A movie starring Jessica Alba in which she plays Selima, an Iban native in the jungles of Sarawak and falls in love with a British colonist after she gets chosen to be his "sleeping dictionary" aka a savage girl he can screw and learn the language at the same time. Their love is forbidden and scandalous and so they try to run off together, escape ( Read more... )

Pregnant man talks to Oprah Winfrey

Russian squirrel pack 'kills dog'

( Snake Bursts After Gobbling Gator )

Argentina on strike. ¿Cristina, qué vas a hacer? I've got my hands in the air.

Yeah, well, so what's your sign?

while i'm searching for the ladrón that stole perón's hands, you can mark me MIA, ghost without a name.

( good air )

The Giants won, and a woman behind me is talking about how much pasta salad she ate last night, and my stomach is contorting in knots. I had a dream I made love with a woman while sleeping in bed next to one and then another dream where I popped a pimple and out of the pus sprung a monster with a pointed tongue and bug eyes the color of concrete ( Read more... )

The fat man in the corner office was just really rude to me.

You think you hold something over me with your big polished wooden desk, tweety bird tie. You can't cross your legs. You make a stupid website in your stupid corner office with your stupid mustache chewing up your soul.

Insubordination!!!!!!

There are lobsters and cicadas in my bedroom. The lobsters are trying to attack me so I have to clamp their claws with rubberbands, but they're growing bigger and the cicadas are huge with gigantic see-through veiny wings buzzing under my bed, in drawers. The lobsters are red with white bellies and beady eyes, and I try to reason with them but ( Read more... )

do you Feel me?
do You feel Me?

well how could you 'cause i got no skin.

i drink my coffee black now, black as midnight black as a black cat black as your eye after i get through with you.

"National Treasure was good?"
"Yeah."
"LOVED the first one."
"And there's going to be a third."
"Oh, gooood."

(about Cuba)
"My brother-in-law escaped about 40 years ago."
"But I mean how was it? How are the politics? Did you get involved?"

"He left the toilet seat up again. That's twice this week."

LA RESISTANCE!!!