That was a business card and not a love note, right?

[sol_invictus_99]

It has been a fine weekend spent with existing friends as well as new acquaintances. I have one important point to make, however.

The exchange of a business card by a man to a woman or vice versa should never be interpreted as a romantic overture, especially when the surrounding conversation is 75% business, and the remainder casual smalltalk,

Comments

[twolakes]

hi-
i noticed you wrote on my journal, i don't really use it anymore but i was scrolling through yours, and found this.

i've been thinking of doing something like this myself, though from the other perspective. there was no exchange of business cards, no formal exchange of anything really, just names when we met, and casual conversation there after. almost a week has passed since our last class together and i cant stop thinking about him.

what is it about "that sort of grasping" makes you nervous?

[sol_invictus_99]

Ah, well, I am glad you revisited LJ at least for a little while

[twolakes]

i totally understand this. its just difficult, because though we are both in new york, we lead completely different lives and its unlikely we will cross paths again for a while, if at all. honestly we didn't get to know each other too well. we held this strange apprehension towards one another, but we had these recurrent silent exchanges - we'd look fixedly at one another and then sort of half-smile as we recognized such - that emanated such warmness that it was intoxicating, and comforting, because it was mutual. however, though i am not one to fabricate any sort of false emotion to appease wishful thinking, there is a small chance we did not really share this sensation, or at least not to the same extent. the ambiguity of it all just complicates the whole thing even more: if i were to contact him, he might be totally confused as to my rationale. i suppose i have to decide whether i am willing to risk this for sake of having closure or if i should take your advice and abandon this altogether?

[sol_invictus_99]

I would not discourage you from contacting him, but I would wait at least a couple of weeks, for a number of reasons.

Also, keep in mind that some people have natural chemistry. It can be social, romantic, sexual, etc, but rarely does chemistry exist across the board. You might very well be, to use a hypnosis term, highly suggestible to each other. I have experienced this fleeting but memorable sensation on a few occasions, and one of those led to a three-year relationship (an intense but ultimately disastrous one).

Closure is valuable, and contacting him will either confirm your feelings of connection or make you both realize that it was an "in-the-moment" phenomenon that no longer holds water. It certainly cannot hurt to try, but I recommend starting this on the basis of friendship. If more potential exists between you, it will reveal itself.