Beauty and the Geek (ch. 5)
Title: Beauty and the Geek
Chapter: 5/?
Author: socialriotbitch
Pairing: ReitaxRuki
Genre: AU, high school, humor
Rating: PG-13 (for now, though will be NC-17 in later chapters)
Warnings: MxM kissing, homophobia, loads of swearing (for now)
Summary: Everyone thought Suzuki Akira was the luckiest guy in the world.
Except Akira himself.
Disclaimer: Sorry, I don't own them.
Comment: Surprise?
Akira was honestly in awe. How one person managed to smile so much during one day, he had no idea. Yukata seemed like he was having the day of his life, and when Akira had asked Takanori if he was, Takanori's response had been to laugh and shrug his shoulders.
“Yutaka is always like this.”
Akira was currently sitting on a bench in a park, watching his boyfriend feeding ducks with his best friend. There was a flock of hungry birds in the pond in front of him, and at the edge sat Yutaka, crouched over with a loaf of bread in his hand, breaking off bits of it and throwing them into the water.
When about half the bread was left, Takanori announced that he wanted to rest his legs, ruffling Yutaka's hair and ignoring his whine as he sat down next to Akira, smiling. Smiling.
“You're in a good mood,” Akira stated, to which Takanori shrugged his shoulders.
“Yutaka is contagious.”
“I guess he is.” They sat for a while and just watched while Yutaka laughed and continued throwing bread into the pond. Occasionally, he would talk to the birds, an endearing sight to say the least. It was almost hard to believe this guy was as old as Takanori, when he had such a childlike aura about him. Childlike in a good way, because it made Akira feel less stressed, being around someone who got great enjoyment out of basically anything. Akira was sure he could shove this guy into the water, and he'd start laughing and swimming with the ducks.
“Aren't we a happy family,” Takanori suddenly said with the best goo-goo voice he could muster.
“Did you just call your best friend a child?”
“Look at him,” Takanori said, gesturing to Yutaka as he fell into the pond, shook the wet hair out of his eyes, laughed, and continued feeding the ducks. Akira was right about his theory.
“Well congratulations, you make a wonderful mother,” Akira joked, watching Yutaka intently while he continued breaking the bread into little pieces.
“And you'll be the strict father who comes home, yells at the dog for pooping on the floor, sweeps me off my feet and carries me to my bedroom where we make sweet love all night long.”
“You've watched too many films.”
“Maybe I have, but you can't deny that it would be terribly romantic.”
“Terribly is the right word.” After a couple of seconds, he added “Why the dog though?”
Takanori faked a gasp and stared at Akira. “Are you meaning to say you don't plan on having a dog?”
“I just don't see the point, it seems like a lot of work.”
“So is kids.”
“I never planned on having any.”
“Too bad. You're stuck with him now.”
Akira raised an eyebrow. “What do you mean?”
“He seems to like you, Suzuki. I told you he's a naïve little shit, and his judgement of character is horrible, but it appears to me that he really likes you.”
“What do you mean 'his judge of character is horrible'?!”
“Oh come on. Be completely honest with yourself and tell me; do you really think you make a wonderful, kind, caring friend for someone like him?”
“As a matter of fact, I do.” Akira hadn't meant to sound defensive, but he did, and Takanori laughed at him.
“Sure thing. And then Yuu or Kouyou stops by to say hello and he falls to the ground crying.”
Akira snapped his head to the side and stared at Takanori, who was watching Yutaka again. What did he just say?
“Oh my god, you really are an idiot,” Takanori sighed, shaking his head. He looked up at Akira, and this time there was that loathing expression again, the one Akira hadn't seen since the first time he talked to Takanori. “When I told you Yutaka used to go to our school, and he still lives in the same neighbourhood as me, why do you think he would change schools? Not because his parents moved. Not because the trip to school was shorter. Not because the teachers were better, or because he had friends at that school.”
Akira nodded silently as the realization finally sunk in, and he looked down at the ground and bit his lip. “Because he was bullied.”
“Yes, smart guy. Because he was bullied.” The venom dripping off Takanori's voice scared Akira, and he honestly didn't want to hear more, but Takanori had no mercy and leaned in to whisper in his ear. “Because every day, he was yelled at, thrown things at, given mocknames, called hurtful things, punched, kicked, beat up so much he came home with me crying. Every fucking day after school I would dab disinfectant on wounds, put bags of ice on swollen eyes and arms and legs and listen to Yutaka crying so much his throat was sore.”
“Stop,” Akira whispered, chewing his lips bloody as a lump grew in his throat.
“He didn't dare tell his parents. They knew. I knew that they knew. He was literally covered in bruises and cuts, and he limped more often than walked. His mother didn't do a shit about it, and it didn't help no matter how many times we went to the principal. Because the people who did this had families who refused to admit that their sons were bullies, and they would pay the principal to shut his mouth.”
“Please stop.”
“For half a year, Yutaka was tortured in school, and all the grown ups around us refused to do a shit about it. Until one day he was sent to the hospital, with several broken ribs and a dislocated jaw after two guys from school had beat him up. Yutaka later told me that they had kicked him with steel-toed boots until he was coughing up blood and begging them to stop, while they had yelled at him what a disgusting faggot he was and how they had to beat some sense into him.”
“I said stop,” Akira croaked out, and he fisted his hands so tightly his knuckles went white. He knew who had done that. He knew, because they were his best friends and they had come to him the next day, boasting about how they had sent a disgusting queer to the hospital.
“That day I visited his parents,” Takanori continued, but Akira noticed the quiver in his voice. “I yelled at them that unless they got Yutaka into another school, I would never let Yutaka go. I would keep him in my room all day and all night long, and he would drop out of school and stay with me for the rest of his life. Of course his parents couldn't live with that shame. Their wonderful, smart, perfect little son, quitting school to stay with his gay best friend? When Yutaka got out of the hospital, he changed to a different school. He never asked me about it and I don't know what his parents told him, but he was just grateful to be able to get away.”
A tear slid down Akira's cheek and he wiped it up before it reached his chin, taking a deep breath and straightening his back. He didn't want to know that. He didn't need to know that. He knew how horrible his friends could be, but he always told himself that he didn't have to care, because it didn't affect him. It wasn't his problem. But now it was, and as Akira watched Yutaka, who had been obliviously feeding ducks during the entire ordeal, for the first time in his life he questioned his choice in friends.
“What about you?” Akira must have whispered, because at first Takanori didn't hear, he just cocked his head to the side.
“Did you say something?”
“Do they bully you?” The words hurt to say, but Akira needed to say them. A growing fear was starting to settle in his gut, and he didn't like it at all. He needed an answer, needed to know if he was right in his suspicions, because if he was then someone was going to pay.
“Not as much as Yutaka. They call me names, they've beat me up a few times but nothing serious. They stopped after I hit Kouyou in the head with a bat.”
Akira couldn't help but laugh at that. “Fuck, that was you?! He was complaining about a headache for a week!”
Takanori grinned smugly, adjusting his glasses as he leaned back against the bench. “Yep, that was me. I'm sorry if I'm ruining your dreams of riding over on a white horse and saving your damsel in distress, but I'm not as defenceless as you might think.”
“You're badass. You're the first guy who ever dared do something like that.”
“I refuse to be another one of their victims.”
“Well fuck. That explains why Kouyou hates you so much.”
“Has he said anything?”
“Not really. He sent me a couple of texts, but I didn't read them all.” Akira realised his mistake as Takanori snatched his phone from his pocket and opened it.
“Fuck! Give me that back!” Akira tried to steal his phone back, but Takanori grabbed his arms and held them as he used his other hand to scroll. “I mean it, Takanori. Give me my phone back!”
As Takanori read, his face scrunched up in disgust. He was seething with anger, and Akira shut up for fear of what Takanori would do if he said anything. Suddenly, Takanori got up and threw his phone at him, and Akira barely caught it before it fell on the ground. When he looked up, Takanori was running away, his back turned towards him as he sprinted. Fuck, he was fast.
Akira didn't even try to follow him, in stead he scrolled down to the first texts he had gotten, the ones that he had read already, and started reading from there.
19/03, 17:36
From: Yuu
This is fucking outrageous. Text me back, Aki. I can't lose you like this. I talked to Kouyou and the guy you kissed, he's bad. He's evil. You need to stay the fuck away from him. He'll hurt you.
19/03, 17:48
From: Kouyou
You can't be gay, Akira. You fucking can't. I'll do anything I can to help you, if you need someone to talk to, I'm here, I'll help you out of it. It's just a phase. You can get over it.
19/03, 17:51
From: Yuu
I mean this, Akira. That guy's bad news, he's a fucking dipshit. He's probably just playing you to get your money or whatever, don't believe a word he says. He doesn't love you. No man can love another man. He's just trying to fuck your life up, can't you see that!
19/03, 19:24
From: Kouyou
Look man, I get that you're confused. You probably think you love him but that's just not how it works. It's a man and a woman. A dick and a cunt. He's just trying to brainwash you. I can help you. I won't lose you. I'm not giving up on you, just call me or text me and I'll help you out.
20/03, 10:13
From: Yuu
I'm at Kouyou's place. Skip school, come here. We'll help you.
20/03, 10:57
From: Yuu
I'm serious. Get your ass over here now or I'll take that as you choosing him over us. Fuck it, haven't I been here for you all your life? Haven't I helped you out with your family? Haven't I been a good friend to you all these years? Are you seriously going to ditch me just for that disgusting queer? You get a choice, Akira. Either you come with us, or you go with him.
20/03, 16:24
From: Yuu
You're an idiot, Akira. I knew you were dumb but I didn't know you were such an idiot that you would choose an asshole over your best friends. That's it. You've made your choice. Fuck you. We're not the kind of people you want as your enemies, Akira, but you'll realise that soon enough. You've made the biggest mistake of your life.
Fucking faggot.
Akira was furious. He halfway wanted to throw his phone in the pond, but his parents would have killed him. He wasn't a faggot. Yuu was jumping to conclusions. Just because he had a boyfriend who he had happened to kiss a couple of times, it didn't mean he was gay. He just needed a good grade.
What the fuck did Kouyou mean? 'I can help'? What was he going to do, beat the gay out of him, like he had apparently tried to do with Yutaka? Or did he think he could save him from the horrible curse of homosexuality? Everything Akira had heard from his parents, his friends, about sexuality came back to him. Every single word they'd said about how disgusting homos were hit him in the face like a punch. If Kouyou thought he could save Akira then he was an idiot. Akira didn't need saving.
His phone buzzed in his hands, and Akira read the text that had arrived.
21/03, 13:11
From: Kouyou
Where are you? You're not at home, and your mother says you're with a friend. Who is it? If it's that little shit Takanori then I'm done with you, Akira. You've betrayed your two best friends, for a complete loser. I tried not to give up on you, Aki, but this does it. You're a fucking idiot.
Just as Akira was about to scream something at his phone, it started ringing. It vibrated in his hand and the screen blinked to show the caller ID. Kouyou was trying to call him. Akira stared at the phone, wanting nothing more than to pick up and yell profanities, but he didn't. He waited. He waited silently until the phone stopped ringing, and then two minutes later he got another text.
21/03, 13:14
From: Kouyou
You can't hide from me. I'll find you. I'll fucking find you and that little shit and I'll beat you up so bad you won't ever dare betray your friends ever again. When I'm done with you you'll be begging for your pathetic life, begging me to spare you. You can't hide forever.
Akira closed his phone and put it back in his pocket, taking a deep breath. Shit. Kouyou was looking for him. This was bad. He would never find out where Akira was, it was a Saturday, so he couldn't ask the principal for Takanori's address. But he was right. Akira couldn't hide forever. He had to go back to school on Monday.
Akira's heart was in his throat, and he tried desperately to shove it back down. Stay calm. Breathe. You can talk him out of it. You can convince him that you're still straight. You can tell him the truth if you have to, that you're just pretending to be with Takanori so you'll pass. Having your reputation ruined is nothing compared to having every bone in your body broken.
Yutaka sat down next to him, apparently having run out of bread, and placed a hand on Akira's knee. He bit his lip, awkwardly trying to figure out what to say, and he ended up just asking Akira straight up. “What happened? Where's Takanori?”
“Kou-” Akira coughed and corrected himself. This was not a good time. “Some friends of mine texted me. A lot of homophobic bullshit. Takanori read it and he didn't take it well, so he ran away.”
Yutaka nodded slowly. “He's like that. He probably just needs some time to himself. And you? Are you okay?”
Akira didn't know why he did it. It seemed at that time like the most natural thing in the world to do. Maybe it was because Yutaka was so nice. Maybe it was because he didn't know Akira well. Whatever the reason, for the first time in his life, Akira broke down. He started crying hysterically, slinging his arms around Yutaka's waist and burying his face in his shoulder.
Yutaka rubbed his back, holding him tight while Akira cried. He was grateful that Yutaka didn't say anything. Right now, there were too many emotions, too much confusion, too many questions in his head and Akira couldn't bare it, and so he cried. He cried until there were no more tears to cry, and he just sobbed and clung to Yutaka like he was a teddy bear.
“There there,” Yutaka whispered in his ear, rubbing Akira's back and still hugging him, something Akira was grateful for. “I don't know what they said, but you shouldn't listen to them. Whatever they said, they're just confused and scared of things that are different, things they don't understand. People are like that. They are scared of what they don't know, and some of them just don't handle it very well. They get angry because they don't understand, angry and hurt and cold. And they take it out on anyone who is different. And everything they say, they just say because they're angry. They say it to hurt, but you mustn't let them hurt you. They're just confused.”
Akira sobbed again. “They called me a faggot.”
“But you're not.”
“Aren't I?” As Akira realised what he just said, he stood up, covering his mouth with his hands. He looked at Yutaka, terrified and confused at the same time, before he started crying again. Standing up from the bench, Yutaka wrapped his arms around Akira and hugged him tightly, letting him cry.
“Do you love him?” That question took Akira aback and he wailed loudly, shaking in Yutaka's hold.
“No. Yes. No. I don't know. I don't think so. Fuck!” Akira wiped at his tears and sat down, folding his arms in his lap and staring at them like he expected all the answers to come if he did that long enough. “I mean, he's an asshole and he's a dipshit but he's smart. And funny. And maybe just a little bit pretty but you're never telling him that or he won't shut up for a week.”
Yutaka nodded, and Akira continued blabbering. “And it felt good to kiss him. I mean it did. Really. He sucks at kissing but fuck it Yutaka, I felt something. I felt something I haven't felt before with any woman and it was weird but I can't deny what I felt and it felt good. I never thought lips tasted anything but his taste like morning dew and I really like morning dew. Really really like it. And I've only known him properly for three days and it confuses the hell out of me. I shouldn't feel this way. And all this time, the only question I'm left with is: am I gay?”
“That was quite a mouthful,” Yutaka laughed, grabbing Akira's hands that were still folded in his lap, and Akira wondered if Yutaka felt the stare he was boring into them. “But whatever happened, whatever you felt, you need to be honest with yourself.”
“I'm trying.”
“I know.”
“I really am.”
“Sometimes it's not that easy being honest with yourself. You're confused, and I get it, but you need to stop focusing so much on it. You need to stop thinking and start feeling. I know that you're probably overthinking this. I know exactly how you feel now because I've felt the same way. You feel like you don't know yourself, that everything has been a lie, that everything you've ever liked about a woman is irrelevant because it was never true.”
Yutaka chewed his lip before he continued, and Akira wondered how the inside of his mouth looked. “Falling in love is never easy. And it's definitely not easy when you fall in love with someone you would never have expected to fall in love with. You're confused, you're scared, and you're wondering why you couldn't just be normal like everyone else. But falling in love with one guy isn't the same as loving guys in general.”
“I'm not even sure I love him.”
“There you have it. You might not love him at all. You're a teenager, Akira, you're going through puberty. Your hormones are raging and you might feel like you're in love when you're not. What I would advise is that you stop thinking about it and wait. Wait and see. And if you really do love Takanori, then you start thinking.”
“How do I know if I love him or not?”
“You'll know when the time comes. But right now, that's not relevant. Right now, you need to tell me why you seemed scared out of your mind when I came up to you.”
Akira took a deep breath, grabbing Yutaka's hand.
“Kouyou is trying to find me.” He ignored the frown that appeared on Yutaka's face. “He said he's going to kick my ass.”
“Does he know where you are?”
“No, but I have to go back to school on Monday.”
“But you're strong. Isn't there any way you can win the fight?”
“Not against both him and Yuu.”
“Call the police? Threatening is illegal.”
“They've got the cops by the balls. Nobody dares lift a finger against them, because their parents are rich enough to make one hell of a mess out of it if their sons are falsely accused with something.”
“But it won't be false.”
“Tell that to the corrupt judge.”
“Oh.”
A long silence ensued, during which Yutaka seemed to try to think of a way to solve the problem. In the end, he gave up, and Akira let out a deep sigh. “I'm dead, aren't I?”
“Yes,” a familiar voice came from in front of them, and both Akira and Yutaka looked up to see Takanori standing with his arms crossed, looking furious as ever. “Yes you are.”
A/N: Oooooh, cliffhanger~ I'm making Kouyou out to be an idiot. Yuu as well. Sorry babies, but it was ncessary for the plot! Anygay, This is my coming-back-gift. More will be coming soon, but I am so tired from travelling and drama that I need to sleep now.
Chapter: 5/?
Author: socialriotbitch
Pairing: ReitaxRuki
Genre: AU, high school, humor
Rating: PG-13 (for now, though will be NC-17 in later chapters)
Warnings: MxM kissing, homophobia, loads of swearing (for now)
Summary: Everyone thought Suzuki Akira was the luckiest guy in the world.
Except Akira himself.
Disclaimer: Sorry, I don't own them.
Comment: Surprise?
Akira was honestly in awe. How one person managed to smile so much during one day, he had no idea. Yukata seemed like he was having the day of his life, and when Akira had asked Takanori if he was, Takanori's response had been to laugh and shrug his shoulders.
“Yutaka is always like this.”
Akira was currently sitting on a bench in a park, watching his boyfriend feeding ducks with his best friend. There was a flock of hungry birds in the pond in front of him, and at the edge sat Yutaka, crouched over with a loaf of bread in his hand, breaking off bits of it and throwing them into the water.
When about half the bread was left, Takanori announced that he wanted to rest his legs, ruffling Yutaka's hair and ignoring his whine as he sat down next to Akira, smiling. Smiling.
“You're in a good mood,” Akira stated, to which Takanori shrugged his shoulders.
“Yutaka is contagious.”
“I guess he is.” They sat for a while and just watched while Yutaka laughed and continued throwing bread into the pond. Occasionally, he would talk to the birds, an endearing sight to say the least. It was almost hard to believe this guy was as old as Takanori, when he had such a childlike aura about him. Childlike in a good way, because it made Akira feel less stressed, being around someone who got great enjoyment out of basically anything. Akira was sure he could shove this guy into the water, and he'd start laughing and swimming with the ducks.
“Aren't we a happy family,” Takanori suddenly said with the best goo-goo voice he could muster.
“Did you just call your best friend a child?”
“Look at him,” Takanori said, gesturing to Yutaka as he fell into the pond, shook the wet hair out of his eyes, laughed, and continued feeding the ducks. Akira was right about his theory.
“Well congratulations, you make a wonderful mother,” Akira joked, watching Yutaka intently while he continued breaking the bread into little pieces.
“And you'll be the strict father who comes home, yells at the dog for pooping on the floor, sweeps me off my feet and carries me to my bedroom where we make sweet love all night long.”
“You've watched too many films.”
“Maybe I have, but you can't deny that it would be terribly romantic.”
“Terribly is the right word.” After a couple of seconds, he added “Why the dog though?”
Takanori faked a gasp and stared at Akira. “Are you meaning to say you don't plan on having a dog?”
“I just don't see the point, it seems like a lot of work.”
“So is kids.”
“I never planned on having any.”
“Too bad. You're stuck with him now.”
Akira raised an eyebrow. “What do you mean?”
“He seems to like you, Suzuki. I told you he's a naïve little shit, and his judgement of character is horrible, but it appears to me that he really likes you.”
“What do you mean 'his judge of character is horrible'?!”
“Oh come on. Be completely honest with yourself and tell me; do you really think you make a wonderful, kind, caring friend for someone like him?”
“As a matter of fact, I do.” Akira hadn't meant to sound defensive, but he did, and Takanori laughed at him.
“Sure thing. And then Yuu or Kouyou stops by to say hello and he falls to the ground crying.”
Akira snapped his head to the side and stared at Takanori, who was watching Yutaka again. What did he just say?
“Oh my god, you really are an idiot,” Takanori sighed, shaking his head. He looked up at Akira, and this time there was that loathing expression again, the one Akira hadn't seen since the first time he talked to Takanori. “When I told you Yutaka used to go to our school, and he still lives in the same neighbourhood as me, why do you think he would change schools? Not because his parents moved. Not because the trip to school was shorter. Not because the teachers were better, or because he had friends at that school.”
Akira nodded silently as the realization finally sunk in, and he looked down at the ground and bit his lip. “Because he was bullied.”
“Yes, smart guy. Because he was bullied.” The venom dripping off Takanori's voice scared Akira, and he honestly didn't want to hear more, but Takanori had no mercy and leaned in to whisper in his ear. “Because every day, he was yelled at, thrown things at, given mocknames, called hurtful things, punched, kicked, beat up so much he came home with me crying. Every fucking day after school I would dab disinfectant on wounds, put bags of ice on swollen eyes and arms and legs and listen to Yutaka crying so much his throat was sore.”
“Stop,” Akira whispered, chewing his lips bloody as a lump grew in his throat.
“He didn't dare tell his parents. They knew. I knew that they knew. He was literally covered in bruises and cuts, and he limped more often than walked. His mother didn't do a shit about it, and it didn't help no matter how many times we went to the principal. Because the people who did this had families who refused to admit that their sons were bullies, and they would pay the principal to shut his mouth.”
“Please stop.”
“For half a year, Yutaka was tortured in school, and all the grown ups around us refused to do a shit about it. Until one day he was sent to the hospital, with several broken ribs and a dislocated jaw after two guys from school had beat him up. Yutaka later told me that they had kicked him with steel-toed boots until he was coughing up blood and begging them to stop, while they had yelled at him what a disgusting faggot he was and how they had to beat some sense into him.”
“I said stop,” Akira croaked out, and he fisted his hands so tightly his knuckles went white. He knew who had done that. He knew, because they were his best friends and they had come to him the next day, boasting about how they had sent a disgusting queer to the hospital.
“That day I visited his parents,” Takanori continued, but Akira noticed the quiver in his voice. “I yelled at them that unless they got Yutaka into another school, I would never let Yutaka go. I would keep him in my room all day and all night long, and he would drop out of school and stay with me for the rest of his life. Of course his parents couldn't live with that shame. Their wonderful, smart, perfect little son, quitting school to stay with his gay best friend? When Yutaka got out of the hospital, he changed to a different school. He never asked me about it and I don't know what his parents told him, but he was just grateful to be able to get away.”
A tear slid down Akira's cheek and he wiped it up before it reached his chin, taking a deep breath and straightening his back. He didn't want to know that. He didn't need to know that. He knew how horrible his friends could be, but he always told himself that he didn't have to care, because it didn't affect him. It wasn't his problem. But now it was, and as Akira watched Yutaka, who had been obliviously feeding ducks during the entire ordeal, for the first time in his life he questioned his choice in friends.
“What about you?” Akira must have whispered, because at first Takanori didn't hear, he just cocked his head to the side.
“Did you say something?”
“Do they bully you?” The words hurt to say, but Akira needed to say them. A growing fear was starting to settle in his gut, and he didn't like it at all. He needed an answer, needed to know if he was right in his suspicions, because if he was then someone was going to pay.
“Not as much as Yutaka. They call me names, they've beat me up a few times but nothing serious. They stopped after I hit Kouyou in the head with a bat.”
Akira couldn't help but laugh at that. “Fuck, that was you?! He was complaining about a headache for a week!”
Takanori grinned smugly, adjusting his glasses as he leaned back against the bench. “Yep, that was me. I'm sorry if I'm ruining your dreams of riding over on a white horse and saving your damsel in distress, but I'm not as defenceless as you might think.”
“You're badass. You're the first guy who ever dared do something like that.”
“I refuse to be another one of their victims.”
“Well fuck. That explains why Kouyou hates you so much.”
“Has he said anything?”
“Not really. He sent me a couple of texts, but I didn't read them all.” Akira realised his mistake as Takanori snatched his phone from his pocket and opened it.
“Fuck! Give me that back!” Akira tried to steal his phone back, but Takanori grabbed his arms and held them as he used his other hand to scroll. “I mean it, Takanori. Give me my phone back!”
As Takanori read, his face scrunched up in disgust. He was seething with anger, and Akira shut up for fear of what Takanori would do if he said anything. Suddenly, Takanori got up and threw his phone at him, and Akira barely caught it before it fell on the ground. When he looked up, Takanori was running away, his back turned towards him as he sprinted. Fuck, he was fast.
Akira didn't even try to follow him, in stead he scrolled down to the first texts he had gotten, the ones that he had read already, and started reading from there.
19/03, 17:36
From: Yuu
This is fucking outrageous. Text me back, Aki. I can't lose you like this. I talked to Kouyou and the guy you kissed, he's bad. He's evil. You need to stay the fuck away from him. He'll hurt you.
19/03, 17:48
From: Kouyou
You can't be gay, Akira. You fucking can't. I'll do anything I can to help you, if you need someone to talk to, I'm here, I'll help you out of it. It's just a phase. You can get over it.
19/03, 17:51
From: Yuu
I mean this, Akira. That guy's bad news, he's a fucking dipshit. He's probably just playing you to get your money or whatever, don't believe a word he says. He doesn't love you. No man can love another man. He's just trying to fuck your life up, can't you see that!
19/03, 19:24
From: Kouyou
Look man, I get that you're confused. You probably think you love him but that's just not how it works. It's a man and a woman. A dick and a cunt. He's just trying to brainwash you. I can help you. I won't lose you. I'm not giving up on you, just call me or text me and I'll help you out.
20/03, 10:13
From: Yuu
I'm at Kouyou's place. Skip school, come here. We'll help you.
20/03, 10:57
From: Yuu
I'm serious. Get your ass over here now or I'll take that as you choosing him over us. Fuck it, haven't I been here for you all your life? Haven't I helped you out with your family? Haven't I been a good friend to you all these years? Are you seriously going to ditch me just for that disgusting queer? You get a choice, Akira. Either you come with us, or you go with him.
20/03, 16:24
From: Yuu
You're an idiot, Akira. I knew you were dumb but I didn't know you were such an idiot that you would choose an asshole over your best friends. That's it. You've made your choice. Fuck you. We're not the kind of people you want as your enemies, Akira, but you'll realise that soon enough. You've made the biggest mistake of your life.
Fucking faggot.
Akira was furious. He halfway wanted to throw his phone in the pond, but his parents would have killed him. He wasn't a faggot. Yuu was jumping to conclusions. Just because he had a boyfriend who he had happened to kiss a couple of times, it didn't mean he was gay. He just needed a good grade.
What the fuck did Kouyou mean? 'I can help'? What was he going to do, beat the gay out of him, like he had apparently tried to do with Yutaka? Or did he think he could save him from the horrible curse of homosexuality? Everything Akira had heard from his parents, his friends, about sexuality came back to him. Every single word they'd said about how disgusting homos were hit him in the face like a punch. If Kouyou thought he could save Akira then he was an idiot. Akira didn't need saving.
His phone buzzed in his hands, and Akira read the text that had arrived.
21/03, 13:11
From: Kouyou
Where are you? You're not at home, and your mother says you're with a friend. Who is it? If it's that little shit Takanori then I'm done with you, Akira. You've betrayed your two best friends, for a complete loser. I tried not to give up on you, Aki, but this does it. You're a fucking idiot.
Just as Akira was about to scream something at his phone, it started ringing. It vibrated in his hand and the screen blinked to show the caller ID. Kouyou was trying to call him. Akira stared at the phone, wanting nothing more than to pick up and yell profanities, but he didn't. He waited. He waited silently until the phone stopped ringing, and then two minutes later he got another text.
21/03, 13:14
From: Kouyou
You can't hide from me. I'll find you. I'll fucking find you and that little shit and I'll beat you up so bad you won't ever dare betray your friends ever again. When I'm done with you you'll be begging for your pathetic life, begging me to spare you. You can't hide forever.
Akira closed his phone and put it back in his pocket, taking a deep breath. Shit. Kouyou was looking for him. This was bad. He would never find out where Akira was, it was a Saturday, so he couldn't ask the principal for Takanori's address. But he was right. Akira couldn't hide forever. He had to go back to school on Monday.
Akira's heart was in his throat, and he tried desperately to shove it back down. Stay calm. Breathe. You can talk him out of it. You can convince him that you're still straight. You can tell him the truth if you have to, that you're just pretending to be with Takanori so you'll pass. Having your reputation ruined is nothing compared to having every bone in your body broken.
Yutaka sat down next to him, apparently having run out of bread, and placed a hand on Akira's knee. He bit his lip, awkwardly trying to figure out what to say, and he ended up just asking Akira straight up. “What happened? Where's Takanori?”
“Kou-” Akira coughed and corrected himself. This was not a good time. “Some friends of mine texted me. A lot of homophobic bullshit. Takanori read it and he didn't take it well, so he ran away.”
Yutaka nodded slowly. “He's like that. He probably just needs some time to himself. And you? Are you okay?”
Akira didn't know why he did it. It seemed at that time like the most natural thing in the world to do. Maybe it was because Yutaka was so nice. Maybe it was because he didn't know Akira well. Whatever the reason, for the first time in his life, Akira broke down. He started crying hysterically, slinging his arms around Yutaka's waist and burying his face in his shoulder.
Yutaka rubbed his back, holding him tight while Akira cried. He was grateful that Yutaka didn't say anything. Right now, there were too many emotions, too much confusion, too many questions in his head and Akira couldn't bare it, and so he cried. He cried until there were no more tears to cry, and he just sobbed and clung to Yutaka like he was a teddy bear.
“There there,” Yutaka whispered in his ear, rubbing Akira's back and still hugging him, something Akira was grateful for. “I don't know what they said, but you shouldn't listen to them. Whatever they said, they're just confused and scared of things that are different, things they don't understand. People are like that. They are scared of what they don't know, and some of them just don't handle it very well. They get angry because they don't understand, angry and hurt and cold. And they take it out on anyone who is different. And everything they say, they just say because they're angry. They say it to hurt, but you mustn't let them hurt you. They're just confused.”
Akira sobbed again. “They called me a faggot.”
“But you're not.”
“Aren't I?” As Akira realised what he just said, he stood up, covering his mouth with his hands. He looked at Yutaka, terrified and confused at the same time, before he started crying again. Standing up from the bench, Yutaka wrapped his arms around Akira and hugged him tightly, letting him cry.
“Do you love him?” That question took Akira aback and he wailed loudly, shaking in Yutaka's hold.
“No. Yes. No. I don't know. I don't think so. Fuck!” Akira wiped at his tears and sat down, folding his arms in his lap and staring at them like he expected all the answers to come if he did that long enough. “I mean, he's an asshole and he's a dipshit but he's smart. And funny. And maybe just a little bit pretty but you're never telling him that or he won't shut up for a week.”
Yutaka nodded, and Akira continued blabbering. “And it felt good to kiss him. I mean it did. Really. He sucks at kissing but fuck it Yutaka, I felt something. I felt something I haven't felt before with any woman and it was weird but I can't deny what I felt and it felt good. I never thought lips tasted anything but his taste like morning dew and I really like morning dew. Really really like it. And I've only known him properly for three days and it confuses the hell out of me. I shouldn't feel this way. And all this time, the only question I'm left with is: am I gay?”
“That was quite a mouthful,” Yutaka laughed, grabbing Akira's hands that were still folded in his lap, and Akira wondered if Yutaka felt the stare he was boring into them. “But whatever happened, whatever you felt, you need to be honest with yourself.”
“I'm trying.”
“I know.”
“I really am.”
“Sometimes it's not that easy being honest with yourself. You're confused, and I get it, but you need to stop focusing so much on it. You need to stop thinking and start feeling. I know that you're probably overthinking this. I know exactly how you feel now because I've felt the same way. You feel like you don't know yourself, that everything has been a lie, that everything you've ever liked about a woman is irrelevant because it was never true.”
Yutaka chewed his lip before he continued, and Akira wondered how the inside of his mouth looked. “Falling in love is never easy. And it's definitely not easy when you fall in love with someone you would never have expected to fall in love with. You're confused, you're scared, and you're wondering why you couldn't just be normal like everyone else. But falling in love with one guy isn't the same as loving guys in general.”
“I'm not even sure I love him.”
“There you have it. You might not love him at all. You're a teenager, Akira, you're going through puberty. Your hormones are raging and you might feel like you're in love when you're not. What I would advise is that you stop thinking about it and wait. Wait and see. And if you really do love Takanori, then you start thinking.”
“How do I know if I love him or not?”
“You'll know when the time comes. But right now, that's not relevant. Right now, you need to tell me why you seemed scared out of your mind when I came up to you.”
Akira took a deep breath, grabbing Yutaka's hand.
“Kouyou is trying to find me.” He ignored the frown that appeared on Yutaka's face. “He said he's going to kick my ass.”
“Does he know where you are?”
“No, but I have to go back to school on Monday.”
“But you're strong. Isn't there any way you can win the fight?”
“Not against both him and Yuu.”
“Call the police? Threatening is illegal.”
“They've got the cops by the balls. Nobody dares lift a finger against them, because their parents are rich enough to make one hell of a mess out of it if their sons are falsely accused with something.”
“But it won't be false.”
“Tell that to the corrupt judge.”
“Oh.”
A long silence ensued, during which Yutaka seemed to try to think of a way to solve the problem. In the end, he gave up, and Akira let out a deep sigh. “I'm dead, aren't I?”
“Yes,” a familiar voice came from in front of them, and both Akira and Yutaka looked up to see Takanori standing with his arms crossed, looking furious as ever. “Yes you are.”
A/N: Oooooh, cliffhanger~ I'm making Kouyou out to be an idiot. Yuu as well. Sorry babies, but it was ncessary for the plot! Anygay, This is my coming-back-gift. More will be coming soon, but I am so tired from travelling and drama that I need to sleep now.