everyth ing feels shitty, and i just dont know what to do anymore.

 i am so angry. i am ready to go on a violent rampage across all the continents. assholes beware! roxanne is coming for you! but she isnt. really its just the one asshole who is causing this stupid bullshit. im so sick of stupid bullshit. why cant things be easier? i guess i dont wishe things were easier, because that would mean becoming one of ( Read more... )

 i keep waiting for things to change and for me to feel better, but with each change that's taken place, ive remained the same. i know what i have to do to better myself, BY myself, but suddenly i am this horribly weak person crumbling in fear with the slightest touch. im sick of feeling so sad and confused, wishing and waiting for everything to ( Read more... )

the past week has been the most stressful week of my life. but its okay for the moment, because im back in the mindset of blocking every little stressful thing out until i absolutly HAVE to face it, which is bad i know, but what choice do i have? everyday cannot be a fucking breakdown. i wont let myself come to that. before yesterday i dont know ( Read more... )

it is a 100% full moon night, and i dont know where sydney is, so i guess i wont be doing anything crazy tonight. i just work 4-midnight, but im all wired. i should get alot of sleep but i dont think that's going to happen. tomorrow i work 10-3 then 4-midnight. it makes me die a little just thinking about it. pout ( Read more... )

i left school early today and called out of work again. i am bad. at least it was legitimate, so i dont really feel bad.

i got bored because ive just been sitting at my house all day, so i decided to start packing up my room. it seemed like a good idea at the time, because this hasnt felt like my room since i got back from looking at colleges in the ( Read more... )

now we must select with extreme caution our lovers ( Read more... )

after just spending close to an hour reading about the college shooting in virginia, i cant help but realize that americans, myself included cant feel as much for things that aren't close to home for us. instead of thinking of all the people dieing in iraq, they are mortified when someone murders 30 people in an american institution. obviously what ( Read more... )

I sit cross-legged

My back to the house

Listening to the tiny crackling

Caused by each drag

Of my cigarette.

I think of you, and all the things

That will never become

Of us, and blow my smoke

At the sky.

I’m hoping the smoke-clouds

Will reach the stars,

But gaze at them as they

Dissipate into nothing.

And realize that even these stars

May have stopped

Existing.

• I get my braces off on monday
• I'm hopefully getting my tattoo the following saturday
• my dad comes home tomorrow after traveling for the last 4 weeks with little breaks in between
• it is the 4th quarter of senior year, finally
• vacation is only a week and a half away