2 November 1993
2 November 1993
Mr S Black
On the run
Somewhere in the UK (Hopefully not TOO near Hogwarts!)
Dear Mr Black,
My name is Colin Creevey and I am writing to ask you to please not try and kill Harry Potter, because he’s the brilliantest person EVER. Please don’t try and kill me either! And please please don’t kill this owl because it’s not mine and I’ll get told off! I’m sure you’re really cool too in a scary murderer kind of way! You escaped from prison, didn’t you?! Because even though that’s really bad and you should go back and say sorry, you must be REALLY clever! Did you dig your way out with a spoon like in the movies? Because that must have taken AGES! Now that you’re free though, you don’t want to try and kill Harry, because he’s brilliant and he’ll just beat you! He beat the big evil snake last year AND the Hair of Slytherin and if he can kill a MASSIVE SNAKE then you’re so DEAD!!
I don’t get why you want to kill him anyway, I mean, Harry is really cool and brilliant at Quidditch and I bet You Know Who only wants to get rid of him because he’s MUCH cooler than he is! Is that why? Because although you’ll NEVER be as cool as Harry, being an escaped convict is still pretty AWESOME and you look DEAD SCARY in all those pictures in the paper! Are you really MAD? If you come back here and you’re not feeling all rampagey and slashy, can I take your photo? You have to promise not to kill me though! Or Harry! I’d make it a good photo, I promise! You don’t have to scream or anything like in your wanted poster!
Were you really screaming or were you putting it on? Like on telly when they have to pretend to cry and stuff?! I always thought it would be really sad to cry all the time like they do in mum’s soaps, but she told me that they use eye drops and things and they’re not REALLY upset, so that’s ok! I bet prison is quite scary though so I wouldn’t think that you were a big GIRL if you really WERE screaming! But if you were pretending then why don’t you go and be an actor instead of a crazy psycho? Because you’d get loads of money and people would like you more! And actors always have really pretty girlfriends! And then you wouldn’t want to kill Harry, would you? Would you?! And you’d get to have showers and nicer clothes and everything!
Think about it!
