Share - Chapter 6 (Part 2)

[sodigirl1980]

Jin’s eyes were lost, surprised. But suddenly anger crossed his face and he leaned closer to Yamashita, forcing him to face him.

• “Wait a second, you mean that you like Ryo?
• Well… let’s just say that… lately…
• Oh fuck Tomohisa, the young man shuddered when he heard his full name in his best friend’s mouth, that wasn’t usual… tell me you’re just fucking kidding me!
• No… But why are you yelling at me Jin?
• Why am I yelling at you? Let’s see why I am! Oh I don’t know, maybe because this guy is crazy in love with you since the day you met! Maybe because you’re actually telling me that you might like him too! And maybe because there is nothing against this love except MAYBE your stupidity! I don’t know. Would it be a good reason for you?
• …
• Damned Pi! What are you waiting for to tell how you feel? You two share the same feelings!
• Well I’m not so sure of that…
• What do you mean?
• Well, Ryo is not here the whole week-end… Tegoshi is also not there… I think I woke up a little too late…”

Yamashita turned and faced the bar. At this very moment, Kamenashi reappeared. Placing two bowls in front of them he wished them good appetite and left. The two men quietly ate and when they finished, Yamashita pushed his bowl, joined his hands on the bar and lowered his head.

• “I think I missed Ryo…
• Don’t say that Pi… maybe it’s not too late.
• That’s what you say but you don’t even believe it.
• You’re wrong. I say you must believe.”

Tomohisa had a sad smile, then got up and turned to his best friend.

• “Well Jin, I’m exhausted, I’m going home.
• But… Pi…
• Stay here and do what you have to do.”

And the pianist left the restaurant and headed quietly to his apartment. As he went in, loneliness took place in his heart and he felt terribly sad. He could have gone to a club and have a good time, or find a girl, as he used to do… his life had never been so tasteless.

It was like he was re-hearing all the conversations he had with Ryo since they met, the countless times the coach had implied that his lifestyle was “unstable”. He thought about his attitude toward him and realized he had been blind… since the beginning.

At this moment he imagined Ryo and Tegoshi together and for a few second saw with a life without Ryo would be. He didn’t like it… at all. The melancholy which had seized him at that moment was quite unsettling. He had always been accustomed to rely on no one except Jin. Ryo had taken a part too big in his life…

All those emotions pushed him in his memories; he saw the morning he had woken up in Ryo’s bed, on his side, when he didn’t know that he’d like to wake up like that every single day.

As if he was possessed, he sat on his desk and started to write everything he had felt this very morning.

The morning rays of sunlight
Shone upon your sleeping face and I smiled, embarrassed
Because we were happy then
I wish that the love I felt during those days
Would continue on till forever

He cursed himself for not having been able to see, able to understand the feelings in his heart.

Such thing as love

It is only you

He was so mad at himself for not having been a little more intelligent regarding all he felt. Now it was too late and he had surely lost Ryo. Now he was with someone who had seen him as really was since the beginning, someone who, unlike him didn’t let his chance go and had just seized it.

Then Yamashita wrote again and again, all night long before falling in an instable sleep crowded with dream where Ryo and Tegoshi were looking at him laughing.

***

He woke up hearing the bell on his door. Hardly getting up he quickly took a pants and headed to the door. His heart jumped when he saw Ryo in front of him. Damned! Why hadn’t he seen all the details that made him so beautiful?

These small moles on his face, his quiet smile that could make happy whoever had the honor to see… He was slapping himself for having been so blind.

• “Yo! Am I waking you up?
• Mmh… yeah… but it’s ok.
• You’ve been partying again!
• No! I’ve been working, I forgot to put my alarm clock…
• Oh… then maybe you’d like to rest this morning…
• No no it’s ok! Come in.”

The coach followed his student inside and headed to the kitchen to sit at the bar.

• “Coffee?
• Oh yeah! I need it!
• Oh… Hard night…
• Yeah! I almost haven’t slept at all! My body is aching, I’m exhausted!”

Yamashita was looking at Ryo without knowing what to say… body aching, no sleep… did he really need details? It was really hard for him to pretend that everything was ok and put a smile on his face. He gave him his coffee and left him alone to take a shower.

The two young men started back where they had stopped two days ago. Ryo was as usual, very professional, Yamashita had difficulties to focus, but he really tried to be discreet. He didn’t want Ryo to feel his confusion. Time flew and fast, too fast they were sitting on the couch, having their usual drink.

• “Well, Tomo are you ready? We have to go.
• What for?
• You forgot we are going to see Tegoshi perform tonight?
• Oh…
• You forgot!
• No… yes…
• Man! You really need me!”

“If you knew” thought the young pianist.

They drunk their glass and went to the bar. This time, Tegoshi had planned to sing a few jazz’s standards. Yamashita had convinced the boss to let him sing. He knew what effects the young man’s voice could have on an audience and he was already planning their reaction when they’d hear it.

When Yuya came on stage with a pianist, they saw the smiles on the audience’s faces. This young boy with an angel face was really charming but no one was expecting such a powerful voice.

It was even better! The surprised was complete. And despite everything, Yamashita felt proud. Proud to be the one who’d write songs for this guy, proud to have his talent for him alone. He was the one who was going to sublimate this voice, to show to the world all its abilities.

He turned to Ryo and suppressed a groan. The young man’s eyes weren’t leaving Tegoshi, devouring him admiringly. Jealousy seized him. He finished his glass and immediately ordered another one. He wasn’t planning to get drunk tonight, but… well, just a bit… to lessen things. He couldn’t bear the looks those two shared. Tegoshi had anchored his eyes in Ryo’s and it was like every word he sang was meant for him.

When the concert was over, the audience greatly applauded, comforting Yamashita in the choice he made. Jin had really had a good idea with this young boy. Yamashita could make him become a star… well, he could at least write songs that could be remembered.

• “Tomo, you seem exhausted.
• Mmh? Yeah, I’m tired.
• You wanna go home?
• Yes.
• Well, let’s go. I’ll give you a ride.
• No… don’t worry… you can stay…
• What? No, you don’t have your car. Come on.
• Ok…”

Yamashita felt embarrassed. Maybe Ryo would have rather liked staying with Tegoshi. But, hey he had offered so he wasn’t going to refuse. He was living quite far… and it was a ride with Ryo they were talking about!

So they headed to Yamashita’s apartment. The ride was very quiet, but unlike the other times, this silent was heavy. When they arrived, Yamashita turned to Ryo.

• “Well… hum… you wanna come for a drink?
• … yeah… ok…”

They entered the place and took the said glass, here again silently. Yamashita knew that if it kept going like that, Ryo was going to leave and he didn’t want it.

No.

He wanted him to stay a little longer…

• “I started to write a song for Tegoshi, is all he found to tell.
• Yeah? What is it like?
• Well, for now I just have the lyrics but no melody and no inspiration. I try, without stopping… but I’m stuck!
• Show me.”

So he took the words he had written the last two days and gave them to his coach who sat on the couch to read them. Sitting at his piano, Yamashita started to brush the keys, again looking for the chords that could match the lyrics he had so easily written.

But nothing came.

He couldn’t, as the words he had written were already enough, as if he had given too much of himself by simply writing them. But he tried again and again, eyes fixed on his keyboard. He didn’t notice that Ryo had gotten up and came closer. You could fell right now that the coach’s brain was incredibly working. It was as if he was hypnotized by the instrument that had given him everything and then taken back. Then he put his left hand on Yamashita’s shoulder and whispered.

• “Tomo, accompany me.”

He sat next to his student and told him the chord he was going to play with his right hand, Yamashita’s left hand quickly giving him what he wanted to hear, without taking his eyes from him. Thus Ryo began to play a melody, simple, beautiful, terribly melancholic, but that was just perfect with Tomohisa’s lyrics. The young pianist was fascinated. Seeing him play had been his dream for so long and now he could finally see his hand on the keyboard, his eyes lost in the happiness of playing again. Then Ryo started to sing some of Yamashita’s words, to show him that it matched.

Please stop crying;
I won't let you go,
you are the one and nothing matters more.

When he heard those words, Tomohisa felt a tear rolling on his cheek. That was it. That was exactly what he wanted to hear, the melody was perfect. That was what he wanted.

As to the composition’s evolution, Yamashita memorized the notes and chords Ryo had created.

Then, everything bolted and Ryo started playing other pieces, classics. Finally, as if he felt complete, as if he was finally again allowed to play. It was as a reward for having waited so long and having so much suffered. He had so much dreamed to finally see his hand resting on his beloved instrument.

Yamashita followed him somehow. As soon as he recognized the piece, he did his best to follow his coach and tried to ensure that Ryo didn’t realize he wasn’t playing the keys himself.

It was as if they were one, merging here, this night sitting in front of this piano.

He was playing faster and faster, louder and louder, sensing the end coming, irremediably…

Chaining chords, Ryo finally stopped, eyes closed.

When he raised his head, Yamashita was staring at him.

There he was his Ryo, his hair tousled, sweaty, an overspread look on the face. He anchored his gaze in his pupil’s eyes a slight smile on the lips.

Tomohisa was looking at him.

He only saw him.

He was the center of his universe.

And he was so beautiful.

This evidence took his breath away and suddenly he would neither could resist any longer.

There they were, against each other at this piano and Yamashita didn’t want this moment to end so he turned to Ryo, passed his hand behind his neck and pulled him against his body.

Finally, he felt complete when their lips met in a tender kiss.