1 Bottle of Beer on the Wall... [Commentlog]

[sodoffduster]

[Use the sodding journal to get help? You've gotta be more suntouched than Oghren to do that. When he busts out of his cell, wielding a massive warhammer. He's four feet and six inches of sober, dwarven rage. Who the hell dumped him into some cell without bothering so much as to get him drunk first!?]Listen up, whatever nughumper did this better

Comments

[missmimmi]

[So Mimmi was just walking the grounds to get used to her new surroundings when, um.

She saw a man yelling at a cow.

Mimmi doesn't know how else to react to this image except stare.]

[sodoffduster]

Stop staring at my pants, you overgrown nug!

[Oh yes, he's very angry. The cow, however, doesn't seem to care what this tiny man thinks.]

[missmimmi]

[Okay it's time to intervene. He could end up hurting that poor cow.]

Excuse me. I do not think yelling at it will do much good.

[sodoffduster]

[Huh? He whirls on her, almost ready to grab his maul, but seeing as she's just some skinny defenseless human, he backs off.]

Shows what you know, that big ugly beast keeps staring at me!

[missmimmi]

[Mimmi blinks in surprise, and then frowns slightly.]

It is a cow. And yes, it will do that, especially if a giant oaf begins yelling at it.

[sodoffduster]

[Whoa now, nobody is allowed to go around accusing dwarves of being giants.]

Hey! Watch who you're calling giant, long legs.

[missmimmi]

[She doesn't care if you're shorter than her, okay. You are still an oaf.]

I am quite happy with my height.

[sodoffduster]

Heh heh heh, actually, I'm pretty pleased with it myself.

[Good old human women, being so kind as to display their womanly bounties right at eye level.]

[missmimmi]

Good then. That is all settled. Now leave the cow alone, I am sure it has enough things to worry it.

[sodoffduster]

Heh, you've got it. So, how about we start off with your name? Me, I'm Oghren. You've probably hard of my exploits, taking down the Archdemon and so on. Took on the whole damn Blight single handed.

[missmimmi]

My name is Mimmi. And I am afraid I have never heard of you or any of your... exploits.

[sodoffduster]

What, you been too busy staring at the sky? Huh, figures.

[missmimmi]

Nein. I have been busy trying not to die.

[sodoffduster]

Well, if that's what does it for you. So what do you say the two of us go find somewhere private and take a few tumbles?

[missmimmi]

[..............

SIGH.]

I will pass, danke.

[sodoffduster]

[He frowns in disappointment, but hey, that's the way it works. You ask a thousand of 'em until one goes for it.]

Just thought I'd offer. Not too many women get a chance to ride a Grey Warden, if you know what I mean.