For A Laugh-My Politically Correct (Belated) Christmas Greeting (Featured On The PSB Online Forum!)
Hello Everyone,
I wanted to send out some sort of holiday greeting to everyone, but it is so difficult in today's world to know exactly what to say without offending somebody. So I met with my solictor yesterday, and on his advice (and after $399 in solicitors fees) I wish to say the following:
Please accept with no obligation implied or implicit my best wishes for an enviromentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, nonaddictive, gender neutral celebration of the winter (summer in this hemisphere) solstice holiday practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion or secular practices of your choice with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others or their choice not to practice religious or secular practices at all.
I also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition for the onset of the generally accepted calender year of 2005 but not without due respect for the calnders of choice of the other cultures of choice whose contributions have helped make Australia (and the rest of the world-not to imply that Australia is necessarily greater than any other country nor any other country be greater than Australia, this just so happens to be where I am situated) and without regard to the race, creed, colour, age, physical ability, religious faith or sexual preference of the wishee.
By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms: This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for him/herself or others and is void where prohibited by law and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year or until issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher...
Disclaimer: No trees were harmed in the sending of this message. However, a significant number of electrons were slightly inconvenienced!
I wanted to send out some sort of holiday greeting to everyone, but it is so difficult in today's world to know exactly what to say without offending somebody. So I met with my solictor yesterday, and on his advice (and after $399 in solicitors fees) I wish to say the following:
Please accept with no obligation implied or implicit my best wishes for an enviromentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, nonaddictive, gender neutral celebration of the winter (summer in this hemisphere) solstice holiday practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion or secular practices of your choice with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others or their choice not to practice religious or secular practices at all.
I also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition for the onset of the generally accepted calender year of 2005 but not without due respect for the calnders of choice of the other cultures of choice whose contributions have helped make Australia (and the rest of the world-not to imply that Australia is necessarily greater than any other country nor any other country be greater than Australia, this just so happens to be where I am situated) and without regard to the race, creed, colour, age, physical ability, religious faith or sexual preference of the wishee.
By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms: This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for him/herself or others and is void where prohibited by law and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year or until issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher...
Disclaimer: No trees were harmed in the sending of this message. However, a significant number of electrons were slightly inconvenienced!