I'm such a bad girl
I apologize in advance for what you may or may not read. It's a pretty big rant. And there's a hefty amount of cursing, courtesy of my rage and woe and all that cal.
How fucking typical of my wonderful, loving parents. At times, I sit down in my thinking chair and wish I was a party animal extraordinaire, oh how I wish to be like everyone else my fucking age. Going out being so mature and drinking and giving blowjobs and getting fucked without even knowing it. Gosh, it's so cool, so awesome. So fucking awesome. I'm so tired of this. What harm am I causing?
WHAT
HARM
AM
I
CAUSING
What is so bad about me talking on the phone late? Especially when you don't get charges on the cellphone and my god, what does me being about...3 rooms and a hallway do to you? Why, WHY must you insist on giving me a fucking curfew in the FUCKING SUMMER.
Why is it that everything I do affects everything else. Daily matters are daily matters. Saturday, Alex/Danny and I are supposed to FINALLY see Transformers, when last fucking week I was denied seeing it with them even after buying the tickets AHEAD OF TIME. Thinking about it pisses me off beyond all limits, because it's like, my parents act like fucking retired people. They're like, "Wah wah I'm tired" KEEP YOUR FUCKING WORK STRESS AT HOME YOU FUCKING CUNTS. HOLY SHIT. Why must you mesh your work stress with house stress. "I'm stressed about your fifteens" OKAY?
Wow, fuck me, FUCK ME, they're talking shit down stairs. Every time they do this ridiculous bullshit I want to die. Do you know that? Do you know that? Alright, now you know that. Every god damned time this happens, I lose faith in everything. Because if I ever do anything, it's to impress my parents. Or to be special to them. But this obviously isn't working. I'm starting to dislike my family. Lately, this is all they are. Talk shit about Karina. OF COURSE IT WAS MY FUCKING FRIENDS WHO CALLED REALLY LATE. MINE SPECIFICALLY. NO CHANCES OF IT BEING ANOTHER PERSON. RIGHT?
I am just so fed up. Honestly. Why can't I be sick in the mind, maybe at least I'd be fucking spared from this constant ridiculous bullshit life. Why can't life be like school or some bullshit, so I can haul ass to the office and sit in the nurses office. In which case, if life were like that I'd be in there every day.
It's something so simple, so stupid. Why does it have to be made into a sin? Why is it so bad? Why why why why why why why. Like Transformers, what harm is it wasting gas? I understand you guys work hard, have stress, money doesn't grow on trees. But what is one medium of expenses to your kid's happiness? Obviously the gas is more imporant.
But that's all besides the point. When I see shit like this, it makes me think less of my future. Example, I don't want kids. If I do, just one. Why?
1. I'm afraid of being a bad parent
2. I don't want to be this raging dickhead monster every parent has to be
3. I'm afraid of birth
4. Kids are little hastles too.
And just, ugh. Why.