so, maybe I'll write a little.
I've been trying to find the right combination of words to update without overbearing you with verbocity.
I can't.
For the first month or so of my internship at Maura Tighe, I've been worried that I've been wasting my time. I only work three days a week, they send me home when things are slow, I've been in and out of the doctor's office which has on one or two occasions cut into my work schedule...but last week, I was sitting in on a session, and I realized...I feel like I'm not doing anything because it doesn't feel like work. I work 9 hour days, I go on coffee runs, I've been sick and in pain and bouncing from doctor's office to doctor's office...and I'm blissful coming in at 9AM three days a week. I'm trying to get more days. What's more exciting than discovering that you do, in fact, love what you do?
(It doesn't hurt, either, that they keep telling me I could do this - well - for a living.)
In other news:
When mum got sick, my penchant for eating my feelings kicked in xhardxcorex. I'm heavier now than I've ever been, and lately it's been seriously getting to me. I've got a bad habit (who doesn't, really?) of swearing up and down that "THIS IS THE YEAR I LOSE THE WEIGHT", and never following through. This summer, though, as my body falls apart (you think I'm kidding), I'm forced to keep my word.
In the span of two weeks, I was diagnosed with Bronchitis, Pneumonia, Asthma, and - oh, yeah - two herniating discs in my back. It hurts to sit, and bend, and...live...but. There is light at the end of the tunnel. (Which I've recently learned is the effect of your corneas contracting right before death when your body's in shock. Or something.)
I've begun swimming at the Y, to get in shape and increase lung capacity. I also have physical therapy to "strengthen my core" and retrain my spinal cord back into submission. If I can stick to all of this, and keep my ass in line, there's a chance that by the end of this summer I may be back to my pre-mum/cancer-self. For those who've known me over a year or so, think fall semester freshman year. Yeah, it didn't suck. Here's to "not sucking" again.
And further:
I'm getting even more solidly back on my feet socially. Comparing this summer to last is almost unfair; I have friends around the city and I'm getting out there and being active and adventuring and making friends. Once I have the go-ahead from my physical therapist, I WILL start sailing. Dammit, I will. I just need to commit. If there's one thing standing in my way, it's my inability to follow through on ANYTHING lately. I'm gonna hazard a guess that it's my psyche's reaction to the spring semester and everything Twelfth Night; an equal and opposite reaction. Take that, high school physics.
On the subject of Twelfth Night:
It occurred to me recently that I had forgotten almost completely about the entire experience for the past month or so. I had an interaction with an actor/friend that backed me emotionally into a dark corner, and I guess I just sort of blocked it all out in an emotionally allergic reaction to negative energy. An emo-rash, I guess you could call it. A few days ago, though, I found a video my cast and I made when we first received the music written for the show. I remember how excited we all were, how jazzed and electric everyone got at the first sign of the elements coming together. We turned on the music and sent a video of the cast frolicking about to Jeff, the writer. Chaos ensued, and watching the video brought back all sorts of memories filled with laughter and sillies. Spring semester, I directed a show filled with friends and peers and people I respect. There were natural highs and lows, and I made mistakes...it was one of the most challenging and exciting experiences I have ever had. I won't forget anymore.
image credit: Mr. Graetz.
For now, I think that's it. Dating has been comically absent from my life regardless of opportunities. Partying has been occasional, enjoyable, and thoroughly justified. I'm still slowly learning how to manage my money. I finally visited NYC again, with plans for more before this summer is out. I've beach'd and will beach again. I'm two weeks from family. My dad is on his way to the discerning for the priesthood and I could not be more happy for him. Adulthood is on its merry way.
I can't.
For the first month or so of my internship at Maura Tighe, I've been worried that I've been wasting my time. I only work three days a week, they send me home when things are slow, I've been in and out of the doctor's office which has on one or two occasions cut into my work schedule...but last week, I was sitting in on a session, and I realized...I feel like I'm not doing anything because it doesn't feel like work. I work 9 hour days, I go on coffee runs, I've been sick and in pain and bouncing from doctor's office to doctor's office...and I'm blissful coming in at 9AM three days a week. I'm trying to get more days. What's more exciting than discovering that you do, in fact, love what you do?
(It doesn't hurt, either, that they keep telling me I could do this - well - for a living.)
In other news:
When mum got sick, my penchant for eating my feelings kicked in xhardxcorex. I'm heavier now than I've ever been, and lately it's been seriously getting to me. I've got a bad habit (who doesn't, really?) of swearing up and down that "THIS IS THE YEAR I LOSE THE WEIGHT", and never following through. This summer, though, as my body falls apart (you think I'm kidding), I'm forced to keep my word.
In the span of two weeks, I was diagnosed with Bronchitis, Pneumonia, Asthma, and - oh, yeah - two herniating discs in my back. It hurts to sit, and bend, and...live...but. There is light at the end of the tunnel. (Which I've recently learned is the effect of your corneas contracting right before death when your body's in shock. Or something.)
I've begun swimming at the Y, to get in shape and increase lung capacity. I also have physical therapy to "strengthen my core" and retrain my spinal cord back into submission. If I can stick to all of this, and keep my ass in line, there's a chance that by the end of this summer I may be back to my pre-mum/cancer-self. For those who've known me over a year or so, think fall semester freshman year. Yeah, it didn't suck. Here's to "not sucking" again.
And further:
I'm getting even more solidly back on my feet socially. Comparing this summer to last is almost unfair; I have friends around the city and I'm getting out there and being active and adventuring and making friends. Once I have the go-ahead from my physical therapist, I WILL start sailing. Dammit, I will. I just need to commit. If there's one thing standing in my way, it's my inability to follow through on ANYTHING lately. I'm gonna hazard a guess that it's my psyche's reaction to the spring semester and everything Twelfth Night; an equal and opposite reaction. Take that, high school physics.
On the subject of Twelfth Night:
It occurred to me recently that I had forgotten almost completely about the entire experience for the past month or so. I had an interaction with an actor/friend that backed me emotionally into a dark corner, and I guess I just sort of blocked it all out in an emotionally allergic reaction to negative energy. An emo-rash, I guess you could call it. A few days ago, though, I found a video my cast and I made when we first received the music written for the show. I remember how excited we all were, how jazzed and electric everyone got at the first sign of the elements coming together. We turned on the music and sent a video of the cast frolicking about to Jeff, the writer. Chaos ensued, and watching the video brought back all sorts of memories filled with laughter and sillies. Spring semester, I directed a show filled with friends and peers and people I respect. There were natural highs and lows, and I made mistakes...it was one of the most challenging and exciting experiences I have ever had. I won't forget anymore.
image credit: Mr. Graetz.
For now, I think that's it. Dating has been comically absent from my life regardless of opportunities. Partying has been occasional, enjoyable, and thoroughly justified. I'm still slowly learning how to manage my money. I finally visited NYC again, with plans for more before this summer is out. I've beach'd and will beach again. I'm two weeks from family. My dad is on his way to the discerning for the priesthood and I could not be more happy for him. Adulthood is on its merry way.