i long for a bed.
created by you and i.
in a room filled with brightest lights and salty ocean air.
sand filling the cracks between the floor boards.
of waking up at dawn
to the sounds of morning birds and the roosters crow
dense fog and wet grass
the animals gathering

i long for our good mornings

the future is so uncertain

"there is a loneliness that exists in one's mind. the loneliest
moment in someone's life is when they are watching their
whole world fall apart, and all they do is stare blankly."

-F. Scott Fitzgerald 'the great gatsby

you'd think with all the foolishness in the world, the least we could do is keep from breaking our own hearts...

we do what we need to be free

you are the warmth of a womb. i watch
from you the changing patterns in weather
and dread the anxiety of traffic

there is no place to walk for a fresh baguette
or sit for tea
there is not the ocean water air or fields of uncut grass
to read poems

burning bridges

eleven after noon. got rid of the cat piss stank with patchouli and lavender. first glass of wine. almost time for a shower. it's been so long since i've been alone. as much as i crave time being by myself- its easier when i know someone will be returning eventually to chat with me. this endevour in solitude. i miss everyone so much.

well. its official. without my road bike and all the rain- the city of lynnwood officially sucks ( Read more... )

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YRmJfGZeX_g

this apartment on most days, can feel like a morgue. artifacts and paintings, photographs and letters everywhere.
reminding us all the complexity of love and the difficulty in attachment.
i can't leave.
spend my days working, schooling, meditating
distancing myself
distracting myself from the emotions i reveal
lying alone
not ready to let go