Well, I guess its been forever since ive decided to update. Life is so busy and it fuckin sucks, so whats new...? Im so at a loss of what i am going to do with my life. im putting money on quitting school and be a loser, right now sounds like a plan. but really, i have to find out where i am going next year and what i am going to do with my ( Read more... )

Most of these days I feel like dying, but then, some days I feel like living so I can make other people's lives a perpetual hell like mine! Soccer is over, blah. Some days its good, and then some days, amazingly somehow, I miss it. Watching CG losing there game was bittersweet. More bitter than sweet I guess. Mesa doesn't deserve SHIT!!! And ( Read more... )

You know when you think things can't get any worse, and you've finally gotten through all the rough spots, something comes along so devastating it leaves your heart in your hand and you on your ass? The big question would be do you now throw your heart away or try get it working again. So our coach, Todd up and quit on us. Really, I blame the ( Read more... )

I most times find myself consuming myself with any form of drugs I can get my hands on, no matter at what cost and consuming insane amounts of alcohol along with. I get shit for it, but it sure as hell beats the pain I feel everytime I open my eyes. Two roomates down, one sister to go. I think I have cried more the past two weeks than I have my ( Read more... )

I called you the other night. Its amazing how much I just missed the sound of your voice. Its hard to believe the last time I talked to you was over a year ago, my step-mom was still pregnant. Its hard to believe that its been a little over 3 years since you moved. You moved on my birthday, it will forever go down as the worst birthday of my ( Read more... )

This week has had to have been one of the worst in a long time. Had to leave my baby, the first time EVER I have cried leaving home. I just didn't sob, I got in the car and bawled my eyes out for like 20 mins. It was so hard, I never would have imagined it was going to be that hard. Worked sucked, I just about quit, soccer sucked, I can't stand ( Read more... )

Time seems to be flying by faster an faster these days. Soccer has started. Its hard to believe that in about 2 weeks I will have been here for a year. A year is a hell of a long time. Ive gained so much but have lost so much at the same time. Ive moved somewhere new, had a fresh start, but lost the sense of security and knowing where I belong ( Read more... )

Somewhere along the way I became not good enough for you and I don't know the reasons why.

Sometimes I forget how much I really miss you. Then I spend time with you, or even see you and it hits me like a ton of bricks. I see all the things that compelled me about you in the beginning like new every week. I feel further away from you then ever, kinda ironic now that we live in the same city, not separated by large distances. But I ( Read more... )

So I was going to update earlier, but unfortunately I work 10 hour days b/c the crackhead they hired doesn't like to show up to work so I have to work her shift ( Read more... )