Fine Winding Tendrils
Prompt o6 : Tears
Characters : Zero / Yuuki
Rating : T
Word Count : 2,439
Summary : Yuuki gets a rude awakening after Kaien comes back barely alive and covered in blood. (Set a day or two after chapter 74 ending)
A/N : This was mostly for fun. I wanted Yuuki to not entirely admit to her yearning for Zero, but I still wanted her to dance around admitting it lol. Zero's just a big tease! ;p
♘ღ♛
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「He'd come back with the smell of blood trailing after him. It had the whole Night Class in an uproar, but thankfully Sara has them calmed down, though I doubt I should be very thankful for her help. However, currently my mind is far too scattered to be thinking clearly.
I'm standing in the entrance way near the door, my hands tugging at the hem of my skirt. Zero and Yagari Sensei are helping the chairman into his room, their hands splotched with red.
Kaname did this? Why? My heart feels so heavy, though it has yet to hit the ground... where it would smash into a million bitter pieces. Why Kaname? Why are you doing this? My eyes are hot with useless tears and I'm falling. My knees greet the wood floor with a stinging thud. It's painful, but I ignore it. A distant pain. They creep down my cheeks, hot burning tears. I wipe furiously at them, but they never stop.
The chairman's-Kaien's… father’s words are still ringing in my ears. Deafening. Endless. “Kaname… I won’t… give you back to him… Yuuki.”
The declaration through his blood-stained lips had left me frozen on the spot. A pair of eyes had been watching me through a curtain of moon-stained hair. When I’d felt his violet gaze, he’d broken the spell at once. It had felt so cold all the sudden. My stomach had dropped through the floor. My heart had felt like… nothing. How can I feel about this? The man I’d thought I knew had attacked someone I love. The mad that I love… had… harmed…
Beside me, something shatters. The sound of glass falling. The sound of my own worthless sobs. Kaname… He’d almost-No! I try desperately to cling to the hazy image of what Kaname-Onii-sama-once was to me. A good vampire. A vampire who’d saved my life. My Onii-Kaname isn’t my Onii-sama. The world is spinning and I feel my heart spiraling down with it. The scream I’ve been suppressing is slowly climbing up my throat.
I feel it again, the unique throb of pureblood power, raw emotion. My back tingles. If only I could fly away. Why Kaname? Is this how we start over? Is this… the Kaname you kept from me? My scream is choked by blubbering moans. Is this your true face that you hid behind my sweet Onii-sama’s?
“I hear it’s shameful for a pureblood to cry in front of others who are beneath them. Unheard of really.”
At the sound of his voice, the energy around me diminishes and I attempt an annoyed sigh, which is regrettably interrupted by a hiccup. “I don’t care.”
I hear an empty chuckle and a pair of arms is suddenly lifting me up. I spare a shy glance through my bangs to find Zero looking ahead, his amethyst eyes unreadable. I secretly inhale his scent. Nostalgic. He sits me on a nearby couch and gracefully distances himself on the other side of the room. I watch him as his fingers dance along the table where we used to enjoy all our meals as a family. Family. The word is an ache in the pit of my chest. I quickly look away.
Zero… starting over. Kaname… starting over. Back to square one.
“I…” my voice wavers and I look anywhere but at his penetrating eyes. “I feel so alone. I feel like… I’m not even on the same planet anymore.”
It’s easy to talk to you Zero, to tell you what I’m really thinking, even now... when we are worlds apart. Why is that? I’ve… always known, haven’t I?
“It’s called ‘realization’.” He deadpans.
I curl into the couch, pulling my knees to my chest. I’d been so childish. All my attempts to be more than what I was have been for naught. Now, someone close to me has suffered and I didn’t do anything. Could I have done something? Kaname’s eyes scorch my memories and I bite my tongue, drawing blood. I swallow the proverbial flavor-tangy, warm. I haven’t truly been what I can be. Now it’s time… and I’m not ready.
“Zero… why do you do what you do?” I look at him directly for once, our gazes piercing. “Is it just because of duty, or desire? Or because you need a sense of worth? Is it because you enjoy it, killing vampires?”
His lips are an indecipherable line and his eyes are a dim flicker of lilac behind those silver locks. I wait for his answer, if he even chooses to give it. The room is cold, silent. The night outside the window is not near as cold as this room. Goosebumps blanket my skin and I shiver, taking the chance to avert my eyes. Zero is still Zero? Yes… but… There is something different about Zero. He is holding something back.
“A means to an end.” His whisper cuts through the heavy silence.
My eyes focus only on his chest. I still can’t meet his eyes. “What do you mean by that?”
He chuckles, a bitter sound. “I would have figured being the fiancé of Kaname Kuran would have taught you something about a means to an end.”
I want to be mad at him, but my anger is instantly overshadowed by all the things Kaname had done... all the people he had used... just to keep me safe. A means to an end. That's what Zero had been to Kaname. That's what Aidou, and Ruka... and father had been to... that man. All these people that had loved him and gave him their loyalty... all just a means to an end. Why? How can you see them as just pieces? What am I to you, truly... Kaname?
I swallow thickly. "That's not fair. Kaname has done what he believed needed to be done."
Zero scoffs. "Your lips say one thing, while your eyes say another."
I suddenly bristle. "And your lips haven't said one thing, while your eyes said another? I'd never wanted to sever our connection! You are precious to me, Zero! You are the one who left me simply because of your prejudice! I'd never wanted to lose you." Tears are choking me. "I have always been whatever Zero has needed me to be... whatever Kaname has needed me to be." My heart is pounding. "I gave you something to chase and Kaname something to hide behind!"
I couldn't have stopped my last words. They poured from my mouth like rushing water, wild, heavy, and loud. The room is heavier than before, the silence deafening. I inhale cautiously, as if I don't want Zero to hear. So foolish. I'm sure he can hear the chaotic pounding of my heart. I lick my lips... the taste of salty tears.
"So it would seem you see more than you allow yourself to believe." Zero's words cut through the stillness. "Are you finally willing to admit that you are in a game too advanced for you, considering the fact that you are still unwilling to commit some of the actions that are required of a leader?"
He is belittling me. I glare up at him, my lips peeling back over my teeth in a snarl. "I will do what it takes, whatever is necessary!"
"Even killing, Kuran princess?"
My words die in my mouth. I don't even realize that my chin is trembling. Killing… It’s something that Zero never has seemed to have a problem with but… I swallow thickly. How can I? How can I carry something like that? Something… that is so heavy… Kaname’s face floods my mind and he smiles at me, a painful smile. Zero is watching me, waiting.
I want Zero to smile… I want… Zero’s smile.
Both Kaname and Zero… both carry such burdens. My nails bite venomous crescents into my skin. They’ve carried those things on their own. They didn’t run or hide… like me. I bury my face into my knees. “I… I don’t know.”
Silence.
“The only time I’ve ever felt like I could do anything… is when you or Kaname are beside me.” I whisper. “I’ve never felt that I am strong enough to be… on my own. Now… Kaname… is… I don’t…” My sobs echo in the vast darkness.
Something moves beside me. A rush of that nostalgic scent. Zero’s scent… Cool fingers comb through my hair, a tender gesture. My heart skips. Warmth radiates from him and I want to move nearer, but I can’t move. Those cool fingers graze along my jaw and I shiver involuntarily. Slowly, his thumb curls under my chin and brings my eyes to face him. He is hovering above me, his gaze hidden by silvery shadow. I want to see his eyes… moonstone lavender.
His lips are curling. “You have only ever understood living off others, like a parasite.” Cruel words… “You are the worst kind of vampire.” From such a familiar voice… my Zero’s voice.
My eyes blur with newfound tears and I jerk away from him. “You say such cruel things to me, Zero. And, I’ve said such cruel things.”
… the worst kind of vampire…
All my life, I’ve lived considering other people’s happiness and never my own. I’ve selfishly survived off their joy without ever creating my own, like a wolf cub unwilling to be weaned from mother’s milk.
… like a parasite…
My gaze drifts back to Zero. He is watching me, and though he appears indifferent, I can see the intensity beneath his violet eyes. The smell of his skin is tempting. My fangs brush my bottom lip and I inhale, surprised. Zero’s eyes center on my fangs, his intensity burning through, heating up my flesh.
My fangs know exactly what I want… and who…
My heart shivers. What is this feeling? Vulnerable… new… I breathe in, letting my senses savor him. We’ve only ever hurt one another to move forward… is that because... I’ve been denying… ?“For the first time in my life, I’d reacted with only self intent when I drank your blood.” My voice is so small. “As I said, I didn’t do it because you asked it of me. I didn’t do it for mutual interest.” Realization. “I did it because my fangs knew exactly what I really wanted… what I’ve always wanted.”
His hand cups my cheek, gentle. “Just like a pureblood.”
They sting my eyes again, tears of shame. I am ashamed. I am childish. I am selfish. Zero has always been able to show me these things. Zero has loved me, while I have remained undeserving of his love. My hands are tangled in his coat, gripping at his uniform. I have chased after a man whom I thought I knew, but never understood. I have cast aside a man I never realized I understood, and promised to never leave behind.
“Zero…” his name is a desperate sob. No. I must be stronger. I’m not the Yuuki of the past. I take a deep breath to calm myself and look directly in his eyes. “Zero. I don’t want to be that Yuuki anymore. I want to be a Yuuki that will do what’s right. I want to be a Yuuki that can stand beside her loved ones… not behind them.”
His eyes flicker and the world suddenly tumbles around me. I look up at him in surprise as I find my shoulders pinned beneath his hands and his legs straddling my waist. A blush colors my cheeks and I hiccup. “Zero?!”
"You keep dancing around the subject without ever answering." He smirks. "I bet if I asked you flat out you couldn't answer me. What do you want?"
I sniff the air, a different kind of hunger... one I am too shy to think about. Warmth pools in the pit of my stomach. What do I want? "It's not that simple." I breathe.
What about Kaname? I'd only ever known life as a vampire with him... I owe him my life for saving me all those years ago. I belong to... but I want-
Zero's fingertips kiss my cheek, his nails whispering along my skin. "Yes it is. What do you want?"
I can't look into those piercing amaranthine moons anymore. "It's not..."
His breath is hot against my neck, devastating. "It's safe to dance around a subject without ever actually having taken a chance, isn't it?"
My body is trembling. "I..."
His fingertips suddenly press into my cheeks and I gasp as I feel his nails cutting flesh. Bittersweet sickles instantly heal. "You said you don't want to be the old Yuuki anymore." He purrs. The sound sends my already stirring body overboard. "But you still want to play childish games."
I suddenly bristle. "No!" My hands become iron around his wrists. "I'm not a child anymore. I will not be treated like one."
He leans back to look at me; our noses brush. "Then answer my question, Yuuki." My name is a serrated whisper of silk from his lips. "What..." his breath tickles my jaw, slowly moving down my neck, "do you want?"
Zero has changed. My body is quivering. These sensations aren't new, but the intensity is different. The hunger is... different. "Zero!" I gasp. "It's not that simple, dammit!" My fingernails are digging into his wrists. My lips are curling around my teeth in a half-hearted snarl. "Zero!"
"It is that simple, princess." His tongue teases my skin. Zero is bolder... Zero is... "I know what I want."
My body is screaming with anticipation for the knife-like feel of fangs... but it doesn't come. Zero can surely hear the thunderous beat of my heart. That's when I realize the wounds I've inflicted on his wrists. My cheeks turn even redder and I move to pull away, but Zero is already off me and turning around. He resisted... My mouth falls open. "Zero?"
He keeps walking. "I can admit what I want, princess. If you can't truly admit it to yourself, then go back to your doll house in the mountains." With those words, he opens the door to my father's chamber and steps inside, shutting the door behind him.
Zero has changed. Anger suddenly flares up in me. I can admit things! I can admit that I want... I slowly sit up, shivering. "What I really want... My fangs have always known." Though, I'm unwilling to openly admit it. "What I want..." My eyes drift to the door of my father's chamber, Zero's scent still heavy in the air. "What I truly want..." 」
✦✦✦✦✦✦✦☢✦✦✦✦✦✦✦
Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed this piece! X3
❧ main page
❧ fan fiction journal
❧ graphics journal
Characters : Zero / Yuuki
Rating : T
Word Count : 2,439
Summary : Yuuki gets a rude awakening after Kaien comes back barely alive and covered in blood. (Set a day or two after chapter 74 ending)
A/N : This was mostly for fun. I wanted Yuuki to not entirely admit to her yearning for Zero, but I still wanted her to dance around admitting it lol. Zero's just a big tease! ;p
♘ღ♛
▪ ▪ ▪
「He'd come back with the smell of blood trailing after him. It had the whole Night Class in an uproar, but thankfully Sara has them calmed down, though I doubt I should be very thankful for her help. However, currently my mind is far too scattered to be thinking clearly.
I'm standing in the entrance way near the door, my hands tugging at the hem of my skirt. Zero and Yagari Sensei are helping the chairman into his room, their hands splotched with red.
Kaname did this? Why? My heart feels so heavy, though it has yet to hit the ground... where it would smash into a million bitter pieces. Why Kaname? Why are you doing this? My eyes are hot with useless tears and I'm falling. My knees greet the wood floor with a stinging thud. It's painful, but I ignore it. A distant pain. They creep down my cheeks, hot burning tears. I wipe furiously at them, but they never stop.
The chairman's-Kaien's… father’s words are still ringing in my ears. Deafening. Endless. “Kaname… I won’t… give you back to him… Yuuki.”
The declaration through his blood-stained lips had left me frozen on the spot. A pair of eyes had been watching me through a curtain of moon-stained hair. When I’d felt his violet gaze, he’d broken the spell at once. It had felt so cold all the sudden. My stomach had dropped through the floor. My heart had felt like… nothing. How can I feel about this? The man I’d thought I knew had attacked someone I love. The mad that I love… had… harmed…
Beside me, something shatters. The sound of glass falling. The sound of my own worthless sobs. Kaname… He’d almost-No! I try desperately to cling to the hazy image of what Kaname-Onii-sama-once was to me. A good vampire. A vampire who’d saved my life. My Onii-Kaname isn’t my Onii-sama. The world is spinning and I feel my heart spiraling down with it. The scream I’ve been suppressing is slowly climbing up my throat.
I feel it again, the unique throb of pureblood power, raw emotion. My back tingles. If only I could fly away. Why Kaname? Is this how we start over? Is this… the Kaname you kept from me? My scream is choked by blubbering moans. Is this your true face that you hid behind my sweet Onii-sama’s?
“I hear it’s shameful for a pureblood to cry in front of others who are beneath them. Unheard of really.”
At the sound of his voice, the energy around me diminishes and I attempt an annoyed sigh, which is regrettably interrupted by a hiccup. “I don’t care.”
I hear an empty chuckle and a pair of arms is suddenly lifting me up. I spare a shy glance through my bangs to find Zero looking ahead, his amethyst eyes unreadable. I secretly inhale his scent. Nostalgic. He sits me on a nearby couch and gracefully distances himself on the other side of the room. I watch him as his fingers dance along the table where we used to enjoy all our meals as a family. Family. The word is an ache in the pit of my chest. I quickly look away.
Zero… starting over. Kaname… starting over. Back to square one.
“I…” my voice wavers and I look anywhere but at his penetrating eyes. “I feel so alone. I feel like… I’m not even on the same planet anymore.”
It’s easy to talk to you Zero, to tell you what I’m really thinking, even now... when we are worlds apart. Why is that? I’ve… always known, haven’t I?
“It’s called ‘realization’.” He deadpans.
I curl into the couch, pulling my knees to my chest. I’d been so childish. All my attempts to be more than what I was have been for naught. Now, someone close to me has suffered and I didn’t do anything. Could I have done something? Kaname’s eyes scorch my memories and I bite my tongue, drawing blood. I swallow the proverbial flavor-tangy, warm. I haven’t truly been what I can be. Now it’s time… and I’m not ready.
“Zero… why do you do what you do?” I look at him directly for once, our gazes piercing. “Is it just because of duty, or desire? Or because you need a sense of worth? Is it because you enjoy it, killing vampires?”
His lips are an indecipherable line and his eyes are a dim flicker of lilac behind those silver locks. I wait for his answer, if he even chooses to give it. The room is cold, silent. The night outside the window is not near as cold as this room. Goosebumps blanket my skin and I shiver, taking the chance to avert my eyes. Zero is still Zero? Yes… but… There is something different about Zero. He is holding something back.
“A means to an end.” His whisper cuts through the heavy silence.
My eyes focus only on his chest. I still can’t meet his eyes. “What do you mean by that?”
He chuckles, a bitter sound. “I would have figured being the fiancé of Kaname Kuran would have taught you something about a means to an end.”
I want to be mad at him, but my anger is instantly overshadowed by all the things Kaname had done... all the people he had used... just to keep me safe. A means to an end. That's what Zero had been to Kaname. That's what Aidou, and Ruka... and father had been to... that man. All these people that had loved him and gave him their loyalty... all just a means to an end. Why? How can you see them as just pieces? What am I to you, truly... Kaname?
I swallow thickly. "That's not fair. Kaname has done what he believed needed to be done."
Zero scoffs. "Your lips say one thing, while your eyes say another."
I suddenly bristle. "And your lips haven't said one thing, while your eyes said another? I'd never wanted to sever our connection! You are precious to me, Zero! You are the one who left me simply because of your prejudice! I'd never wanted to lose you." Tears are choking me. "I have always been whatever Zero has needed me to be... whatever Kaname has needed me to be." My heart is pounding. "I gave you something to chase and Kaname something to hide behind!"
I couldn't have stopped my last words. They poured from my mouth like rushing water, wild, heavy, and loud. The room is heavier than before, the silence deafening. I inhale cautiously, as if I don't want Zero to hear. So foolish. I'm sure he can hear the chaotic pounding of my heart. I lick my lips... the taste of salty tears.
"So it would seem you see more than you allow yourself to believe." Zero's words cut through the stillness. "Are you finally willing to admit that you are in a game too advanced for you, considering the fact that you are still unwilling to commit some of the actions that are required of a leader?"
He is belittling me. I glare up at him, my lips peeling back over my teeth in a snarl. "I will do what it takes, whatever is necessary!"
"Even killing, Kuran princess?"
My words die in my mouth. I don't even realize that my chin is trembling. Killing… It’s something that Zero never has seemed to have a problem with but… I swallow thickly. How can I? How can I carry something like that? Something… that is so heavy… Kaname’s face floods my mind and he smiles at me, a painful smile. Zero is watching me, waiting.
I want Zero to smile… I want… Zero’s smile.
Both Kaname and Zero… both carry such burdens. My nails bite venomous crescents into my skin. They’ve carried those things on their own. They didn’t run or hide… like me. I bury my face into my knees. “I… I don’t know.”
Silence.
“The only time I’ve ever felt like I could do anything… is when you or Kaname are beside me.” I whisper. “I’ve never felt that I am strong enough to be… on my own. Now… Kaname… is… I don’t…” My sobs echo in the vast darkness.
Something moves beside me. A rush of that nostalgic scent. Zero’s scent… Cool fingers comb through my hair, a tender gesture. My heart skips. Warmth radiates from him and I want to move nearer, but I can’t move. Those cool fingers graze along my jaw and I shiver involuntarily. Slowly, his thumb curls under my chin and brings my eyes to face him. He is hovering above me, his gaze hidden by silvery shadow. I want to see his eyes… moonstone lavender.
His lips are curling. “You have only ever understood living off others, like a parasite.” Cruel words… “You are the worst kind of vampire.” From such a familiar voice… my Zero’s voice.
My eyes blur with newfound tears and I jerk away from him. “You say such cruel things to me, Zero. And, I’ve said such cruel things.”
… the worst kind of vampire…
All my life, I’ve lived considering other people’s happiness and never my own. I’ve selfishly survived off their joy without ever creating my own, like a wolf cub unwilling to be weaned from mother’s milk.
… like a parasite…
My gaze drifts back to Zero. He is watching me, and though he appears indifferent, I can see the intensity beneath his violet eyes. The smell of his skin is tempting. My fangs brush my bottom lip and I inhale, surprised. Zero’s eyes center on my fangs, his intensity burning through, heating up my flesh.
My fangs know exactly what I want… and who…
My heart shivers. What is this feeling? Vulnerable… new… I breathe in, letting my senses savor him. We’ve only ever hurt one another to move forward… is that because... I’ve been denying… ?“For the first time in my life, I’d reacted with only self intent when I drank your blood.” My voice is so small. “As I said, I didn’t do it because you asked it of me. I didn’t do it for mutual interest.” Realization. “I did it because my fangs knew exactly what I really wanted… what I’ve always wanted.”
His hand cups my cheek, gentle. “Just like a pureblood.”
They sting my eyes again, tears of shame. I am ashamed. I am childish. I am selfish. Zero has always been able to show me these things. Zero has loved me, while I have remained undeserving of his love. My hands are tangled in his coat, gripping at his uniform. I have chased after a man whom I thought I knew, but never understood. I have cast aside a man I never realized I understood, and promised to never leave behind.
“Zero…” his name is a desperate sob. No. I must be stronger. I’m not the Yuuki of the past. I take a deep breath to calm myself and look directly in his eyes. “Zero. I don’t want to be that Yuuki anymore. I want to be a Yuuki that will do what’s right. I want to be a Yuuki that can stand beside her loved ones… not behind them.”
His eyes flicker and the world suddenly tumbles around me. I look up at him in surprise as I find my shoulders pinned beneath his hands and his legs straddling my waist. A blush colors my cheeks and I hiccup. “Zero?!”
"You keep dancing around the subject without ever answering." He smirks. "I bet if I asked you flat out you couldn't answer me. What do you want?"
I sniff the air, a different kind of hunger... one I am too shy to think about. Warmth pools in the pit of my stomach. What do I want? "It's not that simple." I breathe.
What about Kaname? I'd only ever known life as a vampire with him... I owe him my life for saving me all those years ago. I belong to... but I want-
Zero's fingertips kiss my cheek, his nails whispering along my skin. "Yes it is. What do you want?"
I can't look into those piercing amaranthine moons anymore. "It's not..."
His breath is hot against my neck, devastating. "It's safe to dance around a subject without ever actually having taken a chance, isn't it?"
My body is trembling. "I..."
His fingertips suddenly press into my cheeks and I gasp as I feel his nails cutting flesh. Bittersweet sickles instantly heal. "You said you don't want to be the old Yuuki anymore." He purrs. The sound sends my already stirring body overboard. "But you still want to play childish games."
I suddenly bristle. "No!" My hands become iron around his wrists. "I'm not a child anymore. I will not be treated like one."
He leans back to look at me; our noses brush. "Then answer my question, Yuuki." My name is a serrated whisper of silk from his lips. "What..." his breath tickles my jaw, slowly moving down my neck, "do you want?"
Zero has changed. My body is quivering. These sensations aren't new, but the intensity is different. The hunger is... different. "Zero!" I gasp. "It's not that simple, dammit!" My fingernails are digging into his wrists. My lips are curling around my teeth in a half-hearted snarl. "Zero!"
"It is that simple, princess." His tongue teases my skin. Zero is bolder... Zero is... "I know what I want."
My body is screaming with anticipation for the knife-like feel of fangs... but it doesn't come. Zero can surely hear the thunderous beat of my heart. That's when I realize the wounds I've inflicted on his wrists. My cheeks turn even redder and I move to pull away, but Zero is already off me and turning around. He resisted... My mouth falls open. "Zero?"
He keeps walking. "I can admit what I want, princess. If you can't truly admit it to yourself, then go back to your doll house in the mountains." With those words, he opens the door to my father's chamber and steps inside, shutting the door behind him.
Zero has changed. Anger suddenly flares up in me. I can admit things! I can admit that I want... I slowly sit up, shivering. "What I really want... My fangs have always known." Though, I'm unwilling to openly admit it. "What I want..." My eyes drift to the door of my father's chamber, Zero's scent still heavy in the air. "What I truly want..." 」
✦✦✦✦✦✦✦☢✦✦✦✦✦✦✦
Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed this piece! X3
❧ main page
❧ fan fiction journal
❧ graphics journal