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once upon a time i wrote things
I grew up in a family that gaslit me mercilessly and still tries to; I was, and am, always hysterical, and melodramatic, and going for the Oscar, and looking for attention. This has always been true for any expression of emotion, for any reason, for as long as I can remember. This isn't to say that I've never been a bit overdramatic in my life, but ( Read more... ) -
They say time heals all wounds, but this particular wound has gone septic
It murders me, the way ( Read more... ) -
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Keep it under your hat but I'm knocked up again, so I've got that going for me, which is nice. -
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a marriage without passion ( Read more... ) -
I've been trying to keep this to myself but I don't know why.
I've lost 80 pounds since October, motherfuckers. Still a long way to go. I had reached crisis point and had been actively avoiding scales since Oskar dropped because I knew the news wasn't good. It wasn't. Like, 263 pounds not good. So 80 pounds later, I'm at 183, I'm a size 12, and the smallest I've been since I was about 13 or 14 years old ( Read more... ) -
not an interesting entry, more a note to self.
not really one for new year's resolutions. i find that i'm still the same person come january 1st so trying to bullshit myself that, i dunno, this year i'm gonna get hot or whatever is useless. arbitrary deadlines mean zilch to me. the only success i've had is with knitting resolutions so these are the projects i would like to make this year ( Read more... ) -
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I told Dave last night that he's lucky that he's the man and I'm the woman in this relationship, because if the roles were reversed, I would be intolerable ( Read more... ) -
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I think at this point it's safe to say I really have no time for other moms. I think maybe I just don't get it maybe. I don't want to talk about Oskar all the time. He's awesome, but to other people you have to understand that your kid is honestly about as important as your pets. And you wouldn't talk about your pets all the time, would you ( Read more... ) -
The Time I Lost My Mind
I wrote this poem while I was in UCSF's Langley Porter Psychiatric Hospital, on their locked ward, when Oskar was 9 days old ( Read more... ) -
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My capacity to humiliate myself has only shrunk slightly since I was 13. It's pretty impressive. My life is like one long, cringe-inducing episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm, except I'm not a millionaire and Larry David has more friends than I do.