Lifeboats

[soidistant]

Lifeboats, 4124 words, written for fiddlings for the Quotes challenge at inrevelations. Original fiction.

Warning: Unedited/unbetaed mostly because of time constraints, but also because I don't actually have a beta :( My apologies in advance for any glaring errors!

(fiddlings, I hope you enjoy your story! I tried to work with the prompt, and was originally going to attempt

Comments

[nocturnes]

(If you ever want a beta, I can try! I actually really enjoy editing things for people, haha.)

Michelle felt very real to me, and it helped that she sort of fits my physical description, so it was even easier to picture her in my head. And I think your description of her lying awake at night was particularly relatable, because I definitely have nights like that even though I wish I didn't.

Adam feels very real to me too, but in a way that makes me want to punch him, because it's completely unfair how good-looking charming guys can get away with so much. Ugh, life.

I especially love your use second-person narrative, because it is inclusive of everyone reading while creating distance from the speaker at the same time. It's very fitting for this piece, because I think Michelle both wants others to understand why she's doing this, but to distance herself from it to, because it's hurting her so much.

(I have just realized how many 'because's this comment contains, but I will leave it because my brain is very dead right now.)

[soidistant]

Thank you Emily! I'm glad you enjoyed it - and I didn't even realize Michelle fit your physical description, but now that I think about it, she really does :O I based her off an RL friend though... whose name is actually Michelle, lol while Adam is another RL guy-I-know (though thankfully his name isn't *actually* Adam) and yeahhh, I'm not very creative.

But trust me, I want to punch RL Adam in the face, too ;)

I think you have a good hold on Michelle's character! She's very introverted, and tends to bottle things up, and I really wanted to get into a character like that's head.

[soidistant]

Oh! Also, thank you so much for the beta offer - I will probably take that up on you some day ;)

I'll also offer the same service, though... I tend to be a pretty harsh beta-type, as a warning. Idek why, since my stories aren't exactly all that great. *headdesk* I think I'm better at critique-ing than I am at actually creating.

[openmoments]

This was absolutely beautiful! The ending was heartbreaking, but we knew that from the beginning.

I'm sure fiddlings will love it. =D

[lusimeles]

Thank you, darling! I feel like a lot of girls get themselves into these situations for "love," and I really wanted to explore that. I hope fiddlings will enjoy this when she reads it, too! :)

[openmoments]

Icon love!

I'd agree, though of course not personally...I seem to have skipped the whole 'romance and relationships' as a teen....so far anyways.

But it was beautifully written. Now if only I could be inspired to finish mine. -fails-

[lusimeles]

Hee. Back at you! That is one cute alien dragging another... less cute but still oddly endearing alien with it (her?) ;)

In a way I sort of WISH I'd skipped all the romance drama as a teen, because - yeah, when you're sixteen, you're not exactly known for having good judgment. On the other hand, it makes for good angst to use later in life when writing stories like these, haha.

Good luck with finishing yours! Tbh I rushed most of mine because the deadline came a lot quicker than I'd anticipated, so - I'm sure if you prod at it a bit, the muses will definitely sing to you!

[synecdoche]

I really loved this -- the gradual reveal of character was so well done, and the prose was really really lovely. Thanks so much for sharing! ♥

[lusimeles]

Thank you so much for the lovely comment!

[theepiccek]

Oh man, this is so realistic. It's incredible.

(and like nocturnes I want to punch Adam in the face)

[lusimeles]

Heh, oh trust me, I'd LOVE to punch the RL-counterpart of Adam in the face, too... ;)

And thank you! I feel like I've known a lot of Michelles in my life, so I just wanted to try to get into one of their heads to write this. I'm glad it came off realistically!

[animus_mentis]

they will finish reading your story before they even get to the ending because who needs an ending when you're already read the very best part - the part between a girl's thighs, where it's dark and wet and always open for interpretation
This made my stomach turn. It made me angry to think about how there really are guys out there like this. And it reminds me why I waited so long to do anything with anyone.

You were you for far too long before you decided you should become somebody else; the combination of your own genes and upbringing have made it impossible for you to change.
This rings a bell for me...my life...some days I wish I was more extroverted, didn't need at least 8 hours of sleep...had energy to do things. It upsets me because I'm not what he could see himself with for longer than 7 months. Even though I blame him for it.

You fell in love and got your heart smashed, and you, if anything, are far worse off than you were before.Exactly

[lusimeles]

This made my stomach turn. It made me angry to think about how there really are guys out there like this. And it reminds me why I waited so long to do anything with anyone.

I agree. This was probably one of the passages that was most personal to me, since I was writing from my own experience (with the expectation of course, that it was a fairly universal one). Sometimes the male sex just horribly disappoints me :(

And... *hugs you tightly* - dude, Celeste, I wish I could say something to make you feel better! I can only imagine how tough this would be for you, since I've never been with anybody longer than four months myself - seven months would definitely be sufficient for there to be a lasting emotional impact. Maybe some things just aren't meant to be, and you have to date somebody like Adam before you find just the right guy for you? I think you're just fine the way you are, even though you're not a complete extrovert or something. If he can't see that, then like you said - his loss.

[animus_mentis]

I don't think anyone can say anything to make me feel better. And I feel like such a blubbering idiot for not being able to move on and get over it. On the outside I come off as someone who can handle herself. But when someone or something becomes really important to me, that loss hits me hard.

I know it's not a good comparison, but I'm still not 100% over having had to go to a university that I didn't want to go to. To reiterate, it felt like a betrayal of my parents when I found out the impression I'd been working under for 4 years' worth of hard IB high school academics had been pulled out from under me. And if I'm still bitter about that sometimes when I'm grumpy, how long is this going to last? I know I can't rush into another relationship. I'm not ready emotionally and it wouldn't be fair to the guy, not to mention right now I'd feel guilty for looking to someone else for an ego boost even though I shouldn't feel guilty.

I don't think I've gone a day yet without at least tearing up. I'm just so unhappy right now.

[soidistant]

At least you can admit it! I think that actually takes MORE strength, tbh. So often people bottle these things up because they're afraid of being perceived as weak, but if you are really strong, you'll know that expressing the fact that you're actually hurt by this doesn't reflect on your personal strength. ER. THAT'S BADLY EXPLAINED, BUT... basically, yeah, you feel like you can afford to be more open about this stuff? I'd take it as a good sign