Even If You Never Love Me, Chapter 4
Rating: M
Genres: Angst, Romance, Drama
Warnings: Mild sexual situation. That "M" rating will come into play in the future, I promise.
Spoilers: Up through Special Education
Disclaimer: I don't own Glee.
Author's Notes: This is my original plot, guys! No prompts required! Big deal for me...
Summary: Kurt didn't immediately fall in love with Blaine. They're just friends, best friends, whose sexualities happen to be compatible. Or, so Kurt thought.
Word Count: 2,062
Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3
**Thank you for all the AMAZINGLY encouraging reviews. I didn't know I sounded so down on myself in my last Author's Note, but it's good I did, because those reviews inspired a whole lot of creative juices, and I actually know how I'm going to end this story, now! I haven't even gotten to the heart of the thing, but it's nice to have a goal. So, yeah, thank you so much! I'm sorry I haven't responded to them yet; work has been crazy, but I will thank everyone individually.
Anyway, this chapter contains the moment I've been writing toward this whole time, so I'm excited to post it!**
Burt gives the news an abnormal amount of attention, looking for any hint the drive to Blaine's might be dangerous.
There are none. Clear skies are assured until next week.
Kurt tries not to look too triumphant as he hugs his dad goodbye.
After offering the mandatory gratitude to his hosts, Blaine follows Kurt to the car.
Kurt hooks up his iPod to the stereo system and hands it to Blaine. It's an immense honor. Everything about this is previous to Kurt: his SUV, his speakers, his iPod, his music. And he entrusts it all to Blaine.
Before the heater has even kicked on, Blaine feels all warm inside.
He goes with the soundtrack to a musical Kurt loves and is rewarded as Kurt sings along.
"I didn't know you liked Les Mis," Kurt comments between the second and third song.
"Neither did I."
"It grows on you," Kurt nods, mistakenly thinking Blaine's seen it.
Blaine decides not to confess his feelings in the car. The confines are too claustrophobic, icy roads are the wrong thing to distract a driver from, and he's still not sure keeping it a secret isn't the smartest choice here. The boy he loves, loves to spend time with him. Why risk that?
He mostly stays silent for the drive, his only communication the regular text messages he sends Burt.
He finally speaks up when they take the exit to his town and he has to direct Kurt to his neighborhood.
"The white one on the left there is my house."
Kurt stops the car in the middle of the (luckily deserted) road and stares, "No."
Blaine doesn't get it, "What?"
"I mean, I knew with that BMW you must be well-off, but... That mansion is your house?"
"Yeah, it's kind of imposing, though I suppose that was the intention. My parents make a lot of money and like to spend it on things they rarely see."
Like Blaine.
Blaine bites his lip, annoyed at how much he just shared.
Kurt just nods, still in awe, "They sure do." He returns his foot to the gas pedal and pulls into the empty driveway.
As Kurt's killing his engine, the garage door opens.
"How did it do that?" Kurt looks as if he might actually believe in magic if Blaine convinces him they paid enough.
"Charles probably heard you pull up."
"Who's Charles?"
Blaine's tempted to say, "Our house-elf," but the truth is close enough... and not condescending. "Our butler."
"You have a butler," Kurt just accepts this, no longer needing confirmation for each aspect of Blaine's rich life.
Kurt pulls into the garage unlike any garage he's ever been in. There are decorations where tools should be, marble flooring where oil-stained concrete usually is, and a chandelier. He's never felt his Baby unworthy of a parking spot before this.
As they step out of the car, the garage door closes and the entry to the house opens.
"Good afternoon, Master Blaine," Charles greets, holding the door open.
"Good afternoon, Charles. This is my friend, Kurt Hummel."
"Welcome to the Anderson Estate, Sir."
"Thank you. Um, please, call me Kurt."
"If you would prefer."
Kurt nods adamantly, "I would."
It never occurred to Blaine to have the staff refer to him just by name. He supposes it would sound silly now, after all these years.
"Master Blaine, Kurt, may I take your coats?" Charles asks as he shuts the door behind him.
Blaine removes his immediately, and when Kurt doesn't spot a coat closet, he does the same with a humorous amount of gratitude.
"Anything you'll be needing, Sir?"
Blaine gives a quick glance to Kurt, realizes he wouldn't know what to ask a butler for, and dismisses Charles, "No, thank you. That will be all."
Charles disappears into the house, with their coats.
"So... want a tour?" It's the least Blaine can do after dropping Kurt into this world.
Kurt looks somewhere between excited and nervous, "Yes. Please."
"All right, follow me." Blaine leads him around the corner.
"Your house has an elevator?" Kurt's back to asking questions, apparently.
"It's five stories high and a lot of our furniture was too heavy to carry up the stairs- Yes. Yes, my house has an elevator."
Kurt laughs, actually laughs, as he steps inside. "I haven't even been in the elevator at the mall."
Blaine presses button #5 and takes them to the top floor, "We'll start at the office. My parents run their own business, so they made the top floor their headquarters."
The doors ping open, and Rose greets them, "Good afternoon, Master Blaine, and welcome, Sir, to Anderson Enterprises."
Blaine's parents aren't the most creative with names (how close is his own to "bland?") but they do know how to make a statement. The office looks like it comes straight out of the 1920s New York Art Deco period.
"He would prefer to be called Kurt," Blaine announces. "Did my parents leave any messages for me?"
"No, Sir, I'm afraid they haven't called back yet."
Blaine bites back his disappointment. He was really hoping he could at least pretend he had a family life in front of Kurt.
"I'm sure Rose is busy. I'll show you the next floor."
As the elevator doors close, Kurt turns a confused face to Blaine, "She was the only one in there."
"She sort of runs the business while my parents are away." Blaine leads Kurt out onto the fourth floor.
"From the top of your house."
"She's a live-in secretary. She actually keeps very busy."
"And where are your parents?"
Ah, that question.
"They are... in... very important meetings."
The rest of the tour serves to distract Kurt from the absence of his family. It really only succeeds in highlighting it.
"And last but not least, here is the Drawing Room. It's right off the entryway we came in, and where we entertain our guests." He says "our guests," but Blaine has never actually had a guest over. He's helped entertain, however, so this shouldn't be too disastrous.
"Care for a drink?" Blaine pours himself a Scotch from the bar as he offers.
Kurt's eyebrows meet his hairline, "Your parents let you do that?"
"They don't care, so long as I don't make trouble." Blaine is going to let Kurt think he's only referring to alcohol consumption.
"No, thank you. I'm going to be driving soon."
Blaine makes his a double.
"Blaine, now that we're seated and you're making yourself comfortable, I'm been meaning to ask... Can we talk?"
Blaine takes a sizable sip of his liquid courage and nods.
Kurt puts his hands over Blaine's and locks eyes, "You've always been there for me, for everything I've needed. I can count on you. I want you to know you can count on me, too."
Blaine can hear the words being spoken to him, but they're difficult to process with Kurt's hands touching him and his beautiful face looking at him. He realizes Kurt's paused, so he nods.
Kurt continues, "You can talk to me. I know something is going on with you, and I'd be a terrible person if I let you keep hiding it. Tell me what's wrong. I'm your best friend."
Friend.
Blaine takes a gulp of his drink. The fact that he doesn't even wince might be sending messages to Kurt's subconscious.
"Blaine?"
"You're my friend."
"Yes," Kurt squeezes his hand, "best friend." He doesn't know Blaine just answered his question.
Oh well. Best not to tempt fate twice. "Can we... not do this? Can we put off the tough stuff, just for a bit, and do something else?"
Blaine doesn't expect him to agree. He expects Kurt to remind him he needs to go and to tell him to call him when he's ready to talk.
Sometimes, Kurt can surprise him. "Okay, what do you want to do?"
The best thing they've done these past two days: "Watch a movie?" And cuddle?
"We can do that. What movies do you have?"
"Can we watch Cinderella?" It's his pick-me-up movie, has been since his fourth birthday landed on his parents' sixth international trip.
Kurt smiles, "The Disney movie?"
"It's fine if you want to pick another movie. I know cartoons are for kids-"
"I love Disney." Kurt might be lying, might just be trying to spare Blaine's feelings, but that would be one of the nicest things anyone has ever done for him, so it's okay. Besides, he could really use his pick-me-up.
It's been a difficult month alone in the house, so Cinderella is already in the DVD player. He just has to power it up, press play, and let animation magic do all the work.
Kurt squeezes his hand, proving he hasn't yet let go. How did Blaine miss that? How was he so nervous he didn't realize Kurt was still holding his hand?
Blaine squeezes back.
Kurt's head comes to rest on his shoulder.
Just friends. Just friends. Just friends.
Blaine drinks until his glass is empty.
The alcohol makes Blaine a bit drowsy. Kurt accommodates him by switching their positions, unhooking their hands so he can wrap his arm around Blaine's shoulders and pull him against his own.
Blaine nuzzles into the familiar warmth and sweet scent.
Kurt chuckles, "Somebody's a cuddly drunk."
"You should have a drink, too, so we can be cuddly together." Oh, no. Stupid move. This will remind Kurt of why he absconded in the first place, that he should be going soon. Or, worse, it will make him uncomfortable, feel pressured-
"We seem to be managing fine."
Blaine sighs. His breath bounces off the side of Kurt's neck, and he can feel just the barest of a shiver. Pleasure. Blaine made Kurt feel good. It was totally by accident, but it happened.
It can happen again. Blaine gently blows a warm stream into the crook of Kurt's neck. There it is again: that delicious hint of a shiver. Perhaps subconsciously, Kurt tilts his head to expose more of his neck to Blaine.
With his movie on the screen and alcohol in his system, Blaine gains courage. Maybe he doesn't have to tell Kurt how he feels in words. Maybe he can just show him. He gently grazes the tip of his nose up the pale skin.
Kurt gasps.
Before he can stop himself, Blaine brings his lips just behind Kurt's ear and presses a kiss where he knows it will feel amazing. Where he wants Kurt to remember Blaine made him feel amazing.
"Blaine-"
Blaine uses his tongue, swirling in every sensitive spot he can reach.
Kurt sounds so sad as he pulls away, "Oh, Blaine..."
Blaine throws his arms around Kurt, bringing him back, holding him close, "Don't go." He returns to Kurt's neck, kissing him how he knows Kurt likes it and feeling Kurt's body twitch with pleasure.
"Is this what you couldn't tell me, Blaine? What you've been hiding from me?"
Blaine is surprised by the sniffle and shuddering breath that escape his own body, far too close to crying. He nods against Kurt's neck, presses a kiss to his cheek, and just holds Kurt. Holds him and hopes.
"Blaine, I don't know what to say."
"Please." Don't hurt me.
"I thought we were just friends."
Blaine shakes his head, fighting to steady his shaking breath.
"Blaine, I'm not good with this stuff. I can never tell when someone's not interested in me-"
"I'm interested in you."
"I don't know how to take 'no' for an answer."
"I'm not saying no."
"Blaine... I can't do romantic relationships."
"I don't need romance. Just, stay. I'll give you anything if you just stay the night."
Kurt stiffens, removes his arm from Blaine's form.
Blaine doesn't know what he did wrong, but he tries to fix it, peppering kisses along Kurt's jaw.
Kurt pushes him away and when Blaine looks up, the anger in Kurt's eyes is enough to keep Blaine from moving toward him again.
"H-How could you?" Kurt is shaking with rage. "I thought... You're my best friend, and you would treat me like a whore?"
What? How? Where is that coming from? That's not what Blaine meant!
Blaine wants to explain, but it's too late. Kurt's already out the door.
"What have I done?"
Chapter 5
Genres: Angst, Romance, Drama
Warnings: Mild sexual situation. That "M" rating will come into play in the future, I promise.
Spoilers: Up through Special Education
Disclaimer: I don't own Glee.
Author's Notes: This is my original plot, guys! No prompts required! Big deal for me...
Summary: Kurt didn't immediately fall in love with Blaine. They're just friends, best friends, whose sexualities happen to be compatible. Or, so Kurt thought.
Word Count: 2,062
Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3
**Thank you for all the AMAZINGLY encouraging reviews. I didn't know I sounded so down on myself in my last Author's Note, but it's good I did, because those reviews inspired a whole lot of creative juices, and I actually know how I'm going to end this story, now! I haven't even gotten to the heart of the thing, but it's nice to have a goal. So, yeah, thank you so much! I'm sorry I haven't responded to them yet; work has been crazy, but I will thank everyone individually.
Anyway, this chapter contains the moment I've been writing toward this whole time, so I'm excited to post it!**
Burt gives the news an abnormal amount of attention, looking for any hint the drive to Blaine's might be dangerous.
There are none. Clear skies are assured until next week.
Kurt tries not to look too triumphant as he hugs his dad goodbye.
After offering the mandatory gratitude to his hosts, Blaine follows Kurt to the car.
Kurt hooks up his iPod to the stereo system and hands it to Blaine. It's an immense honor. Everything about this is previous to Kurt: his SUV, his speakers, his iPod, his music. And he entrusts it all to Blaine.
Before the heater has even kicked on, Blaine feels all warm inside.
He goes with the soundtrack to a musical Kurt loves and is rewarded as Kurt sings along.
"I didn't know you liked Les Mis," Kurt comments between the second and third song.
"Neither did I."
"It grows on you," Kurt nods, mistakenly thinking Blaine's seen it.
Blaine decides not to confess his feelings in the car. The confines are too claustrophobic, icy roads are the wrong thing to distract a driver from, and he's still not sure keeping it a secret isn't the smartest choice here. The boy he loves, loves to spend time with him. Why risk that?
He mostly stays silent for the drive, his only communication the regular text messages he sends Burt.
He finally speaks up when they take the exit to his town and he has to direct Kurt to his neighborhood.
"The white one on the left there is my house."
Kurt stops the car in the middle of the (luckily deserted) road and stares, "No."
Blaine doesn't get it, "What?"
"I mean, I knew with that BMW you must be well-off, but... That mansion is your house?"
"Yeah, it's kind of imposing, though I suppose that was the intention. My parents make a lot of money and like to spend it on things they rarely see."
Like Blaine.
Blaine bites his lip, annoyed at how much he just shared.
Kurt just nods, still in awe, "They sure do." He returns his foot to the gas pedal and pulls into the empty driveway.
As Kurt's killing his engine, the garage door opens.
"How did it do that?" Kurt looks as if he might actually believe in magic if Blaine convinces him they paid enough.
"Charles probably heard you pull up."
"Who's Charles?"
Blaine's tempted to say, "Our house-elf," but the truth is close enough... and not condescending. "Our butler."
"You have a butler," Kurt just accepts this, no longer needing confirmation for each aspect of Blaine's rich life.
Kurt pulls into the garage unlike any garage he's ever been in. There are decorations where tools should be, marble flooring where oil-stained concrete usually is, and a chandelier. He's never felt his Baby unworthy of a parking spot before this.
As they step out of the car, the garage door closes and the entry to the house opens.
"Good afternoon, Master Blaine," Charles greets, holding the door open.
"Good afternoon, Charles. This is my friend, Kurt Hummel."
"Welcome to the Anderson Estate, Sir."
"Thank you. Um, please, call me Kurt."
"If you would prefer."
Kurt nods adamantly, "I would."
It never occurred to Blaine to have the staff refer to him just by name. He supposes it would sound silly now, after all these years.
"Master Blaine, Kurt, may I take your coats?" Charles asks as he shuts the door behind him.
Blaine removes his immediately, and when Kurt doesn't spot a coat closet, he does the same with a humorous amount of gratitude.
"Anything you'll be needing, Sir?"
Blaine gives a quick glance to Kurt, realizes he wouldn't know what to ask a butler for, and dismisses Charles, "No, thank you. That will be all."
Charles disappears into the house, with their coats.
"So... want a tour?" It's the least Blaine can do after dropping Kurt into this world.
Kurt looks somewhere between excited and nervous, "Yes. Please."
"All right, follow me." Blaine leads him around the corner.
"Your house has an elevator?" Kurt's back to asking questions, apparently.
"It's five stories high and a lot of our furniture was too heavy to carry up the stairs- Yes. Yes, my house has an elevator."
Kurt laughs, actually laughs, as he steps inside. "I haven't even been in the elevator at the mall."
Blaine presses button #5 and takes them to the top floor, "We'll start at the office. My parents run their own business, so they made the top floor their headquarters."
The doors ping open, and Rose greets them, "Good afternoon, Master Blaine, and welcome, Sir, to Anderson Enterprises."
Blaine's parents aren't the most creative with names (how close is his own to "bland?") but they do know how to make a statement. The office looks like it comes straight out of the 1920s New York Art Deco period.
"He would prefer to be called Kurt," Blaine announces. "Did my parents leave any messages for me?"
"No, Sir, I'm afraid they haven't called back yet."
Blaine bites back his disappointment. He was really hoping he could at least pretend he had a family life in front of Kurt.
"I'm sure Rose is busy. I'll show you the next floor."
As the elevator doors close, Kurt turns a confused face to Blaine, "She was the only one in there."
"She sort of runs the business while my parents are away." Blaine leads Kurt out onto the fourth floor.
"From the top of your house."
"She's a live-in secretary. She actually keeps very busy."
"And where are your parents?"
Ah, that question.
"They are... in... very important meetings."
The rest of the tour serves to distract Kurt from the absence of his family. It really only succeeds in highlighting it.
"And last but not least, here is the Drawing Room. It's right off the entryway we came in, and where we entertain our guests." He says "our guests," but Blaine has never actually had a guest over. He's helped entertain, however, so this shouldn't be too disastrous.
"Care for a drink?" Blaine pours himself a Scotch from the bar as he offers.
Kurt's eyebrows meet his hairline, "Your parents let you do that?"
"They don't care, so long as I don't make trouble." Blaine is going to let Kurt think he's only referring to alcohol consumption.
"No, thank you. I'm going to be driving soon."
Blaine makes his a double.
"Blaine, now that we're seated and you're making yourself comfortable, I'm been meaning to ask... Can we talk?"
Blaine takes a sizable sip of his liquid courage and nods.
Kurt puts his hands over Blaine's and locks eyes, "You've always been there for me, for everything I've needed. I can count on you. I want you to know you can count on me, too."
Blaine can hear the words being spoken to him, but they're difficult to process with Kurt's hands touching him and his beautiful face looking at him. He realizes Kurt's paused, so he nods.
Kurt continues, "You can talk to me. I know something is going on with you, and I'd be a terrible person if I let you keep hiding it. Tell me what's wrong. I'm your best friend."
Friend.
Blaine takes a gulp of his drink. The fact that he doesn't even wince might be sending messages to Kurt's subconscious.
"Blaine?"
"You're my friend."
"Yes," Kurt squeezes his hand, "best friend." He doesn't know Blaine just answered his question.
Oh well. Best not to tempt fate twice. "Can we... not do this? Can we put off the tough stuff, just for a bit, and do something else?"
Blaine doesn't expect him to agree. He expects Kurt to remind him he needs to go and to tell him to call him when he's ready to talk.
Sometimes, Kurt can surprise him. "Okay, what do you want to do?"
The best thing they've done these past two days: "Watch a movie?" And cuddle?
"We can do that. What movies do you have?"
"Can we watch Cinderella?" It's his pick-me-up movie, has been since his fourth birthday landed on his parents' sixth international trip.
Kurt smiles, "The Disney movie?"
"It's fine if you want to pick another movie. I know cartoons are for kids-"
"I love Disney." Kurt might be lying, might just be trying to spare Blaine's feelings, but that would be one of the nicest things anyone has ever done for him, so it's okay. Besides, he could really use his pick-me-up.
It's been a difficult month alone in the house, so Cinderella is already in the DVD player. He just has to power it up, press play, and let animation magic do all the work.
Kurt squeezes his hand, proving he hasn't yet let go. How did Blaine miss that? How was he so nervous he didn't realize Kurt was still holding his hand?
Blaine squeezes back.
Kurt's head comes to rest on his shoulder.
Just friends. Just friends. Just friends.
Blaine drinks until his glass is empty.
The alcohol makes Blaine a bit drowsy. Kurt accommodates him by switching their positions, unhooking their hands so he can wrap his arm around Blaine's shoulders and pull him against his own.
Blaine nuzzles into the familiar warmth and sweet scent.
Kurt chuckles, "Somebody's a cuddly drunk."
"You should have a drink, too, so we can be cuddly together." Oh, no. Stupid move. This will remind Kurt of why he absconded in the first place, that he should be going soon. Or, worse, it will make him uncomfortable, feel pressured-
"We seem to be managing fine."
Blaine sighs. His breath bounces off the side of Kurt's neck, and he can feel just the barest of a shiver. Pleasure. Blaine made Kurt feel good. It was totally by accident, but it happened.
It can happen again. Blaine gently blows a warm stream into the crook of Kurt's neck. There it is again: that delicious hint of a shiver. Perhaps subconsciously, Kurt tilts his head to expose more of his neck to Blaine.
With his movie on the screen and alcohol in his system, Blaine gains courage. Maybe he doesn't have to tell Kurt how he feels in words. Maybe he can just show him. He gently grazes the tip of his nose up the pale skin.
Kurt gasps.
Before he can stop himself, Blaine brings his lips just behind Kurt's ear and presses a kiss where he knows it will feel amazing. Where he wants Kurt to remember Blaine made him feel amazing.
"Blaine-"
Blaine uses his tongue, swirling in every sensitive spot he can reach.
Kurt sounds so sad as he pulls away, "Oh, Blaine..."
Blaine throws his arms around Kurt, bringing him back, holding him close, "Don't go." He returns to Kurt's neck, kissing him how he knows Kurt likes it and feeling Kurt's body twitch with pleasure.
"Is this what you couldn't tell me, Blaine? What you've been hiding from me?"
Blaine is surprised by the sniffle and shuddering breath that escape his own body, far too close to crying. He nods against Kurt's neck, presses a kiss to his cheek, and just holds Kurt. Holds him and hopes.
"Blaine, I don't know what to say."
"Please." Don't hurt me.
"I thought we were just friends."
Blaine shakes his head, fighting to steady his shaking breath.
"Blaine, I'm not good with this stuff. I can never tell when someone's not interested in me-"
"I'm interested in you."
"I don't know how to take 'no' for an answer."
"I'm not saying no."
"Blaine... I can't do romantic relationships."
"I don't need romance. Just, stay. I'll give you anything if you just stay the night."
Kurt stiffens, removes his arm from Blaine's form.
Blaine doesn't know what he did wrong, but he tries to fix it, peppering kisses along Kurt's jaw.
Kurt pushes him away and when Blaine looks up, the anger in Kurt's eyes is enough to keep Blaine from moving toward him again.
"H-How could you?" Kurt is shaking with rage. "I thought... You're my best friend, and you would treat me like a whore?"
What? How? Where is that coming from? That's not what Blaine meant!
Blaine wants to explain, but it's too late. Kurt's already out the door.
"What have I done?"
Chapter 5