70.
Private to Self//Super Hard to Hack
[The sigh is soft, sad, far heavier than any sword or burden he has ever shouldered before. His voice is a low murmur, restrained, quiet, so utterly unlike the bouncy puppy most are use to seeing and hearing. It's easy to think that someone's stolen his communicator and is trying a piss-poor impression of him.]
He's right. Funny that no matter how crazy he is, he's still right about things like that. What right do I have to get upset, when I killed Angeal more than Karasu ever has. I don't have a right to even be around him. Shiva, he should be trying to get me away from him!
Am I as dangerous as Karasu?
But he doesn't show any remorse. I did. I still do. Doesn't that separate us?
Angeal's not letting me get involved now, but he kept me at arm's length with the Wizard's Glass, too. Is this any different? Of course, if what Karasu said is true, they've kissed, so maybe I've already lost any way to reason with Angeal at all.
But I can't give up. I can't. Even if I am a hypocrite.
And I am. I know I am. Sephiroth didn't need to tell me about the crimes I won't ever let myself forget.
Maybe Valeria will know what to do. I feel bad that she's stuck here, but thank Shiva for a familiar face when I need one the most. Aerith's quiet, otherwise I'd ask her. She'd probably know what to do. She'd know how feel, especially since...
...since she saw me after.
But I never forgave myself. Never. I didn't do it because I wanted to, and if I had been thinking things through, I would have found another way out of it. But, it's my biggest regret, and it's one I'll never relinquish.
Karasu... he'd just keep killing him and smiling and lying about it. He'd kill him until there's nothing of Angeal left, just like he did with Genesis. Why am I the only one who can see this?!
[He sighs.]
Sephiroth's right.
But he's not completely right.
That means something, right?
Val? If you need someone to show you around, let me know. Give me a reason to drag Cloud out, too; he owes me a couple drinks, and I'm sure he won't mind covering yours, either. He's generous like that.
Sheik? Don't wait up for me tonight. I might go crash at Cloud's if he doesn't mind.