Bingo fic!!
Title: Tramps, and Thieves | kalimai
Fandom: Bandon, Disney
Ships: Mike/Kevin
Word Count: 1645
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Silliness, handcuffs. Not beta-read
Prompt: Bingo square: Circus AU
Notes: Title from a Cher song "G******, Tramps, and Thieves"
Summary: Kevin is a circus artist. Sort of. He meets Mike in very special circumstances...
Tramps, and Thieves
Kevin had spent three months working on this job: pouring over blueprints, studying the layout, evaluating the risks, choreographing his every move. In and out, forty five minutes tops. He had it all figured out before the curator even received the Chinese jade collection. He already had his buyer. This job was going to get him settled, until he got bored and went after something new and shiny.
It was supposed to be a cakewalk, except now Kevin has an antique jade collection in his bag that he won't be able to sell because Mike freaking Carden is standing between Kevin and his way out while pointing a gun at him. Kevin's not stupid, it might be their first encounter but he knows who Carden is. Before choosing this path, he did his homework, he's always been diligent. Mike Carden is the bogeyman for all thieves everywhere: 26, fluent in ten languages English not included, disturbingly hot, he owns TAI Company, and they specialize in security and retrieval. They've been on the market for less than six years and already managed to send half of Kevin's contacts and colleagues to jail for a long time.
“So, you're the infamous KJ! I thought you'd be, I don't know ...taller maybe.” Kevin scowls. He knows that he's not physically imposing but it's kind of his trademark. See, people don't notice Kevin, they never do. They see him of course but they don't notice him, and that's why he gets hired. There are people all around the world telling the story of how Kevin stole an antique in the middle of a public exhibition, and walked out the front door without getting caught. Kevin may not be physically imposing but he IS bad-ass.
He capitalizes on his physique. He used to think of it as a curse. He was the eldest, the first born but everybody seemed to forget about him. He can't remember how many times his parents have introduced him and his brothers with a “Here are our three sons!” and “Honey! I think we forgot Kevin again!” , or” Where is Kevin?” when he was sitting right there. It was hard, especially when Joe, Nick, and Frankie grew up to be as awesome as they are. But Kevin got used to it, he can see the good in any situation. He sneaked out late at night, went to parties, made out with boys. His parents never asked him to wear a purity ring like his brothers ( and how funny is it that Kevin is the only virgin left in his family! Well there's Frankie, but Frankie is 12!)
So okay, Kevin is bitter but his ability to be forgotten is what brings bread on his table. Or, like, really, really nice designer jeans in his 50 square feet wardrobe. The problem right now is that Mike Carden has seen his face, and as sure as he is that he can get out of this situation with his stolen goods, he also knows that his career is pretty much fucked. TAI has built its reputation on never failing, Kevin's built his on never getting caught. They're at an impasse and Kevin is sure as hell not going down!
“You'll never catch me alive!” Kevin blurts out. Carden chuckles.
“That's a bit over dramatic, don't you think?” he says. “Put the bag down!” he adds as an afterthought.
“As much as I'd like to make myself comfortable and have a chat, my client is waiting for me.” Kevin replies , holding his bag in front of him. He knows he sounds cocky so he throws in some puppy dog eyes to make sure that Carden is none the wiser. Kevin is bad-ass, and as every self-respecting bad-ass, he has a plan B, or ten. And when he saw Carden standing between him and his paycheck, he launched Plan B #12.
“I don't think so KJ. I already have your client in custody. How do you think I tracked you down.” Carden says smugly. If Kevin believed in violence, he would have punched him in the face. It's not even because of the client thing, Kevin's been doing this job for a long time, and he always lines up at least two clients for the same job since one of his first clients fucked him over, and refused to pay. He had to put the painting back in the museum, and hadn't that been a drag. But he learned his lesson well. Kevin's problem resides in the fact that Mike Carden is hot. And smug. Hot and smug is kind of Kevin's Kryptonite, the golden kind. He has to keep his mind on the job, and Carden smirks are not helping this situation any. Kevin really wish he could wipe that smirk right off his face.
That's when he sees Joe drop down slowly from an air vent in the ceiling behind Carden, face masked and gun in hand. Kevin and Carden are busy having a stare down when the sound of the gun being cocked echoes in the room. Now it's Kevin's turn to smirk smugly. At least he gives it his best.
“Drop the gun!” Joe orders. From where he is standing, Kevin can see Carden's face fall before he slowly lowers the gun to the floor. Joe throws a pair of handcuffs Kevin's way while he directs Carden to a sorry looking pipe in one of the room's corner.
“Don't be too long!” Joe throws while Kevin handcuffs Carden to the pipe. As he starts climbing his way back into the vent, he adds “By the way Carden, your team has been taken care of!”; And then he's gone, as silent as when he arrived, taking Kevin's bag with him.
Carden looks extremely pissed and Kevin could sympathize but he'd rather look smug. He likes to call it payback. So he smiles his “I-am-adorable” smile while he finishes securing Carden to the pipe, and standing up. He left a change of clothes behind the room's lone radiator a couple hours ago but now he can't find them, and he just knows that Carden's responsible for that!
“Where are my clothes?” he asks just to be sure.
“Took them!” Carden replies surly. “You won't be going anywhere dressed like that!” he adds darkly.
Kevin is just glad he decided to go with nerdy as a disguise tonight. If those clothes had been his, he might have shanked Carden. As it is, as far as he's concerned, it's only fair if Kevin takes Carden's clothes to make his escape. Kevin crouches in front of him and as his hands reach for Carden's shirt buttons, Carden's eyes widen. “Don't worry!” he says. “I won't hurt you.” He feels like a lame rapist wannabe in an after school special, and if the roles were reversed , he wouldn't believe himself; but he has to act fast. He needs to put something over his tights and leotard and he has only ten minutes left to do so and get out.
Problem is he can't get Carden's shirt off without uncuffing him, and if he does, there's a high probability that Carden is going to fight back. Kevin doesn't have time for this! So he sits in Carden's lap and starts kissing him. Hey! He's a thief, he never claimed to be a master at diversion techniques! Carden ( “Mike!” his brain supplies “ If you're going to put your tongue in his mouth you should at least call him Mike!”) stiffens but Kevin has amazing skills and soon enough Mike is kissing back. And wow! Kevin is not sure if that was a good idea, because Mike sure knows how to kiss. It takes him all his concentration not to get pulled too deep in the kiss while he uncuffs Mike and get his right sleeve off. All of this under two minutes. He is a god!
Kevin stops kissing Mike just as he cuffs him again. “Thank you!” he says, beaming before getting to work on Mike's jeans. He tries to fight him off but thanks to the handcuffs Kevin has the upper hand. He finishes dressing, slicks his hair back, and put on the glasses he hid in his belt.
As he's walking toward the door, Mike tells him darkly “ I'll find you KJ and when I do, you'll be going to jail for a very, very long time!” And yeah, Kevin already knew his career was fucked now.
“No I won't!” he replies because there is one thing he knows for sure, he won't get caught. He'll get into Mike's and his team's heads if he has to, and he'll make sure to always be one step ahead of them at any given time. There might be make-up. “ But we can have fun while you try! Next time I might even let you play with the handcuffs!” he adds before leaving the room.
He gets out of the place with two minutes to spare and as Joe drives them away, he can't stop the smile that breaks down on his face. He's going to have to go into hiding because he just pissed off one of the best good guys out there but he's confident and happy.
“So. What are you going to do about Carden?” Joe asks.
Kevin stares out the window thoughtfully. “Maybe after we've made the drop, I could lay low, get back in the family business for a while. I was thinking , maybe some tightrope walking, and Demi and Selena have been going on and on about this three acrobat act, they want me to do with them...”
Joe smiles. “Let's get the Jonas Family's Circus back on track. Nick's going to go crazy!”
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Now playing: My Chemical Romance - Mama
http://foxytunes.com/artist/my+chemical+romance/track/mama?locale=fr