[FIC] (True Blood) Dear Diary [Property of Jessica Hamby] (or My Two Daddies)
Title: Dear Diary [Property of Jessica Hamby] (or My Two Daddies)
Rating: G
Pairing/Characters: Jessica Hamby, Bill Compton/Eric Northman (True Blood)
Word Count: 1,184
Disclaimer: The following story is untrue and does not reflect in any way the characters from the book or the tv show. I make no profit off from this.
Summary: Jessica writes in her diary. She sees things more clearly than Sookie does, obviously.
Notes: I got this idea from this picture at which one breatheonit said: It's like a wedding picture of two gay dads and their kids. (via metatarsus). And this is late night crack. Sort of. Yeah, I don't know either. I'll have an actual writing fic maybe in the future to appease this whut one. Spoiler up to 2x10.
Dear Diary,
Today I got turned into a vampire. It sucked. But now I can swear like a sailor. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK.
It makes me happy. Uh oh, I’m hungry now. Tru Blood time.
*
Dear Diary,
BILL SUCKS.
*
Dear Diary,
Since my human daddy never taught me how to drive before I got turned, Bill now had to teach me how to drive. It’s not my fault if I stepped on the pedal too hard! Luckily, we were in the middle of nowhere, so I didn’t end up killing anyone, or damage the car. I do miss my parents and even my stupid sister.
Enough about them. Bill is being an idiot as usual. He keeps holding onto his cellphone like he’s going to crush the tiny thing the next time he gets emo. I walked by earlier and casually told him to just call him. But of course Bill is too bull-headed to do that. I could tell he’s not excited at all to be baby sitting me. I even offered to stay at home by myself, but of course he said, in his weird accented voice - “You’re a newborn. I’m your maker, it’s my obligation to watch over you until you mature.”
Blah Blah Blah. Fuck you. I’m going to go play some Wii.
*
Dear Diary,
I’ve been turned for a week and I still haven’t left the house once! He wouldn’t even let me go to Fangtasia. I told him that they are plenty of vampires there watching over me. He hadn’t been over to the bar at all either and I could tell he’s getting antsy and moodier by the minute. And my sister told me I was inconsiderate. I should be the model of considerate…sy. And Eric’s there. Eric will never let me get in trouble. He’s the Sheriff after all. Hey, I guess some of Bill’s lessons did end up going into my undead brain. And he said I wasn’t listening. Ha.
Now I’m going to go and prod on Bill some more to get him to take me to Fangtasia. He keeps mentioning the damn bar. It makes a girl curious!
*
Dear Diary,
FINALLY I GOT TO GO TO FANGTASIA. So here’s now it went down. After bugging him again and again to take me to the vampire bar (which he said no to plenty of times), it took ONE call from Eric to get his ass moving and driving us down to Shreveport. He kept grinning on the way down. I don’t know how long the ride usually is but he drove really really fast and I clutched onto the side of the car for my dear life. (I checked and there were no dents in the plastic. I’m writing it here just in case I get in trouble for it.)
Even I had to smile at the lovely reunion of Bill and Eric. Bill told me to stay in the bar while he went to the back for some “vampire business”. Code word for ‘you’re too young to talk about this’. Typical. But by the time the talking’s done and the two emerged again, Bill was all :D, while Eric just kept smirking. Even a girl like me knew what was happening during their “vampire business”.
Sadly that was the highlight of the evening, which is awful for even me. Some human tried to hit on me, and didn’t get very far before Bill zoomed over here and growled at the guy. So I ended up sitting there nursing a bottle of Tru Blood while Bill kept making googly eyes at Eric, who tried very hard to not look amused, and rather successfully/unsuccessfully (depending who you ask) covered it up with his usual smirk.
Pam got me a new game on Wii. It’s something that has to do with cooking. I hope she’s not implying something because even as a human, I was a horrible cook.
*
Dear Diary,
I made a huge boo-boo tonight. Sookie took me to my parents’ and I know I’m still a newborn and everything but I really really missed my parents and my stupid sister. And I had to have Bill rescue me and cleaned up the mess I made.
I better stop writing before you get soaked by blood.
*
Dear Diary,
I can’t believe I’m in Dallas!!!!!! BITCHES. And they all said I’d be stuck in stupid Bon Temps forever. Sookie came with us to Dallas and Bill told me Eric had some business back home before coming here. I don’t know what’s going on but they’re all being very adult-sy here. I got my very own room too!
So apparently Sookie is a telepath? Cool? But she can’t read vampire thoughts, so that’s pretty useless. I wonder if she can see the faces Bill makes when she’s around. She’s a human, so I doubt it. I don’t know how Bill can stand that woman. I’ll stop before I say anymore and get in trouble. Bill’s a really really really really good actor.
I miss Hoyt. I wish he was
*
Dear Diary,
I know this is early, but Hoyt is amazing. AH-MAY-ZING.
*
Dear Diary,
We’re back in Bon Temps. I don’t think Bill trusts me anymore after seeing Hoyt and me together. But Eric has an emergency vampire business that Bill has to attend to, so I get the house all to myself! I bet my entire wardrobe that the vampire business isn’t that emergency and really Eric just misses Bill. They’re too sweet even if they don’t show it at all. But I know. And probably Pam does too, since Eric’s her maker.
I hope Bill didn’t call Sookie over to watch over me. I don’t need a mom when I already have a dad. Or two dads. And an aunt.
I’ve recently taken up reading because there’s nothing else to do other than stay in the house and pretend I’m normal but I’m not really normal. And I can’t even sneak Hoyt here unless Eric has another emergency business meeting and gets Bill to drive all the way down to Shreveport.
Last time I ventured over to Sookie’s, there were weird naked people doing some weird shit. I don’t even want to know. What I saw cannot be unseen. Damn, and I’m going to live for a long time too. Damn. Damn. Damn.
*
Dear Diary,
I'm hiding upstairs right now because Eric is over at the house. And Bill and him got into a stupid argument over recycling the Tru Blood bottles. We get it Bill, BLUE CONTAINER, WHITE CONTAINER. Maybe if Eric came over more often, then he'd know. But at least I finally remember which container is for which. They're both for recycling! We're vampire, not humans, even if we're supposed to be mainstreaming. My human family never cared for this recycling business.
I can't even play the Wii because they're in the downstairs living room. Luckily Pam did get me those earplugs I asked for. Maybe next time I should ask for an iPod.
Rating: G
Pairing/Characters: Jessica Hamby, Bill Compton/Eric Northman (True Blood)
Word Count: 1,184
Disclaimer: The following story is untrue and does not reflect in any way the characters from the book or the tv show. I make no profit off from this.
Summary: Jessica writes in her diary. She sees things more clearly than Sookie does, obviously.
Notes: I got this idea from this picture at which one breatheonit said: It's like a wedding picture of two gay dads and their kids. (via metatarsus). And this is late night crack. Sort of. Yeah, I don't know either. I'll have an actual writing fic maybe in the future to appease this whut one. Spoiler up to 2x10.
Dear Diary,
Today I got turned into a vampire. It sucked. But now I can swear like a sailor. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK.
It makes me happy. Uh oh, I’m hungry now. Tru Blood time.
*
Dear Diary,
BILL SUCKS.
*
Dear Diary,
Since my human daddy never taught me how to drive before I got turned, Bill now had to teach me how to drive. It’s not my fault if I stepped on the pedal too hard! Luckily, we were in the middle of nowhere, so I didn’t end up killing anyone, or damage the car. I do miss my parents and even my stupid sister.
Enough about them. Bill is being an idiot as usual. He keeps holding onto his cellphone like he’s going to crush the tiny thing the next time he gets emo. I walked by earlier and casually told him to just call him. But of course Bill is too bull-headed to do that. I could tell he’s not excited at all to be baby sitting me. I even offered to stay at home by myself, but of course he said, in his weird accented voice - “You’re a newborn. I’m your maker, it’s my obligation to watch over you until you mature.”
Blah Blah Blah. Fuck you. I’m going to go play some Wii.
*
Dear Diary,
I’ve been turned for a week and I still haven’t left the house once! He wouldn’t even let me go to Fangtasia. I told him that they are plenty of vampires there watching over me. He hadn’t been over to the bar at all either and I could tell he’s getting antsy and moodier by the minute. And my sister told me I was inconsiderate. I should be the model of considerate…sy. And Eric’s there. Eric will never let me get in trouble. He’s the Sheriff after all. Hey, I guess some of Bill’s lessons did end up going into my undead brain. And he said I wasn’t listening. Ha.
Now I’m going to go and prod on Bill some more to get him to take me to Fangtasia. He keeps mentioning the damn bar. It makes a girl curious!
*
Dear Diary,
FINALLY I GOT TO GO TO FANGTASIA. So here’s now it went down. After bugging him again and again to take me to the vampire bar (which he said no to plenty of times), it took ONE call from Eric to get his ass moving and driving us down to Shreveport. He kept grinning on the way down. I don’t know how long the ride usually is but he drove really really fast and I clutched onto the side of the car for my dear life. (I checked and there were no dents in the plastic. I’m writing it here just in case I get in trouble for it.)
Even I had to smile at the lovely reunion of Bill and Eric. Bill told me to stay in the bar while he went to the back for some “vampire business”. Code word for ‘you’re too young to talk about this’. Typical. But by the time the talking’s done and the two emerged again, Bill was all :D, while Eric just kept smirking. Even a girl like me knew what was happening during their “vampire business”.
Sadly that was the highlight of the evening, which is awful for even me. Some human tried to hit on me, and didn’t get very far before Bill zoomed over here and growled at the guy. So I ended up sitting there nursing a bottle of Tru Blood while Bill kept making googly eyes at Eric, who tried very hard to not look amused, and rather successfully/unsuccessfully (depending who you ask) covered it up with his usual smirk.
Pam got me a new game on Wii. It’s something that has to do with cooking. I hope she’s not implying something because even as a human, I was a horrible cook.
*
Dear Diary,
I made a huge boo-boo tonight. Sookie took me to my parents’ and I know I’m still a newborn and everything but I really really missed my parents and my stupid sister. And I had to have Bill rescue me and cleaned up the mess I made.
I better stop writing before you get soaked by blood.
*
Dear Diary,
I can’t believe I’m in Dallas!!!!!! BITCHES. And they all said I’d be stuck in stupid Bon Temps forever. Sookie came with us to Dallas and Bill told me Eric had some business back home before coming here. I don’t know what’s going on but they’re all being very adult-sy here. I got my very own room too!
So apparently Sookie is a telepath? Cool? But she can’t read vampire thoughts, so that’s pretty useless. I wonder if she can see the faces Bill makes when she’s around. She’s a human, so I doubt it. I don’t know how Bill can stand that woman. I’ll stop before I say anymore and get in trouble. Bill’s a really really really really good actor.
I miss Hoyt. I wish he was
*
Dear Diary,
I know this is early, but Hoyt is amazing. AH-MAY-ZING.
*
Dear Diary,
We’re back in Bon Temps. I don’t think Bill trusts me anymore after seeing Hoyt and me together. But Eric has an emergency vampire business that Bill has to attend to, so I get the house all to myself! I bet my entire wardrobe that the vampire business isn’t that emergency and really Eric just misses Bill. They’re too sweet even if they don’t show it at all. But I know. And probably Pam does too, since Eric’s her maker.
I hope Bill didn’t call Sookie over to watch over me. I don’t need a mom when I already have a dad. Or two dads. And an aunt.
I’ve recently taken up reading because there’s nothing else to do other than stay in the house and pretend I’m normal but I’m not really normal. And I can’t even sneak Hoyt here unless Eric has another emergency business meeting and gets Bill to drive all the way down to Shreveport.
Last time I ventured over to Sookie’s, there were weird naked people doing some weird shit. I don’t even want to know. What I saw cannot be unseen. Damn, and I’m going to live for a long time too. Damn. Damn. Damn.
*
Dear Diary,
I'm hiding upstairs right now because Eric is over at the house. And Bill and him got into a stupid argument over recycling the Tru Blood bottles. We get it Bill, BLUE CONTAINER, WHITE CONTAINER. Maybe if Eric came over more often, then he'd know. But at least I finally remember which container is for which. They're both for recycling! We're vampire, not humans, even if we're supposed to be mainstreaming. My human family never cared for this recycling business.
I can't even play the Wii because they're in the downstairs living room. Luckily Pam did get me those earplugs I asked for. Maybe next time I should ask for an iPod.