan --- every cell just seems to know exactly where it’s going, even when the butterfly effect sets in and everything changes. It starts over. The world is a system of chaos, a chaos of patterns, and it’s just ones and zeros really, you could type it all into a computer. One one zero one one zero. And you and I are tiny little computer chips.”
Seung-ri can’t help the feeling of happiness that erupts in his stomach. “We’re just like little computer chips, ones and zeros. But then comes the butterfly and… we are fantastic, Gaho. We’re amazing.”
He jerks suddenly, feeling his pocket vibrate. It’s time to go home.
“You know, Gaho… Sometimes I think that I’m the only one who cares about how beautiful the world really is,” he says, fastens the leash onto the dogs collar and together, they cross the lawn and start back toward the house.
End.