I seem to be writing in this only when things are really horrible. They're really horrible again. I got this letter from Carol today on my bed. this is what it says ( Read more... )

It sucks when you need to put words down but you don't really have a place to put them. I feel really hurt and betrayed more than I've ever felt before and I'm afraid I'm just going to let myself continue to get hurt because I want to be loved. Isn't that stupid? I know...I'm smarter than that, I deserve better, but I can't help it I want to fix ( Read more... )

Its not even been two months since my last journal entry and my life has totally changed again. In that entry I considered what it would be like to make the choice to leave. Right now I'm having to make the choice of how much I should fight to stay ( Read more... )

Wow its been over a year. I could write about what has happened in that amount of time but I rather not ( Read more... )

holy crap...i'm about ready to lose it...there are the three vocalist in the bump lounge...who are being entirely too noisy...its usually so peaceful in here...but their voices are cutting through...there singing...and making weird noises...they can't be quiet....i'm so tempted to tell them to shut up...but what right do i have!? its not like i can ( Read more... )

Ok so its been a couple of days. But I had a really cool night Thrusday. I went with Megan, Mary, Raven and Kristen to Portland and went to a bar. We started out at Dixie, and I did like all my drinking there...because by the time we left and headed to another bar, I was pretty happy with the world. We ended up picking up three people. One of them ( Read more... )

Well I'd like to say that my disgruntness has disappeared ( Read more... )

I wish I wasn't always criticizing myself for complaining so much...cuz then I could complain all I wanted without having to later feel guilty about it ( Read more... )

I'm grumpy...but i really don't want to be bitching about in the long run terribly unsignificant things...especially since I've tried to so hard to not be bothered by silly little things, why get grumpy now....ok I'll switch to I'm slightly grumpy, but totally ok with dealing with it....ahh life...

its late and its been awhile since I've updated...but i think i'm awake enough to post one entry ( Read more... )