Gift fic for sheeplikeme
Title: Why don’t you just drop down from the sky?
Pairing: Mike/Kevin, implied Kurt/Blaine and Rachel/Finn
Recipient: sheeplikeme
Prompt: My Dream Fic Includes:1) Noir Detectives 2) Humour 3)Always a girl!Kevin or always a girl!Kevin&Mike 4)Any fusion fics with Castle, Leverage, Star Trek, Star Wars, or Glee
Word count: 4100
Rating: PG-13 for swearing.
Summary: Kevilynn Jonas is a choreographer in New York. This is her story.
Warning: Always-a-girl!Kevin, ridiculousness, drinking, Harlequin references, ridiculousness, Glee crossover, no respect for any kind of canon, a lot of handwaving.
Notes: Thanks to akire_yta for the awesome and speedy beta, and for giving me an Internet. Thank you very much. To sheeplikeme, I hope you like your gift. At first I tried to cram as much as the prompts as I could into one fic. But then it turned out that I can’t actually write Noir Detectives stories no matter how hard I wish for it. But the idea is forever going to be living in my head and for that I thank you. There is a mix that goes with it that I will upload later as I have just lost my phone/mp3 player and need to remember what songs and what the order was.
Kevilynn fell in love for the first time when she was 7.
She caught ‘The Nutcracker’ on TV around Christmas and it was a revelation. It had felt like she had stopped breathing, eyes riveted to the screen. She couldn’t even remember what was happening around her, Joe and Nick running around, her Mom peeping into the living room to tell them to calm down. Nothing. Nothing but the music and how beautiful everything was, the way the ballerinas seemed to be gliding across the stage, and how much she needed to be a part of something like this. There weren't enough words in her vocabulary to express how much she felt that day, apart from love.
She badgered her mom for months after that, until she’d been allowed to take ballet lessons. And she never regretted it.
***
When Kevilynn gets her first real, big cheque as a choreographer, hired for more than six months at a time, she buys herself a flat. The cheque is not as big as what her brothers earn as 'Disney superstars' but it's the first paycheck she ever had that doesn't require intense budgeting. So she gets herself a gorgeous flat in New York. It's in an old old townhouse, recently renovated; it's huge and the second love of her life, after dancing.
The realtor tells her that the three other tenants are also artists. There are talks about soundproofing, and how helpful the artist community is around here but Kevilynn doesn't register any of that, her minds replaying the realtor 'are artists too' on a loop. She's an artist now. She gets paid to do what she would have done for free as a kid...there is probably no way life could get any better for her! And if she can't stop smiling the smile of the ridiculously happy for days after that, nobody seems to mind.
She's 25 and she finally finished reimbursing her student loans; as far as the real world is concerned, Paula Kevilynn Jonas is an adult and an artist.
***
A year after she moves in, the empty flat across from hers finally gets rented.
She meets the woman, briefly, in the morning, saying nothing more than a quiet 'hello' as she passes her by. The woman -- Rachel as Kevilynn will come to learn the following morning -- doesn't answer. She is too busy focusing on the way the movers are handling a baby grand.
Kevilynn wonders if one day she will get to play that beautiful piano, if those neighbors will end up becoming friends. She wonders about that on her way to work but then the dance gets a hold of her and she forgets about everything.
***
Kevilynn has never been in love with anyone and she thinks it's kind of sad. She is a 27-year-old-successful, graduated-from-Julliard-choreographer, merrily on her way to becoming the owner of the most gorgeous flat in all of New York (she still owes some money --quite a hefty sum actually -- to the bank). She is awesome! Her little brothers say so all the time.
" Sweetie, I don't know how to tell you that but I think your brain to mouth filter died half an hour ago," the blurry shape at the corner of her eyes says.
"Wassat?" Kevilynn asks. It is possible that she's drunk. She wouldn't know, she rarely if ever drinks any alcohol. She is an athlete. She doesn't look like it and according to some people dancing is not a sport but she knows better. She could probably bench press Kurt and Rachel under table, because she's awesome.
" Seriously, Kev, you need to do something about your inner voice becoming your... outside voice, or whatever it is called" the blurry shape-- Kurt --continues.
" Let her express herself, Kurt! Don't be a hater of joy!" Rachel interrupts, just as drunk as Kevilynn is, probably. Kev' heard stories about Rachel's alcohol tolerance, and it's not that glorious.
" I want to be in love" Kevilynn says out loud, just in case this part of her inner monologue got lost in translation.
" Yeah" Kurt shots back dryly, " I think we all got that part loud and clear."
***
Kevilynn remembers a time when Rachel and Kurt were just the weird neighbors she thought were involved in a threesome with that ridiculously dressed guy. It turns out Blaine is Kurt's boyfriend and has been so -- on and off -- since high school. The really tall guy is Kurt's brother and Rachel's boyfriend. Kev's got a headache just thinking about it but she makes do.
" Maybe a cute guy will just drop from the sky just to make you happy" Rachel pipes up.
Kevilynn has faith, plenty of it, but she doesn't believe that the man of her dreams is gonna drop in her lap someday. It's cute that Rachel still believes, but it doesn't make Kevilynn's life any better.
" Or maybe a woman " Kevilynn adds, more a question to herself than a statement. She did wonder about the possibilty at Julliard, but then she had to focus on acing her classes. She didn't have time for a social life, and less so for a love life. Kevilynn remembers life back then fondly. She's always found dancers' bodies beautiful, male or female, it never really mattered to her. So really, why not?
" I could kiss you, if you wanted" Rachel answers. " I hope my boyfriend won't mind it," she adds giggling. The sound is muffled because she's hiding her face in the crook of her arm.
It's nice of Rachel to want to take one for the team but Kevilynn doesn't think she's quite ready for that just yet. Kevilynn loves Rachel, but more in a sisterly kind of way. She is also pretty sure that no proposition made while drunk should be seriously considered.
" Of course you would proposition our poor drunk neighbour, because that's what you do!" Kurt says bitterly. " Miss Rachel Berry: official sexual identity crisis release mechanism. How is this my life exactly?"
Kevilynn wonders as much as Kurt.
***
Kevilynn meets Mike after a horrible week at work. She never would have guessed that work could be shitty because she's part of a small number of people who are actually doing their dream job. Still, some days your Primo Ballerino is being an asshole and it's up to the choreographer to make things better. Gerard is usually an angel but it seems like this week nothing is going to cut it for him. It makes Kevilynn really cranky, and she deals with her crankiness by waking up earlier than usual and dancing her little heart out.
There is no doubt in her heart that she was made to express her emotions through dancing. As weird as it is, she knows she was never going to be a front and center dancer. Kevilynn's made to be behind the scene; always has, always will. She's known that since she was 11, and had to stay home because her arm was in a cast. She'd rounded up her little brothers, taught them the last choreography she'd learned during her lessons, and made them perform in front of their parents. The rush of emotions she'd felt watching them, was stronger than what she'd ever felt so far in her life; even while dancing. She'd known then that coming up with the routine, teaching it and then being able to watch it unfold from the sidelines was what she was made to do. Nick has all this music in his head, but in hers music translates into steps and pirouettes and if she closes her eyes, she can see every tiny detail.
This particular day, she's been dancing since dawn because Gerard refused to dance with Brenda the day before, and Kevilynn doesn't know what she's supposed to do if one half of her star couple isn't talking to the other half. She hopes the new day is going to end up being better, but she isn't holding her breath. It's frustrating and she doesn't know how to deal with it. Great as school was, they never taught her how to deal with divas. The worst she ever encountered was someone dropping out of her presentation because their course load just got heavier, or because their GPA was in jeopardy. But in a sea of dance students, a replacement wasn't that difficult to find. She can't replace Gerard or Brenda. She just has to find a way to make them gel. So Kevilynn gets up early, stretches out, and begins to dance her frustrations out before she has to go in and face her star dancers for another day.
After a pretty intense soubresaut session, because nothing cheers her up quite like soubresauts, Kevilynn hears the doorbell ringing.
She's feeling weirdly vindictive. She hasn't gotten rid of all the tension she's accumulated during the week, she can feel it simmering under her skin and it doesn't bode well for whoever is on the other side of her door. Except if they're Girl Scouts, because Girl Scouts are awesome and they hold the key to the sweet perfection that are mint chip cookies and Kevilynn can definitely respect that.
Nothing could have ever prepared her for what she sees when she opens the door. Part of her recoils because the man she's facing seems pretty pissed, if not more at least just as much as she was this morning. She remembers having a conversation with Joe when she was 18 and on her way to New York. She remembers how he told her about all the dangers that would await her and maybe she would be safer if she stayed with them. She had gone anyway, because it was Julliard, because there was no way that life on the road could be any safer than life in NYC. And she was right... sort of. So part the part of her brains that talks in Joe's voice is telling her to slam the door shut, just in case this guy actually means trouble. But the other part is saying "hot!" on a loop, because the guy on her doorstep is really good looking; really, really ridiculously good looking, once she gets past the the dark look he's giving her. He has short dark hair, green eyes, and his lips are pursed in irritation. He looks like he just rolled out of bed, his hair in disarray, and his eyes still a little sleepy. He would look almost soft if it weren't for the waves of 'pissed off' she can feel coming from him, and the way his arms -- and those are really nice forearms -- are crossed in front of his chest.
" Could you control your herd of elephants?" are the first words coming out of Hot Guy 's mouth, his voice sleep-rough. He sounds like he's trying to keep his anger under control but he's failing, as far as Kevilynn is concerned. She wishes she could stop time. She wishes she could stop him and tell him not to talk for a couple more minutes. She was really enjoying the view...until he started disrespecting her craft.
"Pardon me?" she says incredulously.
"The herd of elephant you have inside, jumping or whatever it is they do, could you calm them the fuck down," the hot angry guy growls.
And maybe it is unfair to the guy ( because after all Kevilynn was really giving her all in those soubresauts , so maybe she is at fault, probably... most likely) but still it's one in the afternoon, the music wasn't loud and she hasn't been working on her soubresauts for long, fifteen minutes tops; so she lays into him.
" Listen here buddy," she starts, quietly, because she can feel all the frustration of the past week trying to take over. " Obviously nobody ever bothered teaching you any kind of manners, but in the real world 'hello' and 'please' might help you get your way," she plows on a little more angrily than she would like. She can feel herself growing angrier with each word, and not all that anger is due to Hot Guy's rudeness. " Oh and how about ' sorry to bother you with my ridiculous demand for peace and quiet in the afternoon, but would you mind?" she barrels on. " This is New York and if you can't deal with a little bit of noise without acting like an ass, let me tell you, you won't last long. On that note, have a nice day" she finishes before slamming the door. She is still fuming but her temper is rapidly cooling down, and she's already starting to feel a bit ashamed by the way she acted. She is not used to losing her cool.
***
For two weeks, Kevilynn and Hot Guy sneer at each other every time they meet in the hallway. His name is Mike, and she knows, from Rachel's building gossip, that he lives with her Australian downstairs neighbour. He always has a biting comment for her when they meet but Kevilynn is holding her own too. At first each meeting leaves her angry but it does wonder for her work problems. After she lays into Gerard for being a diva and reminding him who's boss, the atmosphere becomes much more enjoyable. She'd never thought she would have to rely on fear to get her job done, but she is strangely okay with it. At least she is until she sees Gerard's huge eyes looking at her. She takes him aside and after a nice talk about professionalism, they both agree that diva fits are not the way to go. After that things settle for good, and she can see the troupe becoming a real, solid body.
One day as she's coming into the building with Kurt, Mike is on his way out. Of course he stops to bicker with her a little before finally leaving. The problems don't start until she takes a good look at Kurt.
" You've made the last three weeks of my life hell because of this guy, telling me over and over how much you hate him and now you're flirting?" Kurt says incredulously.
" I wasn't flirting" Kevilynn splutters. She wasn't. Kurt gives her the silent 'judging-you' eyebrow, and she feels compelled to defend herself some more. " I really wasn't. He may be really good looking but he is an ass." she adds with conviction, surely Kurt will get her point.
He doesn't, but at least his eyebrow stops judging her. " I'm sorry Kev." he starts soberly. " But this was flirting, elementary school, pigtail pulling level of flirting but still." he adds, patronising. Kevilynn is not sulking but if Kurt wasn't holding the bag with the ice cream she so desperately needs she would abandon him in the hallway. " Oh Lord," Kurt gasps suddenly. His eyes are widened when she turns to look at him and he looks gleeful. " You're an Harlequin heroine!" he tells her, voice filled with awe. " You met the guy and you say you can't stand him but in reality it's all an expression of intense sexual tension." Kurt is now on a roll, and he can't even control himself long enough to stop laughing. " Will you let him rip your bodice and have his wicked way with you, Miss Jonas?" he asks before cackling gleefully.
Fleeing is the better part of valour, and that is why Kevilynn leaves her ice cream and Kurt behind to hide in her flat.
***
When Mike asks her out a few days after that, Kevilynn decides not to tell Kurt anything. Not being allowed to help her coordinate her outfit should be punishment enough for all the mocking she is going to endure.
***
" You do know Rachel was drunk when she said the love of your life would just drop down from the sky?" Kurt tells her during one of their work out sessions, two weeks after she went on her first date with Mike. " You do not have to settle for someone who seems to be constantly angry at the world, honey. And seriously what is up with his clothes, it's like he's never heard of the 21st century!!"
" It's easy for you to say" Kevilynn shoots back while she punches her dummy. " You've met your boyfriend when you were 17, and you guys have been together ever since!"
Kurt gets the ridiculously sweet face he gets every time someone as much as mentions Blaine, but he keeps on. " I know I'm lucky. It's still doesn't mean that it's okay for you to go on a date with Michael 'I eat children for breakfast' Carden. I'm pretty sure that's a breach of friendship. You know Rachel's a vegan. "
Kevilynn might be used to Kurt's level of ridiculousness but there are still times when she needs to stop and give him a look because, seriously. She punches the dummy harder " I'm going to be frank with you Kurt. I don't plan on marrying Mike. I am just a woman who reached a point in her life when she feels ready to have shared orgasms. And Mike seems like he wouldn't be stingy on the orgasm front."
Kurt makes a face. " But couldn't you at least choose someone who dresses better?" he grumbles with feeling, like the mere idea of Kevilynn having sex with someone who doesn't meet Kurt's sartorial standards is slowly eating away at his soul. He shakes the pained face off pretty quickly and goes on with the conversation. "Whatever, your orgasms, your responsibility. You, my dear, are a hedonist. Go forth in your quest of pleasure but please do not share any details with me." Kurt tells her solemnly.
"Deal!" Kevilynn breathes out on a particularly vicious jab. And Kurt and her finally go back to working out without any chitchat.
" Or maybe just the really good details" Kurt adds after a while, pensively.
Kevilynn smiles.
***
Mike remembers the day he and Kevilynn met. She does too of course but Mike actually remembers the precise date. She thinks it's sweet, but because it's Mike, he celebrates in the most obnoxious way possible.
" What is that supposed to be?" she asks, holding what appears to be a painting away from her.
" It's a painting" Mike answers cheekily. He seems to be pretty proud of himself.
In the background of the painting is a herd of hippos, the Fantasia hippos, tutu and all, dancing. In the foreground a garishly dressed figure is using a stick to guide them, just like a conductor.
" Wait! Is that supposed to be me?" she asks, pointing at the person in the foreground, appalled. Mike nods, a smug smirk on his face.
" Happy 'First Meeting' anniversary Jonas!" he says with over the top enthusiasm.
Kevilynn wants to hate him because there is no way the atrocity she's holding in her hand right now wasn't entirely his idea. The colors are horrible, they clash inside the painting and they clash with everything Kevilynn has ever owned. She still hangs it up in the hallway because Mike remembered not just the day they had their first date, or their first kiss but the first day they ever set eyes on each other. And he did it in style, Kevin has spent enough time with drama geeks to appreciate a good homage when she sees one.
The next day she drops by Mike's place to give him a copy of Miss Manners' Guide to Excruciatingly Correct Behavior, Freshly Updated. And when he kisses the smug smirk off her face, she feels something warm settle in her stomach; she's happy.
***
Kevilynn never thought she'd introduce Mike to her family. Mostly because Mike is the perfect incarnation of what her entire family feared when she went to New York. Mike smokes, drinks, and occasionally does pot. He has casual sex ( not since he's been with Kevilynn but still, he does regularly get into Kevilynn's pants, which is definitely worse than any casual sex he could ever have, as far as her parents are concerned.), he has hipster friends, is a working musician, and doesn't believe in God. There is a word in her family's vocabulary for Mike and it is 'heathen'.
Still Kevilynn is happy with him, her friends all now like her boyfriend, and it seems like a good time to introduce him to her family, and makes things really official.
Against all odds everything goes perfectly. Her parents aren't really happy with Kevilynn's life and the choices she's made. They're happy she's doing what makes her happy but some of it is difficult for them. Like the fact that she lives so far from them, or that she's been quite vocal about not wanting kids right now. They think she's focusing too much on her career, and that it would be good for her to have someone to come home to. No matter how many times they have this discussion there is never any progress made, the three of them are too stubborn for that.
When she starts talking about Mike in the beginning of their relationship, her parents aren't really receptive but she wins them over and they seem to accept him. Still getting them to actually agree to meet him face to face is an entire story entirely. They always have something planned, or there is no room, it goes on for months until she finally cracks.
" Are you always going to avoid him? Because that may get really complicated in the years to come," she snaps. She's frustrated and she shouldn't have let her temper get the best of her.
Before she can even apologize her father answers. " Why don't you just tell us when is your next free weekend, and we'll get the house ready." She has no idea what convinced them but she's not complaining.
When the day comes, Mike is stressed out. He is so tense that no matter what Kevin says or does, he keeps looking like he knows the world is going to end soon. Kevilynn tells him that everything is going to be fine. And it does. Things go so well that come the following Christmas, her Dad makes Mike a Christmas stocking to hang with the rest of the family. He doesn't tell Kevilynn anything about it and it is as much a surprise for her than it is for Mike.
Her Dad has taken the same fabric he used when he made Kevilynn's; it's green and red with pink fuzz on top. Mike's name has been stitched on it in bright blue letters. Kevin knows how much time it takes her Dad to make one of those. He could asks for help but he never does because it's a tradition he started when Kevilynn was a child and he still wants to uphold it.
Mike says a quiet 'thank you' to her dad still a bit uncomfortable around her parents. And when they both get up to hang the stocking on the mantel Mike holds her hand and says " we match" softly, with a goofy grin. And suddenly this warmth she's been feeling in her stomach seems to grow to encompasses her entire body. It's not like anything she's ever felt so far in her life, but it's okay. She's getting used to never knowing what to expect when it comes to Mike.
***
When Kevilynn was 20 years old, Joe and Nick wrote her an entire musical for Christmas. It's a pretty solid piece and she has always dreamt of how she could bring it to life. She has thousands of choreo ideas going through her head every time she looks at it. She tinkers with it when she gets really stressed out. There is a tiny part of the second act first song that doesn't make sense. She gets why her brothers would have written it that way because, musically, it works, but the problem is you can't dance to it. Kevilynn has spent years trying to fix it without completely destroying the entire piece; it's a slow process.
Kevilynn is a 30 year old successful choreographer, who owns a flat in New York and she's been working on her masterpiece since she was 20.
The day Mike Carden suggests a key change and solves the problem that's been bugging her for years, Kevilynn asks him to marry her because that what she does when she falls in love; she holds on and never lets go.
The end
Pairing: Mike/Kevin, implied Kurt/Blaine and Rachel/Finn
Recipient: sheeplikeme
Prompt: My Dream Fic Includes:1) Noir Detectives 2) Humour 3)Always a girl!Kevin or always a girl!Kevin&Mike 4)Any fusion fics with Castle, Leverage, Star Trek, Star Wars, or Glee
Word count: 4100
Rating: PG-13 for swearing.
Summary: Kevilynn Jonas is a choreographer in New York. This is her story.
Warning: Always-a-girl!Kevin, ridiculousness, drinking, Harlequin references, ridiculousness, Glee crossover, no respect for any kind of canon, a lot of handwaving.
Notes: Thanks to akire_yta for the awesome and speedy beta, and for giving me an Internet. Thank you very much. To sheeplikeme, I hope you like your gift. At first I tried to cram as much as the prompts as I could into one fic. But then it turned out that I can’t actually write Noir Detectives stories no matter how hard I wish for it. But the idea is forever going to be living in my head and for that I thank you. There is a mix that goes with it that I will upload later as I have just lost my phone/mp3 player and need to remember what songs and what the order was.
Kevilynn fell in love for the first time when she was 7.
She caught ‘The Nutcracker’ on TV around Christmas and it was a revelation. It had felt like she had stopped breathing, eyes riveted to the screen. She couldn’t even remember what was happening around her, Joe and Nick running around, her Mom peeping into the living room to tell them to calm down. Nothing. Nothing but the music and how beautiful everything was, the way the ballerinas seemed to be gliding across the stage, and how much she needed to be a part of something like this. There weren't enough words in her vocabulary to express how much she felt that day, apart from love.
She badgered her mom for months after that, until she’d been allowed to take ballet lessons. And she never regretted it.
***
When Kevilynn gets her first real, big cheque as a choreographer, hired for more than six months at a time, she buys herself a flat. The cheque is not as big as what her brothers earn as 'Disney superstars' but it's the first paycheck she ever had that doesn't require intense budgeting. So she gets herself a gorgeous flat in New York. It's in an old old townhouse, recently renovated; it's huge and the second love of her life, after dancing.
The realtor tells her that the three other tenants are also artists. There are talks about soundproofing, and how helpful the artist community is around here but Kevilynn doesn't register any of that, her minds replaying the realtor 'are artists too' on a loop. She's an artist now. She gets paid to do what she would have done for free as a kid...there is probably no way life could get any better for her! And if she can't stop smiling the smile of the ridiculously happy for days after that, nobody seems to mind.
She's 25 and she finally finished reimbursing her student loans; as far as the real world is concerned, Paula Kevilynn Jonas is an adult and an artist.
***
A year after she moves in, the empty flat across from hers finally gets rented.
She meets the woman, briefly, in the morning, saying nothing more than a quiet 'hello' as she passes her by. The woman -- Rachel as Kevilynn will come to learn the following morning -- doesn't answer. She is too busy focusing on the way the movers are handling a baby grand.
Kevilynn wonders if one day she will get to play that beautiful piano, if those neighbors will end up becoming friends. She wonders about that on her way to work but then the dance gets a hold of her and she forgets about everything.
***
Kevilynn has never been in love with anyone and she thinks it's kind of sad. She is a 27-year-old-successful, graduated-from-Julliard-choreographer, merrily on her way to becoming the owner of the most gorgeous flat in all of New York (she still owes some money --quite a hefty sum actually -- to the bank). She is awesome! Her little brothers say so all the time.
" Sweetie, I don't know how to tell you that but I think your brain to mouth filter died half an hour ago," the blurry shape at the corner of her eyes says.
"Wassat?" Kevilynn asks. It is possible that she's drunk. She wouldn't know, she rarely if ever drinks any alcohol. She is an athlete. She doesn't look like it and according to some people dancing is not a sport but she knows better. She could probably bench press Kurt and Rachel under table, because she's awesome.
" Seriously, Kev, you need to do something about your inner voice becoming your... outside voice, or whatever it is called" the blurry shape-- Kurt --continues.
" Let her express herself, Kurt! Don't be a hater of joy!" Rachel interrupts, just as drunk as Kevilynn is, probably. Kev' heard stories about Rachel's alcohol tolerance, and it's not that glorious.
" I want to be in love" Kevilynn says out loud, just in case this part of her inner monologue got lost in translation.
" Yeah" Kurt shots back dryly, " I think we all got that part loud and clear."
***
Kevilynn remembers a time when Rachel and Kurt were just the weird neighbors she thought were involved in a threesome with that ridiculously dressed guy. It turns out Blaine is Kurt's boyfriend and has been so -- on and off -- since high school. The really tall guy is Kurt's brother and Rachel's boyfriend. Kev's got a headache just thinking about it but she makes do.
" Maybe a cute guy will just drop from the sky just to make you happy" Rachel pipes up.
Kevilynn has faith, plenty of it, but she doesn't believe that the man of her dreams is gonna drop in her lap someday. It's cute that Rachel still believes, but it doesn't make Kevilynn's life any better.
" Or maybe a woman " Kevilynn adds, more a question to herself than a statement. She did wonder about the possibilty at Julliard, but then she had to focus on acing her classes. She didn't have time for a social life, and less so for a love life. Kevilynn remembers life back then fondly. She's always found dancers' bodies beautiful, male or female, it never really mattered to her. So really, why not?
" I could kiss you, if you wanted" Rachel answers. " I hope my boyfriend won't mind it," she adds giggling. The sound is muffled because she's hiding her face in the crook of her arm.
It's nice of Rachel to want to take one for the team but Kevilynn doesn't think she's quite ready for that just yet. Kevilynn loves Rachel, but more in a sisterly kind of way. She is also pretty sure that no proposition made while drunk should be seriously considered.
" Of course you would proposition our poor drunk neighbour, because that's what you do!" Kurt says bitterly. " Miss Rachel Berry: official sexual identity crisis release mechanism. How is this my life exactly?"
Kevilynn wonders as much as Kurt.
***
Kevilynn meets Mike after a horrible week at work. She never would have guessed that work could be shitty because she's part of a small number of people who are actually doing their dream job. Still, some days your Primo Ballerino is being an asshole and it's up to the choreographer to make things better. Gerard is usually an angel but it seems like this week nothing is going to cut it for him. It makes Kevilynn really cranky, and she deals with her crankiness by waking up earlier than usual and dancing her little heart out.
There is no doubt in her heart that she was made to express her emotions through dancing. As weird as it is, she knows she was never going to be a front and center dancer. Kevilynn's made to be behind the scene; always has, always will. She's known that since she was 11, and had to stay home because her arm was in a cast. She'd rounded up her little brothers, taught them the last choreography she'd learned during her lessons, and made them perform in front of their parents. The rush of emotions she'd felt watching them, was stronger than what she'd ever felt so far in her life; even while dancing. She'd known then that coming up with the routine, teaching it and then being able to watch it unfold from the sidelines was what she was made to do. Nick has all this music in his head, but in hers music translates into steps and pirouettes and if she closes her eyes, she can see every tiny detail.
This particular day, she's been dancing since dawn because Gerard refused to dance with Brenda the day before, and Kevilynn doesn't know what she's supposed to do if one half of her star couple isn't talking to the other half. She hopes the new day is going to end up being better, but she isn't holding her breath. It's frustrating and she doesn't know how to deal with it. Great as school was, they never taught her how to deal with divas. The worst she ever encountered was someone dropping out of her presentation because their course load just got heavier, or because their GPA was in jeopardy. But in a sea of dance students, a replacement wasn't that difficult to find. She can't replace Gerard or Brenda. She just has to find a way to make them gel. So Kevilynn gets up early, stretches out, and begins to dance her frustrations out before she has to go in and face her star dancers for another day.
After a pretty intense soubresaut session, because nothing cheers her up quite like soubresauts, Kevilynn hears the doorbell ringing.
She's feeling weirdly vindictive. She hasn't gotten rid of all the tension she's accumulated during the week, she can feel it simmering under her skin and it doesn't bode well for whoever is on the other side of her door. Except if they're Girl Scouts, because Girl Scouts are awesome and they hold the key to the sweet perfection that are mint chip cookies and Kevilynn can definitely respect that.
Nothing could have ever prepared her for what she sees when she opens the door. Part of her recoils because the man she's facing seems pretty pissed, if not more at least just as much as she was this morning. She remembers having a conversation with Joe when she was 18 and on her way to New York. She remembers how he told her about all the dangers that would await her and maybe she would be safer if she stayed with them. She had gone anyway, because it was Julliard, because there was no way that life on the road could be any safer than life in NYC. And she was right... sort of. So part the part of her brains that talks in Joe's voice is telling her to slam the door shut, just in case this guy actually means trouble. But the other part is saying "hot!" on a loop, because the guy on her doorstep is really good looking; really, really ridiculously good looking, once she gets past the the dark look he's giving her. He has short dark hair, green eyes, and his lips are pursed in irritation. He looks like he just rolled out of bed, his hair in disarray, and his eyes still a little sleepy. He would look almost soft if it weren't for the waves of 'pissed off' she can feel coming from him, and the way his arms -- and those are really nice forearms -- are crossed in front of his chest.
" Could you control your herd of elephants?" are the first words coming out of Hot Guy 's mouth, his voice sleep-rough. He sounds like he's trying to keep his anger under control but he's failing, as far as Kevilynn is concerned. She wishes she could stop time. She wishes she could stop him and tell him not to talk for a couple more minutes. She was really enjoying the view...until he started disrespecting her craft.
"Pardon me?" she says incredulously.
"The herd of elephant you have inside, jumping or whatever it is they do, could you calm them the fuck down," the hot angry guy growls.
And maybe it is unfair to the guy ( because after all Kevilynn was really giving her all in those soubresauts , so maybe she is at fault, probably... most likely) but still it's one in the afternoon, the music wasn't loud and she hasn't been working on her soubresauts for long, fifteen minutes tops; so she lays into him.
" Listen here buddy," she starts, quietly, because she can feel all the frustration of the past week trying to take over. " Obviously nobody ever bothered teaching you any kind of manners, but in the real world 'hello' and 'please' might help you get your way," she plows on a little more angrily than she would like. She can feel herself growing angrier with each word, and not all that anger is due to Hot Guy's rudeness. " Oh and how about ' sorry to bother you with my ridiculous demand for peace and quiet in the afternoon, but would you mind?" she barrels on. " This is New York and if you can't deal with a little bit of noise without acting like an ass, let me tell you, you won't last long. On that note, have a nice day" she finishes before slamming the door. She is still fuming but her temper is rapidly cooling down, and she's already starting to feel a bit ashamed by the way she acted. She is not used to losing her cool.
***
For two weeks, Kevilynn and Hot Guy sneer at each other every time they meet in the hallway. His name is Mike, and she knows, from Rachel's building gossip, that he lives with her Australian downstairs neighbour. He always has a biting comment for her when they meet but Kevilynn is holding her own too. At first each meeting leaves her angry but it does wonder for her work problems. After she lays into Gerard for being a diva and reminding him who's boss, the atmosphere becomes much more enjoyable. She'd never thought she would have to rely on fear to get her job done, but she is strangely okay with it. At least she is until she sees Gerard's huge eyes looking at her. She takes him aside and after a nice talk about professionalism, they both agree that diva fits are not the way to go. After that things settle for good, and she can see the troupe becoming a real, solid body.
One day as she's coming into the building with Kurt, Mike is on his way out. Of course he stops to bicker with her a little before finally leaving. The problems don't start until she takes a good look at Kurt.
" You've made the last three weeks of my life hell because of this guy, telling me over and over how much you hate him and now you're flirting?" Kurt says incredulously.
" I wasn't flirting" Kevilynn splutters. She wasn't. Kurt gives her the silent 'judging-you' eyebrow, and she feels compelled to defend herself some more. " I really wasn't. He may be really good looking but he is an ass." she adds with conviction, surely Kurt will get her point.
He doesn't, but at least his eyebrow stops judging her. " I'm sorry Kev." he starts soberly. " But this was flirting, elementary school, pigtail pulling level of flirting but still." he adds, patronising. Kevilynn is not sulking but if Kurt wasn't holding the bag with the ice cream she so desperately needs she would abandon him in the hallway. " Oh Lord," Kurt gasps suddenly. His eyes are widened when she turns to look at him and he looks gleeful. " You're an Harlequin heroine!" he tells her, voice filled with awe. " You met the guy and you say you can't stand him but in reality it's all an expression of intense sexual tension." Kurt is now on a roll, and he can't even control himself long enough to stop laughing. " Will you let him rip your bodice and have his wicked way with you, Miss Jonas?" he asks before cackling gleefully.
Fleeing is the better part of valour, and that is why Kevilynn leaves her ice cream and Kurt behind to hide in her flat.
***
When Mike asks her out a few days after that, Kevilynn decides not to tell Kurt anything. Not being allowed to help her coordinate her outfit should be punishment enough for all the mocking she is going to endure.
***
" You do know Rachel was drunk when she said the love of your life would just drop down from the sky?" Kurt tells her during one of their work out sessions, two weeks after she went on her first date with Mike. " You do not have to settle for someone who seems to be constantly angry at the world, honey. And seriously what is up with his clothes, it's like he's never heard of the 21st century!!"
" It's easy for you to say" Kevilynn shoots back while she punches her dummy. " You've met your boyfriend when you were 17, and you guys have been together ever since!"
Kurt gets the ridiculously sweet face he gets every time someone as much as mentions Blaine, but he keeps on. " I know I'm lucky. It's still doesn't mean that it's okay for you to go on a date with Michael 'I eat children for breakfast' Carden. I'm pretty sure that's a breach of friendship. You know Rachel's a vegan. "
Kevilynn might be used to Kurt's level of ridiculousness but there are still times when she needs to stop and give him a look because, seriously. She punches the dummy harder " I'm going to be frank with you Kurt. I don't plan on marrying Mike. I am just a woman who reached a point in her life when she feels ready to have shared orgasms. And Mike seems like he wouldn't be stingy on the orgasm front."
Kurt makes a face. " But couldn't you at least choose someone who dresses better?" he grumbles with feeling, like the mere idea of Kevilynn having sex with someone who doesn't meet Kurt's sartorial standards is slowly eating away at his soul. He shakes the pained face off pretty quickly and goes on with the conversation. "Whatever, your orgasms, your responsibility. You, my dear, are a hedonist. Go forth in your quest of pleasure but please do not share any details with me." Kurt tells her solemnly.
"Deal!" Kevilynn breathes out on a particularly vicious jab. And Kurt and her finally go back to working out without any chitchat.
" Or maybe just the really good details" Kurt adds after a while, pensively.
Kevilynn smiles.
***
Mike remembers the day he and Kevilynn met. She does too of course but Mike actually remembers the precise date. She thinks it's sweet, but because it's Mike, he celebrates in the most obnoxious way possible.
" What is that supposed to be?" she asks, holding what appears to be a painting away from her.
" It's a painting" Mike answers cheekily. He seems to be pretty proud of himself.
In the background of the painting is a herd of hippos, the Fantasia hippos, tutu and all, dancing. In the foreground a garishly dressed figure is using a stick to guide them, just like a conductor.
" Wait! Is that supposed to be me?" she asks, pointing at the person in the foreground, appalled. Mike nods, a smug smirk on his face.
" Happy 'First Meeting' anniversary Jonas!" he says with over the top enthusiasm.
Kevilynn wants to hate him because there is no way the atrocity she's holding in her hand right now wasn't entirely his idea. The colors are horrible, they clash inside the painting and they clash with everything Kevilynn has ever owned. She still hangs it up in the hallway because Mike remembered not just the day they had their first date, or their first kiss but the first day they ever set eyes on each other. And he did it in style, Kevin has spent enough time with drama geeks to appreciate a good homage when she sees one.
The next day she drops by Mike's place to give him a copy of Miss Manners' Guide to Excruciatingly Correct Behavior, Freshly Updated. And when he kisses the smug smirk off her face, she feels something warm settle in her stomach; she's happy.
***
Kevilynn never thought she'd introduce Mike to her family. Mostly because Mike is the perfect incarnation of what her entire family feared when she went to New York. Mike smokes, drinks, and occasionally does pot. He has casual sex ( not since he's been with Kevilynn but still, he does regularly get into Kevilynn's pants, which is definitely worse than any casual sex he could ever have, as far as her parents are concerned.), he has hipster friends, is a working musician, and doesn't believe in God. There is a word in her family's vocabulary for Mike and it is 'heathen'.
Still Kevilynn is happy with him, her friends all now like her boyfriend, and it seems like a good time to introduce him to her family, and makes things really official.
Against all odds everything goes perfectly. Her parents aren't really happy with Kevilynn's life and the choices she's made. They're happy she's doing what makes her happy but some of it is difficult for them. Like the fact that she lives so far from them, or that she's been quite vocal about not wanting kids right now. They think she's focusing too much on her career, and that it would be good for her to have someone to come home to. No matter how many times they have this discussion there is never any progress made, the three of them are too stubborn for that.
When she starts talking about Mike in the beginning of their relationship, her parents aren't really receptive but she wins them over and they seem to accept him. Still getting them to actually agree to meet him face to face is an entire story entirely. They always have something planned, or there is no room, it goes on for months until she finally cracks.
" Are you always going to avoid him? Because that may get really complicated in the years to come," she snaps. She's frustrated and she shouldn't have let her temper get the best of her.
Before she can even apologize her father answers. " Why don't you just tell us when is your next free weekend, and we'll get the house ready." She has no idea what convinced them but she's not complaining.
When the day comes, Mike is stressed out. He is so tense that no matter what Kevin says or does, he keeps looking like he knows the world is going to end soon. Kevilynn tells him that everything is going to be fine. And it does. Things go so well that come the following Christmas, her Dad makes Mike a Christmas stocking to hang with the rest of the family. He doesn't tell Kevilynn anything about it and it is as much a surprise for her than it is for Mike.
Her Dad has taken the same fabric he used when he made Kevilynn's; it's green and red with pink fuzz on top. Mike's name has been stitched on it in bright blue letters. Kevin knows how much time it takes her Dad to make one of those. He could asks for help but he never does because it's a tradition he started when Kevilynn was a child and he still wants to uphold it.
Mike says a quiet 'thank you' to her dad still a bit uncomfortable around her parents. And when they both get up to hang the stocking on the mantel Mike holds her hand and says " we match" softly, with a goofy grin. And suddenly this warmth she's been feeling in her stomach seems to grow to encompasses her entire body. It's not like anything she's ever felt so far in her life, but it's okay. She's getting used to never knowing what to expect when it comes to Mike.
***
When Kevilynn was 20 years old, Joe and Nick wrote her an entire musical for Christmas. It's a pretty solid piece and she has always dreamt of how she could bring it to life. She has thousands of choreo ideas going through her head every time she looks at it. She tinkers with it when she gets really stressed out. There is a tiny part of the second act first song that doesn't make sense. She gets why her brothers would have written it that way because, musically, it works, but the problem is you can't dance to it. Kevilynn has spent years trying to fix it without completely destroying the entire piece; it's a slow process.
Kevilynn is a 30 year old successful choreographer, who owns a flat in New York and she's been working on her masterpiece since she was 20.
The day Mike Carden suggests a key change and solves the problem that's been bugging her for years, Kevilynn asks him to marry her because that what she does when she falls in love; she holds on and never lets go.
The end