Twilight [Edward/Jasper] - Break

[sodapopsound]

Title: Break
Author: sodapopsound
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Edward/Jasper
Warnings: S E X :O
Summary: Control is a hard thing to maintain when you’re designed to destroy.

Comments

[blacktablet]

This is the sole reason I'm in the fandom! :D Mind-bogglingly hot Edward/Jasper.

And really, good writing. I like the pace of the text and the small reminders that they are not human any more.

I rather liked your Jasper because, you know, some ficcers tend to write him kind of... emo (Jasper was a soldier, he is not emo!) but you didn't make that mistake. The thought that he's more quiet and contemplative makes sense since Alice is so bubbly.

--his hands tightening around the other’s head so tightly it nearly causes pain.

This is pretty much the only thing that bothered me; repeating 'tight' so soon was kind of jarring. You may want to consider changing the wording, but that's just a suggestion. :)

His eyes become black as he hears the thought and all bets are off.

Loved that line. *fans self* When I read the first book, I kept thinking that Edward must have been an awfully dominating person under all the fluff and love confessions. So when someone actually manages to write him like that, it's great. ^_^

[sodapopsound]

Well thank you! I'm glad you liked it~ I love the idea of a dominant Edward too! He's just portrayed as too gentlemanly all the time to not have some wild control desires hidden in there somewhere XDD

And thanks for the note on the tightening/tight thing! It has been changed for the better! *totally missed that in her edit* orz

[avari_maethor]

Great story. Great descriptions. Great use of emotions. It was overall... YUMMY.

[sodapopsound]

\o/ Yay! Thank you~!

[sodapopsound]

Thank you! Glad you liked it! Man, Jasper is a hard character to toy with because the line of OOC feels impossible to find @_@

(Shameless Pimp = a success. XD)

[sodapopsound]

Thank you so much~!

[twilightscribe]

*BRAIN EXPLOSION* Um. Yes. This is my way of saying that I loved it. Give me a while, my brain will come back... eventually.

WELCOME TO THE FANDOM.